# Oh beautiful, beautiful meltdown **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 24, 2008, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306 "2008-10-24T04:37:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Roonwit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/54ee81/32.png) [@Roonwit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roonwit)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306/101 "2008-10-25T08:03:55Z")
> [@Algher](#): > > It will be a year of slaughter, I hope. > > Algher’s Open Letter to the RNC, et al. Best read thinking of Senator Blutarsky. > > Assholes: > > I hope you enjoyed the ass-raping we just had. I wanted to take this opportunity to communicate with the few of you dickheads left at the home office. By now the worthless leeches have left the building to try to join the other side, and I hope that a few of you are hanging from the ceiling, having taken the honorable way out. > > Never mind, you fucks have not had any honor in years. > > Remember when we stood for getting the Feds off of our backs? > Remember when we fought the commies, and said that our military was for protecting America - not for being a cop? > Remember when we just wanted local communities to manage things, not Washington? > Remember when we said that we wanted to put money back in the working man’s pocket? > > Yeah, I thought so. You idiots don’t remember ANY of that, you never stood for it. Those were just words you used to get the support of people like me. > > No more. > > If you think we are going to retake Congress and the White House, it is going to be with a new team. I will not support ANY Republican outreach where a single person has ties to the Bush mess. Either clean house, or you won’t get shit until all of you die a natural or unnatural death. > > Go away. Get a “visiting dumbshit” post over at Heritage. Leave. Write a craptastic book that I can purchase from the remainder table and burn on my next camping trip. You don’t belong in my party, you never believed in the ideals of my party, and the best way for my party to return is to cut out the cancer that you represent. > > Regards, > > Algher Could you make that ‘Algher and Roonwit’? I’d write my own, but damn, what else would I say? I’m also a Deserted Republican. Actually, I used to be a libertarian, until someone told me that my vote didn’t count and I should choose an evil, so I chose the Republicans, because they said they were all about smaller government and shit, and I was naive enough to believe it. Then Jesus told Bush he ought to spread the Gospel - through force, if necessary - and he in turn told me that if I didn’t like it I could just shut the fuck up and empty my suitcase on the table, and … Well, fuck that. I’m voting for Obama. (Yeah I know, that’s a bit oversimplified. Still…) I join **Algher** in shaking hands with our friends from across the aisle, and in the sincere hope that history will prove that this is the Right Thing To Do. I believe that there are more like us than you might imagine. And in the interest of bipartisanship, you might find [this article](http://www.cracked.com/article_15759_10-things-christians-atheists-can-must-agree-on.html) (by David Wong at Cracked) interesting. It was written for Christians and atheists, but most of it applies to the right and left as well. Here’s to change for the better. I’ll have a scotch and soda, please. On preview: Wait, there’s weed?? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306/102 "2008-10-25T08:19:05Z")
Silver lining time (as if it needed it…) This could be the best propaganda ever. If we want to make a case for democracy, this is the way to do it. Democraticly ruled people can do things other people can’t, and that is to change our minds and, by so doing, change our world. If the Goddess shall cease to avert Her eyes, and Obama be elected, billions of people will talk about it the next day, billions of people will look and say “Wow! Fuckin’ Americans! Don’t like it, they can just _remove_ the assholes, Adios, Motherfuckers! Pretty far out!” And if they can do the same, they’ll be glad we did, and if they can’t, they’ll start to thinking about how cool it would be if they could. And the ghost of Tom Paine will smile… ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306/103 "2008-10-25T13:04:38Z")
> [@Measure\_for\_Measure](#): > > …or approval voting. Or anything other than plurality voting, AFAIK. Pure PR systems give too much power to small squirrely, single-issue parties, who need to be bribed in order to join the wider coalition. Witness Israel and Italy. Not to mention those whose beliefs don’t gel with _any_ party, much less the major ones, or those who don’t have a problem with the party’s platforms but rather the representatives slated to fill those slots. ---
