# Oh Dear, apparently I'm a bad date. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 21, 2007, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897 "2007-01-21T23:36:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/81 "2007-01-25T10:11:43Z")
[QUOTE=Sternvogel] No mystery here – each of your classmates figured that he had no chance with you, since you were the hottest girl around, had your pick of the available **men** in town, and would thus break his geeky loser schoolboy heart if he dared to ask you on a date. [/QUOTE] Just to give some perspective, I remember the last time I came on to a really hot girl, way out of my league, who’d been flirting with me. It turned out that, why yes, she really was way out of my league, and slightly befuddled as to what she’d said or done that made me think differently. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/82 "2007-01-25T10:30:29Z")
[QUOTE=Stranger On A Train] That’s no joke. There’s a Kurt Vonnegut short story about that (the name escapes me at the moment). [/QUOTE] Think you’re talking about “Miss Temptation.” ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/83 "2007-01-25T14:11:28Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] See, now this is a real shame and - I suspect - the reason that I spend most Saturday evenings home alone with my dog, watching You’ve Got Mail for the 758,578th time, eating PopTarts. Well, that and because, apparently I’m a bad date. 😃 [/QUOTE] Well then, fuck it. I’m going for it. **alice** , wanna go on a date with me? I have a bush with your name on it. Or, to put it more delicately – May I touch you with my penis? ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/84 "2007-01-25T15:49:17Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] Well then, fuck it. I’m going for it. **alice** , wanna go on a date with me? I have a bush with your name on it. Or, to put it more delicately – May I touch you with my penis? [/QUOTE] Date, yes. Penis - you need to keep that to yourself, pardner. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/85 "2007-01-25T15:51:36Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] Date, yes. Penis - you need to keep that to yourself, pardner. 😃 [/QUOTE] What would be the point, then? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/86 "2007-01-25T15:55:40Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] Hehe - I’ve bumped into guys from highschool that said “You were the hottest girl in school - I totally crushed on you for all three years!” and I always say “That’s nice. I didn’t go on a single date with a guy in my highschool, because none of them ever asked me out.” Go figure, eh? [/QUOTE] Man, this board is filled with my spiritual sisters. _adds **alice** to the list of Dopers she really oughta take out to lunch some day to compare notes_ Terry Pratchett calls it “the jerk syndrome” in _Thud_, **Sternvogel** already explained it. **tdn** , dear, we already know what you want. Being too obvious is crass 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/87 "2007-01-25T16:01:33Z")
To address the “She’s so cute, no one asks her out” syndrome – I knew about this way back in high school. I decided early on to capitalize on it. I asked out the cute girls that were out of everyone’s league. There were – without exception – dating someone. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/88 "2007-01-25T16:33:18Z")
[QUOTE=Nava] **tdn** , dear, we already know what you want. Being too obvious is crass 😃 [/QUOTE] Sorry, didn’t mean to be crass. May I touch you with my tender soul? My hot, throbbing, tender soul? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/89 "2007-01-25T17:07:16Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] Sorry, didn’t mean to be crass. May I touch you with my tender soul? My hot, throbbing, tender soul? [/QUOTE] That’s better. Much more subtle. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/90 "2007-01-25T17:11:32Z")
I think I now have a Hopeless Doper Crush on **Nava**. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/91 "2007-01-25T17:51:04Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] Sorry, didn’t mean to be crass. May I touch you with my tender soul? My hot, throbbing, tender soul? [/QUOTE] Well, if you put it that way… ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/92 "2007-01-25T18:49:04Z")
[QUOTE=Rick] Dude, if the pay is $50/hr and it includes a chance to have lunch in the park with Alice, who gives a shit if it is -40? Alice will keep you warm. Think man, think! [/QUOTE] I _am_ thinking. You have no idea what really cold weather does to me, I tend to sleep all the time when it’s cold out. **alice** could no doubt keep me warm, but the uh, “physical activity”, necessary to ensure that I wasn’t sleeping 12 hours or more a day would be such that I’d be at risk of dying from protein loss! (Though, I must admit it wouldn’t be a bad way to go! ;)) ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/93 "2007-01-25T19:20:43Z")
Why do I suddenly feel like I’m being auctioned off to the highest bidder… ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/94 "2007-01-25T20:41:58Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] Why do I suddenly feel like I’m being auctioned off to the highest bidder… [/QUOTE] ::: Waves bidding paddle::: ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/95 "2007-01-25T20:43:56Z")
You boys are all big pigs. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/96 "2007-01-25T20:54:30Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] You boys are all big pigs. 😃 [/QUOTE] What? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/97 "2007-01-25T21:22:33Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] Why do I suddenly feel like I’m being auctioned off to the highest bidder… [/QUOTE] Dearie, we would never do that. Oh, and 20,000 quatlus on the newcomer. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/98 "2007-01-25T21:22:51Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] You boys are all big pigs. [/QUOTE] :: scratches self, burps :: Sorry? ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/99 "2007-01-25T21:46:31Z")
[QUOTE=alice\_in\_wonderland] Why do I suddenly feel like I’m being auctioned off to the highest bidder… [/QUOTE] It is getting a little creepy around here. Why don’t you and I go outside for a walk and a bit of fresh air… Stranger ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897/100 "2007-01-25T21:57:41Z")
[QUOTE=Stranger On A Train] It is getting a little creepy around here. Why don’t you and I go outside for a walk and a bit of fresh air… [/QUOTE] Fine, but if you start steering me towards a shrubbery, I’m gonna wack you with this bidding paddle… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-apparently-im-a-bad-date/388897.md?page=6)