# Oh, My Freaking God! (Looong!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 13, 2003, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128 "2003-07-13T07:55:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 51
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1001 "2003-08-27T22:52:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mipiace \* > Hey Dave - thanks for the shampoo, it was most delightful…next time you are feeling blue, I’ll return the favor. No need to put it off, it really won’t take very long. ---
**Author:** ![peritrochoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@peritrochoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peritrochoid)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1002 "2003-08-27T22:58:59Z")
**!!!ATTENTION … ATTENTION!!!** **Robot Arm** posts the golden 1000th post _ **and** _ breaks us to page 21!! Way to go, dude! Tell 'im what he’s won, **Wyatt**! ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2003, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1003 "2003-08-27T23:49:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mipiace \* > \*\*So how do you react to a chin quiver? \*\* Well, if Mr Maureen weren’t the jealous type, I’d sweep her up in my arms, and bolt for the back room. And, keep the rest of the details to myself, as **Wyatt** would no doubt expect, by now. > [@](#): > > **[not gonna’ ask how you react to “girls” I pretty much got that figured out]** Oh, you felt that, did you? Sorry. I _tried_ to be a gentleman about it. > [@](#): > > \*\*I’m glad you got the ups and downs mastered. It isn’t so bad really…as crazy as mine is, I kind of enjoy it. It is better than being married at least better than it was for me. \*\* Well, I wouldn’t say I’ve mastered it. More like temporarily accepted it. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mipiace \* > \*\*Hey Dave - thanks for the shampoo, it was most delightful…next time you are feeling blue, I’ll return the favor. \*\* Hah! Can you spare the 15 seconds that would take? > [@](#): > > \*\*I’m curious about something you posted in another thread…you said that once a guy turns 40 if he is single and not a total loser [sic] then he is golden dating material. Really? \*\* Well, that’s what I’m told. I’m trying to believe it. I have to say, I’ve had better luck dating this time, than at any other time in my life. Not that it’s been fabulous, mind you. > [@](#): > > \*\*Any way I got off track of what I was going to ask you - what about women…you see, I will be 36 in umm…well only a few days so I am getting there but I pass regularly for 30. And I know there aren’t that many women that actually take care of their self at 40 - so what do you think, are women who are still attractive at 40 still pretty marketable? Or is it really that there are that many more single women than men at that age? (Gee - might mean I’ll have to just date younger men…) \*\* Yeah, you’d _hate_ having to date younger guys, wouldn’t you? 😉 I think it probably _does_ apply to women, as well, IF, as you say, they keep themselves looking good. Most of the women my age that I’ve seen on Match don’t meet that criteria. So, the market for the few is _extremely_ hot. > [@](#): > > \*\*I’m off to the gym so I can still look good naked at 40. \*\* Take a few pictures. We’ll be happy to let you know how close you are to achieving that goal. 😃 > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ogre \* > \*\*Read the OP, thought, “Awwww, how nice,” noticed that it was a multipager, discovered just how much of a multi-pager it was, became overcome with curiosity, and asked why. \*\* Ah. Well the simple answer is because it’s my thread. And, I like long threads. I guess the more complex answer would be along the lines of people living vicariously through me. Happy Thousandth, everyone! Just call me “the late Davebear”. ---
**Author:** ![Optihut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/edb3f5/32.png) [@Optihut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Optihut)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1004 "2003-08-28T00:02:07Z")
I thought “the late” is reserved for dead people. _confused_ ---
**Author:** ![peritrochoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@peritrochoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peritrochoid)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1005 "2003-08-28T00:05:33Z")
I think you’re right, **Optihut**. Otherwise I’m confused too. Maybe Dave started partying a bit too early today. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1006 "2003-08-28T01:31:24Z")
