# Oh, good. Another team building exercise **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 12, 2008, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282 "2008-11-12T01:38:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282/1 "2008-11-12T01:38:53Z")
I’ve tried. I’ve really tried to go along with your stupid team building exercises. Some of them, like ‘two truths and a lie’ actually turned out to be mildly amusing, but this time it’s gone too far. I am not going to be closer to the ‘team’ for having gone through this. The only possible result from this is that I get pissed off. And that has indeed already happened. In the end, I really just want to ask you this one simple question: **DON’T YOU HAVE FUCKING _WORK_ TO DO?** 'Cause, you know, I do, and it’s not going to get done if I have to do this too: > [@](#): > > CUBICLE FARM MYSTERY – RETURN FORM BY NOVEMBER 11 > > MISSION: to use your detective skills to figure out the mystery team member that has answered the questions on a profile. You will have 3 weeks to surreptitiously find the person that matches the profile. While you try to figure out whom the person is, start planning how you will present your profile in a creative way to the team. Your presentation can be in the form of a story, picture, collage, graph, food, song, photo, power point, gift, or anything you would like. These are just suggestions so please be creative and have fun! > > Possible suspects: > xxxx, **drewbert** , xxxx, xxxx, xxxx, xxxx, xxxx, xxxx, xxxx, xxxx, xxxx, xxxx, xxxx > > DIRECTIONS: > Please answer these questions truthfully. Type directly into this document. Answer all questions. Print the document and place it in xxxx’s box. Do not reveal your name. The last question will ask you to pick a combination of 4 letters and/or numbers. Write these down so that you know your code. When the profiles are passed out to everyone, if you accidentally receive your own profile, place it back in xxxx’s box and you will receive another profile. A _collage_? You’re fucking kidding me, right? Here are the questions, along with my attempts at a) honest answers, and b) what I really want to say. Neither of which are going to be looked upon kindly if I actually submitted them. > [@](#): > > Make an x by your favorite and least favorite color. Do not reveal which is the favorite or least favorite. > \_\_\_Red > \_\_\_Orange > \_\_\_Yellow > \_\_\_Green > \_\_\_Blue > \_\_\_Violet or purple > \_\_\_Pink > \_\_\_Brown > \_\_\_Black > **honest answer** : I don’t have a favorite color. Call me a Vulcan, but what possible use is there in having one? > **what I really want to say** : Infrared (favorite), Black (technically isn’t a color so it’s my least favorite) > If you could choose one continent to visit, which one would it be? > > \_\_\_Antarctica > \_\_\_Asia > \_\_\_Europe > \_\_\_South America > \_\_\_North America > \_\_\_Africa > \_\_\_Australia > **honest answer** : Never really thought much about it. If you’d pay for a trip somewhere exotic for me, I’d probably go, regardless of the continent. I’d probably turn down, say, a weekend in North Korea. > **what I really want to say** : Gondwanaland. Because that would mean that I have access to a time machine, and that would fucking _rock_. > > If you were surfing the Internet, what kind of website would you most likely visit? > \_\_\_Music > \_\_\_Movies > \_\_\_News > \_\_\_Humor > \_\_\_Videos > \_\_\_Business > \_\_\_Science > \_\_\_Entertainment > \_\_\_Cooking > **honest answer** : the SDMB, which is pretty much all of these. But if I said that, you might just find this thread, so: > **what I really what to say** : what do you mean **if**? > > If you could pick your favorite cubicle/office supply, what would it be? > **honest answer** : headphones > **what I really want to say** : headphones. To drown you out. > > On your day off, what is your most favorite and least favorite thing to do or watch? Place an x by 2, do not reveal which is the favorite or least favorite. > \_\_\_Sports > \_\_\_Cooking > \_\_\_Cleaning > \_\_\_Movies > \_\_\_Reading > \_\_\_Games > \_\_\_Shopping > \_\_\_Family > \_\_\_Nature > \_\_\_Exercise > \_\_\_Computers > \_\_\_Writing > \_\_\_Art > \_\_\_ Other? > **honest answer** what’s a day off? > **what i really want to say** : two x’s next to ‘Other’ > > What state would you visit for the first time or return to again? > **honest answer** : Why would I pick just one? > **what I really want to say** : I don’t know, but this quiz is sending me to a state of Irritation. > > What are you more likely to watch on TV a regular basis? > \_\_\_Sports > \_\_\_Educational > \_\_\_Drama > \_\_\_Comedy > \_\_\_Horror > \_\_\_Games > \_\_\_Soaps > \_\_\_Music > \_\_\_News > \_\_\_Classic Movies > \_\_\_Cartoon Network > **honest answer** : I don’t watch TV on a ‘regular basis’. Some days it doesn’t get turned on at all. > **what I really want to say** : I really haven’t made a statistical analysis of my television watching habits. Have you? > > If you could choose your dream meal, what would it be? Type at least