# Oh, My Freaking God! (Looong!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 13, 2003, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128 "2003-07-13T07:55:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 36
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/701 "2003-08-21T17:05:04Z")
“Lemme 'splain. No. Is too big. Lemme sum up.” You are hardly an innocent waif. Your love life is not mine to direct, so starting a Volume II seems, to me, a bit presumptuous on my part. I was merely suggesting YOU may want to start a Volume 2. I try not to speculate on other people’s love lives, although I definitely backslide. So I will not take bets on which turn your amorous adventures will take next. I think that’s answered those questions, yes? You’ll have to forgive the rapid fire approach. Too little sleep, way too much caffeine. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/702 "2003-08-21T17:36:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mipiace \* > \*\*Just to give you a reason to smack Mipiace again Dave. I know how much you like to make me your target. > > Of course it’s perfectly okay for the 40 or so other topics of conversation that got changed throughout this thread by everyone else but I understand Dave. Feel free to vent all you want on me. That is what I am here for. \*\* Oh, is that why you’re here? I’ve been wondering. Nice of you to volunteer. 😉 See? This is how all our previous difficulties started; miscommunication. I didn’t smack you; I actually _agreed_ with you, if you look closer. The puzzlement, and that’s all it was, was directed at **White Ink**. So, I’d appreciate it if you’d stop trying to make me look like some kind of ogre. There’s already enough resemblance, as **tanookie** can verify. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maureen \* > \*\* “Lemme 'splain. No. Is too big. Lemme sum up.” You are hardly an innocent waif. Your love life is not mine to direct, so starting a Volume II seems, to me, a bit presumptuous on my part. I was merely suggesting YOU may want to start a Volume 2. I try not to speculate on other people’s love lives, although I definitely backslide. So I will not take bets on which turn your amorous adventures will take next. I think that’s answered those questions, yes? You’ll have to forgive the rapid fire approach. Too little sleep, way too much caffeine. \*\* No, I don’t want to start a new “volume”. That would encourage people who haven’t been along for the whole ride to jump aboard and say stupid things because they don’t know the history. But, that explanation of yours is lame. You had something more specific in mind, when you wrote that. I know you; you have an evil, lascivious mind. It’s one of the things I like about you. So, what was it? ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/703 "2003-08-21T17:51:40Z")
**Davebear** , you shameless flatterer. I’m blushing. But no, I truly meant nothing more than that. In the words of Freud, “sometimes a cigar is JUST a cigar.” Or was that Monica Lewinski? And I stand behind making this a permanent thread. I’m having way too much fun with you. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/704 "2003-08-21T19:01:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maureen \* > **Davebear, you shameless flatterer. I’m blushing. But no, I truly meant nothing more than that. In the words of Freud, “sometimes a cigar is JUST a cigar.” Or was that Monica Lewinski?** A cigar is NEVER just a cigar; Freud was lying. But, I’ll have to try that method of flavoring a cigar, one of these days. > [@](#): > > \*\*And I stand behind making this a permanent thread. I’m having way too much fun with you. \*\* Wouldn’t _that_ give some folks conniptions? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/705 "2003-08-21T19:30:35Z")
> [@](#): > > Wouldn’t that give some folks conniptions? Well, yes, but screw 'em if they can’t take a joke. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Ink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@White\_Ink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Ink)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/706 "2003-08-21T19:56:54Z")
White Ink cannot be bothered to do anything, maybe White Ink should move to Apathylandia. Anyhow for demographics purposes, please place White Ink in a US Coastal Metropolitan area. White Ink is happy to discuss Davebears lovelife, or drinks, or otherthings in this thread. White Ink will happily stop referring to self in 3rd person, right now!\* until the next time of course… ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/707 "2003-08-21T20:33:23Z")
\ ***raises hand** Count me in! I’m voting _YES_ on the **OMFG-DaveBear** permanent “slow motion chat room” thread!!! > [@](#): > > _originally by **Maureen** _ > Well, yes, but screw 'em if they can’t take a joke. [/ability to take a joke] ok… if That’s what it takes … > [@](#): > > _originally by **DaveBear** _ A cigar is NEVER just a cigar … Why, why, why … THAT would be like calling a precious cigarette in one’s own chosen favorite brand … merely a nicotine delivery system! _gasp_ > [@](#): > > - originally by **DaveBear** \*That would encourage people who haven’t been along for the whole ride to jump aboard and say stupid things because they don’t know the history. Thank Goodness we’re Not making rules against those of us who Have been along for the whole ride saying stoopid things! I could end up severly limited here! > [@](#): > > _originally by **DaveBear** _ For instance, I would have liked to kiss Monica, just once, to see how it was … And, there you would have been, experiencing casual-meaningless kissing and _all_ we would have heard about it was “and we didn’t make it to dessert…” _sitting the legendary man right down_ **D.Bear** you have been giving Entirely TLI for the tastes of your long time readers!!! [/ scolding] > [@](#): > > _originally by **DaveBear** _ But, I’ll have to try that method of flavoring a cigar, one of these days. Uh … we ARE talking two different Monicas, here, aren’t we? Cause if you wanted to kiss That Monica, just to find out … euuuuwwww … please DON’T tell me! And as for having Her flavor your cigars ??? was it just me, or did anyone Else wonder what the free world was coming to, if that was the best looking groupie that a President of the United States could get!!! Took ME right out of the running for the office, I’ll tell you! cool and everything … but … since 2003 ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/708 "2003-08-21T20:38:51Z")
