# Oh, My Freaking God! (Looong!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 13, 2003, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128 "2003-07-13T07:55:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 137
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/2721 "2003-10-08T12:12:03Z")
_reaches into box marked October 8 and throws confetti joyously_ ~\* `~@/~* ~\` _+ ~_ `~@/~* ~\` _+ ~_ `~@/~* ~\` _+/~_ ~` _+ **Happy Birthday Dave!** /~_ ~` _+ ~_ `~@/~* ~\` _+ ~_ `~@][COLOR=teal]/~* ~\` _+[/COLOR]~_ `~@ /~* ~\` _+ ~_ `~@/~* ~\` \*+ ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/2722 "2003-10-08T13:35:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Joyously thrown by **Simple Dreamer** \* > \*\* > > ~\* `~@/~* ~\` _+ ~_ `~@/~* ~\` _+ > ~_ `~@/~* ~\` _+/~_ ~` _+ > **Happy Birthday Dave!** > /~_ ~` _+ ~_ `~@/~* ~\` _+ > ~_ `~@][COLOR=teal]/~* ~\` _+[/COLOR]~_ `~@ /~* ~\` _+ ~_ `~@/~* ~\` \*+ \*\* Girl, YOU’ve got a good hand of throwing! Psst, \*\*Wyatt? \*\* You didn’t see an bad-tempered aardvark here somewhere, did you? With a pink rosette tied to its snout? The zookeeper warned me he would get VERY grumpy once the sedation wore off. I’m beginning to think it was a bad idea to borrow it. Lord knows how it’ll respond to the firecrackers, tonight. Sorry about that, **Davebear**. ☹ You’ll get your present later. It was an… ehhmm…a very big bottle of Champagne. Yeah, that was what it was. Brut. Yeah. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/2723 "2003-10-08T13:52:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by if6was9 \* > \*\*IRL, YES, it is your birthday. But the board seems to lag about 10 minutes behind… 😕 \*\* I never noticed that, before, but you’re right. How odd. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > \*\*It’s less physical work, does that count for something? \*\* Not unless the physical labor was really strenuous and/or nasty. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > **I sent them, you didn’t get them? :eep:** No. Maybe you better re-send them. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > \*\*[Marilyn Monroe] > > Happy Birthday to you, > happy birthday to you, > Happy Birthday Mr. President, > Happy Birthday to you! > > [/Marilyn Monroe] > > How’s that for a sneak peek?\*\* Yummm! But, if I have to be president to get that kind of treatment, it just ain’t worth it. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by if6was9 \* > \*\*Jaade, were you wearing that low-cut sparkly evening gown when you sang that? \*\* Not for long. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tanookie \* > \*\*Oh and since I hate spending the time and effort and brain power to do any special coding … this is just for the one and only **Davebear**! > > Happy Happy Happy Happy Birthday Birthday! > Happy Happy Happy Happy Birthday Birthday! > Happy Happy Happy Birthday! > Happy Birthday to you! \*\* Wow! Thank you. I’m honored that you would invest the effort for my birthday. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maureen \* > \*\*Happy Birthday, dear one. :smooch: Go ahead, open your present. What’s your favorite frosting? The girls and I are waiting… **Jaade, Salem, sorella**? gonna help me lick it off??? I predict bliss out in…um…just under 1 minute. \*\* Thanks, Mama Mo. But, I don’t think you want to smear frosting on this hairy old body. That would be kinda gross. “Waiter! There’s food in my hair!” > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Salem \* > **Dave!!! Happppppppppy Birthday!!! > We’re the same age now, right? It’s darn good to be 39 again, ain’t it? 😃** [J. Benny]_Rochester!