two things. > **honest answer** : Look, I’m a lazy guy and I live alone. I’m doing good if I _have_ something that resembles an actual meal for dinner. > **what I really want to say** : I don’t dream about food. Really. > > Name one famous person you admire, past or present. > **Honest answer** : Again, why would I pick just one? > **what I really want to say** : No. > > Are you a morning person or an evening person? > **honest answer** : I don’t even _know_ anymore… > **what I really want to say** : Depends. Is there coffee? > > Would you rather be by yourself or with lots of other people? > **honest answer** : Guess. > **what I really want to say** : No, really, go ahead. Guess. > > If any wild animal could be domesticated, what would you choose as your pet? > **honest answer** : I used to think it might be cool to have a pet chipmunk. > **what I really want to say** : Actually, I’m fine with my cat, but thanks. > > Pick a combination of 4 of letters and numbers. This is your code. What is your code? ( ) > > A B C D E F 1 2 3 4 5 6 > **honest answer** : sigh. 1234. > **what I really want to say** : Goddammit, leave me alone. Someone, _please_ make this stop. I have actual work to do. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282/2 "2008-11-12T01:46:34Z")
> [@drewbert](#): > > Someone, _please_ make this stop. I have actual work to do. You can make this, and your workload go away with two little words: **I quit**. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Campion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Campion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Campion)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282/3 "2008-11-12T02:00:48Z")
At least when they do team building where I work, we get alcohol. And let me tell you, it really lessens the amount of complaining about team building when you get to do it with a beer in hand! Perhaps you can suggest that to your boss? ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282/4 "2008-11-12T02:04:06Z")
Today we received an email about a “professional development opportunity” regarding “alternative assessment” (translation: a workshop on ways to dumb down our grading process so that fewer of the student morons fail our courses). The person organizing the workshop chirped (yes, I could HEAR the chirp in email) “please RSVP, because one of the activities involves cookies and we need to know how many to bring!” I work at a community college, not a daycare. Gah. ---
**Author:** ![Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freddy_the_Pig)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282/5 "2008-11-12T02:11:28Z")
Every time somebody bitches about team building, I think of our sailboat racing team build that ended with the manager who planned it turning green and puking his guts into the harbor. God, that was beautiful. Thank you for reminding me of it. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282/6 "2008-11-12T02:15:33Z")
You are so lucky. My boss decided I needed mandatory Life Coaching. Actually, she was having some of her staff get certified as life coaches, and the rest of us as more or less practice dummies for them. It involved filling out this very personal ‘wellness assessment’ to start, which I refused to do. Then she spent two weeks trying to coach me into being life coached. She finally gave up when the hired gun life coach guru told her participation had to be voluntary. ---
**Author:** ![Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc79bd/32.png) [@Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amber_in_Treasury)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282/7 "2008-11-12T02:19:03Z")
> [@Freddy\_the\_Pig](#): > > Every time somebody bitches about team building, I think of our sailboat racing team build that ended with the manager who planned it turning green and puking his guts into the harbor. God, that was beautiful. > > Thank you for reminding me of it. Muahahaha!😃 Please, Freddy, would you mind telling the whole story/more details? K-thx! ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282/8 "2008-11-12T02:19:34Z")
First of all, I loved your take on that test, **drewbert**. You are a kindred spirit. I’d love to see HR try to give that test to my group, bunch of misanthropic malcontents that we are from the boss on down. They can’t even bribe us with cake and raffles to get us to go to the all hands meetings. I feel for you, my brother. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282/9 "2008-11-12T03:09:49Z")
> [@Campion](#): > > At least when they do team building where I work, we get alcohol. I think that should be a cardinal rule of the New World Order: Corporate team building exercises MUST involve alcohol, paid for by the manager who insisted on holding the team building exercise. ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282/10 "2008-11-12T03:19:27Z")
Thanks **hajario**. I truly am stuck on how to answer this honestly, stay within the rules, and actually _not_ be an ass. I really hate “favorite color” sorts of questions. Anyway, I have well passed the deadline. Tomorrow may prove interesting. ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282/11 "2008-11-12T03:30:52Z")
