# Oh Dear, apparently I'm a bad date. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 21, 2007, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897 "2007-01-21T23:36:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mbossa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@Mbossa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mbossa)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/41 "2007-01-23T00:14:18Z")
Which site is the quiz on? I just want to know which site to avoid when I’m looking for my girly quiz fix. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/42 "2007-01-23T00:15:49Z")
[QUOTE=Sam Stone] Are you sure the quiz wasn’t to determine if you date badly, not that you’re a bad date? All the ‘right’ answers above seem to be manipulative. The quiz seems to be asking, “How do you extract the most out of a date?” [/QUOTE] Yeah, I think calling this a “Are you a good date?” quiz is misleading, because that implies that the quiz is supposed to determine if you’re somebody other people would want to date. The “correct” answers (talking on your cell phone, flirting with the waiter, “my ex was cooler than your ex” one-upsmanship) indicate someone I would date with a ten foot stick.\* There’s clearly some other agenda here. Maybe, “How to date like a manipulative shrew?” [sub]\*I’m aware that makes no sense.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/43 "2007-01-23T00:17:06Z")
[QUOTE=Ethilrist] So, the perfect date is a slut. Who knew? [/QUOTE] All men, everywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/44 "2007-01-23T06:33:38Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] I’ve totally been on lunch dates. Picnic in the park. Eat some cheese. Drink some wine. Have sex in a shrubery. That’s totally a date. [/QUOTE] :::: Note to self, if ever in Canada, make sure to invite **alice** to a wine and cheese lunch in a park with lots of shrubbery. ::::: ---
**Author:** ![Grossbottom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba8739/32.png) [@Grossbottom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grossbottom)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/45 "2007-01-23T15:19:28Z")
[QUOTE=Shayna] However, it is precisely because the concert tickets are a Bad Idea that B is an incorrect answer. The object of a first date is not just to have fun, but to get to know the other person. You can’t get to know someone in a venue where you can’t even talk to one another. [/QUOTE] Yeah I know that, but we don’t even know what kind of concert this is. It could be a string quartet, it could be acoustic, it could be lovely. Lunch on the other hand, to get to know each other? Noooooo. That’s an interview. Okay, let’s plan it out. First of all, this lunch will be during the week rather than the weekend, because no one ‘does lunch’ on the weekend. So you’re in work clothes, and in a work frame of mind. Bzzzzt. You can’t drink and get silly and tell each other embarrassing stories. Bzzzzt. It’s the middle of the day, so there’s not even the real possibility of a semi-hot grope session unless Alice is there and bushes are close. Bzzzzt. Can’t or won’t turn the cellphone off, for good reasons. Bzzzzt. Have to go back to work and spend the rest of the day mooning over some bebe, or irritated at the 1.5-hours you just wasted buying some dingbat a ham sandwich. Bzzzzt. Dinner is a date, nighttime is the right time. Lunch is…just not good date material. The primary purpose of a first date is not to gather information; intelligence gathering will be an ongoing process anyway and there’s no way one date will give you a clear picture if the other person turns out to be full of crap. No. A first date’s purpose is to get the other person TO WANT TO HAVE SEX, PREFERRABLY WITH YOU. Yes! Date wants your crotch: objective reached. Explore the wonders of your shared love of Q-tip log cabin building later on, there will be time. It’s not about actually slutting out, I’m not suggesting anyone close on the first date. Never do that. We’re talking about generating desire, a strong and active sexual interest by the other person. That’s a first date that kills, and it doesn’t happen over panini and diet coke down at the sandwich shop. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/46 "2007-01-23T16:07:46Z")
I do lunch in the weekend! In the week I just eat. Lunch followed by a movie or movie followed by dinner, good. A concert simply doesn’t have so much to talk about. A date isn’t supposed to be an interview but it should include conversation. You know, a free exchange of ideas? If I don’t like a guy’s brain I will not want to have sex with him. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/47 "2007-01-23T16:27:14Z")
[QUOTE=Grossbottom] …No. A first date’s purpose is to get the other person TO WANT TO HAVE SEX, PREFERRABLY WITH YOU. … [/QUOTE] What a fascinating point of view. However, I’d have to disagree with this statement. But then, I haven’t been 20 years old in a while, so maybe that’s just me. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/48 "2007-01-23T16:46:19Z")