_[/J. Benny] > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Salem \* > \*\*Wonder what Ronnie would think about this… \*\* [Ronnie] Weeeell…Mommie? What _do_ we think about this? [/Ronnie] > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Salem \* > \*\*I have warmed up my tongue and am ready to do my birthday duty. Shall I start at that spot just a bit below and behind the ear and work my way down? \*\* Ooh! Yes, please! _shiver_ > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Salem \* > \*\*Wellesley Pond stories, though, might not be appropriate even here. Let’s just say that the great outdoors has an \*invigorating \* effect on me and I’ll leave the rest up to your very capable imaginations… \*\* Aaaawww! Boooo! We want a story! We want a story! We want a story! > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Optihut \* > \*\*Happy Birthday, Dave! \*\* Thanks, dude! > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by peritrochoid \* > \*\ ***DAAAAAAAAAVVE!!!** > **Happpppyyy Burthdaaaaayyyy!!** > > Dude, I hope it’s a GREAT one! Do they let ya walk around town naked all day on birthdays, like they do here? One piece of advice if you’re out-and-about while naked: avoid heavy machinery with pinch hazards. 🙂 \*\* Thanks! But, no, they don’t let ya walk aroud nekkid on your birthday, around here, thank god. There are waaaaaay more people I’d rather **not** see nekkid than there are ones I _would_ like to see nekkid. It’s too cold here, anyway. And, you _know_ what cold does to “the boys”. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Simple Dreamer \* > \*\*_reaches into box marked October 8 and throws confetti joyously_ > > ~\* `~@/~* ~\` _+ ~_ `~@/~* ~\` _+ > ~_ `~@/~* ~\` _+/~_ ~` _+ > **Happy Birthday Dave!** > /~_ ~` _+ ~_ `~@/~* ~\` _+ > ~_ `~@][COLOR=teal]/~* ~\` _+[/COLOR]~_ `~@ /~* ~\` _+ ~_ `~@/~* ~\` \*+ \*\* Ooh! Pretty! Thanks, Dream Girl! It’s a lot of work, ain’t it? > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maastricht \* > \*\* Psst, \*\*Wyatt? \*\* You didn’t see an bad-tempered aardvark here somewhere, did you? With a pink rosette tied to its snout? The zookeeper warned me he would get VERY grumpy once the sedation wore off. I’m beginning to think it was a bad idea to borrow it. Lord knows how it’ll respond to the firecrackers, tonight. \*\* I heard that! I ain’t deaf, yet! And, that better not have been Nomaardvark! I thought you’d gotten him a mate. Or a custom-fitted carrying case. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maastricht \* > \*\*Sorry about that, **Davebear**. ☹ You’ll get your present later. It was an… ehhmm…a very big bottle of Champagne. Yeah, that was what it was. \*\* Hmmm. Okay…you wanna pop my cork for me? > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maastricht \* > **Brut.** I am **not!** ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/2724 "2003-10-08T14:01:40Z")
> [@](#): > > Ooh! Pretty! Thanks, Dream Girl! It’s a lot of work, ain’t it? But you’re worth the extra work **Dave**. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/2725 "2003-10-08T14:08:44Z")
psst. Dave. No one’s gonna believe you’re 39 if you’re making Jack Benny jokes… Happy Birthday!!! ::breaks into song… The best is yet to come, and Dave, won’t it be fine!:: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/2726 "2003-10-08T15:41:21Z")
giggle found your … giggle … friend from the zoo, …giggle… Maastricht … giggle … he’s not in a … giggle … bad mood … giggle … at all … he’s … giggle giggle … over _here_ …giggle ha ha giggle giggle… cleaning up … giggle giggle … my … _hey, now_ … giggle … personal typos … giggle … bwahahahahahahaha … _not there!_ **editors note: _of Course all the above giggles were giggled in a Very Manly way … quite Manly giggles, every single one of them!_** ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/2727 "2003-10-08T16:20:02Z")
_comes in an quietly hands out the tootlers and cute little pointed paper hats from the box **Maastricht** brought … 1 little pointy hat for each guy, **3** little pointy hats to each **D.Bear Babe** _ ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/2728 "2003-10-08T16:22:39Z")