> [@drewbert](#): > > Thanks **hajario**. I truly am stuck on how to answer this honestly, stay within the rules, and actually _not_ be an ass. I really hate “favorite color” sorts of questions. > > Anyway, I have well passed the deadline. Tomorrow may prove interesting. Write in your answers: infrared and Gondwanaland, that would be great. For your secret code use “QQQQ”. ---
**Author:** ![Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harriet_the_Spry)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282/12 "2008-11-12T03:34:08Z")
Based on my analysis of your personality via psychic powers - Your favorite color is black and least favorite is pink. You would like to visit Australia. Website: I’m going with entertainment for the SDMB. Headphones, that’ll work. Day off - cooking and computers. State: California TV - I’m getting poor reception on this one, but I think it’s cartoons. Dream meal: Spaghetti and meatballs. Famous person: Albert Einstein Evening person Alone Chipmunk is good. You and your cat can enjoy it together. Code: 2BAD Come back and let me know how well your coworkers think I did. ---
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282/13 "2008-11-12T03:45:23Z")
> [@drewbert](#): > > A _collage_? You’re fucking kidding me, right? Go for interpretive dance! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282/14 "2008-11-12T04:19:07Z")
**Harriet** , you’re actually not too far off on some of those… **Apollyon** , that’s just weird. There’s seriously a long-running joke about me and a co-worker making presentations in interpretive dance. You’re as psychic as **Harriet**! ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282/15 "2008-11-12T04:27:39Z")
I find that team building exercises really bring the staff together in a united loathing and contempt for the douche bags who subject us to that twaddle. Our arts and crafts projects usually end up being bossturd voodoo dolls made of wads of tape. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282/16 "2008-11-12T04:31:30Z")
> [@Annie](#): > > I find that team building exercises really bring the staff together in a united loathing and contempt for the douche bags who subject us to that twaddle. Our arts and crafts projects usually end up being bossturd voodoo dolls made of wads of tape. My recipe: Take 1 manager with a team building idea, combine with 1 team in need of building. Place in locked room. Let steam for 45 min. Turn out survivors. Results:1 team ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282/17 "2008-11-12T04:36:32Z")
**drewbert** , just out of curiousity - did you see the story last year(?) about the contest a European university had for presenting abstracts of Ph.D. theses as interpretive dance? Here’s a [link](http://www.sciencemag.org/cgi/content/full/319/5865/905b#dance) to it. Just food for thought. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Caught\_Work](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/919ad9/32.png) [@Caught\_Work](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caught_Work)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282/18 "2008-11-12T04:46:41Z")
Secret code? FOFF ---
**Author:** ![Jaglavak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/85f322/32.png) [@Jaglavak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaglavak)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282/19 "2008-11-12T04:58:07Z")
Hey, it could be worse. They could lock you in a room for a series of long winded meetings to write a Mission Statement and a Vision Statement. - twitch \* ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2008, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282/20 "2008-11-12T05:17:53Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > My recipe: Take 1 manager with a team building idea, combine with 1 team in need of building. Place in locked room. Let steam for 45 min. Turn out survivors. > > Results:1 team Oh, it can be worse. The company I am routinely abused by in exchange for money likes to hire outside contractors for their team-building events. That’s right, they can’t even manage to come up with their _own_ psychotwaddle to inflict on us; they have to spend money on snake-oil salesmen, who cart us off somewhere to do annoying things in rubbishy places. (Seriously, one place was a bankrupt dude ranch that had gone badly to seed. No horses or anything, just decaying outbuildings and some schmucks with mail-order degrees.) The very best thing that happened that day was the bus driver getting lost on the way there. Regrettably, he eventually found it. I blame cell phones. They would get much better results using that money to spring for a nice lunch (even without alcohol), where everyone could sit and chat over a good meal. It at least wouldn’t make us _more_ sullen and rebellious. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-another-team-building-exercise/472282.md?page=2)