# Official Straight Dope RIOT now in effect! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 30, 2000, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942 "2000-05-30T21:09:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Wood\_Thrush](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b38774/32.png) [@Wood\_Thrush](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wood_Thrush)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2000, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942/1 "2000-05-30T21:09:43Z")
The protest is going nowhere\*\*\*!\*\*\* it’s turned into a moronic, walrus–humped, laywer–filled **joke** \*\*\*!\*\*\* If we ever want action, we have to act **now** \*\*\*!\*\*\* Are we going to sit idly by while the SDMB’s _future_ hangs in the balance? _For liberty_\*\*!\*\*\* For freedom\*\*\*!\*\*\* Forever\*\*\*!\*\*\*\* Who’s with me\*\*\*?!\*\*\* ::::lights bonfire and throws the last two colons of this action into it:: ---
**Author:** ![Shadowfox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Shadowfox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfox)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2000, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942/2 "2000-05-30T21:14:06Z")
You think you can start a riot with just a bonfire? Geez, do I have to do **everything** around here? (jumps up onto the hood of the nearest car and starts chanting) RODNEY KING! RODNEY KING! RODNEY KING! Come on! Everybody! Help me flip this car over! ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2000, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942/3 "2000-05-30T21:16:44Z")
::VogueVixen picks up metal garbagecan and heaves it through the window of Sal’s pizzaria:: ---
**Author:** ![Sledman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Sledman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sledman)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2000, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942/4 "2000-05-30T21:25:24Z")
For God’s Sake Man, we haven’t formed the militant branch yet. Yet I agree the time for action is now. We have waited long enough while our forefathers sat on their hands. Lights Molotov cocktail and suddenly realizes it is BratMan007’s bottle of Everclear covered in fish entrails. Oooh, ahh, oww, burns self but saves bottle for BratMan007. Now where is that Bullhorn? Bratman…Bratman… ---
**Author:** ![Fanny\_May](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3be4f8/32.png) [@Fanny\_May](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fanny_May)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2000, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942/5 "2000-05-30T21:58:51Z")
What, a four-man riot? Please wake me when the streets are open again. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![as\_u\_wish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@as\_u\_wish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/as_u_wish)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2000, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942/6 "2000-05-30T22:06:04Z")
Ok, don’t all thank me at once. I laid down supplies for this spontaneous event. 115 North Main. Bottles, gasoline, chains, **three bullhorns** , beer, assorted sizes of rocks, bricks, sledge hammers, face paint, double strength trash bags for minor looting, even a couple dollies & a cart if we go all out and take on the major appliance stores, huge stash of plywood & barrels for barricade construction–you name it, we’ve got it. Go in through the back door…exit through the front…Bail number is the same as last week. Password is Cecil. Militant Branch (Spontaneous Demanding Brancho Militante?) Organizational Meeting postponed until next week. Go you psychos go. ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2000, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942/7 "2000-05-30T22:13:08Z")
Let’s _ **really** _ rock this joint…hehehehheh… \< VB sets down his beer and draws a careful bead on Hizzoner the Mayors’ limo with a Stinger… \> ---
**Author:** ![Rodd\_Hill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3ab097/32.png) [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2000, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942/8 "2000-05-30T23:35:57Z")
Down with the Tsar! Smash the Spinning Jenny! Free Fatty Arbuckle! Learn from Comrade Wang Guofu: Spare no effort to pull the cart of revolution until it reaches the stage of communism! ---
**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2000, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942/9 "2000-05-30T23:39:08Z")
:: Playing inspirational music by Sublime :: _April 26th, 1992 There was a riot on the streets Tell me where were you? You were sittin’ home watchin’ your TV While I was paticipating in some anarchy First spot we hit it was my liqour store I finally got all that alcohol I can’t afford With red lights flashin’, time to retire And then we turned that liquor store into a structure fire Next stop we hit, it was the music shop, It only took one brick to make that window drop Finally we got our own P.A. Where do you think I got this guitar that you’re hearing today? (Homicide, never doin’ no time) When we returned to the pad to unload everything It dawned on me that I need new home furnishings So once again we filled the van until it was full Since that day my livin’ room’s been much more comfortable Cause everybody in the hood has had it up to here It’s getting harder and harder and harder each and every year Some kids went in a store with their mother I saw her when she came out she was gettin’ some Pampers They said it was for the black man They said it was for the mexican And not for the white man But if you look at the streets, it wasn’t about Rodney King It’s this fucked-up situation and these fucked-up police It’s about comin’ up and stayin’ on top And screamin’ 187 on a mother fuckin’ cop It’s not in the paper, it’s on the wall National guard Smoke from all around [Units be advised of an attempt 211 to arrest now at 938 Temple, 9-3-8 Temple, many subjects with bats trying to get inside the CB’s house…they’re trying to kill him] Let it burn Wanna let it burn, wanna let it burn Wanna wanna let it burn_ ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2000, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942/10 "2000-05-30T23:47:00Z")
