# Oh, just go to hell now, Mr. Creationist Biology teacher. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 31, 2008, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762 "2008-01-31T20:15:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/61 "2008-02-01T00:52:02Z")
[QUOTE=Harmonious Discord] Eating the fleshy part is the equivalent of eating a mammal’s placenta. Many seeds need to go through a digestive track to germinate anyway. [/QUOTE] [That depends on the fruit.](http://waynesword.palomar.edu/fruitid1.htm) [Many fruits are _ovaries_.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fruit) However, for apples: > [@](#): > > **Pome** : Ovary or core surrounded by edible, fleshy receptacle tissue (hypanthium or fleshy floral tube) that is really not part of the pericarp. The actual ovary or core is usually not eaten, at least by most humans. This is typical fruit of certain members of the rose family (Rosaceae), including apple, pear, quince and loquat. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/62 "2008-02-01T01:10:29Z")
Quick, replace the pic with [this!](http://faustoponce.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/simpson.gif) Or [this.](http://www.lifeisajoke.com/simpsons/GardenofEden.bmp) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Real\_Thing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@The\_Real\_Thing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Real_Thing)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/63 "2008-02-01T03:05:55Z")
Ugh, I feel bad for you, **WhyNot**. My university biology professor is an Orthodox Christian, but luckily he not only believes in evolution, he also teaches it very well. I hope your situation improves, preferably with the removal of this guy. And I too like your first draft better, although the less snarky version might be better if you don’t want him to single you out as a heretic. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fish\_Nya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@Fish\_Nya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fish_Nya)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/64 "2008-02-01T07:10:40Z")
This reminds me of a guy in my Psych class. One the first day when we were giving introductions (why the teacher was making us do this, I have no idea) he said “I’m very religious and want to be a biology teacher, but I don’t know how that will work as I do not believe in evolution”. I probably would have just written it off if not for the fact that in every class, when we talk about news articles that relate to the chapter we are on, or really any interesting psychology article, his are never on topic and always have a religious bent. One of the first was about abortion and how the mother felt afterward which did deal with psychology. The next was about how the FDA would not have the food companies labeled cloned food. He was outraged! Who knows what horrible things could come from the evils of cloned food! I dread him saying anything in class. He just tries to work his beliefs into every subject and it is annoying. He even randomly interjected “A jiffy is a real unit of time. It is 1/100th of a second.” We were not talking about time, we were talking about neurons. Even the teacher was bewildered. For some reason I imagine this guy will become your biology teacher somehow. He seems like the type to do that sort of thing. I’m just wondering when he will fins the time worm hole. ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Dirx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b77776/32.png) [@Sir\_Dirx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Dirx)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/65 "2008-02-01T07:43:42Z")
I think your first draft is fine; it’s not overly snarky, and gets the point across. If nothing else, it shows you’re not wishy-washy you won’t succumb to a mediocre answer out of fear for your grade. I was singled out once. I attended a Jesuit university, where they required you take 3 semesters of theology courses. One course, the prof (a priest) asked flat out on day one if anyone didn’t believe in God. I raised my hand and was greeted with 30 pairs of scrutinizing eyes. That entire class period and half of the next turned into “Ask the Atheist,” and the prof himself never let up on me throughout the semester. I couldn’t have the last word in a discussion, and just about anything I said was wrong because I didn’t agree with him. And I wouldn’t have had it any other way. If you’re worried about your grade suffering because he doesn’t like you, and if he’s actually stupid enough to grade you that way, you can usually make a very good case about it to the dean. Especially if you’ve brought up the current situation already. If your decision is based on just not wanting trouble, then, that’s your decision. But don’t be afraid of being the nail that sticks out. With a prof like that, I doubt you’d be the only one anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Don\_t\_Call\_Me\_Shirley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Call_Me_Shirley)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/66 "2008-02-01T13:45:57Z")
