# Offendapalooza! Let's post our most tasteless jokes here **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 21, 2010, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876 "2010-04-21T16:53:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876/1 "2010-04-21T16:53:55Z")
OH! HELL!!! … Let’s Offend Everybody! Q. What’s the Cuban National Anthem? A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat. Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A. A different bar. Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby? A. Sum Ting Wong . Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A. A speech impediment. Q. Why aren’t there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek? A. Because they’re not going to work in the future either. Q. Why do Driver’s Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays? A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. Q. What’s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal … along with a recipe. Q. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the ‘F’ word? A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, ‘BINGO!’ Q. What’s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale??? A. A northern fairytale begins, …‘Once upon a time…’ A southern fairytale begins, … ‘Y’all ain’t gonna believe this crap.’ Q. Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team? A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump, or swim are already in the United States ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876/2 "2010-04-21T17:00:31Z")
Ah. I thought this was going to be an [**Ofvendahls** palooza](http://translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=sv&u=http://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ofvandahls&ei=fy7PS5H5JYGeswPotamvDg&sa=X&oi=translate&ct=result&resnum=6&ved=0CBkQ7gEwBQ&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dofvandahls%2Buppsala%26num%3D100%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26client%3Dsafari%26sa%3DX%26rls%3Den). ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876/3 "2010-04-21T17:10:24Z")
I feel I should make up for laughing at racist jokes by posting jokes about my own ethnic, but I can’t think of any funny Jew jokes. Feel free. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876/4 "2010-04-21T17:36:10Z")
You want an incredibly offensive Jewish joke? No problem:[spoiler]What’s the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn’t scream when you put it in the oven.[/spoiler]And I win the thread. ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876/5 "2010-04-21T17:37:33Z")
This is not mine, it was posted here a couple weeks ago, but is now my favorite tasteless joke. What is the difference between jam and marmalade? You can’t marmalade your cock up your wife’s ass. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876/6 "2010-04-21T17:40:49Z")
I’d like to go on record as stating that this thread is doomed to drama and it was probably a really bad idea to start. And to add this: How do you treat a woman who’s been struck by a car? What the fuck’s a car doing in the kitchen? ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876/7 "2010-04-21T18:01:04Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > I’d like to go on record as stating that this thread is doomed to drama and it was probably a really bad idea to start. > > And to add this: > > How do you treat a woman who’s been struck by a car? > > What the fuck’s a car doing in the kitchen? What do you call the disgusting piece of skin attached to a vagina? A woman What’s better than fucking 26 year olds? Fucking twenty-one 6 year olds I always suggest the second joke to my friends when they’re meeting their girlfriend’s parents for the first time. But you have to change the age to their daughter’s age. It’s a great ice breaker. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876/8 "2010-04-21T18:08:44Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > I feel I should make up for laughing at racist jokes by posting jokes about my own ethnic, but I can’t think of any funny Jew jokes. Feel free. Why did the Jews wander the desert for 40 years? Someone dropped a quarter. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876/9 "2010-04-21T18:14:10Z")
Who invented copper wire? Two Jews fighting over a penny. ---
**Author:** ![Khaki\_Campbell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Khaki\_Campbell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khaki_Campbell)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876/10 "2010-04-21T18:31:41Z")
What do you get when you cross a Black with a Gypsy ? A kid too lazy to steal. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876/11 "2010-04-21T18:33:46Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > How do you treat a woman who’s been struck by a car? > > What the fuck’s a car doing in the kitchen? What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You’ve already told her twice. ---
**Author:** ![MaxTheVool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MaxTheVool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaxTheVool)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876/12 "2010-04-21T18:48:03Z")
What do you say to a black Jew? Get to the back of the oven ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876/13 "2010-04-21T19:32:07Z")
The last time we had a tasteless joke thread, this one came up, and I have to say it is absolutely the most offensive West Virginia joke I’ve ever heard. I’m so pleased to be able to share it with you.\* How does a West Virginia mother know when her daughter is having her period? Her son’s dick tastes like blood. - I’m from West Virginia, so I’m allowed. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876/14 "2010-04-21T19:36:25Z")
A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm. I forget the rest of the joke, but your mom’s a whore. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876/15 "2010-04-21T19:37:05Z")
> [@freckafree](#): > > The last time we had a tasteless joke thread, this one came up, and I have to say it is absolutely the most offensive West Virginia joke I’ve ever heard. I’m so pleased to be able to share it with you.\* How do you castrate a man in West Virginia? Kick his sister in the jaw. ---
**Author:** ![phreesh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@phreesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phreesh)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876/16 "2010-04-21T19:40:20Z")
So, I’m doin’ this chick from behind and I pull out and stick my cock in her ass. She looks back and says, “That’s a little presumptuous.” So, I say to her, “That’s an awful big word for a ten-year old.” ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876/17 "2010-04-21T19:44:13Z")
What’s easier to unload, a truck full of bowling balls, or a truck full of dead babies? The dead babies - you can use a pitch fork ---
**Author:** ![Shark\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Shark\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876/18 "2010-04-21T19:47:43Z")
What’s the first thing a woman says after sex in Tennessee? “Get off me Pa, you’re crushing my smokes.” /Tennessee resident ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876/19 "2010-04-21T20:03:14Z")
What’s the difference between jam and jelly?[You can’t jelly your dick into a four-years-old’s mouth.](http://somethingpositive.net/sp11102008.shtml) Read em all. There’s something to offend everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Khaki\_Campbell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Khaki\_Campbell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khaki_Campbell)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876/20 "2010-04-21T20:06:27Z")
What separates man from animal ? The Mediterranean Sea. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offendapalooza-lets-post-our-most-tasteless-jokes-here/536876.md?page=2)