# Office pqrty question **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 28, 2005, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-pqrty-question/328319 "2005-10-28T15:01:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-pqrty-question/328319/1 "2005-10-28T15:01:37Z")
Actually not exactly an office party - the head of our group is having a party at his house for us. He didn’t specifically say “and guest”. We are a fairly close-knit and friendly group - I think most of us know everyone’s spouses. 1. In terms of workplace etiquette, bringing a girlfriend is (a) expected, (b) acceptable, or © unusual and/or frowned upon? 2. In terms of dating etiquette, if you’ve been dating someone for several months, inviting her to such an event would be (a) required, (b) acceptable, or © unusual? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-pqrty-question/328319/2 "2005-10-28T15:03:30Z")
If people are bringing spouses, and you’ve been dating someone pretty exclusively for a few months, it sounds like it would be somewhere between “acceptable” and “expected” on both points. ---
**Author:** ![wasson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4da419/32.png) [@wasson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wasson)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-pqrty-question/328319/3 "2005-10-28T15:32:32Z")
I think if he didn’t say “and guest”, it’s pretty well understood that you should show up alone. Keep your ears peeled though, if he mentions anything about bringing a wife/girlfriend. It may be okay afterall. An exclusive girlfriend of a few months is invited if spouses are, as far as I’m concerned. If the girl isn’t invited, tell her those were the rules set up by the host. Are you worried she’d be mad? ---
**Author:** ![CartesianDaemon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9a140/32.png) [@CartesianDaemon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CartesianDaemon)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-pqrty-question/328319/4 "2005-10-28T15:40:25Z")
It sounds like you get on fairly well. Why not just ask? “Hey, Bob, are we supposed to bring our other halves to this?” doesn’t really create an expectation either way, does it? ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-pqrty-question/328319/5 "2005-10-28T15:45:18Z")
> [@wasson](#): > > I think if he didn’t say “and guest”… Actually it was just an oral invitation, and he knows I’m not married. Should I just ask? > [@](#): > > Are you worried she’d be mad? Not _mad_, but I don’t want her to think I’m ashamed to be seen with her. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-pqrty-question/328319/6 "2005-10-28T15:49:37Z")
> [@scr4](#): > > Actually it was just an oral invitation, and he knows I’m not married. Should I just ask? Yeah. Your boss may not realize you’re dating someone. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-pqrty-question/328319/7 "2005-10-28T15:51:48Z")
[QUOTE=scr4] Actually it was just an oral invitation, and he knows I’m not married. Should I just ask? [QUOTE] I agree - ask. If you have a good rapore with Boss, then Boss won’t mind the question ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-pqrty-question/328319/8 "2005-10-28T16:02:38Z")
or ask ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-pqrty-question/328319/9 "2005-10-28T16:04:30Z")
If it’s a really serious relationship and other people are bringing spouses, you should bring her. But if you’re just casually dating or you still feel like the realthionship is new, I wouldn’t. She’ll probably be bored and the work parties are usually a chance for you and your coworkers to socialize outside of work. If you have to stay glued to her side while constantly introducing her, it kind of defeats the purpose of a work party.