> [@](#): > > “I’m very religious and want to be a biology teacher, but I don’t know how that will work as I do not believe in evolution”. Huh? What does this guy think biology is? Without evolution, biology is not even as advanced as physics was before Newton’s laws. Galileo was dropping things from towers and Kepler was drawing ellipses, but there was no idea that they might be related. Before Darwin, a bunch of people were cataloging and studying anatomy, but they had no idea how any of it was connected. Darwin took that mess and turned it into a science. Without evolution, a biologist is not a scientist, he’s a zoo keeper fumbling around in the dark. ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/67 "2008-02-01T15:09:41Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] _sigh again_ Okay, okay, okay, y’all have convinced me that apples, grapes and roses can co-exist. So help me find something else wrong with the picture. I hate a list with only two items (Hi, **Opal**!), and I need a third thing for that last sentence to make it flow nicely. 😃 @ **wolf** [/QUOTE] Okay! Your wish is my command. Why is that cow (the one on the right, next to the apparently? third deer) approximately half the size of the horsie-unicorny probably-herbivore? And since when do palm trees (background center right) share ecosystems with deciduous trees? And penguins aren’t eco-buddies with camels or tropical birds in any climactic zone I personally am aware of. Seriously, forward the email with attachments to the head of the department with a cc to the dean of academic affairs along with a query regarding the school’s policy on this sort of thing - as well as the school’s policy regarding absent syllabi (and any other issues you’ve noted). I can see this sort of assignment being _maybe_ appropriate in a religion, philosophy, literature, or sociology course, but no chance it’s okay for introducturoy biology. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/68 "2008-02-01T15:22:39Z")
[QUOTE=Aangelica] And since when do palm trees (background center right) share ecosystems with deciduous trees? [/QUOTE] Ooh, perfect! Thanks! I like pointing out one flora problem, to complement the fauna problem (predator/prey). 'Cause, y’know, I likey the herbals. It makes me sad when people only see the animals and forget that the plants are active living creatures as well. ---
**Author:** ![WotNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@WotNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WotNot)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/69 "2008-02-01T15:26:51Z")
> [@](#): > > …and small omnivores such as the…I’m not sure what they’re supposed to be - really big shrews? Really small capybaras?.. I was going to say that they look like guinea pigs from what little I can see of them, but **Squink’s** [link](http://images.vam.ac.uk/indexplus/result.html?_IXFIRST_=1&_IXSS_=_IXFIRST_%3d1%26_IXINITSR_%3dy%26%2524%253dIXID%3d%26_IXACTION_%3dquery%26%2524%253dIXOBJECT%3d%26_IXMAXHITS_%3d15%26%252asform%3dvanda%26%2524%253dIXNAME%3d%26_IXSESSION_%3dufL4coTc5fv%26%2524%253dIXPLACE%3d%26_IXadv_%3d0%26search%3dsearch%26%2524%253dIXMATERIAL%3d%26%2524%253ds%3dbrueghel%26%2524%253dop%3dAND%26_IXFPFX_%3dtemplates%252ft%26%2524%253dsi%3dtext%26%2524%253dIXFROM%3d%26%2524%253dIXTO%3d&_IXACTION_=query&_IXMAXHITS_=1&_IXSR_=r8Dgx8JnyYn&_IXSPFX_=templates%2ft&_IXFPFX_=templates%2ft) confirms it: > [@](#): > > Brueghel painted the range of animals in great detail, and includes what is possibly the first representation in Western Art of a guinea pig. Don’t know if you can do anything with that, but there you go. Heh heh… “Squink’s link”. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![the\_Lady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@the\_Lady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_Lady)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/70 "2008-02-01T15:27:40Z")
I’m another who likes your original version. I really, really hope your answer is entirely the kind of thing he’s looking for - but somehow I doubt it. I had a biology prof in high school who would have done something similar, but would have been looking for an answer precisely like yours. (Catholic high school, too) ---
**Author:** ![WotNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@WotNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WotNot)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/71 "2008-02-01T15:39:30Z")
[QUOTE=Aangelica] And since when do palm trees (background center right) share ecosystems with deciduous trees? [/QUOTE] [There are a few that do.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hardy_palms) Or which can, at any rate. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/72 "2008-02-01T15:51:31Z")