[QUOTE=Grossbottom] We’re talking about generating desire, a strong and active sexual interest by the other person. That’s a first date that kills, and it doesn’t happen over panini and diet coke down at the sandwich shop. [/QUOTE] It happened over decaf latte at a [Cosi](http://www.getcosi.com/), when my boyfriend and I had our first date after work on a Tuesday – which, essentially, is not much different from a lunch date. We sat and talked for about 2 hours, and when we parted ways he wanted to kiss me (I could tell from the way he was looking at me, and I confirmed my suspicion on our next date by asking, “You almost kissed me the other day, didn’t you?”). On a first date, sexual interest either exists or it doesn’t – the location doesn’t matter. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/49 "2007-01-23T17:11:25Z")
[QUOTE=Grossbottom] First of all, this lunch will be during the week rather than the weekend, because no one ‘does lunch’ on the weekend. [/QUOTE] Speaking as one who’s had a Saturday lunch date turn into an entire weekend - meaning lunch on Saturday, dinner on Saturday, breakfast on Sunday, lunch on Sunday, dinner on Sunday, breakfast on Monday, honey - you’re just not doing it right. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/50 "2007-01-23T17:21:36Z")
[QUOTE=Grossbottom] First of all, this lunch will be during the week rather than the weekend, because no one ‘does lunch’ on the weekend. [/QUOTE] Says who? I’d much sooner have a lunch date on a weekend than a dinner date; it’ll be less crowded, we can sit outside on a patio or biergarden and enjoy the sun (ah, sunny Southern California) and talk casually without being bothered by waiters at a formal place. Plus if I get stood up (about half the time…f\*\*kin’ Southern California) it’s not a big deal. I don’t have to stand there at the bar and wait 45 minutes before cancelling my reservation (or sit at the table alone and smile in an embarassed manner at the waitron for wasting a table) and go home to get totally pissed. I can just pull out a book and have a pleasant lunch and a couple of beers by myself. If said date turns out to be just tardy instead of pestiferous, all is good. And lunch is low pressure; you talk, things click or they don’t. If you want to extend the date, there’s plenty of time; if not, you claim to have plans for the afternoon, break off and never call back. [QUOTE=BMalion] > [@Grossbottom](#): > > …No. A first date’s purpose is to get the other person TO WANT TO HAVE SEX, PREFERRABLY WITH YOU. … What a fascinating point of view. However, I’d have to disagree with this statement. But then, I haven’t been 20 years old in a while, so maybe that’s just me. [/QUOTE] I would have estimated 15. The meet-greet-and-mash-genitals together thing is fine for a Saturday night at the meat market (if that’s your thing–it seems kind of mechanical to me) but if I’m actually going to go out on _a date_, I’d rather actual get to know something of the woman in question, and vice versa. But then again, that doesn’t seem to work so well for me (the last so-called date ended up excusing herself 'cause she was actually seeing someone else…thanks for the heads up, lady) so what do I know? Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Grossbottom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba8739/32.png) [@Grossbottom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grossbottom)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/51 "2007-01-23T19:09:44Z")
Whoa, whoa. Let’s get this straight. I’m immature because I’m of the opinion that establishing a sexual attraction should be the primary goal of the first date? Date. Not hang out, not chill. Date, like boy meets girl? Alrighty then. Let’s just take it easy here, poindexters. I’ll just back out of the chess club room slowly, no one get up. I didn’t mean to upset anyone by suggesting that in pursuing the opposite sex, someone might consider the creation of physical desire in said member of the opposite sex to be necessary and beneficial. Everything will be okay. I want peace between our two peoples. We can share this land, in peace and (e)harmony. > [@Misnomer](#): > > my boyfriend and I had our first date after work on a Tuesday – which, essentially, is not much different from a lunch date. Except that it was not a lunch date and didn’t suffer from my previous list of reasons why not to have a lunch date as your first date. Even if it was, I’m just saying a single person who wants to maximize odds of success won’t go with a lunch date. > [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Speaking as one who’s had a Saturday lunch date turn into an entire weekend - meaning lunch on Saturday, dinner on Saturday, breakfast on Sunday, lunch on Sunday, dinner on Sunday, breakfast on Monday, honey - you’re just not doing it right. And that was a first date? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/52 "2007-01-23T19:37:57Z")
