# Oh, boy !! The scorpions and wasps are back !! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 10, 2015, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303 "2015-04-10T05:29:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![stanger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@stanger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stanger)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303/1 "2015-04-10T05:29:32Z")
Well, it is officially spring here in central Texas. The signs are everywhere – birds are chirping loudly with their mating carcophony, the seasonal April showers are starting their march across the plains as they move West to East, and the men-folk are out decimating their yards with the raucous racket of nap-disturbing lawn tractors. Oh, and the angry red wasps and wandering scorpions have made their triumphant spring appearance. The red wasps first showed up a little over a week ago. Working in my shop all day, I had just started to enjoy less-than-chilly wind coming through the open door, but after only a day or two of welcome cool spring breezes and temperatures, the red wasps started flocking inside to dive-bomb my face and head and bang themselves against the fluorescent light tubes. Incensed and angry at being waved away from your face, they go into attack mode and surprise you with random sneak attacks from among the roof rafters. Closing the door slows their migration to a trickle, but some always find their way in. They also sit and wait in the trees until I go outside to spray-paint or wash parts, so that is always fun. There is a reason why I keep plenty of brake parts cleaner around the shop. And tonight, just a few minutes ago, I saw my first scorpion inside the house. I had just gotten up from my chair here at the computer, stepped to the doorway, and looked down at the floor under the chair where my feet were only seconds before. And there, walking around with its tail and stinger curved up into the air in full warrior mode, was a fair-sized golden scorpion, slowly walking towards me. At least until my shoe put an end to his tail-waving crawl across my floor. I must say, he did make a most pleasant and satisfying _crunch_ under my shoe. I sighed wearily as I knew that this was just the beginning of an almost nightly ritual for the next six or seven months. As if to further prove to me that this year is likely to provide a fruitful and bountiful crop of nasty of mini-monsters, I step out into the hall, turn on the overhead light, and am immediately rewardedwith the scurrying of another scorpion just a couple of feet away as it made its way from under the air conditioning/heater closet. Another application of extremely prejudice blunt trama, and the second soldier in the 2015 scorpion army met his fate with the same shoe. There is no force on earth that can prevent this yearly invasion. No extermination technique can do sufficient damage to the stout constitution of the common scorpion to keep it from running about the house before succumbing to the poisons. No house is sufficiently sealed to prevent their incursion from without. They come through the cracks around the doors, they make their way around screens at open windows, they drop from the ceiling after climbing the outside walls and trekking across the attic to a handy slit around a light fixture or ceiling fan. They come in greater numbers when it gets excessively wet outside or excessively dry, which pretty much sums up the normal weather situation here year-round. They tend to wait for you in the middle of the floor in the kitchen and bathrooms, and it is always a thrill to find one when you step into the shower. They love scooting across the living room floor, their tiny bodies silhouetted against the glow from the TV. I have develeoped a sixth-sense about the presence of these unwanted visitors and usually seem to know where and when to look to find them as I walk about the house. But that wasn’t always the case. Four times I have had one in bed with me – twice feeling them as they walked across my pillow and brushed against my nose. I tell you here and now – that will bring you out of a twilight sleep quicker than anything you can imagine. Yeah, a scorpion sting hurts like a sonofabitch, and it could be worse, but I just really, really hate the damn bastards. Scorpions only eat what they kill, so there isn’t really much to hunt in the house, so I figure they are just seeking shelter. But – dammit – they belong under a rock, not in my house. There is plenty of splendid places for them to forage and live their scorpy lives besides my baseboards and patio door tracks. I generally have a live-and-let-live attitude about the critters and wildlife around here, but I posit an exception in the case of scorpions. ALL SCORPIONS MUST DIE !!! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Vorlon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303/2 "2015-04-10T14:11:14Z")
Nuke them from orbit, it is the only way to be certain… ---
**Author:** ![DummyGladHands](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/49beb7/32.png) [@DummyGladHands](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DummyGladHands)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303/3 "2015-04-10T14:29:00Z")
Just waiting for the first one to show up at Casa DGH. Rubber mallets all over the house await. Fucking miserable things. If I did believe in og, I’d sure as hell as him why. ---
**Author:** ![SaharaTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303/4 "2015-04-10T14:32:52Z")
> [@stanger](#): > > Four times I have had one in bed with me – twice feeling them as they walked across my pillow and brushed against my nose. > I tell you here and now – that will bring you out of a twilight sleep quicker than anything you can imagine. This is the most horrible thing I’ve ever heard. ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303/5 "2015-04-10T14:41:08Z")
