# Oh boy: children, flutes, semen **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 1, 2017, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714 "2017-10-01T12:54:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2017, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/41 "2017-10-17T18:09:23Z")
> [@Kelevra](#): > > You should read [_Choke_ by Chuck Palahniuk](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000QCS9NM/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1). > > I would never lick an envelope from an ATM… > > Also, Choke was written in 2002. These ideas aren’t new. And made into a movie a few years later. A very nicely done movie that is terribly underrated. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2017, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/42 "2017-10-18T21:32:57Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > Yeah, they should never have disseminated that fact. Well played! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2017, 11:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/43 "2017-10-19T11:17:26Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > Well played! Eeeeewww. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2017, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/44 "2017-10-19T12:39:20Z")
> [@somepumpkin](#): > > The entire story smells of horseshit, actually. I keep expecting it to be updated as such, here on this site. I do not expect the media to say that, though. _ **The Washington Post** _ _Democracy Dies in Darkness_ **”JIZZ FLUTES” STORY SMELLS OF HORSESHIT** ---
**Author:** ![Teuton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/teuton/32/3864_2.png) [@Teuton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teuton)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2017, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/45 "2017-10-20T17:07:08Z")
Those opening quotes make my soul hurt. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2017, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/46 "2017-10-20T17:32:47Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > Well played! This one was better. > [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > Are they worried the kids will start playing Herbie Mann on their flutes? No, wait. That’s JAZZ music. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![somepumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@somepumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/somepumpkin)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2017, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/47 "2017-10-20T17:47:33Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > _ **The Washington Post** _ > _Democracy Dies in Darkness_ > **”JIZZ FLUTES” STORY SMELLS OF HORSESHIT** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e8c25b/32.png) [@excavating\_for\_a\_mind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/excavating_for_a_mind)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2017, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/48 "2017-10-21T22:52:35Z")
From the start of this thread, I just assumed that some parent looked at one of the flutes under a black light. Of course, due to shows like CSI on TV, the parent knew that semen would fluoresce under black light, which was assumed to mean, of course, semen is the only fluid that will fluoresce under black light. I really doubt any children were harmed in the making of the instruments in question, unless you want to consider the damage done by irrational and ignorant adults. And, no, I would not expect any follow-up by a news organization since the only story would be “I guess we jumped the gun on that one, huh?” ---
**Author:** ![CelticKnot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/celticknot/32/3392_2.png) [@CelticKnot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CelticKnot)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2017, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/49 "2017-10-21T23:07:12Z")
My husband pointed out that a man who could do that to a flute must have a very small baton… ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2017, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/50 "2017-10-22T04:16:44Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > I’m not getting the humor here. I think it was Mel Brooks who said, “Tragedy is when I fall and break my leg. Comedy is when YOU fall and break YOUR leg.” But he’s not a nice person. Neither am I. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2017, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/51 "2017-10-22T04:30:24Z")
> [@dropzone](#): > > I think it was Mel Brooks who said, “Tragedy is when I fall and break my leg. Comedy is when YOU fall and break YOUR leg.” But he’s not a nice person. Neither am I. “Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall in an open sewer and die.” ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2017, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/52 "2017-10-22T04:32:35Z")
I’ve heard it both ways. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2017, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714/53 "2017-10-22T07:47:56Z")
“This world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel.” – Horace Walpole [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-children-flutes-semen/797714.md?page=2)