# Oh good GOD.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-god/169953
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [April 21, 2003, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-god/169953 "2003-04-21T01:26:46Z")
**Posts on this page:** 19
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)
#### Post date: [April 21, 2003, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-god/169953/21 "2003-04-21T15:13:38Z")
I remember being a little kid and waiting for the Rapture. I always tried to be a good, non-sinning kid so that I could get into Heaven. After awhile I just got bored and said screw it. I’ve sinned like crazy since then and Jesus still hasn’t showed up.
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### Author:  [@Velma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velma)
#### Post date: [April 21, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-god/169953/22 "2003-04-21T15:14:31Z")
But Jesus will only return when nobody expects it. So, if they expect it, he won’t return. The more they prophecy that he is returning now, the more that keeps him away. Don’t they see? It has to be a surprise!
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### Author:  [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)
#### Post date: [April 21, 2003, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-god/169953/23 "2003-04-21T17:22:43Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Velma \*
> \*\*But Jesus will only return when nobody expects it. So, if they expect it, he won’t return. The more they prophecy that he is returning now, the more that keeps him away. Don’t they see? It has to be a surprise! \*\*
That reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw:
JESUS IS COMING (Look busy!)
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### Author:  [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)
#### Post date: [April 21, 2003, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-god/169953/24 "2003-04-21T20:15:52Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by CRorex \*
> \*\*Ummm didn’t Christ return which is why we have Easter… or something. \*\*
I meant for the second time.
The full verse is Matthew 16:28 “Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.”
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### Author:  [@Super\_Gnat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Super_Gnat)
#### Post date: [April 21, 2003, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-god/169953/25 "2003-04-21T20:16:47Z")
Yeah, **CRorex** , but then He went to heaven, promising that He would return (from heaven) someday. Presumably at that point this earth will either end, or endure for 1000 years and then end, or whatever theory you want to cook up from Revelation. I’m not sure how the grocery stores fit into this, though. 😛
**Velma** , that’s my theory exactly.
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### Author:  [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)
#### Post date: [April 21, 2003, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-god/169953/26 "2003-04-21T20:46:35Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Lobsang \*
> \*\*my code was wrong (ha) here it is corrected
>
> do{
>
> :rolleyes:\_();
>
> }while(0) \*\*
But wouldn’t a while(0) loop terminate immediately? (I’m assuming you wanted a forever loop.)
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### Author:  [@Morrigoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morrigoon)
#### Post date: [April 21, 2003, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-god/169953/27 "2003-04-21T20:55:27Z")
Well, I don’t know about you guys, but until someone starts trying to tatoo foreheads and hands, I’m saying the times are not upon us…
If you want to follow new-age concepts, then how about the Nostradamus one? He predicted two more popes, so we’ve got at least that long, LOL.
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### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [April 21, 2003, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-god/169953/28 "2003-04-21T22:04:14Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Velma \*
> **But Jesus will only return when nobody expects it. So, if they expect it, he won’t return.**
"Okay, Jesus, it’s Monday, and you’re not here, so I expect you to come Tuesday. But if I _expect_ you to come Tuesday, then you _won’t_ come tomorrow, because it wouldn’t be a surprise. So you must be coming on _Wednesday._ But tomorrow, when you aren’t here, I’ll expecting you the next day, so you can’t come that day.
“Aw, shit, man, just execute me and get it over with.”
> [@](#):
>
> _Title of this thread_
> **Oh good GOD.**
“Yes, that’s just what the Hebrews thought.”
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### Author:  [@torben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/torben)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2003, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-god/169953/29 "2003-04-22T00:38:45Z")
So, basically the End Times scholars just want to make money in God’s name. Is greed God’s plan?
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### Author:  [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2003, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-god/169953/30 "2003-04-22T00:41:44Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Cervaise \*
> **"Okay, Jesus, it’s Monday, and you’re not here, so I expect you to come Tuesday. But if I _expect_ you to come Tuesday, then you _won’t_ come tomorrow, because it wouldn’t be a surprise. So you must be coming on _Wednesday._ But tomorrow, when you aren’t here, I’ll expecting you the next day, so you can’t come that day."**
Man, it sounds like Jesus and my plumber have a lot in common. You never know when either of them will get here.
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2003, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-god/169953/31 "2003-04-22T00:48:35Z")
Alright, get it while its hot!
\*\*End of the World Betting Pool \*\*
Pick your square, lay down your bet.
Winner closest to the actual EOTW will win the pool ( house taking ten percent.)
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2003, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-god/169953/32 "2003-04-22T00:49:42Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Man, it sounds like Jesus and my plumber have a lot in common. You never know when either of them will get here.
HAH and Double HAR-DEE HAR HAR.
You must make this a bumper sticker.
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2003, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-god/169953/33 "2003-04-22T01:28:59Z")
Have all y’all read Heinlein’s Job: A Comedy of Justice? This kind of stuff actually scares me, thinking that we’re all going to live in a world where fun is a sin. “Putting the “fun” back in “fundamentalist””. Ha.
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### Author:  [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-god/169953/34 "2003-04-22T01:30:37Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Tars Tarkas \*
> \*\*i tried signing up but they wanted money. here is part of the story: [yo, story here](http://secure.agoramedia.com/leftbehind_story1.asp) \*\*
I like the way the guy in the margin art is looking up at the “Manage My Account” button with an expression of befuddled dread.
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### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2003, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-god/169953/35 "2003-04-22T01:36:17Z")
Maybe it was about Hitler-think about it!
He had people forcibily tattooed-the JEWS, and like, he was evil and stuff. And he tried to take over the world.
So like Hitler was the Antichrist.
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### Author:  [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2003, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-god/169953/36 "2003-04-22T02:17:13Z")
I had to sign up. The end times are here. I see the signs everywhere. There are only heels in my bag of Wonder bread. I bought a pack of Newports and there were only butts in it. It snowed in April in New York. My cat is right now sleeping with my dog. My husband found a parking spot right outside the front door of our apartment building.
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### Author:  [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2003, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-god/169953/37 "2003-04-22T02:28:02Z")
Oh, crap.
I’m going to Hell for laughing at this thread, aren’t I? 😛
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### Author:  [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2003, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-god/169953/38 "2003-04-22T02:28:08Z")
Oh, crap.
I’m going to Hell for laughing at this thread, aren’t I? No Rapture for me! 😛
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### Author:  [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)
#### Post date: [April 22, 2003, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-good-god/169953/39 "2003-04-22T02:37:16Z")
I think that [this](http://www.geocities.com/sterra13/rolleyes-explode.gif) gif is the appropriate response.
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