There’ll be no riots on my watch. You remember seeing the authorities squashing little Elian Gonzalez and family, don’t you? This time we have the authority, nay, the _obligation]_ to use deadly force. Don’t make me bring Janet Reno in here. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942/11 "2000-05-31T00:49:09Z")
_A rhhiot iz ahn ug-lee sching. Und vonce you get von scharted, zer iz verry liddle chanze of schtopping it, schort uf bloodsched._ Sounds good to me!! 😃 😃 😃 I get to throw the cinderblocks through the plate glass windows & watch every body inside run around like rats in a firestorm!!! ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942/12 "2000-05-31T01:34:29Z")
Let the looting begin!!! I’ve been wanting another vcr, dvd player, and an arm full of designer duds. ---
**Author:** ![Argeable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b5ac83/32.png) [@Argeable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argeable)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942/13 "2000-05-31T02:09:13Z")
Aghhh! Government agents! Quick, pay him off… ::pulls out a heavy suit case, an airhorn, and 60,000 angry working class citizens:: We want our demands to be met in full! Now! We’ll march on the capitol! I swear, if you won’t hear us, Cecil will! Actually, screw that! Let’s just break some expensive stuff! Storm the police station! ::politely and timidly asks UncleBear to please step aside, as we’re trying to Riot:: ---
**Author:** ![X-files](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/76d3ee/32.png) [@X-files](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/X-files)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942/14 "2000-05-31T03:37:53Z")
\*\* [Dihydrogen Monoxide - Invisible killer?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=25982)\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942/15 "2000-05-31T04:14:23Z")
Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!! \<\\> ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942/16 "2000-05-31T04:42:52Z")
A riot? Cool, I’ve never been to a riot before (well, unless you count Guy Stuff). What should I wear? Does this gas mask go with these shoes? How about this machine gun? ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942/17 "2000-05-31T05:14:52Z")
Sounds like fun what can I do? I’ve never been an anarchist before. I need to break out of being Little Miss Goody Two Shoes. _takes a two by four and starts to smash car windows_ Like this? I need instructions in case I’m doing something wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942/18 "2000-05-31T05:28:30Z")
\*\*RIOTING! The unbeatable high! Adrenalin shoots your nerves to the sky! Everyone knows, this town is gonna blow, And it’s all…gonna blow… RIGHT NOW! Now you can smash all the windows that you want, all you really need are some friends and a rock. Throwing a brick never felt so damn good. Smash more glass, scream with a laugh, and wallow with the crowds, watch them kicking people’s ass! You get to the place, where the real slave drivers live. It’s walled off by the riot squad, aiming guns right at your head! So you turn right around, and play right into their hands, and set your own neighborhood, burning to the ground instead. RIOT! The unbeatable high! RIOT! Sends your nerves to the sky! RIOT! Playing right into their hands! Tomorrow you’re homeless, tonight it’s a blast! Get your licks in quick! They’re calling the National guard. Now may be your only chance to torch a police car! Climb the roof, kick the siren in, and jump and yelp for joy! Quickly, dive back into the crowd, slip away now, don’t get caught. Well, cruise down to the hi-fi store, get as much as you can hold. Pray your poor arms don’t fall off, here comes the owner with a gun. RIOT! The unbeatable high! RIOT! Sends your nerves to the sky! RIOT! Playing right into their hands! Tomorrow you’re homeless, tonight it’s a blast! SHIT! The barricades spring up from nowhere. Cops in helmets line the lines. Shotguns prod into your bellies, their trigger fingers want an excuse. The rageing mob has lost it’s nerve. There’s more of us, but who goes first? No one dares to cross the line. The cops, know that they’ve won. It’s all over, but not quite. The pigs have just begun to fight! They club your head, kick your teeth, police can riot all that they please! RIOT! The unbeatable high! RIOT! Sends your nerves to the sky! RIOT! Playing right into their hands! Tomorrow you’re homeless, tonight it’s a blast! Tomorrow you’re homeless, tonight it’s a blast! Tomorrow you’re homeless, tonight it’s a blast! Tomorrow you’re homeless, tonight it’s a blast! Tomorrow you’re homeless, tonight it’s a blast! Tomorrow you’re homeless, tonight it’s a blast! Tomorrow you’re homeless, tonight it’s a blast!\*\* Riot by Dead Kennedys That’s the song for a riot! ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942/19 "2000-05-31T06:10:23Z")
I’m in! Do we have any militant rednecks with old pickup trucks with astroturf and a gunrack in the bed? That’s what we need right now! OH! We also need as many drunken Scotsmen and Irishmen as we can get! We got our work cut out for us…lets loot some stores! ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942/20 "2000-05-31T06:12:20Z")
**donning armor, and spreading the tanglefoot and tear gas** OK, now, I don’t care how many of you’uns we’re gonna have to fit into each cell. Prison isn’t supposed to be fun. Move along, now, disperse peacefully, and none of you has to get hurt. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/official-straight-dope-riot-now-in-effect/20942.md?page=2)