# Offers You Are Not Supposed to Take (relationship advice needed) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 24, 2005, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offers-you-are-not-supposed-to-take-relationship-advice-needed/305266 "2005-05-24T15:47:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offers-you-are-not-supposed-to-take-relationship-advice-needed/305266/81 "2005-06-01T14:44:41Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Yeah, that’s what I was trying to say. "Your words say “no”, but your eyes say “yes.” I would bet you a dollar that’s what your girlfriend is doing, too. Hey **Happy** , you back yet? What’s the word? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offers-you-are-not-supposed-to-take-relationship-advice-needed/305266/82 "2005-06-01T14:58:42Z")
I haven’t left yet. I drive to her place in Boston on Friday evening. From there, I sleep, then drive with her to Montreal for the wedding weekend. Rehearsal dinner on Saturday, wedding on Sunday, drive straight from the wedding back to Boston on Sunday night, then Monday morning it’s back to NYC. Provided, of course, it all goes off. Her family is going through some stuff, and they are avoiding worrying about it by worrying about her, “suggesting” that, with her exams coming up, she might be better served staying in Boston to study. If this keeps up, staying at her parents’ will be untenable and she wouldn’t even dream of us getting a hotel (it’d be “insulting,” it’s “not done.”). She can’t leave me with them while she goes to study up there, so it’s either go alone or don’t go or study on the drive. It might set off a barrage of guilt even if she does go, because parental suggestions are seen (wholly by the parents and almost completely by her) as _ex cathedra_ (or the Jewish version thereof) statements, so for her to not do as “suggested” might be treated as heretical (again, or the Jewish version thereof). So right now, I don’t even know if the Montreal thing is happening. But it was my good-faith acquiesence to the plan that earned me the points to go to St. Catharine’s, so I’m still going. That’s August 5 through 7. Stay tuned. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offers-you-are-not-supposed-to-take-relationship-advice-needed/305266/83 "2005-06-01T16:31:15Z")
That is way too freakin’ complicated. You sure you actually want to be in this relationship? Cause I’m getting exhausted just reading about it. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offers-you-are-not-supposed-to-take-relationship-advice-needed/305266/84 "2005-06-01T19:18:59Z")
Seriously. I don’t know _what’s_ going on at this point. So she may not be able to go to the wedding because her _parents_ feel that she should be studying instead? How old is she? It really does seem that, considering your feelings about the relationship, it’s a lot more trouble than it’s worth. But that’s up to you in the end. Sorry, I had assumed you’d be going up this past holiday weekend. Guess I didn’t read the OP close enough. So she lives with her parents? Who do you stay with when you go up there to visit regularly? Her parents? If staying in a hotel is “not done” I can’t imagine having your boyfriend shacking up with you for the weekend in your parent’s house would be much better. Are you guys sleeping together? (Don’t feel you have to answer that if it seems too probative). ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offers-you-are-not-supposed-to-take-relationship-advice-needed/305266/85 "2005-06-01T20:03:01Z")
> [@SlyFrog](#): > > Some people want to make anything they went through seem as though it is a trial by fire. Unfortunately, with the number of attorneys we pump out every year, by definition, law school cannot be a trial by fire, as hundreds of thousands of people are not bright enough or strong enough to survive such a thing. Do not turn law school into that, with regard to your relationships or otherwise. I’ll agree. People say the same thing about B-school. “Woo the instructor calls on you right in the middle of class” Big freakin deal. I would make up entire presentation on the fly and still get an A. It’s all a piece-o-cake compared to engineering school. anyhow, enough hijack. Happy Scrappy Hero Pup what exactly are you getting out of this relationship? If you flew, at least you could get frequent flyer miles. I just don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offers-you-are-not-supposed-to-take-relationship-advice-needed/305266/86 "2005-06-01T20:55:45Z")
Count me as another vote for flying, especially if it means that you don’t have to take a day off work. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offers-you-are-not-supposed-to-take-relationship-advice-needed/305266/87 "2005-06-01T21:53:34Z")
> [@Happy Scrappy Hero Pup](#): > > ex cathedra (or the Jewish version thereof) _ex yarmulke_ 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/offers-you-are-not-supposed-to-take-relationship-advice-needed/305266.md?page=4)