# Oh, just go to hell now, Mr. Creationist Biology teacher. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 31, 2008, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762 "2008-01-31T20:15:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/101 "2008-02-02T00:33:13Z")
[QUOTE=Enginerd] While this may be the answer the professor is looking for, it has no place in a science class. [/QUOTE] Does it have no place? It seems like people like to use science to disprove these religious myths. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/102 "2008-02-02T00:40:05Z")
[QUOTE=Lobohan] And eating sloth knuckles doesn’t kill the sloth. [/QUOTE] What? the apples is \*supposed \*to fall from the tree. Whether it is eaten or it germinates has no effect on the tree. Harvesting the knuckles from a sloth has a very severe effect. Is this a whoosh? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/103 "2008-02-02T01:13:30Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] What? the apples is \*supposed \*to fall from the tree. Whether it is eaten or it germinates has no effect on the tree. Harvesting the knuckles from a sloth has a very severe effect. [/QUOTE] That’s right. If a sloth’s knuckles are removed, the sloth will fall out of the tree. Like an apple. And then someone will eat him. Like he was an apple. Nod, nod, nod. ---
**Author:** ![phungi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phungi/32/395_2.png) [@phungi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phungi)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/104 "2008-02-02T01:25:16Z")
Not sure I have much to add that hasn’t already been said, but one line that comes to mind is the following, from _Full Metal Jacket_… good to keep in storage if the opportunity arises later to modify it and work it in: > [@](#): > > If God would have wanted you up there he would have miracled your ass up there by now, wouldn’t he? ---
**Author:** ![puppygod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@puppygod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puppygod)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/105 "2008-02-02T02:31:16Z")
[QUOTE=Zebra] I don’t see what’s so great about him. Pretty good Auk. Maybe. But Great? [/QUOTE] Apparently, it tasted great. That’s why we have eaten all of them. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/106 "2008-02-02T03:14:54Z")
[QUOTE=A Monkey With a Gun] Greetings class. You assignment for the weekend is to write a 500 word essay on the picture linked below. [/QUOTE] Bah. How can one, while maintaining an honest yet objective view, look upon such an image and proclaim it to be the one and only truth, when we have [this proof](http://www.decodog.com/inven/dogs1/dg30062.jpg) of how things really happened! Open your mind. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/107 "2008-02-02T03:24:07Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] Eating an apple doesn’t kill the apple tree. [/QUOTE] It kills the cells inside the fruit. So, there would be cellular death, at least. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/108 "2008-02-02T03:25:11Z")
[QUOTE=kanicbird] Does it have no place? It seems like people like to use science to disprove these religious myths. [/QUOTE] So take it to a philosophy class. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/109 "2008-02-02T03:39:29Z")
[This late medieval take on the succession of biomes](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/80/GardenED.jpg), starting as it does in the ecologically unbalanced garden of Eden, might have been a better choice for the assignment. Discussion [here](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Garden_of_Earthly_Delights). ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/110 "2008-02-02T03:46:06Z")
If you give him a snarky response, you can expect to see the dean and the head of the department (at least that’s what happened to _me_ when I did it in an English class) as fuckwit will no doubt conmsider you to be “disruptive.” :rolleyes: I suggest that if you’re looking to have fun with this dickweed you wear [this](http://www2.printshop.co.uk/B3ta/Shop/LimitedEdition/jesusblacktshirt.html) to class at least once. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/111 "2008-02-02T04:59:25Z")
> [@](#): > > and not having a syllabus prepared, as susan feels that’s the far greater crime. Hey, it’s like taking Al Capone down on tax evasion. It’s objective and probably a violation of policy. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/112 "2008-02-02T06:48:43Z")
[QUOTE=Tuckerfan] I suggest that if you’re looking to have fun with this dickweed you wear [this](http://www2.printshop.co.uk/B3ta/Shop/LimitedEdition/jesusblacktshirt.html) to class at least once. 😃 [/QUOTE] [Or this one.](http://www.pennyarcademerch.com/pat070161.html) ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/113 "2008-02-02T13:07:30Z")
[QUOTE=susan] Hey, it’s like taking Al Capone down on tax evasion. It’s objective and probably a violation of policy. [/QUOTE] 😃 I know. I hope you don’t mind me teasing you though, ‘cause it just tickles me to read through the vitriol (which is wonderfully cathartic) about Religion and Science and Very Important Topics on the World Stage, and then see little ol’ lower case \*\*susan \*\*pop in with, “Yeah, and he doesn’t have a _syllabus_, either!” In the movie in my mind, you’re the little pipsqueak sidekick running out to kick a goon while he’s down. Of course, you may indeed have the kick that finishes the goon off in the end! Well, I’m gettin’ ready for class today. After class - Chi-Town Dopefest! I suspect the later will be far more fun than the former. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/114 "2008-02-02T14:22:50Z")
[http://www.jesusdressup.com/number2.html](http://www.jesusdressup.com/number2.html) I’m not suggesting in any way that you anonymously leave a Jesus Dress Up kit on his desk. Or in his mailbox. ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/115 "2008-02-02T14:31:38Z")
[QUOTE=Lynn Bodoni] > **[The Original Jesus Dressup!](http://www.jesusdressup.com/number2.html)** [/QUOTE] Damn, Jesus is a little too small to wear [punk rock girl](http://www.deadmilkmen.com/punkrockgirlprint.html) outfits. Guess I’ll have to print him at 120%. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/116 "2008-02-02T14:45:35Z")
There’s a BDSM dress up Jesus, too. Just saying. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/117 "2008-02-02T18:30:13Z")
[QUOTE=puppygod] Apparently, it tasted great. That’s why we have eaten all of them. [/QUOTE] I didn’t get any. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/118 "2008-02-02T18:42:03Z")
[QUOTE=kanicbird] Does it have no place? It seems like people like to use science to disprove these religious myths. [/QUOTE] No more than French or Geography must be taught in History classes, or English in maths, despite that they may all affect each other. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/119 "2008-02-02T21:01:11Z")
Personally, I like [this t-shirt](http://www.zazzle.com/jesus_horse_shirt-235191916840725305) **ETA:** No wait, I like [this one](http://www.cafepress.com/buy/jesus+horse/-/pv_design_prod/pg_1/p_storeid.115518833/pNo_115518833/id_18163893/opt_/fpt_/c_666/) even better. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2008, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762/120 "2008-02-02T21:45:25Z")
If you drop the snark, I hope you include **Dr. Drake** ’s evolution line. [QUOTE=Dr. Drake] The painting also illustrates creatures who evolved in rather disparate ecosystems: I see horses (large plains herbivores), macaws (South American jungle birds), humans (African savannah), swans (none of the above)… [/QUOTE] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-just-go-to-hell-now-mr-creationist-biology-teacher/435762.md?page=7)