# Oh, just go to hell now, Mr. Creationist Biology teacher. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 31, 2008, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762 "2008-01-31T20:15:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/41 "2008-01-31T22:38:50Z")
I see nothing wrong with the original assesment, snark and all, this “professor” needs to be taken down a notch, trying to force his irrational and illogical religious views on his students it’s a science course, _NOT_ a divinities course I vote for keeping the snark in, makes a much more entertaining read ---
**Author:** ![Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea666f/32.png) [@Two\_and\_a\_Half\_Inches\_of\_Fun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_and_a_Half_Inches_of_Fun)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/42 "2008-01-31T22:45:22Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] Here’s my boring, almost snark-free answer, lest anyone think I’m asking for homework help; I hope he doesn’t expect more than two paragraphs, 'cause I don’t know what else to drain out of this corpse: [/QUOTE] Something seems wrong with that woman. It almost appears as if she is causing evil to come into the world. She should be cursed with the pain of childbirth. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/43 "2008-01-31T22:46:03Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] I’m not sure that’s true, though, even with modern techniques. Don’t apples need cold enough conditions to mature such that roses will drop their petals? Roses stop blooming 'round here by July or \*maybe \*mid-August, and apples don’t start ripening 'till September or so, even if we’re dealing with modern hybrids. [/quote] There are a number of rose varieties that will bloom in cycles or semi-continuously until (and after) frost. For example, this year I had a shrub-type rose (‘Home Run’) flowering until late October, which overlapped with our apple tree’s crop of ripe fruit. We have snakes too, but we don’t listen to them. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/44 "2008-01-31T22:51:07Z")
I like **John Mace** ’s idea of alerting the biology department head and definitely mention that “vital” assignment you were given. I cannot believe a nutcase like this can actually be teaching a college level biology course. I’m at work now, I’ll probably type more later. (Not as if you need my advice 🙂 ). ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/45 "2008-01-31T22:56:58Z")
[QUOTE=lieu] The picture looks a Paint by Numbers, which suggests your next assignment will be a Paint by Deuteronomy. [/QUOTE] Win. WhyNot, you are a far, far better woman than I. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/46 "2008-01-31T22:58:35Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] There are a number of rose varieties that will bloom in cycles or semi-continuously until (and after) frost. For example, this year I had a shrub-type rose (‘Home Run’) flowering until late October, which overlapped with our apple tree’s crop of ripe fruit. We have snakes too, but we don’t listen to them. [/QUOTE] Well, there you go! See? I AM learning something as a result of this course! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/47 "2008-01-31T23:02:11Z")
[QUOTE=Jackmannii] We have snakes too, but we don’t listen to them. [/QUOTE] And you wonder why your bet on the fifth race at Aqueduct never pays off. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/48 "2008-01-31T23:12:16Z")
Um,… where’s the burning bush? Where’s the serpent? Where’s they guy in the clouds with the free flowing beard? This is SO unreal! ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/49 "2008-01-31T23:15:10Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] Um,… where’s the burning bush? [/QUOTE] It appears that Eve found a Bikini Wax Plant. There’s no bush at all. ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/50 "2008-01-31T23:17:26Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] Eating an apple doesn’t kill the apple tree. [/QUOTE] Maybe not the way you do it, buddy. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/51 "2008-01-31T23:37:11Z")
Your original draft is great. 😛 Now for the other’s. Within 30 feet of each other I have ripe grapes, ripe apples and flowering roses in the fall. Late in the fall the grapes are bad after a frost. The apples are alright if there is a slight frost. You need to pick most of them before the frost hits. I leave some on the trees because the sugar builds up in them and they are super eating. The roses are not dead until a hard frost. The blooms damage a little in the colder weather, and don’t always open. The apples don’t need cold weather to ripen, they need the cold to have fruit next year. This is condensed not being snarky. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@wolf\_in\_second\_hand\_clothing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_in_second_hand_clothing)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/52 "2008-01-31T23:40:16Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] Eating an apple doesn’t kill the apple tree. [/QUOTE] Yeah, at worst it’s more like aborting a potential future apple tree. uh oh… ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/53 "2008-01-31T23:43:34Z")
I always wondered why God gave carnivores sharp ripping teeth, if they were meant to eat vegetable matter. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/54 "2008-01-31T23:44:02Z")
[QUOTE=Harmonious Discord] Within 30 feet of each other I have ripe grapes, ripe apples and flowering roses in the fall. Late in the fall the grapes are bad after a frost. The apples are alright if there is a slight frost. You need to pick most of them before the frost hits. I leave some on the trees because the sugar builds up in them and they are super eating. The roses are not dead until a hard frost. The blooms damage a little in the colder weather, and don’t always open. The apples don’t need cold weather to ripen, they need the cold to have fruit next year. [/QUOTE] _sigh again_ Okay, okay, okay, y’all have convinced me that apples, grapes and roses can co-exist. So help me find something else wrong with the picture. I hate a list with only two items (Hi, **Opal**!), and I need a third thing for that last sentence to make it flow nicely. 😃 @ **wolf** ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/55 "2008-01-31T23:45:24Z")
So, wait. I see two horses, two great cats, two parrots, two awks, two humans… but is the pig shacking up with a llama? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2008, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/56 "2008-01-31T23:52:02Z")
[QUOTE=Jophiel] So, wait. I see two horses, two great cats, two parrots, two awks, two humans… but is the pig shacking up with a llama? [/QUOTE] Actually, in the .pdf I have, I can zoom in enough to see another pig standing behind the white horse, and the “llama” is a buck (although I don’t see a doe. Maybe he’s got an “arrangement” with the pigs). Unfortunately this zoom also forces me to notice that the white horse, instead of a regular mane, has long flowing wavy locks of feminine hair parted in the center and gracefully framing her face. And the brown horse is not, in fact, checking out her ass. He’s checking out the ass of the boy leopard. Pervert. ---
**Author:** ![Millit\_the\_Frail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Millit\_the\_Frail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Millit_the_Frail)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/57 "2008-02-01T00:03:55Z")
[QUOTE=lieu] I felt it appropriate that I have Lynyrd Skynyrd playing in my head while I read your thread. The picture looks a Paint by Numbers, which suggests your next assignment will be a Paint by Deuteronomy. [/QUOTE] Funny, I was humming Iron Butterfly… Anyway, this is totally Pitworthy. What exactly does he expect to accomplish with this assignment? I’m at a loss to even figure that out. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/58 "2008-02-01T00:19:29Z")
[QUOTE=Millit the Frail] Funny, I was humming Iron Butterfly… Anyway, this is totally Pitworthy. What exactly does he expect to accomplish with this assignment? I’m at a loss to even figure that out. [/QUOTE] It sounds like he expects to get the students to stop asking for their assignment. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/59 "2008-02-01T00:21:05Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] Eating an apple doesn’t kill the apple tree. [/QUOTE] But it does kill the apple seeds–and as we all know killing an apple seed is just the same as killing a full-grown apple tree! Rights for the pre-germinated! Fruit salad is murder! I know **wolf in second hand clothing** beat me too it, but damn it–pre-germinated is funny! ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/60 "2008-02-01T00:37:00Z")
Perhaps they ate around the seeds and planted them. Eating the fleshy part is the equivalent of eating a mammal’s placenta. Many seeds need to go through a digestive track to germinate anyway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762.md?page=4)