**Author:** ![BJMoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@BJMoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BJMoose)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306/104 "2008-10-25T13:37:48Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Outside of the obligatory and traditional gloating and lording it over, I expect to be the very model of graciousness and magnanimity. Anyone know how you masturbate like a motherfuck with grace? Excuse my backtracking, but I don’t think this question was ever properly answered, and it’s not the sort of thing that should be left hanging. . . . The proper way to masterbate gracefully is to wear a white glove whilst doing so. I’m sure Emily Post covered this somewhere. Anyway. Won’t suprise me a bit if that twit Palin runs for prez in '12. And she’ll sink beneath the waves faster than Danny Boy did back in '96. While gloating is unseemly, it isn’t one of the Seven Deadly, and I won’t get upset if some folks feel compelled to point and giggle at Republican dipsticks. Hell, they’ve been doing that since '80; and comeuppance is golden. Stray thought: if the racists weren’t mindlessly voting for McCain, would this election be a blowout? ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306/105 "2008-10-25T14:51:36Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > If the Goddess shall cease to avert Her eyes, and Obama be elected, billions of people will talk about it the next day, billions of people will look and say “Wow! Fuckin’ Americans! Don’t like it, they can just _remove_ the assholes, Adios, Motherfuckers! Pretty far out!” Yes, democracy is a mystery to those living outside the United States. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306/106 "2008-10-25T15:23:13Z")
> [@BJMoose](#): > > …Stray thought: if the racists weren’t mindlessly voting for McCain, would this election be a blowout? With poll numbers as they are, it looks as if there coulb be a blowout even if racists DO mindlessly vote for McCain. Actually though, I would have to disagree with calling it a mindless vote. The GOP has made it pretty clear they are welcoming racists and bogots of many stripes, so voting for McCain is a raational thing to do to further a racist agenda. ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306/107 "2008-10-25T15:53:18Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > The GOP has made it pretty clear they are welcoming racists and bogots of many stripes, so voting for McCain is a raational thing to do to further a racist agenda. No, it isn’t rational in the least. McCain would never embrace any policies of any kind that would make racists happy. And I heartily disagree that the GOP is “welcoming” racists and bigots. The worst you could say is that sometimes bigots are tolerated, or ignored. But “welcomed” … come on. That kind of hyperbole is just really nasty. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306/108 "2008-10-25T16:34:46Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > No, it isn’t rational in the least. McCain would never embrace any policies of any kind that would make racists happy. > > And I heartily disagree that the GOP is “welcoming” racists and bigots. The worst you could say is that sometimes bigots are tolerated, or ignored. But “welcomed” … come on. That kind of hyperbole is just really nasty. It’s not hyperbole. Haven’t you heard Republican operative and even elected officials talking about “Real America”? Haven’t you heard them for years now slandering anyone who disagrees with them as “terrorist sympathisers”? Didn’t you hear Johnnie Mac himself respond to a woman who claimed Obama was a Muslim by saying, “No, he’s a decent family man”? As if the two are mutually exclusive. he GOP is absolutely counting on people with irrational prejudices to come out and support Pub candidates. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306/109 "2008-10-25T16:59:20Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > With poll numbers as they are, it looks as if there coulb be a blowout even if racists DO mindlessly vote for McCain. Here’s a theory I’ve been considering. And forgive me if it’s been posted elsewhere. I haven’t seen it. I’m thinking that there may be a certain number of people out there who aren’t willing to vote for a black man, but, with the way things are going, can’t really bring themselves to vote for McCain either. So one of two things might happen: 1. They’re gong to abstain, even though they know that will probably help Obama. 2. They’re not going to admit to themselves that they’re going to abstain because they know that will probably help Obama. So they will somehow find an excuse or “emergency” that causes them to not make it to the polling place on election day, resulting in a de facto abstention. I’d think that #1 could be measured, but #2 would be harder to quantify, because #2 depends on people deluding themselves to a certain degree. > [@BJMoose](#): > > The proper way to masterbate gracefully is to wear a white glove whilst doing so. I’m sure Emily Post covered this somewhere. You forgot something: Everybody is required to maintain the polite fiction that the person in question is not, in fact, masturbating. Therefore, yelling “Woo Hoo! I’m masturbating like a motherfuck!” is the epitome of gauche. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306/110 "2008-10-25T17:06:39Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Yes, democracy is a mystery to those living outside the United States. Sush you before I get someone to melt your parliament’s igloo. (seriously though there are lots of countries without democracy, and our politics tends to make the news alot more then yours does.) ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306/111 "2008-10-25T17:15:16Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > It’s not hyperbole. Haven’t you heard Republican operative and even elected officials talking about “Real America”? Haven’t you heard them for years now slandering anyone who disagrees with them as “terrorist sympathisers”? Didn’t you hear Johnnie Mac himself respond to a woman who claimed Obama was a Muslim by saying, “No, he’s a decent family man”? As if the two are mutually exclusive. > > he GOP is absolutely counting on people with irrational prejudices to come out and support Pub candidates. Of course I’ve heard all those things. “Irrational prejudices” regarding socialism and patriotism (or lack thereof) do not necessarily equal racism. So the “welcoming racists” comment remains hyperbole at best, and quite offensive regardless. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306/112 "2008-10-25T17:26:23Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > Of course I’ve heard all those things. > > “Irrational prejudices” regarding socialism and patriotism (or lack thereof) do not necessarily equal racism. > > So the “welcoming racists” comment remains hyperbole at best, and quite offensive regardless. Well, how about Muslims? And I said “racists and bigots”, not just racists. You don’t have to be a racist or bigot to vote for McCain, but it helps! Now, THAT was hyperbole! ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306/113 "2008-10-25T17:45:45Z")
In yet more melty goodness, [this Politico article](http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1008/14929.html) is pointing out yet another batch of friction on the Straight Off The Side Of The Cliff Express–looks like Caribou Barbie is getting all mavericky on her own: > [@](#): > > Even as John McCain and Sarah Palin scramble to close the gap in the final days of the 2008 election, stirrings of a Palin insurgency are complicating the campaign’s already-tense internal dynamics. > > Four Republicans close to Palin said she has decided increasingly to disregard the advice of the former Bush aides tasked to handle her, creating occasionally tense situations as she travels the country with them. Those Palin supporters, inside the campaign and out, said Palin blames her handlers for a botched rollout and a tarnished public image — even as others in McCain’s camp blame the pick of the relatively inexperienced Alaska governor, and her public performance, for McCain’s decline. > > “She’s lost confidence in most of the people on the plane,” said a senior Republican who speaks to Palin, referring to her campaign jet. He said Palin had begun to “go rogue” in some of her public pronouncements and decisions. > > “I think she’d like to go more rogue,” he said. > > The emergence of a Palin faction comes as Republicans gird for a battle over the future of their party: Some see her as a charismatic, hawkish conservative leader with the potential, still unrealized, to cross over to attract moderate voters. Anger among Republicans who see Palin as a star and as a potential future leader has boiled over because, they say, they see other senior McCain aides preparing to blame her in the event he is defeated. > > “These people are going to try and shred her after the campaign to divert blame from themselves,” a McCain insider said, referring to McCain’s chief strategist, Steve Schmidt, and to Nicolle Wallace, a former Bush aide who has taken a lead role in Palin’s campaign. Palin’s partisans blame Wallace, in particular, for Palin’s avoiding of the media for days and then giving a high-stakes interview to CBS News’ Katie Couric, whose sometimes painful content the campaign allowed to be parceled out over a week. > > “A number of Gov. Palin’s staff have not had her best interests at heart, and they have not had the campaign’s best interests at heart,” the McCain insider fumed, noting that Wallace left an executive job at CBS to join the campaign. > > Wallace declined to engage publicly in the finger-pointing that has consumed the campaign in the final weeks. > > “I am in awe of [Palin’s] strength under constant fire by the media,” she said in an e-mail. “If someone wants to throw me under the bus, my personal belief is that the most graceful thing to do is to lie there.” > > But other McCain aides, defending Wallace, dismissed the notion that Palin was mishandled. The Alaska governor was, they argue, simply unready — “green,” sloppy and