# Oh boy: children, flutes, semen **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 1, 2017, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714 "2017-10-01T12:54:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2017, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/21 "2017-10-02T07:33:36Z")
_What_ kind of flutes now? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2017, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/22 "2017-10-02T11:47:57Z")
No way to work “tromboner” into a comment, is there? ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2017, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/23 "2017-10-02T12:06:31Z")
O.P. here. [This article](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/education/wp/2017/10/01/semen-contaminated-flutes-might-have-been-given-to-children-california-school-officials-warn/?tid=sm_tw&utm_term=.9985aeb517c0) has a photo of the “flutes”. They are made from PVC pipe. Maybe we’ll get some facts today (Monday). So far nobody is saying that anything positively happened, or why it’s suspected that it did. One newspaper claimed that “thousands” of children were possibly affected. The children are in grades 4-6, so 9-12 years old. One news article said that the flutes were painted by the children. To me, the flutes look too uniform for that to be true. If it is true, then the paint would’ve covered anything already on the flute. Otherwise, surely any semen had dried and was harmless, if gross. I’m pretty sure that kids that age would protest if given a wet sticky flute. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2017, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/24 "2017-10-02T12:11:03Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Tell that to the kids who will be living with this in their memories of childhood for the rest of their lives. Lets see how your ass would react if he came all over your keyboard. > > This criminal committed a sex act against children. No sane human could even conceive of this. If not already, he will want his semen inside kids. He is a predator. Guess what: there’s pee on bathroom doorknobs. :eek: Not from perverts, but from people who simply don’t bother to wash their hands after peeing. The man-made word is awash in our skin cells, dandruff, sweat, urine, semen, vaginal secretions, hair, parasitic bacteria, etc. Always has been and always will be. The outrage over the semen itself is simply ignorant eeeww-paranoia / germ paranoia run rampant. You \*may \*have a point that this weird act may be a sign of a pedophile with control problems. Which ought to be properly, not hysterically, investigated. If the guy does have pedo problems he probably shouldn’t be working with children. Plenty of people have sexual perversions that have nothing to do with kids but do have something to do with leaving their mark on the world. You’ve almost certainly interacted with one. Or his (usually his) residue. In other breaking news dogs pee on bushes. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2017, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/25 "2017-10-02T12:21:53Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Where flutes go, treble follows. Watch out for the sax and violins. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2017, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/26 "2017-10-02T14:42:35Z")
> [@Lucas\_Jackson](#): > > It’s all about that bass… All your bass are belong to us. ---
**Author:** ![Kelevra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/97f17d/32.png) [@Kelevra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kelevra)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2017, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/27 "2017-10-02T15:00:51Z")
> [@ioioio](#): > > It amazes me that people can still find new ways to be perverse and disgusting. You should read [_Choke_ by Chuck Palahniuk](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000QCS9NM/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1). I would never lick an envelope from an ATM… Also, Choke was written in 2002. These ideas aren’t new. ---
**Author:** ![Trafalgar\_Laura](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trafalgar_laura/32/2907_2.png) [@Trafalgar\_Laura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trafalgar_Laura)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2017, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/28 "2017-10-02T15:28:01Z")
Is there no danger the kids could get some sort of disease from the culprit if they wound up ingesting the semen? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2017, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/29 "2017-10-02T19:20:28Z")
Are they worried the kids will start playing Herbie Mann on their flutes? No, wait. That’s JAZZ music. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2017, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/30 "2017-10-02T19:22:56Z")
