# Often inappropriate, seldom if ever jerkish. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 21, 2007, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-inappropriate-seldom-if-ever-jerkish/419995 "2007-09-21T15:31:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2007, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-inappropriate-seldom-if-ever-jerkish/419995/1 "2007-09-21T15:31:20Z")
With reports of cholera in Iraq the news last night and this morning, I mused to compare the Iraqi situation with the US indian wars of the 19th century. That collided with the old saw about the government, trust, indians and whales, and became: Two Americans, one of whom is a Native American, and a dolphin are sitting in a bar when a federal employee of some description walks in. “I’m from the government, and I’m here to help you.” She cheerfully announces. “She looks nice enough, I think we should let her help, it’s what we pay taxes for, It’ll make things better.” Said the american. The indian said “Wanna Bet?” “Hunh? I can hear a fucking thing!” complained the dolphin. So, I came in off the porch, where I had been reading the newspaper in the sun, to share that with you. Here, in the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2007, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-inappropriate-seldom-if-ever-jerkish/419995/2 "2007-09-21T15:34:16Z")
Why is the whale there? Did I miss something? Is it just a whale bar? Edit. You are not helping me with this dolphin business. ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2007, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-inappropriate-seldom-if-ever-jerkish/419995/3 "2007-09-21T15:35:40Z")
[QUOTE=stolichnaya] Why is the whale there? Did I miss something? Is it just a whale bar? [/QUOTE] The hampster tried to eat the post, I got it back, but in the first paste, for some reason, the whale’s dialoge was gone. Then I changed the whale to a dolphin, so it was a long edit. You caught me with my fonts down. ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2007, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-inappropriate-seldom-if-ever-jerkish/419995/4 "2007-09-21T15:37:36Z")
[QUOTE=stolichnaya] Edit. You are not helping me with this dolphin business. [/QUOTE] Umm. Refresh or re-enter the thread, and it should make sense now. ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2007, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-inappropriate-seldom-if-ever-jerkish/419995/5 "2007-09-21T15:39:47Z")
Do any of these individuals live in an igloo? ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2007, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-inappropriate-seldom-if-ever-jerkish/419995/6 "2007-09-21T15:45:04Z")
Maybe I just need a stiff drink. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2007, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-inappropriate-seldom-if-ever-jerkish/419995/7 "2007-09-21T16:05:40Z")
[QUOTE=stolichnaya] Maybe I just need a stiff drink. [/QUOTE] No, I get it. **SLK** is comparing Iraq to the Indian wars by telling a joke about whales which is really about dolphins that have hearing problems. What he failed to mention to make this all clearer is that the Dolphin was drinking a Tom Collins. _Now_ do you get it? ---
**Author:** ![stolichnaya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@stolichnaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stolichnaya)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2007, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-inappropriate-seldom-if-ever-jerkish/419995/8 "2007-09-21T16:07:37Z")
[QUOTE=BubbaDog] What he failed to mention to make this all clearer is that the Dolphin was drinking a Tom Collins. _Now_ do you get it? [/QUOTE] Ah! ::scales fall:: ::raises glass to **BubbaDog** :: :: passes out :: ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2007, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-inappropriate-seldom-if-ever-jerkish/419995/9 "2007-09-21T16:11:23Z")
[QUOTE=The Sonoran Lizard King] With reports of cholera in Iraq the news last night and this morning, I mused to compare the Iraqi situation with the US indian wars of the 19th century. That collided with the old saw about the government, trust, indians and whales, and became: Two Americans, one of whom is a Native American, and a dolphin are sitting in a bar when a federal employee of some description walks in. “I’m from the government, and I’m here to help you.” She cheerfully announces. “She looks nice enough, I think we should let her help, it’s what we pay taxes for, It’ll make things better.” Said the american. The indian said “Wanna Bet?” “Hunh? I can hear a fucking thing!” complained the dolphin. [/QUOTE] “Hey,” answered the cheeful government employee, “I can hear fucking too!” Then the non-Indian, not dolphin American announced, “I’m a Mexican-Canadian, why does my American country always get shortshrifted?” And then the whale ate them all. That’s why **The Sonoran Lizard King** took a tab of acid before leaving his porch. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2007, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-inappropriate-seldom-if-ever-jerkish/419995/10 "2007-09-21T16:13:29Z")
The moral of the story is: Kill the whales and dolphins before they give us cholera. And this should give pause to all you sushi freaks. ---
**Author:** ![RedSwinglineOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a9adbd/32.png) [@RedSwinglineOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedSwinglineOne)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2007, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-inappropriate-seldom-if-ever-jerkish/419995/11 "2007-09-21T16:21:43Z")
… and so the magic, hard of hearing dolphin says, “Oh, I thought you wanted a 12-inch pianist…” ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2007, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-inappropriate-seldom-if-ever-jerkish/419995/12 "2007-09-21T16:27:18Z")
Joke threads go in MPSIMS. This OP is so messed up, though, that I’m just gonna close it. Lynn For the Straight Dope