# Office Work is Fucking Dangerous **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 17, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989 "2003-03-17T14:09:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/21 "2003-03-17T18:18:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gary Kumquat \* > \*\*I work with someone who received paper cuts to the eyes. She’s a lovely person, but to this day I can’t look at her without shivering - your eyes, for gods sake. Ick ick ick. \*\* Cuts? **Plural?** Dear god, you’d think she’d adjust her filing technique after the first cut! – Justin ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/22 "2003-03-17T19:29:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > “girlfriend can kiss it to make it better” > > “paper cut on your dick” > > _light bulb goes on over Coldfire’s head_ 😃 I wouldn’t do it. Unless the toilet paper at work is really, really nasty stuff and you’re trying to claim you were being extra-hygenic, that one would be hard to explain away as an office accident. ---
**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/23 "2003-03-17T20:02:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Exgineer \* > \*\*I once stapled the web of skin between my left thumb and forefinger to a document with one of those huge lever-operated staplers. After I got the bleeding stopped I had to make another copy of the stupid document, because my boss had some stupid complaint about not wanting blood all over his reading material. > \*\* I had to return photocopied exams to my students once after my baby barfed all over the originals. They seemed pleased with my foresight. ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/24 "2003-03-17T20:08:35Z")
I used to stock shelves and will take a paper cut over a cardboard cut any day. I’m just thankful I always cut away from myself with the boxcutters… We had one guy get the webbing between the thumb and fingers. _You know if you ask nicely you shouldnt have to injure yourself to get those kind of kisses_ ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/25 "2003-03-17T20:09:12Z")
I shrink-wrapped my thumb a couple times. Now _that_ hurts. ---
**Author:** ![Crusoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@Crusoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crusoe)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/26 "2003-03-17T20:13:44Z")
I’ve had my eyeball cut by someone’s thumbnail at work. It didn’t hurt, but it did feel really unpleasant while it healed - like I could feel my eyelid brushing across the cut every time I blinked. I’ve also managed to get glass splinters by leaning on the screen of an overhead projector. ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/27 "2003-03-17T20:42:21Z")
> [@](#): > > I just cut my fucking tongue whilst licking an A4-sized envelope Are you sure it wasn’t on a [vacuum fan blade](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=166240&highlight=vacuum+cleaner) ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/28 "2003-03-17T23:15:30Z")
Nah, I wouldn’t lick a vaccuum cleaner. What kind of sicko do you think I am? Hang on, don’t answer that. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/29 "2003-03-17T23:24:31Z")
Just for **jacquilynne** : I didn’t manage to maim myself, nor did I have a filing-cabinet-related accident of any sort. I did, however, skin one of my knuckles in an ill-advised attempt to open a security door. Don’t ask, okay? I just have a talent. This is all **Coldfire** ’s fault. I hope he’s happy. ---
**Author:** ![ratty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ccd318/32.png) [@ratty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratty)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/30 "2003-03-18T11:24:01Z")
Don’t worry, **Coldie** , your tongue is one of the fastest-healing things on the body. But now that you’ve brought up tongue-slicing, you could just go whole hog like [this guy.](http://www.bmezine.com/media/e-tong.jpg) I hear you can actually move the two sides of your tongue independently after you get this done. Your girlfriend might appreciate that. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/31 "2003-03-18T11:31:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gary Kumquat \* > \*\*I work with someone who received paper cuts to the eyes. \*\* Ye gods, man. _How_? _How_? (And in the plural!?!?) ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989/32 "2003-03-18T11:39:40Z")
Something to do with a carton of paper bursting open on a high shelf. Believe me, it’s not something I could have a detailed conversation with her about. Paper cuts…eyes…oh the humanity. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/office-work-is-fucking-dangerous/161989.md?page=1)