# Of What Would You be the Patron Saint? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 11, 2017, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206 "2017-12-11T16:04:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/41 "2017-12-12T01:28:40Z")
Furry fandom. ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/42 "2017-12-12T02:46:18Z")
Bad Judgment. ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/43 "2017-12-12T03:00:36Z")
smoke detectors ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/44 "2017-12-12T03:39:40Z")
Collaborative Negotiation. I’m the one you come to when you are trying to come up with a win-win strategy. Or if the other guy is playing competitive and you need help bringing him around. That sort of thing. ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/45 "2017-12-12T04:20:34Z")
St. Peter Principle, the patron of those in over their heads. My miracle is turning a BA in English Literature into an information security career. I will also be the patron saint of those suffering from Imposter Syndrome. I will intercede on behalf of those who recite the Catechism of the Holy PowerPoint prior to their yearly performance review. I shall also be known as St. Peter of Garamond. Those who pray to me will find assistance with resume fonts, formatting, and composition. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/46 "2017-12-12T05:53:39Z")
Disco. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/47 "2017-12-12T06:23:07Z")
Dad Jokes ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/48 "2017-12-12T08:52:00Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Pies > > I don’t know how I would substantiate this position, other than perhaps professing during my mortal life a pure and unwavering love for pies. Makers perfect sense; saints are assigned to something that’s related to their life. The nature of the miracles attributed to them during the canonization process (if any) is irrelevant; otherwise we’d have a million saints of Sick People and none of soldiers (Sebastian), farmers (Isidore the Farmer), chemists (Albertus Magnus) or priests (Jean-Baptiste-Marie Vianney). ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/49 "2017-12-12T12:15:08Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > I believe that sending out homemade pies to all Dopers would definitely substantiate your position. I’ll take cherry. And lemon meringue. I’m afraid it’s the festival of Steak and Kidney right now, so you’ll have to take what you’re given. Religion is funny like that. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/50 "2017-12-12T12:56:31Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Makers perfect sense; saints are assigned to something that’s related to their life. The nature of the miracles attributed to them during the canonization process (if any) is irrelevant; otherwise we’d have a million saints of Sick People and none of soldiers (Sebastian), farmers (Isidore the Farmer), chemists (Albertus Magnus) or priests (Jean-Baptiste-Marie Vianney). Not necessarily. Sometimes saints get attributed to certain things because of misunderstandings or misinterpretations of artistic depictions. Saint Agatha of Sicily is the patroness of bell-founders (the guys who cast metal bells) because she appeared to be carrying a plate with bells on them. What she was actually carrying were her severed breasts, which were cut off her as part of the tortures she had to endure. Because some people mistook them for buns, she’s a patroness of bakers\*. I don’t know if it’s also due to a misinterpretation, but she’s also the patron saint prayed to during eruptions of Mt. Etna. Because some people realized that these really were supposed to be her breasts, Agatha also ended up as the patron saint of wet nurses and breast cancer patients. - > [@](#): > > The tradition of Agatha Buns, Agatha bread, or so-called St Agatha’s Breasts or Minni di Virgini (or Vergine), served or blessed on her feast day, is found in many countries. The small round fruit buns are iced and topped with a cherry, intended to represent breasts > **[Agatha of Sicily](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agatha_of_Sicily)** > > Agatha\[a\] of Sicily (c. 231 – 251 AD) is a Christian saint. Her feast is on 5 February. Agatha was born in Catania, part of the Roman Province of Sicily, and was martyred c. 251. She is one of several virgin martyrs who are commemorated by name in the Canon of the Mass. > Agatha is the patron saint of Catania, Molise, Malta, San Marino, Gallipoli in Apulia,\[b\] and Zamarramala, a municipality of the Province of Segovia in Spain. She is also the patron saint of breast cancer patients, rape victims, > ... ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/51 "2017-12-12T14:34:21Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Because some people realized that these really were supposed to be her breasts, Agatha also ended up as the patron saint of wet nurses and breast cancer patients. Of women as well, specially of breastfeeding mothers. In many locations, on her feastday the major got the day off and was replaced by a majoress; this doesn’t make so much sense now that the major can be female year-round. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/52 "2017-12-12T16:33:43Z")
Knee-jerk first reaction: hookers and blow. Second semi-serious response: people fascinated by history - Patron Saint of Historians. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/53 "2017-12-12T18:32:13Z")
I would be the patron saint of patron saints. I get all the escalated issues… ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/54 "2017-12-12T20:38:46Z")
I already know this. Chee-tos, and not knowing when to let a joke stay on the shelf. (Sorry, person who is no longer on this board.) I guess I would like to be the patron saint of awkward misfits who rage against the foolishness of society, but surely the boys in Kansas have a prior claim due to that ‘Carry On Wayward Son’ song. Or of some kind of wildlife, that’d be cool. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2017, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/55 "2017-12-12T20:46:42Z")
Oh, a miracle? How about I use my associated kind of wildlife to miraculously stop the end of Net Neutrality in a couple of days? Would that do? Hang on, this miracle-performing is hard… ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2017, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/56 "2017-12-13T02:49:03Z")
> [@Doctor\_Jackson](#): > > I would be the patron saint of patron saints. I get all the escalated issues… Which would make you the patron saint of yourself, so all of those escalated issues would end up spiraling out of control. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2017, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/57 "2017-12-13T03:12:24Z")
I’d be the patron saint of dryer lint. Next time your SO, roommate or youngster doesn’t clean out the goddam lint trap, offer me a prayer and I’ll see what I can do. You _ **will** _ believe in miracles. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2017, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/58 "2017-12-13T04:10:34Z")
> [@Bayard](#): > > I shall also be known as St. Peter of Garamond. Those who pray to me will find assistance with resume fonts, formatting, and composition. _From the perilous pitfall of Comic Sans, St. Peter of Garamond deliver us!_ ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2017, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/59 "2017-12-13T04:24:58Z")
I would like to be the patron saint of deliverance from amateur theatricals, especially those with forced participation by children. I would offer comfort and succor and the miracle of invisible earplugs. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2017, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206/60 "2017-12-13T05:11:18Z")
I’d be the patron saint of Spirits and more distilleries across the world would hang up my picture. Obviiusly, my first miricle would be turning water into whiskey, then into rum and finely I’d produce a nice apple brandy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/of-what-would-you-be-the-patron-saint/804206.md?page=4)