# Oh come on!! No doctor on the planet has ever said that!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 6, 2009, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-come-on-no-doctor-on-the-planet-has-ever-said-that/512770 "2009-10-06T03:01:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 3\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2010, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-come-on-no-doctor-on-the-planet-has-ever-said-that/512770/21 "2010-05-09T17:59:41Z")
True story. I was in my late 20’s and living in Berlin. I was used to the fact that everyone who spoke a bit of English wanted to practice on me. So, I had gone to a doctor for a check up - was having some odd symptoms - and went back for my check up. He always enjoyed speaking to me in English. Sitting with the doctor, he said, “You have cancer.” I was shocked - and suddenly the phone rang and the doctor answered and spoke a few minutes as I sat there and let this news sink in. Then the doctor hung up the phone and turned to me and said, “I was just kidding. You’re fine. Take these pills and you will get some more energy in the mornings and that should do the trick.” His phone call was one of the longest calls in my life, as I sat there wondering what fate had in store for me. Needless to say, I was not amused at his warped sense of humor - although i suppose if the phone had not rung, he would not have made me mull this over for three minutes. I have lots of other odd stories about visiting doctors in Germany, but that is for another thread. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2010, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-come-on-no-doctor-on-the-planet-has-ever-said-that/512770/22 "2010-05-10T04:19:05Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > If you believe alternative medicine/scam practitioners, physicians are always telling patients “You’ve got a year/six months/a few days to live/don’t buy any long-playing records\*”, only to have the patients use some miracle remedy the doc scoffed at and live another thirty years. > > I won’t say that _no_ physician in history has _ever_ told a patient “You’ve got six months to live”, but what typically happens is that a physician will discuss the average life expectancy for people having a particular condition, expectations with or without treatment etc. People generally want to know these things so they can make plans. > > For example, I take part in oncology conferences on a regular basis, where a great variety of cases and situations are discussed, and I’ve never heard anyone flat-out state that a particular patient has only X months to live. It would be foolish and unprofessional. > > \*this line would obviously need updating. Maybe “don’t start downloading any _really long_ digital files.” Doesn’t have the same ring to it, though. Why would saying it flat out be relevant? If you say that people with my condition usually only last a few months, and no more than a year, I’m going to hear it as a euphemism for “You have less than a year to live.” The fact that doctors do not ever tell you flat out is precisely why people will jump to conclusions based on what you say. I’m not saying there’s anything you can do about it. But it’s hardly unexpected that people will misunderstand or misremember. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2010, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-come-on-no-doctor-on-the-planet-has-ever-said-that/512770/23 "2010-05-10T04:25:30Z")
Speaking of “zombie threads” and “six months to live”, isn’t it about time for **l e k a t t** to make an appearance? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-come-on-no-doctor-on-the-planet-has-ever-said-that/512770.md?page=1)