Considering the attractiveness of said president, Wyatt, I’ll venture a yes. Also considering what her ‘duties’ were it wasn’t like he had to look at her all that often. We’re circling this thing into SnS territory! Dave’s threads are coming back to haunt him. ---
**Author:** ![Optihut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/edb3f5/32.png) [@Optihut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Optihut)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/709 "2003-08-21T22:32:27Z")
I don´t know, I think Clinton was rather handsome and could have done much better. Oh and it´s great you´re back **Dave** and with good advice as well. If I am not too much of a chicken, I´ll try the kissing next time. After all, it cannot be worse than the previous dates I screwed up by - probably - being too reserved. The big problem I had in the past was, that I was thinking “Hey, this is going great, I don´t want to ruin anything.” Unfortunately, by not kissing her and not risking a slap in the face and a shocked look, I never had the chance for any kind of relationship and thus, the best woman in my life slipped away from me. _sigh_ Oh, as for Europe, I usually take the evasive “I am from continental Europe” answer, but I guess it´s not much of a secret that I am from Germany. Right now, I am studying electrical engineering in Aachen. As I mentioned before, it´s a city crammed with engineering students, so the women-men ratio drastically shifted in a very negative direction… Not to mention the cute women to men ration even 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Optihut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/edb3f5/32.png) [@Optihut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Optihut)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/710 "2003-08-21T22:35:41Z")
Oh and of course we cannot let this thread die in favour of a “OMFG, Volume 2”, as “Sparky” would win in that case 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2003, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/711 "2003-08-21T23:55:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maureen \* > \*\*Well, yes, but screw 'em if they can’t take a joke. \*\* Nah. I don’t screw anyone who can’t take a joke. Not more than once, anyway. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by White Ink \* > \*\* White Ink cannot be bothered to do anything, maybe White Ink should move to Apathylandia._\* Maybe **White Ink** should move to a white piece of paper. Then no one would notice her, and she wouldn’t _have_ to do anything. > [@](#): > > \*\*Anyhow for demographics purposes, please place White Ink in a US Coastal Metropolitan area. \*\* There ya’ go, **Optihut**! She narrowed it down for ya’, with engineering grade precision, to only a little over 3,000 linear miles of coastline. The rest should be easy. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wyatt \* > **Thank Goodness we’re Not making rules against those of us who Have been along for the whole ride saying stoopid things! I could end up severly limited here!** Well, we make allowances for your limitations. And, no, once you’ve posted to about five pages of the same thread, you’re allowed to say stupid things. > [@](#): > > \*\* And, there you would have been, experiencing casual-meaningless kissing and _all_ we would have heard about it was “and we didn’t make it to dessert…” _sitting the legendary man right down_ **D.Bear** you have been giving Entirely TLI for the tastes of your long time readers!!! [/ scolding]\*\* Well, I _am_ a Libra, after all! I did the WAAAAYYY TMI thing a while back, so now I have to balance that out. Besides, there wouldn’t have been anything to tell, except how she kissed. It certainly wasn’t going anywhere beyond that. > [@](#): > > \*\* Uh … we ARE talking two different Monicas, here, aren’t we? Cause if you wanted to kiss That Monica, just to find out … euuuuwwww … please DON’T tell me! And as for having Her flavor your cigars ??? was it just me, or did anyone Else wonder what the free world was coming to, if that was the best looking groupie that a President of the United States could get!!! Took ME right out of the running for the office, I’ll tell you! \*\* Yes, we certainly ARE talking about two different Monica’s! And, no, it wasn’t just you. But, I don’t think it was the best he could do, either. I think he has just always had lousy taste in women. Look who he married! And, that dog from Arkansas that sued him. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tanookie \* > **Considering the attractiveness of said president, Wyatt, I’ll venture a yes.** I disagree. Even Nixon got better looking women than that. It’s not the man that counts, it’s the office. > [@](#): > > **Also considering what her ‘duties’ were it wasn’t like he had to look at her all that often.