# Oh, Dear Lord, Brandine wants to Be Friends **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 30, 2004, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739 "2004-05-30T01:51:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739/41 "2004-05-31T00:02:27Z")
Don’t feel bad, **AveDementia** , I got it. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739/42 "2004-05-31T01:48:52Z")
> [@masonite](#): > > On second thought, **Eve** , if you just call her a squashed cabbage leaf, that ought to do the trick a lot faster. Are you kidding? If I call her a “squashed cabbage leaf,” she’ll deck me! We’re talkin’ Big Rosie Greenbaum here, a tough Joisey Tomato who no doubt packs a shiv. If I so much as raised an eyebrow, she’d come at me with a broken beer bottle: “Youse lookin’ at me funny?” Not so much Audrey Hepburn as Laverne DeFazio. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739/43 "2004-05-31T03:27:50Z")
> [@Tuckerfan](#): > > Don’t feel bad, **AveDementia** , I got it. I got it too! I read Jonathan Livingston Seagull when it first came out, (there’s a copy not twenty feet away from me in Grandma’s bedroom, so apparently one of us gave it to her for a gift) but apparently I had blocked it out of my mind totally. I checked out that link, read the whole darn thing and can’t for the life of me ever remember having read it before. Me, who remembers books I read in second grade. I am glad that I had forgotten that drivel, and really wish I hadn’t gone to that link! Now I’d better go finish P.D. James’ autobiography to recover. I don’t think I’m strong enough to check out Harriet Carter yet…is it anything like Lillian Vernon? ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739/44 "2004-05-31T03:35:01Z")
> [@kittenblue](#): > > I don’t think I’m strong enough to check out Harriet Carter yet…is it anything like Lillian Vernon? Possibly even blander. ---
**Author:** ![dinahmoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dinahmoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dinahmoe)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739/45 "2004-05-31T03:36:49Z")
Harriet Carter is Lillian Vernon’s tacky cousin, if you can imagine. I think she’s the demon spawn of Lillian and Walter Drake. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739/46 "2004-05-31T05:53:19Z")
Who’s Lillian Vernon? I did a search though for Hattie Carnegie. Can we say trailer park? Someone should get her on “While You Were Out” and redo her apartment in Art Nouveau then. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739/47 "2004-05-31T06:29:32Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > [J.L. Seagull](http://www.42.dropbear.id.au/jls.html) > > Wretched. Just wretched. Don’t mock the Bach, or I’ll clean your clock. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739/48 "2004-05-31T06:50:54Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > [J.L. Seagull](http://www.42.dropbear.id.au/jls.html) > > Wretched. Just wretched. Gah! I am now dumber and I hold you to blame! ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739/49 "2004-05-31T07:10:08Z")
This thread has taught me two important things. #1 Rather than the elite luxury tower I had pictured, Eve lives in just another apartment building. This means that my fears that she is out of my league may be unfounded #2 I spent those many hours crafting her a Marlene Dietrich Barbie for nothing. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739/50 "2004-05-31T13:43:28Z")
> [@](#): > > **dinahmoe** Harriet Carter is Lillian Vernon’s tacky cousin, if you can imagine. I think she’s the demon spawn of Lillian and Walter Drake. Reminds me of the identity theft commercial with the guy on his riding mower speaking in a _Brandine_ voice, about the lovely things found on the shopping channel. Last line : “Ah feal lahke the perdiest gurl in the whole…development, (whimper)” I bet she could give you some pointer on which shopping channel is best. Be careful she might get you a gift. Then you’d have to wear that fart joke teeshirt to be polite. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739/51 "2004-05-31T14:36:57Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > Be careful she might get you a gift. Then you’d have to wear that fart joke teeshirt to be polite. . . . Well . . . pearls _can_ dress up _anything_ . . . ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739/52 "2004-05-31T15:08:14Z")
Maybe you can see if they make t-shirts that say, “I’m with Tasteless”. ---
**Author:** ![JayElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/4bbf92/32.png) [@JayElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JayElle)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739/53 "2004-05-31T17:23:51Z")
> [@dinahmoe](#): > > Harriet Carter is Lillian Vernon’s tacky cousin, if you can imagine. I think she’s the demon spawn of Lillian and Walter Drake. Check out the [Harriet Carter](http://www.harrietcarter.com) website, if you dare. **Eve** , does Brandine sport a [Tiki Head Tissue Box](http://www.harrietcarter.com/Detail.cfm?pth=33&Cat=9&prod=3181&sr=24) in her home? ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739/54 "2004-05-31T17:44:07Z")
Well, **Eve** isn’t it just so damn good to be so much better in so many ways than Brandine! Why aren’t you lucky and intelligent and blessed! Does this post somehow make you _feel_ better because it sure does make you _look ugly_. I think I’d rather enjoy Brandine’s honesty than your pretention and snobbery. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739/55 "2004-05-31T18:00:42Z")
Take it to the Pit, sunshine. Eve _is_ better than most people, and the sooner we all realize that the better of we will all be. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739/56 "2004-05-31T18:40:39Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > Why[,] aren’t you lucky and intelligent and blessed! Why, yes, I am, dear, thank you for noticing! Though I would be ever so much more blessed if I had one of [these](http://www.harrietcarter.com/Detail.cfm?pth=33&Cat=9&prod=2168&sr=1) in my gracious home. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739/57 "2004-05-31T19:05:25Z")
Blech! I clicked that link and I note that the item in question is “not currently available”. This is not in itself a problem, but it does leave me wondering whther the company had second thought about its stock, or whether it proved so popular that it sold out pretty quickly. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739/58 "2004-05-31T19:24:40Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Why, yes, I am, dear, thank you for noticing! Though I would be ever so much more blessed if I had one of [these](http://www.harrietcarter.com/Detail.cfm?pth=33&Cat=9&prod=2168&sr=1) in my gracious home. Oh! My eyes! My eyes! People don’t really put those things …? Never mind… **devilsknew** What makes you think Brandine is honest? Because she admitted to owning Barbies? ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739/59 "2004-05-31T19:33:57Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Why, yes, I am, dear, thank you for noticing! Though I would be ever so much more blessed if I had one of [these](http://www.harrietcarter.com/Detail.cfm?pth=33&Cat=9&prod=2168&sr=1) in my gracious home. Nobody’s _ever_ going to accuse me of being stylish, but that? That is just ghastly. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2004, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739/60 "2004-05-31T19:40:57Z")
Where’s the Harriet Carter-shaped toilet seat cover? 'Cause _that’s_ the novelty toilet seat cover for me! I was actually considering a tiki tissue dispenser…it would’ve gone so well with my tiki glasses [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-dear-lord-brandine-wants-to-be-friends/247739.md?page=4)