# Official "First Words Out of Your Mouth After Waking This Morning" Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 4, 2006, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156 "2006-07-04T14:55:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/21 "2006-07-04T17:25:45Z")
“Fuck.” ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/22 "2006-07-04T17:27:11Z")
Hi Cap’n. Do you need to go potty? ---
**Author:** ![Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a8b319/32.png) [@Spatial\_Rift\_47](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spatial_Rift_47)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/23 "2006-07-04T17:28:31Z")
“Good, now I only have to do five more impossible things before breakfast.” ---
**Author:** ![Linty\_Fresh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Linty\_Fresh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Linty_Fresh)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/24 "2006-07-04T17:34:35Z")
Mmmuphmmumph–shnortle, shnortle \<-- repeat for about 30 seconds “Knock yourself out” to **Mrs. Fresh** when she asked if I’d mind if she watched her recorded soaps in bed. I lead an adventurous life! ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/25 "2006-07-04T17:36:42Z")
“Hurnnnn.” “Uh” “Don’t wanna gotowork… uuuuuuh…” (I’m in Spain so it’s not a holiday, but I’m leaving the job in two weeks and don’t really fancy it much right now) ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/26 "2006-07-04T17:38:17Z")
“So what was all the noise about?” ---
**Author:** ![scott62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@scott62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scott62)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/27 "2006-07-04T17:42:07Z")
“What day is it?” said to Mrs. 62 after she death poked me to wake me up for work 90 minutes late. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Clam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@Happy\_Clam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Clam)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/28 "2006-07-04T17:54:25Z")
“That was one _fucking_ weird dream.” ---
**Author:** ![SurrenderDorothy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/surrenderdorothy/32/1221_2.png) [@SurrenderDorothy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SurrenderDorothy)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/29 "2006-07-04T17:59:54Z")
“hey gorgeous! do you wanna…” to my dog. and the sixth, seventh, eighth, and ninth words were “go for a walk” ---
**Author:** ![SurrenderDorothy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/surrenderdorothy/32/1221_2.png) [@SurrenderDorothy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SurrenderDorothy)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/30 "2006-07-04T18:04:21Z")
bluh. That last post makes very little sense unless you know that I somehow decided this thread was the “first **five** words out of your mouth after waking up this morning” thread. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/31 "2006-07-04T18:11:40Z")
“Unfortunately, yes.” ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/32 "2006-07-04T18:11:54Z")
“Doodle.” ---
**Author:** ![Stainz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stainz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stainz)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/33 "2006-07-04T18:17:15Z")
“I love you” ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/34 "2006-07-04T18:29:13Z")
I haven’t said a word yet today. This message board post is my first communication with the outside world. ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/35 "2006-07-04T18:29:18Z")
I don’t think I’ve said anything yet, actually. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/36 "2006-07-04T18:34:52Z")
[QUOTE=Electronic Chaos] Probably some variation of “Hey, bud.” when my cat jumped in my bed to tell me hello. [/QUOTE] 🙂 Same here. I said: “Hee manneke” (Dutch for “Hi there little fellow”) when I came downstairs this morning and was greeted by the cats. ---
**Author:** ![Doom\_Slinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9d8465/32.png) [@Doom\_Slinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doom_Slinger)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/37 "2006-07-04T18:37:07Z")
[QUOTE=Maureen] Really? You actually used the word “buttocks”? How very formal of you. 🙂 [/QUOTE] You have to imagine it in a faux-surprised Forrest Gump voice – I was making a wisecrack when I woke to find Mrs. Slinger’s hand creeping into my boxer briefs. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/38 "2006-07-04T19:09:12Z")
Isn’t that a wonderful way to wake up? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/39 "2006-07-04T19:24:31Z")
“Mornin’,” to my dad. [QUOTE=silenus] Isn’t that a wonderful way to wake up? 😃 [/QUOTE] Indeed, sirrah. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156/40 "2006-07-04T19:55:16Z")
“Yeah, yeah.” In response to my wife’s pleas to go turn on the hot water heater and the furnace in the RV. It got chilly in dem thar hills. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-first-words-out-of-your-mouth-after-waking-this-morning-thread/363156.md?page=3)