# Offer a new fad diet. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 15, 2014, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798 "2014-03-15T21:54:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Bith_Shuffle)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798/1 "2014-03-15T21:54:39Z")
Go ahead and offer us a new fad diet. Mine? One meal a day, to be eaten at lunchtime, composed of three bowls of red beans & rice and two beers. It’s got all your essential nutrients–I swear it! ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798/2 "2014-03-15T22:15:30Z")
Buy your own ingredients, cook your own food, save the sugar for dessert. I call it The Pre-McDonalds Diet. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798/3 "2014-03-15T22:30:58Z")
Nothing but dehydrated vegetable powder and water. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798/4 "2014-03-15T22:55:53Z")
I just heard a story on NPR about the world’s first ice cream cleanse diet. > **[I Did the World's First Ice Cream Cleanse: Yes, Really](https://gizmodo.com/i-did-the-worlds-first-ice-cream-cleanse-yes-really-1536766226)** > > Back during the no-carb diet craze of the early 2000s, I joked that I wanted to try a diet consisting of nothing but carbs and lipids. I would call it the Fatkins Diet. Guess what? I just did exactly that. I ate ice cream, and only ice cream, for... ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2014, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798/5 "2014-03-15T23:55:53Z")
The “Unveg” Diet: Don’t eat anything unless it had a face and a mother. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2014, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798/6 "2014-03-16T12:49:55Z")
Eat whatever you like, so long as you’re standing on a bathroom scale at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Staggerlee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/staggerlee/32/3134_2.png) [@Staggerlee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Staggerlee)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2014, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798/7 "2014-03-20T17:07:19Z")
The No-Meat/Veg Diet, where you’re free to eat fungi and minerals to your heart’s content, but nothing derived from plants or animals. The Stasis Diet - all meals eaten while on the toilet, ingesting food equal in weight to one’s outpourings. ---
**Author:** ![AlsoNamedBort](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alsonamedbort/32/3213_2.png) [@AlsoNamedBort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AlsoNamedBort)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2014, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798/8 "2014-03-20T17:10:00Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > Eat whatever you like, so long as you’re standing on a bathroom scale at the time. Easy: 1. Pick up bowl of food 2. Stand on scale 3. Eat 4. Set down bowl You lost weight! ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2014, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798/9 "2014-03-20T17:15:09Z")
The seefood diet. See food. Eat it. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2014, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798/10 "2014-03-20T20:13:58Z")
Stop eating. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2014, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798/11 "2014-03-20T20:50:39Z")
I had a coworker who lost weight by simply not eating for two consecutive days out of the week. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2014, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798/12 "2014-03-20T20:54:57Z")
I wasn’t (entirely) kidding. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798/13 "2014-03-21T00:42:10Z")
> [@AlsoNamedBort](#): > > Easy: > > 1. Pick up bowl of food > 2. Stand on scale > 3. Eat > 4. Set down bowl > > You lost weight! If you don’t get sticker shock upon performing Step #2, then more power to you. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798/14 "2014-03-21T00:49:33Z")
> [@Lukeinva](#): > > The seefood diet. > > See food. Eat it. It works because you first have to spoon out your own eyes. Don’t see food? Sorry - you don’t eat. ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798/15 "2014-03-21T02:33:11Z")
My diet in college: 6 pack of beer and a bag of chips. Only 1000 calories per day. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798/16 "2014-03-21T03:41:45Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > The “Unveg” Diet: Don’t eat anything unless it had a face and a mother. Occasionally, for work, we’ll have to send someone up to a grocery store to buy lots and lots of rolls (like ALL the rolls they have in stock 10-20-30 dozen, whatever they have). One of the employees, if he gets an odd look from another customer will say “I’m on an _all_ carb diet”. There was a comedian about 15 or 20 years ago (or maybe my friend just made it up) that said “If you can’t see your dick, stop eating”. As dumb as it sounds, when your belly gets that big, it’s probably about the time to start paying attention to what you’re eating, but soon enough that you don’t have to go on ‘a diet’. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798/17 "2014-03-21T03:45:00Z")
I went on a diet my brother termed the Downsize Me diet. I was laid off, barely ate and dropped 10 pounds in less than 2 weeks. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798/18 "2014-03-21T04:10:03Z")
I went on a great diet. Lost like 15 pounds in one day and another 10 over the course of the next week or so. Of course it took 9 months of preparation. ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798/19 "2014-03-21T07:59:10Z")
The Diet of Worms. Denounce Martin Luther for breakfast and lunch, and then have a sensible dinner. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2014, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798/20 "2014-03-21T08:33:50Z")
For every carb gram you eat, you have to eat two grams of protein and five grams of fat. For every gram of fat, you have to divide yesterday’s fat intake by today’s projected protein intake, then add that to tomorrow’s carb intake, to get today’s minimum carb intake. If you eat a meal with more protein than fat, you have to eat a carb amount no less than the average of last week’s daily carbs and a random number selected by your cat. If you don’t have a cat, you can use the online My Cat Pal website, which will generate a random number for you. If the average ratio of fat to protein for the past ten days has been less than 75%, you get an extra 500 calories to be eaten between midnight and six am on an even numbered day, or between six am and ten am on an odd numbered day. Pretty simple, really. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offer-a-new-fad-diet/683798.md?page=2)