[QUOTE=Grossbottom] And that was a first date? 😉 [/QUOTE] Actually, according to my math is was a first, second, third, fourth, fifth and sixth date. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2007, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/53 "2007-01-23T19:46:43Z")
[QUOTE=Grossbottom] ..Let’s just take it easy here, poindexters. I’ll just back out of the chess club room slowly, no one get up. I didn’t mean to upset anyone by suggesting that in pursuing the opposite sex, someone might consider the creation of physical desire in said member of the opposite sex to be necessary and beneficial. Everything will be okay. I want peace between our two peoples. We can share this land, in peace and (e)harmony. .. [/QUOTE] Cute, if someone thinks that a first date should be more than an interview for the bedroom then we’re “poindexters”? Gosh, sure wish I was a hep-cat daddio like Fonzie, but that darn math homework sure takes up a lot of my time. C’mon Potsie, let’s go study. See you at Arnold’s. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/54 "2007-01-24T14:25:34Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] Speaking as one who’s had a Saturday lunch date turn into an entire weekend - meaning lunch on Saturday, dinner on Saturday, breakfast on Sunday, lunch on Sunday, dinner on Sunday, breakfast on Monday, honey - you’re just not doing it right. 😉 [/QUOTE] As part of our ongoing customer satisfaction effort, the company has asked me to check up on how you like your new [Volvo](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8037843&postcount=90). I can come by on Saturday, maybe we could discuss this over lunch. 😃 I think **Tuckerfan** nailed it. Anybody that does not want to date you must be gay. Getting back to the OP, I think you gave the correct answers. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/55 "2007-01-24T17:52:53Z")
[QUOTE=Rick] As part of our ongoing customer satisfaction effort, the company has asked me to check up on how you like your new [Volvo](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8037843&postcount=90). I can come by on Saturday, maybe we could discuss this over lunch. 😃 [/QUOTE] See, it’s this kind of customer service that makes me recommend Volvo to all of my girl friends. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/56 "2007-01-24T18:26:33Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] :::: Note to self, if ever in Canada, make sure to invite **alice** to a wine and cheese lunch in a park with lots of shrubbery. ::::: [/QUOTE] I keep telling you, we are screaming for welders in Calgary. A great job welding for $50 an hour, and **Alice** having sex with you in shrubberies - why aren’t you here yet? It’s because of the lack of professional baseball, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/57 "2007-01-24T18:31:45Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] I keep telling you, we are screaming for welders in Calgary. A great job welding for $50 an hour, and **Alice** having sex with you in shrubberies - why aren’t you here yet? It’s because of the lack of professional baseball, isn’t it? [/QUOTE] No, it’s because of the blisteringly hot -40F winter’s you guys have. There’s a condition known as “shrink” that I like to avoid as much as possible. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/58 "2007-01-24T19:11:15Z")
That’s funny - winters are such a fact of life for us that it doesn’t even occur to me as a reason to not move here. You know, we do have warm underwear (you could even put a hot shot down your pants, if you really wanted to), and I don’t think **alice** expects you to frolic in the shrubberies in the middle of winter. 😃 (And we don’t have bugs or rats, either. Or hurricanes, tsunamis, earthquakes, or volcanoes. Well, I suppose we could have a volcano some day, but we don’t currently have any.) ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/59 "2007-01-24T19:22:33Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] No, it’s because of the blisteringly hot -40F winter’s you guys have. There’s a condition known as “shrink” that I like to avoid as much as possible. 😃 [/QUOTE] Dude, if the pay is $50/hr and it includes a chance to have lunch in the park with Alice, who gives a shit if it is -40? Alice will keep you warm. Think man, think! I have never been to Calgary, but I can tell you the women in BC are stunning. I think it must be something they add to the water up here. If the women in Calgary are 1/2 as good looking as the women in BC, MOVE! Excuse me I have to go look into welding schools. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/60 "2007-01-24T20:23:28Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] and **Alice** having sex with you in shrubberies - [/QUOTE] Wait. What? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897.md?page=4)