As a child I went to church camp in central Texas, where we slept in wooden structures that were open on the sides except for short 3’ walls. Tarps were kept rolled up like shades until it rained; then they were unrolled. When unrolled, scorpions would drop out on the floor and on the beds. Someone always got bitten, and once a camp counselor had to be taken to the hospital (she was allergic to the sting). Lots of seasoned campers, myself included, would start crying whenever the first drops of rain fell. We knew bedtime was going to be a nightmare. I could hardly keep my eyes on the page when you wrote about having them in bed with you. You have my deepest sympathy. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303/6 "2015-04-10T16:14:33Z")
Scorpions, aggressive wasps, Rick Perry - _why_ do you live in Texas, again? ---
**Author:** ![Lorene89095](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@Lorene89095](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lorene89095)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303/7 "2015-04-10T19:41:04Z")
Not kidding,have meat tenderizer on hand. When stung,make a paste if it and a drop or 2 of water. Apply to the sting. I’ve not found anything better… ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303/8 "2015-04-10T20:10:36Z")
You have my sympathies. Really and truly. Would a nice hand vac also help? Extension wand works on both the flying and the crawling “friends”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Scoobysnax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Scoobysnax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scoobysnax)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303/9 "2015-04-10T20:25:11Z")
> [@Lorene89095](#): > > Not kidding,have meat tenderizer on hand. When stung,make a paste if it and a drop or 2 of water. Apply to the sting. I’ve not found anything better… When I first read this I pictured one of [these](http://www.amazon.com/Heavy-Duty-Tenderizer-Mallet-Double-sided-Commercial-Grade/dp/B000YDBZCA) and you making a paste of the shattered remains of the scorpion. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Lorene89095](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@Lorene89095](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lorene89095)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303/10 "2015-04-10T20:32:07Z")
My lack of writing skills,let me show you. ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303/11 "2015-04-10T20:50:40Z")
This is why I live in Sweden. ---
**Author:** ![MrSquishy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9e5f3/32.png) [@MrSquishy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrSquishy)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303/12 "2015-04-10T21:00:47Z")
Remind me never to move to Texas. Amended: remind me never to **go** to Texas. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2015, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303/13 "2015-04-10T21:01:12Z")
You have scorpions, today where I live it snowed. On the whole, I think I prefer snow. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2015, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303/14 "2015-04-11T00:27:55Z")
[Ask the President for help.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmWFrMq3qNY&feature=player_detailpage#t=1230) ---
**Author:** ![Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cabin_fever_1/32/2908_2.png) [@Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabin_Fever_1)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2015, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303/15 "2015-04-11T18:42:54Z")
> [@Lorene89095](#): > > My lack of writing skills,let me show you. As an ex-patriot Texan from Houston/Arizona I do feel your pain. But Lorene’s response just made me wonder about that BBQ pit out back and what is cooking back there. Never had BBQ’d scorpion but it might be interesting just to squig the the gandkids out. Oh, yeah I’ll take that cold one…Thank you very much. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cabin_fever_1/32/2908_2.png) [@Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabin_Fever_1)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2015, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303/16 "2015-04-11T18:54:13Z")
> [@stanger](#): > > Well, it is officially spring here in central Texas. > > \*\*Oh, and the angry red wasps \*\*and wandering scorpions have made their triumphant spring appearance. > > ALL SCORPIONS MUST DIE !!! Snipped and bolded your post for brevity, You wouldn’t happen to be west of Austin perhaps? Because I used to live there. Scorpions I could deal with. Angry red wasps? Picture a dude with a 50-foot spray can of RAID fighting the Battle of the Century. I am lucky that I am still alive. ---
**Author:** ![Lorene89095](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@Lorene89095](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lorene89095)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2015, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303/17 "2015-04-11T19:35:37Z")
Funny thing,Yellow Jackets I can deal with. I get too close to the nest,they hover in front of my face,I turn and walk away… No muss,no fuss… Red wasps on the other had go into attack mode if you’re 30 feet away from the nest!!! Scorpions eat pill bugs… if you can get rid of them the scorpions should leave ---
**Author:** ![Lightlystarched](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Lightlystarched](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightlystarched)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2015, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303/18 "2015-04-11T20:18:09Z")
Chickens. Can you keep a couple of chickens around the house? They love to eat scorpions. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2015, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303/19 "2015-04-11T21:13:55Z")
The OP is sick of the 'Mopoda swarming, then? ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2015, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303/20 "2015-04-11T21:18:30Z")
> [@amanset](#): > > This is why I live in Sweden. So Sweden is bug-free? If so, do you actually have a summer? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-boy-the-scorpions-and-wasps-are-back/717303.md?page=2)