announcer voice … ahem … ahem … me me me me me … ahem ahem… [volume=1] test test [volume=13] Attention Everyone …one … one …_one_ We Have an Announcement to Make!!! …ake… ake …_ake_ …ok … that got old fast… Will the person who owns the Bright Red 1977 Cadillac Convertable … [hand over mike]\*Wow … I sound Just like one of those announcer-radio guys on this thing!!! This is really cool! … but wait … That wasn’t what we were supposed to be announcing! [on stage directors head-set … _cue the dancing girls!_] [/hand on mike] Attention Everyone … Babes, Men, Pit Vipers, Aardvarks, Geeks, Scholars, Propeller Heads, and Lurkers Everywhere … [hand on mike] [on stage directors head-set…_Cue the drum roll_] [/hand on mike] We Have a Very Important Occasion to announce… ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/2729 "2003-10-08T16:24:15Z")
[on stage director’s head-set … cue confettii] It’s **D.Bear’s** Birthday today!!! * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * - - - - - - Happy Birthday **D.Bear**!!! \* \* \* \* \* \* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/2730 "2003-10-08T16:31:33Z")
Brought to you by **Rocky, If 6, and Maureen** with some help from **Wyatt** [deeper announcer voice] and there is a Very Special Award for this occasion!!! To you, **D.Bear** **hands the big guy a man sized tissue** From All of us, near and Far, winging it’s way to you, via the magic of On-Line shopping … . . . . . . We’d Like to Present to you … . . . . . The most Fitting award we could imagine … . . . . \*_pauses for a moment … not for drama, but because he’s completely distracted by the bouncy jiggly giggly dancing **D.Bear Babes** … now That’s a Lot o’ boobage!_ . . . . We’d Like to present you with … . . Your . Very . Own . Spork!!! . . no, wait, that’s not it … _shuffle papers … shuffle papers_ _whispering … sorry **D.Bear** you’re gonna have to go out to Taco Bell and pick up your own spork …_ Because we have, winging it’s way to you, **In Real Life … no Cyber gift this …** . . . **Your Very Own _Bright Purple_ P I M P … H A T!!!** ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/2731 "2003-10-08T16:34:47Z")
Oh, just imagine the respect you’ll receive as you go tooling around town in THIS!!! ![Yup, we really all chipped in to buy you this]() This Beautiful Purple Pimp Hat!!! You’ll be the envy of everyone at every dope fest you attend … and just imagine the awe of the folks at your next company drunk-fest! When you get waited on first in line with your Fabulous hat that just Says … “Babes in Blues Bars Dig Me!” ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/2732 "2003-10-08T16:36:39Z")
::leafs through well-thumbed copy of “Care And Feeding Of Your Aardvark”, chapter “Aardvarks in Love”:: ehhmm… \*\* Wyatt…\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/2733 "2003-10-08T16:39:14Z")
That’s right, or magnificent stud and _Sensei_ We Actually DID do this, Just For You! This fabulous hat comes complete with HUGE fancy feather and a terrific amount of chutzpah … and it is ALL Yours, **D.Bear** From all of us, here in **OMFG** land! Thank you Theresa… Dessert, on the other hand, will be contributed by individual contributors, The boys and I will not be contributing … _grin_ but I’ve already claimed the video rights… So, **D.Bear** _pauses to hand the big guy another tissue, to dry his eyes_ THIS IS YOUR BIRTHDAY LIFE! CONGRATULATIONS! [end announcer voice] cough cough … wow, that’s tough on the throat uh… happy birthday, **D.Bear** ---
**Author:** ![ShotgunZen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@ShotgunZen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShotgunZen)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/2734 "2003-10-08T16:41:17Z")
!@#%^&\*()\_+=~ZV#^&@%(O !@#%^&\*()\_+=~ZV#^&@%(O !@#%^&\*()\_+=~ZV#^&@%(O Hummmmmm that doesn’t that look like confetti does it? Sorry I’m so late to the party folks. Sometimes I get seduced by the technology. (today it was color), and sometimes there’s WORK to be done first thing in the morning. Shesh these people… Happy B-day Dave, and you’re right about the icing thing > [@](#): > > Thanks, Mama Mo. But, I don’t think you want to smear frosting on this hairy old body. That would be kinda gross. > > “Waiter! There’s food in my hair!” However, having a similar problem I have sought and found a solution. Honey powder. It’s dry and applied with a feather. Still yummy to lick off, but not nearly as sticky and messy for us…generously furred guys. There’s still a lot of ththththpitttt-ing of hair though. 