# Of What Would You be the Patron Saint? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 11, 2017, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206 "2017-12-11T16:04:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2017, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/21 "2017-12-11T20:39:40Z")
I’ll be the patron saint of Motorcyclists! …[Err, nevermind.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Columbanus) I’ll be the _real_ patron saint of Motorcyclists because the previous dude never even got his knee down! Bless your chain my son, Harleys are teh suxor. Amen. _sign of the cross_ ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2017, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/22 "2017-12-11T21:11:26Z")
Beer…it provides pleasure for so many and keeps many a urinal employed. ---
**Author:** ![Aspidistra](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspidistra/32/3894_2.png) [@Aspidistra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspidistra)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2017, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/23 "2017-12-11T21:17:30Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Procrastination. yeah, I was gonna … is it too late to put in my bid for that? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2017, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/24 "2017-12-11T21:25:18Z")
It would be extremely cool to be the Patron Saint of Dark Matter. Yeah, put me down for that. Also, Patron Saint of the Cantor Set. ETA: And the First Uncountable Ordinal. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2017, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/25 "2017-12-11T21:26:30Z")
> [@Aspidistra](#): > > yeah, I was gonna … is it too late to put in my bid for that? Only if nobody claims that after you do. 🙂 ETA: Misspoke myself! It can never be too late for that, only too early. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2017, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/26 "2017-12-11T21:29:11Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Beer…it provides pleasure for so many and keeps many a urinal employed. Ah, yes, reminds me of these immortal words of wisdom: > [@Homer Simpson](#): > > Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2017, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/27 "2017-12-11T22:39:00Z")
Pies I don’t know how I would substantiate this position, other than perhaps professing during my mortal life a pure and unwavering love for pies. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2017, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/28 "2017-12-11T22:42:54Z")
Ennui. ---
**Author:** ![snfaulkner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snfaulkner/32/433_2.png) [@snfaulkner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snfaulkner)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2017, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/29 "2017-12-11T23:10:04Z")
General Jackassery ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2017, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/30 "2017-12-11T23:11:55Z")
Spell checking. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2017, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/31 "2017-12-11T23:16:12Z")
Existential Angst. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2017, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/32 "2017-12-11T23:21:34Z")
Saint Wreck, patron saint of boredom. My miracles would revolve around boring you with my crap life stories. Yea, I talk too much! Give me a break, I am bored! ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2017, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/33 "2017-12-11T23:53:39Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Pies > > I don’t know how I would substantiate this position, other than perhaps professing during my mortal life a pure and unwavering love for pies. I believe that sending out homemade pies to all Dopers would definitely substantiate your position. I’ll take cherry. And lemon meringue. ---
**Author:** ![dolphinboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dolphinboy/32/330_2.png) [@dolphinboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dolphinboy)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/34 "2017-12-12T00:03:05Z")
Either nervous stomach or stage fright… hey, somebody has to be. ---
**Author:** ![fervour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@fervour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fervour)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/35 "2017-12-12T00:21:10Z")
unfinished projects. ETA --it’s not like I’m going to help you finish a project— just relieve you of your guilt that the project is unfinished. ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/36 "2017-12-12T00:34:09Z")
Pedants. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/37 "2017-12-12T00:39:01Z")
There have been so many good choices that I was worried, but nobody took it. I will be the patron saint of toilet paper. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/38 "2017-12-12T00:51:18Z")
Abortion, Of course, this will require some radical changes in the Church. My miracles will be somehow bringing about those changes and making the world a much better place as a result. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/39 "2017-12-12T00:54:25Z")
Untangled knots- no one’s earbuds would ever wind up in a tangle again. Seriously though, I do have a talent for untangling knots. Yarn, earbud cords, necklace chains, I can untie them all. Just today I had a co-worker bring me her necklace that had a knot in it and I was able to undo it in just a few minutes. It’s my semi-useless talent. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/40 "2017-12-12T01:05:21Z")
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