** Good point. But, it’s always more pleasant to look down and see an attractive face down there, than an unattractive one. > [@](#): > > \*\*We’re circling this thing into SnS territory! Dave’s threads are coming back to haunt him. \*\* Heh! They don’t haunt me, but there is a certain person of official status on this board who might have nightmares about it. 😃 > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Optihut \* > \*\*Oh and it´s great you´re back Dave and with good advice as well. If I am not too much of a chicken, I´ll try the kissing next time. After all, it cannot be worse than the previous dates I screwed up by - probably - being too reserved. The big problem I had in the past was, that I was thinking “Hey, this is going great, I don´t want to ruin anything.” Unfortunately, by not kissing her and not risking a slap in the face and a shocked look, I never had the chance for any kind of relationship and thus, the best woman in my life slipped away from me. _sigh_ \*\* Well, you _know_ to ask permission, right? I wouldn’t want to be responsible for ruining your date, because I didn’t make sure of that. Either verbally (keep it simple! “I’d like to kiss you” or “May I kiss you?”) or by eye. You know about the eye-flick, right? (Sorry if you know all this. I just don’t want to assume anything that could lead to face-slapping.) And, as always, timing is everything. > [@](#): > > \*\*Oh, as for Europe, I usually take the evasive “I am from continental Europe” answer, but I guess it´s not much of a secret that I am from Germany. Right now, I am studying electrical engineering in Aachen. As I mentioned before, it´s a city crammed with engineering students, so the women-men ratio drastically shifted in a very negative direction… Not to mention the cute women to men ration even \*\* Must be a great place for girls who like geeky guys to get laid. Do they run extra buses from nearby cities, on the weekend? 😉 > [@](#): > > **Oh and of course we cannot let this thread die in favour of a “OMFG, Volume 2”, as “Sparky” would win in that case 😉** Well, there’s a difference between dying from lack of interest, and killing it off for no reason. I suppose he/she/it (anyone have a clue?) has a point, in that the original purpose of the thread has either been met or never will be, depending on how you look at it. But, this ain’t GQ or GD. So, as long as we’re still having fun (more or less), why kill it? ---
**Author:** ![Optihut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/edb3f5/32.png) [@Optihut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Optihut)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/712 "2003-08-22T00:06:54Z")
Eye-flick? Well, when it comes to eyes, I can blink in confusion. For instance right now… Unfortunately I´ve been… Socially handicapped somehow. If I had had practise, I would have picked up the subtle and not so subtle hints, but no, I never did. Perhaps in the present / future, that will change… ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/713 "2003-08-22T00:58:26Z")
**Optihut,** are you one of those frustrating men who don’t know that a woman is flirting with you unless she actually starts removing her clothing in front of you? Eye flick. So a woman knows you are just about to lean in and kiss her. The intent is fairly clear. **Dave** , I will hang in this thread as long as you can keep it (excuse the expression) up. Ply me with California zinfandel, red not white, & a nice sized bathtub, and you’ll have trouble getting rid of me. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/714 "2003-08-22T01:24:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\*Great. Now, I’m “of a certain age”. I thought that phrase only applied to women “of a certain age”. > > But, I would say you’re actually _safe_ from people contacting you. You have your email address public, after all. \*\* At least to ME, you’re of a certain age. Sorry if that makes you feel old, but I have to feel younger than _somebody_! (ever since my sister said I was growing old) True, but I decided to co-opt the phrase for my own purposes. 😛 You WOULD say I’m safe just because my email address is public? I think I spot a typo… F\_X ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/715 "2003-08-22T03:28:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maureen \* > Optihut, are you one of those frustrating men who don’t know that a woman is flirting with you unless she actually starts removing her clothing in front of you? I’m pretty sure I’d take the prize in that department. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/716 "2003-08-22T05:09:12Z")
Eyeflick? ::tries to hide ignorance…then decides not to :: Anyone care to explain that to me? Thanks Maureen, for the attempt, but, how long an eyeflick? What kind? How is is distinguishable from a wink, or from the closing of eyes because the attempting far-sighted kisser tries to regain focus for being too close to the kissee? Any more tricks and pointers everybody knows of, but me and \*\*Optihut? \*\*. ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/717 "2003-08-22T05:53:44Z")
eyeflick? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/718 "2003-08-22T07:41:43Z")
woman? ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/719 "2003-08-22T10:32:08Z")
They need to publish these things… I wouldn’t know what signals to send! Don’t look at me for any help guys… now I guess I know why I thought I was flirting like crazy and Parallax just wasn’t getting the hint. No eyeflick 🙂 (Still not sure what that is either) ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2003, 12:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/720 "2003-08-22T12:04:17Z")
Eye flick: looking into her eyes then they flick to her lips. 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=35) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=37)