# Oh, fie on me for not having this one talent! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 12, 2003, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-fie-on-me-for-not-having-this-one-talent/181322 "2003-06-12T14:07:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-fie-on-me-for-not-having-this-one-talent/181322/1 "2003-06-12T14:07:12Z")
Ahem. When I grow up, I wanna be a [Boobie Buff](http://www.philly.com/mld/inquirer/news/local/6067625.htm), a Mammary Maven, a remote guesser of womens’ bountiful breasts (although, admittedly, sometimes the bounty is more of a famine) just like this guy. 🙂 > [@](#): > > As a by-product of this public service, and because he has been in the business all his life, the 78-year-old “braziologist,” as he calls himself, has developed a certain gift. > > He can tell you a woman’s bra size from 10 feet away. I already gleefully, openly, fastidiously and totally without any couth whatsoever (and shame–I seem to lack that, too) visually take in the beauty of the bewitching bosoms I see walk by every day (not by themselves, mind you–although it’d be a funny moment to see tits treking by their lonesome), but it’d be better if I could get paid for it. 😛 All I’m saying is that if I ever quit the techie world, I now have a newer, better, more immature career path ahead of me, ready to be carved out. G’bless never growing up. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-fie-on-me-for-not-having-this-one-talent/181322/2 "2003-06-12T14:49:47Z")
Ahem–who you callin’ a famine? 😉 Dude, I say if you can develop such a skill, more power to you; I myself can’t tell another woman’s cup size without grabbing a handful. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-fie-on-me-for-not-having-this-one-talent/181322/3 "2003-06-12T14:53:08Z")
I have a friend who can tell what brand of gum you’re chewing or what brand of shampoo you use by scent. I think if you could tell a woman’s cup size by scent you would _truly_ be the master! ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-fie-on-me-for-not-having-this-one-talent/181322/4 "2003-06-12T15:45:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by auntie em \* > \*\*I myself can’t tell another woman’s cup size without grabbing a handful. \*\* Yet the latest on my list of things I’d pay to see. Do you mind flash photography? 🆒 **Gorgon Heap** : I wonder, though, if the Fatties O’ Fun are leaning toward the heavier side because they’re churning some natural moo-juice, would the mixed smell (now fortified with nine essential vitamins and _laiche_) throw me off? Could I compensate, you think? What if I’m lactose-intolerant? Would my nose rebel (in defense of my stomach) and report back inaccurate results? So many questions. I need to be a breast scientist! ---
**Author:** ![Qazzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/aeb1de/32.png) [@Qazzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qazzz)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-fie-on-me-for-not-having-this-one-talent/181322/5 "2003-06-12T15:45:54Z")
Yuck boobies are gross. Peepees rule! ---
**Author:** ![garius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e19b73/32.png) [@garius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garius)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-fie-on-me-for-not-having-this-one-talent/181322/6 "2003-06-12T16:00:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Qazzz \* > \*\*Yuck boobies are gross. Peepees rule! \*\* by some bizarre twist of fate i think the exact opposite! I think we need to get together… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-fie-on-me-for-not-having-this-one-talent/181322/7 "2003-06-12T16:07:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Qazzz \* > \*\*Yuck boobies are gross. Peepees rule! \*\* Being a man, I’m obviously biased in my opinion that, when it comes to ruling the world, there are certain advantages to being equipped with a a purple-helmeted flesh soldier, but I’m afraid that when it comes to cutting a swath through the myriad of research (and development, if I can figure out how to make _that_ happen) career choices, I’d much rather stick to focusing on the “Dirty Pillows” of the world. Although, admittedly, should I find myself in the position of professionally hunting for misplaced “peepees” (see: King Missile and their ode to [AWOL willies everywhere](http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=95729)), I’d get a kick out of being called a “Ding-Dong Dick.” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-fie-on-me-for-not-having-this-one-talent/181322/8 "2003-06-12T16:29:49Z")
Or howabout “Long Duck Dong?” Anyway, I think we are onto something with the concept of “breastolfactology.” Imagine the doors this amazing science will open in the future. And the blouses. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-fie-on-me-for-not-having-this-one-talent/181322/9 "2003-06-12T16:38:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gorgon Heap \* > \*\*Or howabout “Long Duck Dong?” > Anyway, I think we are onto something with the concept of “breastolfactology.” Imagine the doors this amazing science will open in the future. And the blouses. \*\* Think we can get a grant? Or maybe we can set up separate foundations of research and, you know, peer review the other’s studies. I wonder in which journal we should publish our findings… Do you think Heffner or Guccione would let us in? ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-fie-on-me-for-not-having-this-one-talent/181322/10 "2003-06-12T16:44:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gorgon Heap \* > \*\*I think if you could tell a woman’s cup size by scent you would _truly_ be the master! \*\* …and if you could do it by _taste…?_ ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2003, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-fie-on-me-for-not-having-this-one-talent/181322/11 "2003-06-12T18:37:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by quietman1920 \* > \*\*…and if you could do it by _taste…?_ \*\* ::_digs around the kitchen_:: I’ve got spoons!