# Official "First Words Out of Your Mouth After Waking This Morning" Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 4, 2006, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156 "2006-07-04T14:55:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Doom\_Slinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@Doom\_Slinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doom_Slinger)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/1 "2006-07-04T14:55:30Z")
“There’s a hand on my buttocks.” ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/2 "2006-07-04T15:02:17Z")
“Meow meow meow” (responding to my cat’s demand for breakfast). ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/3 "2006-07-04T15:04:02Z")
“Aw, nuts.” ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/4 "2006-07-04T15:14:24Z")
WTF did I drink last night ---
**Author:** ![Precambrianmollusc](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/precambrianmollusc/32/63_2.png) [@Precambrianmollusc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Precambrianmollusc)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/5 "2006-07-04T15:15:46Z")
Muuuuurrrrrrggghh christ FLUSH I’d give it a couple of minutes if I were you ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/6 "2006-07-04T15:22:38Z")
“God fucking dammit!” which was a response to my wife yelling to wake me up and telling me that my dog Bear was running down the road. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/7 "2006-07-04T15:24:35Z")
_“Why did you have to sneeze on me, cat?”_ Yep - 5 AM, she climbed on my pillow. I ignored her. She sneezed - all over my face. Good morning to you… ---
**Author:** ![Electronic\_Chaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Electronic\_Chaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electronic_Chaos)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/8 "2006-07-04T15:28:52Z")
Probably some variation of “Hey, bud.” when my cat jumped in my bed to tell me hello. ---
**Author:** ![interface2x](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@interface2x](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/interface2x)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/9 "2006-07-04T15:31:08Z")
I flipped on the television to find a former American Idol contestant butchering a song on Regis and Whoever Is With Him Now and my reaction was “what the hell is that?” ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/10 "2006-07-04T15:43:56Z")
“Nyuurgh.” I’m not very eloquent at eight in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/11 "2006-07-04T16:14:56Z")
“Hi.” _waves lazily at the wife_ ---
**Author:** ![Cheez\_Whia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d26b3c/32.png) [@Cheez\_Whia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheez_Whia)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/12 "2006-07-04T16:19:51Z")
“G’mornin’ honey.” My hubby let me sleep in, then brought coffee in to me at _10:00._ :eek: I never thought I would sleep that late today! He’s a sweetie. ---
**Author:** ![leafrog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cab0a1/32.png) [@leafrog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leafrog)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/13 "2006-07-04T16:21:37Z")
“It’s raining.” “Of course, it’s the 4th of July.” My husband and I on passing each other on the way to and from the bathroom at 5:40. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/14 "2006-07-04T16:39:32Z")
Mmmmmrph. _yawn_ _reach down to scritch beagle-shaped lump under the covers_ ---
**Author:** ![Analogue\_Skywalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dec6dc/32.png) [@Analogue\_Skywalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Analogue_Skywalker)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/15 "2006-07-04T16:41:44Z")
Kitty No Bitey!!! ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/16 "2006-07-04T16:48:23Z")
**deesiresjohn:** “You farted at me!” **silenus:** “Love you, boo. C’mere, Havoc.” ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/17 "2006-07-04T16:51:21Z")
“But I don’t _want_ to go to work.” > [@Doom Slinger](#): > > “There’s a hand on my buttocks.” Really? You actually used the word “buttocks”? How very formal of you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/18 "2006-07-04T16:51:54Z")
“White Rabbit, White Rabbit, White Rabbit.” Same as always. ---
**Author:** ![cruel\_butterfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5daacb/32.png) [@cruel\_butterfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cruel_butterfly)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/19 "2006-07-04T17:04:29Z")
“It’s the Fourth of July…I don’t _want_ to get on the treadmill.” (I got up and got on it anyway, because my husband seemed so disappointed. In a tiny act of defiance, however, I wore my flip-flops and only went 3 miles an hour for fifteen minutes 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/20 "2006-07-04T17:08:17Z")
Damn, everything fxxxing hurts! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156.md?page=2)