# Office Work is Fucking Dangerous **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 17, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989 "2003-03-17T14:09:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/1 "2003-03-17T14:09:22Z")
I just cut my fucking tongue whilst licking an A4-sized envelope. A paper cut. In my TONGUE. OOOOUUUUUCCCCHHHHH. :mad: [sub]And to think it’s only got 4 days to heal. I’m visiting my girlfriend next weekend.[/sub] 😉 Alright, back to work. I’ll use the stupid sponge thing next time. Grrrr. ---
**Author:** ![LolaCocaCola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@LolaCocaCola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaCocaCola)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/2 "2003-03-17T14:22:45Z")
I got a paper cut on my nipple once when I was rubbing a magazine perfume sample on my chest after I got out of the shower. Freaky. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/3 "2003-03-17T14:25:21Z")
Youch! That sounds even more painful. My tongue is throbbing. I feel like breaking out da lettah opener o’ death and stabbing someone. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/4 "2003-03-17T14:31:26Z")
All in one day: I realized I’d been running the wrong commercial for a client all month. I gave myself a _folder_ cut while filing some papers. My belt fell in the toilet while I was going to the bathroom and I peed on it. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/5 "2003-03-17T14:37:12Z")
Licking the foil lids of yoghurt pots has got me into trouble before now, I always make a point (and with envelopes too) of licking toward the edges) ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/6 "2003-03-17T14:44:03Z")
Maybe your girlfriend can kiss it and make it better. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/7 "2003-03-17T14:44:27Z")
I once stapled the web of skin between my left thumb and forefinger to a document with one of those huge lever-operated staplers. After I got the bleeding stopped I had to make another copy of the stupid document, because my boss had some stupid complaint about not wanting blood all over his reading material. It’s stuff like this that got me barred from the tool shop. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/8 "2003-03-17T14:52:31Z")
Exgineer, you crack me up. 😃 And OUCH!! Mangetout, I am a yogurt-lid-licker as well. Is there a support group for us or something? ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/9 "2003-03-17T14:53:47Z")
I work for a large company that has many manufacturing sites plus plenty of offices and technical facilities. The injury rates are much higher at the offices and technical facilities, mainly because people there aren’t as focused on safety as those in a manufacturing environment. Lots of turned ankles from heels, slips and falls on slick surfaces, etc. Although much less likely to get a fatality. (Maybe that’s more serious than the OP intended ;). But using a damp sponge to seal envelopes would be much safer. ) Now **LCC** , about that nipple injury, the best salve is saliva… ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/10 "2003-03-17T15:05:39Z")
Now you must drink lots of booze to keep it from getting infected. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/11 "2003-03-17T15:06:36Z")
I work with someone who received paper cuts to the eyes. She’s a lovely person, but to this day I can’t look at her without shivering - your eyes, for gods sake. Ick ick ick. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/12 "2003-03-17T16:04:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > **Exgineer, you crack me up.** Happy to be of service. Of course, you now have me all hypersensitive about office safety and I’m likely to be overcautious all day. This should lead to a spectacular accident. I’ll probably maim myself with a filing cabinet or something. ---
**Author:** ![jacquilynne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jacquilynne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jacquilynne)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/13 "2003-03-17T16:23:05Z")
Sigh. Don’t even go there, Exgineer. Facilities was re-arranging the furniture in our quadicle about a year ago and as they tried to slide a five foot high, completely full filing cabinet behind me, they accidentally knocked it over onto me. I had a headache for about a month, though the x-rays and CT showed no serious damage. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/14 "2003-03-17T16:24:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ivylass \* > **I gave myself a _folder_ cut while filing some papers.** Ever gotten one of those under your fingernail? Man, that’s making me cringe just thinking about it. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/15 "2003-03-17T17:26:13Z")
I have an affinity for tape-dispenser injuries. Stupid sharp edges! At least it’s been a while since I’ve closed an appendage in a drawer. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Pebs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Johnny\_Pebs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Pebs)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/16 "2003-03-17T17:29:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\*Maybe your girlfriend can kiss it and make it better. \*\* But only if it’s a _Freedom_ kiss and not one of yucky old French kisses! 😉 Pebs ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/17 "2003-03-17T17:36:56Z")
I’ve never seen it myself, but the first day in a new office I was being given the tour and introduced to how the machines worked and when we came to the shredder the woman made a point of warning me about it. Apparently they had an associate once who didn’t make sure his tie was out of the way while he was destroying some documents. That could get nasty. ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/18 "2003-03-17T17:51:28Z")
Ow. I’ve done that. Hurts like a sumbitch. I believe your tongue is the second fastest thing to heal, with your eyeball being the very fastest. So you’ll be fine. At least you don’t have a paper cut on your dick. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/19 "2003-03-17T17:55:44Z")
“girlfriend can kiss it to make it better” “paper cut on your dick” _light bulb goes on over Coldfire’s head_ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/20 "2003-03-17T18:18:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\* > > “paper cut on your dick” > \*\* Don’t do it. Trust me on this one. :eek: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989.md?page=2)