> [@](#): > > While this painting is entirely laughable for it’s biological and natural inaccuracies, as a cartoon we can see the components of an ecosystem on display. A natural water source with clouds in the sky indicate a water cycle, wherein water evaporates from the river, losing many contaminates to the distillation process, gathers in cloud formations and then condenses to fall again as clean water. This water dissolves minerals and brings nutrients to the cells of the plants and animals we can see, including grasses, trees, and vines (let us attempt to overlook the fact that ripe apples, grapes and roses are incompatible in nature due to their different growth seasons.) Herbivores such as horses and deer and some insects feed on the plants and small omnivores such as the…I’m not sure what they’re supposed to be - really big shrews? Really small capybaras?..feed on the plant matter and one another. Larger omnivores like the humans and carnivores like the lions feed on these herbivores and small omnivores, and the omnivores also feed directly on some of the plants. When these omnivores and carnivores die, their bodies feed both scavengers and, when decomposed, feed the plants and trees. Be careful, **WhyNot**. While you are tearing apart the professor’s errors, the first “facts” you mention are completely off base and not at all appropriate if you want this guy to respect you. I’m surprised no one has corrected you already. Anyone with a high-school level understanding of creationology knows that there was no water cycle until God opened the windows of heaven and made it to rain for the first time causing the Flood. ---
**Author:** ![robby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robby/32/11048_2.png) [@robby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robby)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/73 "2008-02-01T15:53:27Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] “A natural water source with clouds in the sky indicate a water cycle, wherein water evaporates from the river, losing many contaminates to the distillation process…” [/QUOTE] Nitpick–the word you want is “contaminants.” As an environmental engineer, I see this all the time. “Contaminates” is a verb. “Contaminants” is a noun. That’s too bad about your idiotic prof. I’d complain to the administration. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/74 "2008-02-01T15:54:45Z")
The picture looks horribly _crowded_ for any ecosystem. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/75 "2008-02-01T15:59:57Z")
[QUOTE=robby] Nitpick–the word you want is “contaminants.” As an environmental engineer, I see this all the time. “Contaminates” is a verb. “Contaminants” is a noun. [/QUOTE] :eek: You are completely correct! I had that niggling feeling like something wasn’t quite right with that sentence, but I couldn’t work out exactly what was wrong with it. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![WotNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@WotNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WotNot)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/76 "2008-02-01T16:08:14Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] The picture looks horribly _crowded_ for any ecosystem. [/QUOTE] It’s a composite shot. Jan Brueghel was an early pioneer of time-lapse oil painting. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/77 "2008-02-01T16:13:19Z")
That picture looks more like the staging area for Noah’s arc than the Garden of Eden, but never mind that. I didn’t see a snake. Don’t Eden Ecosystems require snakes? If you take out the snake, the whole system collapses and mass extinction events will occur. Notice also that there are no dinosaurs in this picture. Ask yourself _why_ that is. Ladies and gentlemen, it doesn’t make any sense. Don’t underestimate the genius of your professor, **WhyNot**. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/78 "2008-02-01T16:18:09Z")
[QUOTE=you with the face] I didn’t see a snake. Don’t Eden Ecosystems require snakes? [/QUOTE] There is, actually, a snake in my pdf (and I assume the original painting). It’s dangling down off the tree branch taunting Brazilian Wax Eve. I guess it didn’t survive the transition to bmp format. (Does this mean that all we need to do to eradicate evil is change file formats on the world?) ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/79 "2008-02-01T16:26:49Z")
Wow. I can’t wait to hear what your next class ends up being like. Sounds like you’ll need a stiff drink at the Chi-fest. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2008, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/80 "2008-02-01T16:38:38Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] Okay, okay, okay, y’all have convinced me that apples, grapes and roses can co-exist. So help me find something else wrong with the picture. I hate a list with only two items (Hi, **Opal**!), and I need a third thing for that last sentence to make it flow nicely. [/QUOTE] How on earth did those grapes get way the hell up there in that giant tree? Grapes don’t grow in trees like that! [grapes](http://www.llwine.com/images2/GoodchildVineyard2.JPG) [grapes](http://www.hawleyhousetas.com/images/vineyard.jpg) This post has been graped by the grapist. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762.md?page=5)