# Oh, If I Only Had a Time Machine **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 27, 2007, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828 "2007-04-27T04:10:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828/1 "2007-04-27T04:10:19Z")
I’ve been poking around in the Library of Congress online photographic collection (and boy is it a _bitch_ to figure out how to find anything) and I stumbled across a bunch of photographs of hotties that are pretty amazing. Not a one of them would look out of place in a Hollywood movie of today. Okay, enough of my blathering, you folks want links don’t you? Well, here they are. [A babe from 1900.](http://memory.loc.gov/service/pnp/ppmsca/12000/12056r.jpg) [Another one from around that time.](http://memory.loc.gov/service/pnp/ppmsca/12000/12064r.jpg) [It looks like she’s thinking, “You expect me to marry _that?_”](http://memory.loc.gov/service/pnp/ppmsca/12000/12071r.jpg) [Here, let me just undo the back of that for you.](http://memory.loc.gov/service/pnp/cph/3c30000/3c35000/3c35700/3c35713r.jpg) [The creator of the Kewpie doll.](http://memory.loc.gov/service/pnp/ppmsca/12000/12045r.jpg) ["Dear John, I’m sorry, but I’ve just met the most wonderful man from the future.](http://memory.loc.gov/service/pnp/ppmsca/12000/12055r.jpg) [Some cornfed Iowa gals learning to tap dance.](http://lcweb2.loc.gov/pnp/ppmsc/00200/00250r.jpg) [I wonder if they’re performing _Dionysus_?](http://memory.loc.gov/service/pnp/cph/3b40000/3b45000/3b45800/3b45862r.jpg) [That beaker ain’t the _only_ thing that’s smokin’!](http://memory.loc.gov/pnp/fsa/8b04000/8b04500/8b04575r.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828/2 "2007-04-27T04:12:56Z")
You should’ve seen Helen of Troy! ---
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828/3 "2007-04-27T04:24:26Z")
STOP! You’ll destroy the fabric of time! One of those women could know your grandmother! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828/4 "2007-04-27T04:28:46Z")
Eh, granny got hers, now it’s time for me to get mine! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828/5 "2007-04-27T04:52:12Z")
The first girl in your OP is Evelyn Nesbit, who had a [juicy history](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evelyn_Nesbit). She was a sexpot at sixteen, married to a sexual sadist in her early twenties, and became famous first as a “Gibson Girl,” then as the girlfriend of John Barymore, and finally as the wife of a famous architect, the woman for whom her jealous husband murdered another ex boyfriend. Quite a story! Wikipedia has a few other pix of her, but I have seen the one you posted elsewhere with her story. You have great taste! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828/6 "2007-04-27T04:54:18Z")
Don’t forget [Frances Cleveland!](http://galactanet.com/comic/302.htm) ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828/7 "2007-04-27T04:56:44Z")
[QUOTE=Largo62] The first girl in your OP is Evelyn Nesbit, who had a [juicy history](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evelyn_Nesbit). She was a sexpot at sixteen, married to a sexual sadist in her early twenties, and became famous first as a “Gibson Girl,” then as the girlfriend of John Barymore, and finally as the wife of a famous architect, the woman for whom her jealous husband murdered another ex boyfriend. Quite a story! Wikipedia has a few other pix of her, but I have seen the one you posted elsewhere with her story. You have great taste! [/QUOTE] Elizabeth McGovern did a sexy take on her in [_Ragtime!_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ragtime_%28film%29)🙂 ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828/8 "2007-04-27T05:12:17Z")
I thought porn had to adhere to the two clicks rule? It’s sexy, but a couple don’t seem period. Ther are two pictures that seem modern-- in black and white digital. Or maybe these are just ruminations from the past ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828/9 "2007-04-27T06:09:33Z")
Which ones seem modern? ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828/10 "2007-04-27T06:49:49Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] Which ones seem modern? [/QUOTE] I’d say Evelyn Nesbit would fit right in with just a change of dress. Put her in blue jeans with a blouse tied together over a bare midriff and she’d stop traffic anywhere. ---
