# Oh man, do I have the greatest thread topic of all time **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 30, 2007, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008 "2007-06-30T03:14:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008/1 "2007-06-30T03:14:37Z")
It’s about boobs and puppies and Ann Coulter and big juicy cheeseburgers and Star Trek and beer and dudes with swimmer’s bodies. Shit on a fish, it’s got something for absolutely everyone. It’s sexy, but not dirty. It’s full of f-bombs, but not Pit-appropriate. It’s political, but not controversial. It’s spiritual, but not preachy. It’s smart, but not pretentious. It’s manly, but not sexist. And oh man, does it involve nudity of the finest sort, but yet it’s completely safe for work. I think people could potentially walk away from this thread feeling enlightened, entertained, educated and aroused all at once. And I’m sure anyone who reads this thread won’t look at Barack Obama or cell phones the same ever again. It’ll involve Doper pics, and lots of them. You’ll have the opportunity to flirt, of course, but man, you just won’t need to. I daresay, it’ll be the last thing on your mind, and you won’t even care. I can think of at least one former cast member of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” who will probably be made aware of this thread, and could very well stop by to post something. I had my wife look over a rough draft, and she wept. Tears of admiration. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008/2 "2007-06-30T03:16:03Z")
It’ll never fly The mods will walk all over it No one will post You’ll be pitted for starting this thread It’ll get buried for a year and someone will resurrect it, only to be flamed for doing so ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008/3 "2007-06-30T04:05:47Z")
It’ll never work. You forgot kittens. (Some people? 😕 ) ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008/4 "2007-06-30T04:36:50Z")
You forgot flatulence. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008/5 "2007-06-30T04:43:05Z")
[QUOTE=Morgenstern] You forgot flatulence. [/QUOTE] Oh no I haven’t! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008/6 "2007-06-30T04:53:14Z")
No doubt Cecil Adams himself will stop by to post in a thread like that. ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008/7 "2007-06-30T05:44:01Z")
Do I have to wait in line for three days just to be among the first to read it? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008/8 "2007-06-30T05:57:38Z")
Tha’s hot. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008/9 "2007-06-30T06:38:57Z")
You forgot the pie! But dont worry; I have some extra in my pockets. ---
**Author:** ![Encinitas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Encinitas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Encinitas)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008/10 "2007-06-30T08:38:00Z")
I will subscribe to this proposed thread! When can we expect final product rollout? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008/11 "2007-06-30T08:51:59Z")
Can I live in it, live in it, laugh in it, love in it? Swim in it, sleep in it? Live in it, swim in it, laugh in it, love in it? Does it remove embarrassing stains from contour sheets? Does it entertain visiting relatives? Does it turn a sandwich into a banquet? Because, I, personally, am tired of being the life of the party. Does it change my shorts? Does it change my life? Des it change my life? Does it change me into a nine-year-old Hindu boy? Does it get rid of my wife? Does it walk my dog? Does it double on sax? Does it double on sax, can I jump back Jack, see you later alligator? See you later alligator? Does it steal my car? Does it get rid of my gambling debts? Does it quit smoking? Is it a friend, is it a companion? Is it the only thread I will ever need to read? …because I might just subscribe to a thread like that. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008/12 "2007-06-30T08:56:51Z")
Fools, this cannot succeed in becoming the greatest thread of all time until I’ve posted to it! Drats. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008/13 "2007-06-30T09:42:02Z")
It’s been done. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008/14 "2007-06-30T11:15:21Z")
Betcha one of those blips will happen where it’ll get posted when you’ve only got it half written and the subject line has a typo you were going to fix that changes the sense of it. Betcha. You just wait. You’ll see. Betcha it’ll say something about “Really unusually big boots”. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008/15 "2007-06-30T13:23:08Z")
[QUOTE=Encinitas] I will subscribe to this proposed thread! When can we expect final product rollout? [/QUOTE] Oh, I’m waiting for the exact right and perfect time. 8:22 CDT on a Saturday is not it. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008/16 "2007-06-30T14:33:44Z")
[QUOTE=bigbabysweets2000] Fools, this cannot succeed in becoming the greatest thread of all time until I’ve posted to it! [/QUOTE] Don’t worry, this isn’t the greatest thread in the world. It’s just a tribute to it. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008/17 "2007-06-30T14:35:35Z")
[QUOTE=ultrafilter] Don’t worry, this isn’t the greatest thread in the world. It’s just a tribute to it. [/QUOTE] I thought this was the pre-release test run - to get audience reaction in case it has to be recut and reedited ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008/18 "2007-06-30T20:47:26Z")
If it doesn’t have SPECIAL, third-person isometric, and turn-based, this thread is gonna blow. ---
**Author:** ![essell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/34f0e0/32.png) [@essell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/essell)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2007, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008/19 "2007-06-30T21:08:47Z")
[QUOTE=Happy Scrappy Hero Pup] If it doesn’t have SPECIAL, third-person isometric, and turn-based, this thread is gonna blow. [/QUOTE] Right now, I’d love something that would blow. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2007, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008/20 "2007-07-01T00:50:36Z")
Oh it’ll involve blowing _and_ sucking, without blowing _or_ sucking. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-man-do-i-have-the-greatest-thread-topic-of-all-time/410008.md?page=2)