incomprehensibly willing to criticize McCain for, for instance, not attacking Sen. Barack Obama for his relationship with his former pastor, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright. Implosion continues unabated. I have to say that the staffers are really behaving badly, no grace under fire, no stiff upper lip, no going down with the ship–it’s every asshole for him/herself on that bus. Tacky, really, no dignity. To all the betrayed Republicans, I must say I feel your pain. It’s never fun to watch people you’ve trusted and given money to and believed had your best interests at heart reveal themselves as the petty, venal, fingerpointers they really are. Oh, and for all you sexist bastards out there–for your information wearing white gloves while masturbating is about the most horrifying thing I could think of for a chick. Think of the abrasion! Think of all the lubrication being absorbed by the fabric! THINK OF THE MESS! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306/114 "2008-10-25T18:18:24Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > … > Oh, and for all you sexist bastards out there–for your information wearing white gloves while masturbating is about the most horrifying thing I could think of for a chick. Think of the abrasion! Think of all the lubrication being absorbed by the fabric! THINK OF THE MESS! :eek: Latex gloves wouldn’t absorb. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306/115 "2008-10-25T18:26:22Z")
> [@](#): > > Even as John McCain and Sarah Palin scramble to close the gap in the final days of the 2008 election, stirrings of a Palin insurgency are complicating the campaign’s already-tense internal dynamics. > > Four Republicans close to Palin said she has decided increasingly to disregard the advice of the former Bush aides tasked to handle her, creating occasionally tense situations as she travels the country with them. Those Palin supporters, inside the campaign and out, said Palin blames her handlers for a botched rollout and a tarnished public image — even as others in McCain’s camp blame the pick of the relatively inexperienced Alaska governor, and her public performance, for McCain’s decline. > > “She’s lost confidence in most of the people on the plane,” said a senior Republican who speaks to Palin, referring to her campaign jet. He said Palin had begun to “go rogue” in some of her public pronouncements and decisions. Hell of it is, she’s right. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306/116 "2008-10-25T18:37:06Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Hell of it is, she’s right. I dunno. You can hardly blame her handlers for trying to keep her away from the press. I mean. you ask her a question like “Which newspapers and magazines do you read?”, and she replies “All of them.” ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306/117 "2008-10-25T18:43:15Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Latex gloves wouldn’t absorb. Oh yeah, that’s better–make it feel JUST like a visit to the gynecologist! Yeah, that’s how we guarantee a real knee trembler of an orgasm… _shudder_ :eek: ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306/118 "2008-10-25T18:45:28Z")
> [@BJMoose](#): > > Stray thought: if the racists weren’t mindlessly voting for McCain, would this election be a blowout? Even the race thing isn’t working out for McCain, apparently. Obama is getting more white support than any Democratic running for president in the past 30 years, according to a recent poll. > **[White Support For Obama At Historic Level](http://www.cbsnews.com/news/white-support-for-obama-at-historic-level/?index=1)** > > Politico: Polls Suggest Democratic Nominee Poised To Win Larger Share Of White Vote Than Any Democrat Since 1976 ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306/119 "2008-10-25T18:49:15Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > Oh yeah, that’s better–make it feel JUST like a visit to the gynecologist! Yeah, that’s how we guarantee a real knee trembler of an orgasm… _shudder_ :eek: Just dunk your whole latex-gloved hand up to the wrist in a tub of vaseline and everything will be fine. I do it 3 or 4 times a day. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SmartAleq](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smartaleq/32/163_2.png) [@SmartAleq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAleq)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2008, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306/120 "2008-10-25T18:57:32Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Just dunk your whole latex-gloved hand up to the wrist in a tub of vaseline and everything will be fine. I do it 3 or 4 times a day. 🙂 Oh gods, now I’m channeling Malcolm McDowell in “Caligula.” All I have to say, you sadistic fuck, is that karma is real and I’m gonna laugh when you get yours! _Now where did I put that Brain Bleach?_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-beautiful-beautiful-meltdown/469306.md?page=7)