**Author:** ![Rocketeer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocketeer/32/4437_2.png) [@Rocketeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rocketeer)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828/11 "2007-04-27T13:38:01Z")
I have a book of photographs of the Mississippi steamboat business in the late 1800s. One of them is a candid snapshot of a couple enjoying an excursion. The girl is a major-league cutie, the guy is a fairly good-looking fellow, and they look like they’re having the time of their lives. Utterly charming. Ah, here’s the book: > **[The Mississippi Steamboat Era in Historic... by Gandy, Joan W.](https://www.amazon.com/Mississippi-Steamboat-Era-Historic-Photographs/dp/0486252604)** > > The Mississippi Steamboat Era in Historic Photographs: Natchez to New Orleans, 1870–1920 \[Gandy, Joan W., Gandy, Thomas H.\] on Amazon.com. \*FREE\* shipping on qualifying offers. The Mississippi Steamboat Era in Historic Photographs: Natchez to New... ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828/12 "2007-04-27T13:58:59Z")
Two GGILFs for everyyyyyyyyyyyy boy!!! ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828/13 "2007-04-27T15:35:05Z")
> [@Largo62](#): > > The first girl in your OP is Evelyn Nesbit, who had a juicy history. Woah! I just checked out your link, and saw that L. M. Montgomery used a photo of her as a model for _Anne of Green Gables_ (one of my favorite book series and movies). Evelyn and Anne couldn’t be more different, but that’s a very fun little factoid. ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828/14 "2007-04-27T15:50:54Z")
Er… is this the time to mention that I was looking at a collection of photographs related to the SS Eastland disaster, and was thinking that this [woman](http://memory.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/I?cdn:33:./temp/~ammem_kHDx::displayType=1:m856sd=ichicdn:m856sf=n064947:@@@) needed someone to comfort her? Of course, with the time machine there are a number of hotties who could be SAVED without ever causing the great-grandparent problems mentioned up thread. (Really, it’s all about doing good deeds. Honest.) ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2007, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828/15 "2007-04-27T23:59:44Z")
Who was it who said everybody used to be homely? He should step this way. According to family legend, my paternal grandmother and her sisters were the belles of Salt Lake City, ca. 1908. Another story has my great grandmother taking the girls down to Santa Monica around that time, following a quarrel with my ggf. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828/16 "2007-04-28T00:57:59Z")
[QUOTE=Largo62] The first girl in your OP is Evelyn Nesbit, who had a [juicy history](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evelyn_Nesbit). She was a sexpot at sixteen, married to a sexual sadist in her early twenties, and became famous first as a “Gibson Girl,” then as the girlfriend of John Barymore, and finally as the wife of a famous architect, the woman for whom her jealous husband murdered another ex boyfriend. Quite a story! Wikipedia has a few other pix of her, but I have seen the one you posted elsewhere with her story. You have great taste! [/QUOTE] I did my thesis on that case-both Nesbit and Thaw (her husband) were from Pittsburgh. She was known as “The Girl in the Red Velvet Swing.” ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828/17 "2007-04-28T02:51:46Z")
Well, I dunno. They all have such unhealthy gray pallors. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828/18 "2007-04-28T02:53:48Z")
Threads like this are why I miss **Eve**. ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828/19 "2007-04-28T03:00:58Z")
[QUOTE=Largo62] I’d say Evelyn Nesbit would fit right in with just a change of dress. Put her in blue jeans with a blouse tied together over a bare midriff and she’d stop traffic anywhere. [/QUOTE] Actually, I bet if she went out with the outfit she’s pictured in, she’d stop traffic. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2007, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828/20 "2007-04-28T06:16:49Z")
[QUOTE=Spectre of Pithecanthropus] According to family legend, my paternal grandmother and her sisters were the belles of Salt Lake City, ca. 1908. [/QUOTE] They stopped at Salt Lake to inquire the way Where Brigham declared that sweet Betsy should stay But Betsy got frightened and ran like a deer While Brigham stood pawing the ground like a steer! – “Sweet Betsy from Pike” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-if-i-only-had-a-time-machine/401828.md?page=2)