🙂 > [@](#): > > Origionally quoted by Rocky > A hearty welcome to you, ShotgunZen! Actually, as a prized student of The Sensei, I’m feeling quite threatened by your natural skill. From all indications, you’ll fit in quite well. Assuming, that is, that you can pass the Wyatt’s initiation rituals. What? They didn’t tell you that was included? Oh, man! Good luck!! Wyatt’s initiation rituals don’t concern me nearly as much as they probably should. You see I’m insane, but luckily I’m one of the happy kind 🙂 PS. My natural skills have nothing to do with posting wink Oh and don’t EVEN get me started about my unnatural skills! PPS. About my posting skills, Fear not soon enough I’ll do something to display my ineptivity. Like forgetting to bold someones name in a post etc… 🙂 **Jaade** I’ll gladly help lick off the frosting but the aforementioned honey powder doesn’t make such a mess on the sheets (Yikes I must be getting old, since when did the condition of … well anything… afterwards become a consideration?) I’ll be more than glad to watch you eat ice cream, at least until the smoke obscures my vision. MMMMMmmmmmm **Jaade** in a sparkly red dress singing… I’ll be back in an hour or so… **Maureen** I wouldn’t instigate you even on a dare. If I ever appear to have instigated you rest assured that it was in fact a typo induced by solar flares, and an omission of logic on my behalf. Unless you REALLY want to be instigated that is 🙂 Random thought… **Simple Dreamer** … Is a gift of new shoes appropriate on a first date? **Wyatt** those are some extremely manly giggles you have there And a thought about Aanold being elected. Back in the 80’s I saw a poster in a little Mexican restaurant. It was Ronnie in full cowboy regalia. Hat, boots, chaps, bandana, with gun drawn and pointed at the camera. The caption read El Presidente de los United States. No wonder other countries think we’re crazy 🙂 **Dave** I’m extremely envious of your purple pimp hat. Where can this stylish headgear be purchased? Tell the studio audience\*\* Wyatt\*\* ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/2735 "2003-10-08T16:43:13Z")
[Or perhaps THIS hat…](http://www.pimphats.com/pimphats_03hats_bdp.htm) That Dave is a BAAAD Mother F… [sup]Shut yo’ mouth![/sup] I’m just talkin’ 'bout Dave. Well, we can dig it! ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/2736 "2003-10-08T16:48:07Z")
ahem … fixed link[Yup, we really all chipped in to buy you this](http://www.pimphats.com/pimphats_03hats_bdp.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/2737 "2003-10-08T16:50:54Z")
**ShotgunZen** , you musta missed the part where I’m married. So I wouldn’t know about the appropriateness of a first date shoe gift. 😉 Yay **Dave**! Happy happy birthday. _blows kiss_ Many, many more to you. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/2738 "2003-10-08T16:51:16Z")
Ya know… I just noticed… That woman in the ad… WHAT is all over her mouth and boobage??? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/2739 "2003-10-08T16:51:22Z")
Happy Birthday, dear one. Actually, the hat is from everyone in the thread. And \*\*Salem, White Ink, Dreamer, tanookie, Jaade, sorella, Optihut, \*\* and whoever else I’ve forgotten (sorry) were all pivotal in the whole Operation PPH (as it is now known to the **D’bear** Birthday Conspiracy Club). Enjoy. And, we want pics. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![White\_Ink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@White\_Ink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Ink)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2003, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/2740 "2003-10-08T17:39:54Z")
I think it is now time for the Official Birthday Can Can. Youse other DBear babes, please slip into the fishnets, dancing heels and poufy can can skirts that were deposited on yer doorsteps in the wee hours this morning. Ready? Okay _cues the musicians…_ anda one, anda two anda get. your. kick. up! **cancan madness** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=136) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=138)