I have seen how people use ultraviolet light to look for human fluids in hotel rooms on say carpet or bedding. Would an ultraviolet light see something on the flute? ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2017, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/31 "2017-10-02T20:13:28Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Guess what: there’s pee on bathroom doorknobs. :eek: > > Not from perverts, but from people who simply don’t bother to wash their hands after peeing. > > The man-made word is awash in our skin cells, dandruff, sweat, urine, semen, vaginal secretions, hair, parasitic bacteria, etc. Always has been and always will be. > > The outrage over the semen itself is simply ignorant eeeww-paranoia / germ paranoia run rampant. > You \*may \*have a point that this weird act may be a sign of a pedophile with control problems. Which ought to be properly, not hysterically, investigated. If the guy does have pedo problems he probably shouldn’t be working with children. > > Plenty of people have sexual perversions that have nothing to do with kids but do have something to do with leaving their mark on the world. You’ve almost certainly interacted with one. Or his (usually his) residue. In other breaking news dogs pee on bushes. This isn’t about ick. Its about a man who targets children under cover of charity. This guy is dangerous. But unusual sex crimes seem to get more giggles and naysaying than appropriate attention. And this who is the victim nonsense is bullshit. The same questions can be asked of upskirt pic takers and guys who hide cams where people are vulnerable. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2017, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/32 "2017-10-02T21:07:29Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > This criminal committed a sex act against children. No sane human could even conceive of this. If not already, he will want his semen inside kids. He is a predator. So are you advocating the “special exception death penalty” because of what he’s _going to do_? or because he’s mentally ill? Or are you just engaging in hyperbole (+ speculation)? ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2017, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/33 "2017-10-02T21:23:55Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > So are you advocating the “special exception death penalty” because of what he’s _going to do_? or because he’s mentally ill? > > Or are you just engaging in hyperbole (+ speculation)? Ok hyperbole. Like I mentioned earlier, this is a crime committed against victims who are at their most vulnerable. They will likely be scarred by this for life. This criminal attacks society at its weakest link. I suppose I was trying to say that we would all be better off without him in our presence. Exile would suffice. ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2017, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/34 "2017-10-02T21:47:38Z")
> [@ioioio](#): > > One newspaper claimed that “thousands” of children were possibly affected. The children are in grades 4-6, so 9-12 years old. Some kids in that age range can actually produce semen. So how do we know the stuff isn’t from some of them? Perhaps lots of them if this has been going on for years (the only way to get thousands of them exposed). Possibly the room they store the instuments in is also a convenient place for the kids to relieve their urges. Maybe we should be teaching the kids about safe sax… ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2017, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/35 "2017-10-03T05:59:45Z")
> [@dtilque](#): > > Maybe we should be teaching the kids about safe sax… That would be note-worthy. ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2017, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/36 "2017-10-03T06:37:46Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > That would be note-worthy. The kids are doing solos on the trom-bone… ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2017, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/37 "2017-10-03T09:12:17Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > Ok hyperbole. Like I mentioned earlier, this is a crime committed against victims who are at their most vulnerable. They will likely be scarred by this for life. This criminal attacks society at its weakest link. I suppose I was trying to say that we would all be better off without him in our presence. Exile would suffice. Would they have been scarred for life if nobody ever discovered the flutes were tainted, or had never said anything about it to anybody? Wouldn’t we all be better off if the authorities and media just shut up about such trivial nonsense? How does the media get these stories, anyway? ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2017, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/38 "2017-10-16T20:07:08Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > Would they have been scarred for life if nobody ever discovered the flutes were tainted, or had never said anything about it to anybody? Wouldn’t we all be better off if the authorities and media just shut up about such trivial nonsense? How does the media get these stories, anyway? Yeah, they should never have disseminated that fact. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2017, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/39 "2017-10-17T17:43:12Z")
There have been no updates to this story for over two weeks, and much was left unexplained. I suspect the whole thing was a one-crazy-person event. But the press should have the decency to follow up and admit they overreacted. A man and an organization were adversely affected by the hoopla, perhaps unfairly; it’s really difficult to find a solid piece of truth among the news stories. ---
**Author:** ![somepumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@somepumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/somepumpkin)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2017, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/40 "2017-10-17T17:45:12Z")
The entire story smells of horseshit, actually. I keep expecting it to be updated as such, here on this site. I do not expect the media to say that, though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714.md?page=3)