# "Often, when I rush a bowel movement, tactical errors are made." **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 17, 2012, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330 "2012-11-17T17:54:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BobArrgh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobarrgh/32/2881_2.png) [@BobArrgh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobArrgh)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330/21 "2012-11-18T01:58:12Z")
Are you sure it wasn’t “tactile” errors? Perhaps, in the person’s hurry, his or her fingers slipped off the paper and then he or she had to wipe them on the wall. After all, haste pastes waste. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330/22 "2012-11-18T02:21:37Z")
Okay, I can see a ‘code brown’ causing one to run in & start one’s business before checking the TP level once, or not fully sitting down before starting, once. The word that stood out the most to me in that sentence was “Often”. Really? You don’t learn from your mistakes but repeat them time after time? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330/23 "2012-11-18T03:11:07Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Straining too hard and causing tears or fissures to form or increase in the anal mucosa. This can cause heavy bleeding too. > > Straining so hard as to cause a reflex fall in blood pressure and resultant loss of consciousness. > > Inducing a fatal arrhythmia by straining too hard. > > You guys never see the dark side of poor planning/bad tactics for BMs. I do. Qadgop, what is the dark side of being constipated for extended periods? 'Cause after learning the dark side of straining too hard, I’m too damn scared to move. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330/24 "2012-11-18T08:19:42Z")
Failing to accurately identify your target, and dropping a payload on a wedding party or an Afghan National Army company out on patrol.:eek: ---
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330/25 "2012-11-18T14:10:36Z")
This is when close air support really comes in handy. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330/26 "2012-11-18T14:16:43Z")
Air support? Are we talking on air or off air for Rush’s bowel movements? ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330/27 "2012-11-18T14:31:12Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > Qadgop, what is the dark side of being constipated for extended periods? 'Cause after learning the dark side of straining too hard, I’m too damn scared to move. **Megacolon** and **megarectum** would be the two biggest concerns for someone with chronic constipation due to **dyssynergic defecation** or **slow transit**. Fortunately they do not occur very often at all. But when they do, the result is usually removal of colon/rectum and placement of an ostomy. **Irritable bowel syndrome** , another common cause of chronic constipation, does not seem to be associated with complications like **megacolon** and **megarectum** , however. And don’t be too scared to move. Movement after all is 50% of the word **bowel movement**. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bot3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@bot3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bot3)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330/28 "2012-11-18T14:42:02Z")
This thread is so funny I almost sh\*t. Whoa, I gotta run!!! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330/29 "2012-11-18T18:36:23Z")
Is it just me, or does anyone else say “MEGACOLON” like an announcer for a monster truck rally? ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330/30 "2012-11-18T18:41:31Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > **Megacolon** and **megarectum** would be the two biggest concerns for someone with chronic constipation due to **dyssynergic defecation** or **slow transit**. They are also going to be prominently featured in the title of the next Made-for-Syfy TV movie. MEGACOLON vs MEGARECTUM: ONLY ONE WILL SURVIVE. ---
**Author:** ![si\_blakely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@si\_blakely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/si_blakely)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330/31 "2012-11-18T18:44:31Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Straining too hard and causing tears or fissures to form or increase in the anal mucosa. This can cause heavy bleeding too. > > Straining so hard as to cause a reflex fall in blood pressure and resultant loss of consciousness. > > Inducing a fatal arrhythmia by straining too hard. How about rectal prolapse :eek: Si ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330/32 "2012-11-18T19:53:28Z")
> [@JackieLikesVariety](#): > > let’s all remember that oatmeal and fruit are our friends. in so many ways… So you say. But neither one of them remembered my birthday. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330/33 "2012-11-18T20:05:28Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > Selecting a toilet/restroom that would not be one’s first choice under less urgent circumstances. See for example [Trainspotting.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyiC3x6-Kzk) OK, OK, I get that the toilet was a cesspit, and his digging in the bowl afterwards looking for… something… was gross but I assume made sense somehow in context with the movie, but… what was that business at the end of the guy going down the toilet? Huh? > [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > You guys never see the dark side of poor planning/bad tactics for BMs. I do. Ah, but do you have any stories told in an amusing manner to share with us this time? (We haven’t had a good Qadgop story in quite some time!) ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330/34 "2012-11-18T23:07:42Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > **Megacolon** and **megarectum** would be the two biggest concerns for someone with chronic constipation due to **dyssynergic defecation** or **slow transit**. Fortunately they do not occur very often at all. But when they do, the result is usually removal of colon/rectum and placement of an ostomy. > > **Irritable bowel syndrome** , another common cause of chronic constipation, does not seem to be associated with complications like **megacolon** and **megarectum** , however. > > And don’t be too scared to move. Movement after all is 50% of the word **bowel movement**. 😃 In fact, I’ve found that if I get enough fiber and enough movement, things will progress much more smoothly for the most part. As long as I don’t eat any trigger foods, that is. This is one of the reasons why I hop on my Cardio Cruiser at least every other day if I haven’t had any other sort of exercise lately. It’s boring, but I’d rather spend the time on the exercise machine than spend it on the throne, wondering if this is what Elvis felt just before he left the [del]building[/del] planet. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330/35 "2012-11-18T23:23:28Z")
Coincidentally, shortly after posting in this thread I was gripped by gut craps. I now feel much lighter and think I dropped a pants size. Technically, I think it counts as an ambush but I triumphed in the end. 'Twas not that I rushed the bowel movement, but that the onset of moving bowels rushed me to the toilet. I am happy to report I reached my destination before the guest arrived. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330/36 "2012-11-18T23:59:25Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Ah, but do you have any stories told in an amusing manner to share with us this time? (We haven’t had a good Qadgop story in quite some time!) Sorry, got tired of defending myself against charges from fellow dopers of having committed HIPAA violations every time I told a medical anecdote. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330/37 "2012-11-19T00:09:17Z")
Well, _poo_, they’re a bunch of spoilsports! ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330/38 "2012-11-19T01:19:03Z")
> [@BobArrgh](#): > > Are you sure it wasn’t “tactile” errors? Perhaps, in the person’s hurry, his or her fingers slipped off the paper and then he or she had to wipe them on the wall. Or possibly “testicle errors”—from zipping up too quickly? ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330/39 "2012-11-19T05:01:51Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > Sorry, got tired of defending myself against charges from fellow dopers of having committed HIPAA violations every time I told a medical anecdote. ☹ THAT sucks. > [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Or possibly “testicle errors”—from zipping up too quickly? My husband once zipped himself up without tucking first. No testicles involved, but he did lose some tissue from the head that rules his actions. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330/40 "2012-11-19T05:23:47Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > MEGACOLON vs MEGARECTUM: ONLY ONE WILL SURVIVE. Sunday, Sunday, Sunday! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/often-when-i-rush-a-bowel-movement-tactical-errors-are-made/641330.md?page=3)