# Oh Lord won’t you buy me… **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 28, 2020, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-lord-won-t-you-buy-me/924123 "2020-10-28T16:34:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-lord-won-t-you-buy-me/924123/1 "2020-10-28T16:34:53Z")
A peregrine falcon? Please? The thing is – and I assume you must know this – there are _so many_ damn pigeons round here. Aside from being annoying little shits, this spring they ravaged – _ravaged!_ – our lettuces. We had to start all over again and then net everything. I really don’t want to have to go through all that again next year. So this isn’t an indulgence I’m asking for here, it’s a very practical measure. Any chance? j (But I guess you knew that, right?) (Taking requests now. Maybe.) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-lord-won-t-you-buy-me/924123/2 "2020-10-28T16:37:33Z")
A friend of mine has a huge pigeon loft with hundreds of Birmingham Rollers (aka hawk snacks). He’s the exact opposite of the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-lord-won-t-you-buy-me/924123/3 "2020-10-28T16:58:55Z")
Well, the purpose of this thread was to provide a forum for others to petition for their (niche?) needs, but I take your point. If my request is granted, I promise to do all I can to keep my falcon away from your friend’s loft. But if his pigeons go after my lettuces - look out! j ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-lord-won-t-you-buy-me/924123/4 "2020-10-28T17:17:47Z")
> [@Treppenwitz](#): > > But if his pigeons go after my lettuces - look out! I never thought of pigeons as garden pests. They like peas, but I never thought they’d graze on lettuce. Are you growing leaf lettuce, heads of romaine, arugula, what? And if a caring god existed, I’d petition for a garden of cannabis, ready for harvest. 🥇 ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-lord-won-t-you-buy-me/924123/5 "2020-10-28T18:20:26Z")
A ride on a SpaceX rocket. It would be so cool to do this while I was still young enough to handle it. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-lord-won-t-you-buy-me/924123/6 "2020-10-28T18:46:30Z")
Pigeons are a plague, I fully agree. They shit all over the terrace and they transmit all kinds of nasty diseases, not to mention the lettuces; no better than winged rats in my book. Some people around here fight them with mock ravens, that seems to deter them for a while, but they get used to them. Need some better ravens that move menacingly at irregular intervals. A transparet kite with the silhouette of a falcon can be quite useful, if you manage to keep it on the air autonomously. Ask a kite expert, some models are really cool. It is definitely too late in the year to harvest cannabis. At least where I live. You should have harvested the weed at least a month ago. How can you be so negligent? All that good stuff wasted, ts, ts, ts… My petition? I want a solar powered zeppelin. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-lord-won-t-you-buy-me/924123/7 "2020-10-28T18:50:26Z")
I seem to recall that rubber snakes are a deterrent for pigeons. Or was it owl statues? ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2020, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-lord-won-t-you-buy-me/924123/8 "2020-10-29T06:03:05Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > I seem to recall that rubber snakes are a deterrent for pigeons. Or was it owl statues?  Rubber snakes don’t deter owl statues. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2020, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-lord-won-t-you-buy-me/924123/9 "2020-10-29T11:19:02Z")
A new pancreas. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2020, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-lord-won-t-you-buy-me/924123/10 "2020-10-29T13:58:50Z")
Hey, if @panache45 is requisitioning from a body shop, I’ll take a new neck! ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2020, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-lord-won-t-you-buy-me/924123/11 "2020-10-29T14:20:17Z")
and a new liver on standby, just in case. ---
**Author:** ![Treppenwitz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treppenwitz/32/3445_2.png) [@Treppenwitz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Treppenwitz)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2020, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-lord-won-t-you-buy-me/924123/12 "2020-10-29T14:24:41Z")
Jeez, the demographics of this board… j