I didn’t know him long, but oh, how he touched me. **Davebear’s** posts were long and hard to read, with unheard of positions and a special flare for sexual innuendo. Dave’s literary prowess was delightful; his hands all over the keyboard as he brought me again and again to heights never before reached with a well-placed word. I would keep him up all night with my attempts to write a note that could not be misconstrued; but he always got me in the end. Oh, Davebear, why oh why did you have to go down like that? I wasn’t done with you yet. _gasp~sob_ ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1007 "2003-08-28T01:35:33Z")
Oh no need for mourning… only the good die young 🙂 He’s just out rounding up a chickie to be his next 1000 post/20 page mod buster 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1008 "2003-08-28T07:25:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by peritrochoid \* > \*\ ***!!!ATTENTION … ATTENTION!!!** > > **Robot Arm** posts the golden 1000th post _ **and** _ breaks us to page 21!! > > Way to go, dude! > > Tell 'im what he’s won, **Wyatt**! \*\* [announcer voice] You’ve Won a Fabulous Table Setting for 12 … from Taco Bell! That’s right, Your beautiful new table setting will include a hand matched set of 12 lovely white plastic _sporks!_ (audience oooooohhh’s) thats right, ladies and gentlemen, Why waste good eating time having to change tools? With these lovely sporks you’ll be ready to stab it, tear it, or scoop it up, all with the same finely crafted tool. It’s not a mere fork or spoon, it’s a ®_Spork_®!! And, that’s not All!!! Your table would not be complete without 12 matching _Drinking Straws!_ (audience ahhhhh’ssss) Thats Right, 12 of these babies, with fashionable red and white stripes, Each in it’s own sanitary white paper wrapper. You can scrunch the wrapper up and wet it to do caterpiller tricks, or shoot it across the room and that’s only the beginning! These fine, well crafted straws are fully able to deliver the soda of your choice to your lips \* OR\* make “parent- annoying bubbling noises!” and to go with your 12 straws … (audience gasp) You Got it! _Twenty Four_ P a p e r . N a p k i n s!!! Yes, that is Two napkins for each and every one of your guests, one for the lap and one for the mouth … or just a spare when the first one hits the floor … that is two fine Taco Bell Patented Brown paper napkins for you and each of eleven guests! Who is setting an elegant table in the future, why it’s Mister 1000th post, himself … Mr. **R o b o t . A r m**!!! Back to you, **Rocky** and **Dave** [/announcer voice] \*\*\* _woof_ ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1009 "2003-08-28T07:35:27Z")
_saunters around the room looking VERY contented and VERY VERY VERY Well bathed …_ ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1010 "2003-08-28T11:45:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Optihut \* > \*\*I thought “the late” is reserved for dead people. _confused_ \*\* Generally, yes. But rules only apply to those who are willing to follow them. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by peritrochoid \* > \*\*I think you’re right, Optihut. Otherwise I’m confused too. > > Maybe Dave started partying a bit too early today. \*\* [Closed Captioned for the pun impaired] Davebear had been hoping to have the 1,000th post in this thread, but was late, as usual. The good news is that he did _not_ miss the stirring eulogy delivered by a grief-stricken, talented, and apparently horny, **Psalex**. [/Closed Captions] > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Psalex \* > \*\*I didn’t know him long, but oh, how he touched me. Davebear’s posts were long and hard to read, with unheard of positions and a special flare for sexual innuendo. Dave’s literary prowess was delightful; his hands all over the keyboard as he brought me again and again to heights never before reached with a well-placed word. I would keep him up all night with my attempts to write a note that could not be misconstrued; but he always got me in the end. Oh, Davebear, why oh why did you have to go down like that? I wasn’t done with you yet. > _gasp~sob_ \*\* [Standing Ovation] _thunderous applause_ Bravo! Bravissima! [Standing Ovation] _sniffle_ Wow! That was…so…stirring. I’m overwhelmed. Your kind words make it hard for me to go on and on, as I usually do. Yet, I feel the need to touch you, intimately, as you have touched me. Such a sweet, gushing eulogy, I want to just drink it all in, and let it flow over me. I’m all aquiver. Perhaps if I just keep stroking the keyboard till the trembling stops, the words will come again, and we’ll be able to reach those heights you enjoy so much in unison. I feel as though your words of praise have stripped me of all my doubts, so that I stand naked before you, yet proudly erect. I barely know you, yet I feel sure I’d like to know you for a long time to come. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tanookie \* > \*\*Oh no need for mourning… only the good die young 😉 \*\* Well, I should live a long, long time then, shouldn’t I? > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wyatt \* > **12 lovely white plastic sporks! (audience oooooohhh’s)** OOOoooh! I _love_ sporks! He’s so lucky! > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wyatt \* > \*\*_saunters around the room looking VERY contented and VERY VERY VERY Well bathed …_ \*\* Down, boy! Down! No, I didn’t say sit. I said _down!_ ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1011 "2003-08-28T12:52:34Z")
You and I will be the only two people left on the planet, Dave 🙂 I figure that and sheer stubbornness have gotten me this far. 21 pages… I have yet to see a thread pass 3! ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1012 "2003-08-28T12:54:13Z")
I bet your pregnancy update thread will go longer Tanookie. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1013 "2003-08-28T13:04:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tanookie \* > \*\*You and I will be the only two people left on the planet, Dave 🙂 > > I figure that and sheer stubbornness have gotten me this far.\*\* Oh, stop! You’re a good person. You’re one of the nicest people I know. I’d be happy to have the company, but I don’t think that will be you. > [@](#): > > \*\*21 pages… I have yet to see a thread pass 3! \*\* Well, what can I say? I guess I have some kind of talent for picking popular topics. Probably helps that I let them branch off into all sorts of weirdness, too. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1014 "2003-08-28T13:16:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tanookie \* > You and I will be the only two people left on the planet, Dave 🙂 > > I figure that and sheer stubbornness have gotten me this far. 😕 What’s that mean? ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1015 "2003-08-28T13:25:16Z")
That was in response to the ‘only the good die young’ thing. It was joking sarcasm. Everyone thinks I’m so cute and sweet. I appreciate that really. Unfortunately I had to do a lot of bad things to get to the cute and sweet point. ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1016 "2003-08-28T13:47:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Psalex \* > \*\*I didn’t know him long, but oh, how he touched me. **Davebear’s** posts were long and hard to read, with unheard of positions and a special flare for sexual innuendo. Dave’s literary prowess was delightful; his hands all over the keyboard as he brought me again and again to heights never before reached with a well-placed word. I would keep him up all night with my attempts to write a note that could not be misconstrued; but he always got me in the end. Oh, Davebear, why oh why did you have to go down like that? I wasn’t done with you yet. > _gasp~sob_ \*\* WOW that even got me stirred up and given my recent track record with men, it’s probably time to look toward more feminine prospects…want a shampoo? > [@](#): > > Yeah, you’d hate having to date younger guys, wouldn’t you? I thought about it last night, the last guys I have been involved with including my ex-husband have been 42, 29, 42, 33, 35…and my crush Fernando is 43…so they kind of run the age span…the 29 yo was the pilot back in Italy…just a thang really but it was fun. And I don’t have any problem with attracting younger guys…it’s the maturity level I generally don’t click with. We are just at different life stages…I’m kind of not into the “club scene” and a lot of the late 20s crowd still seem to be doing that. I still take care of myself, I am not big on photos…I just don’t really take pictures (ask Atrael, he bugs me all the time for photos) but I will see if I can get Studmuffin to take a more recent pic. The ones I sent are a couple of years old. I think that is why people think I am younger - not because I truly look younger, it is just because I haven’t let myself go. And BTW - you know that works the same with men…a lot of 40 yr old men have the whole Spare tire thing going for them. When I see a guy like Fernando who’s still in shape and dresses nice, educated, etc…definitely turns my head! 😉 I’m glad you are having better luck this time, you will get better at it. I remember somewhere int his thread you said, “I suck at dating” but I am thinking you kind of don’t suck at dating anymore. It does take some practice but fortunately it is something that is fun to practice at! Oh and no hair? Well I’ll give you a scalp massage, those are nice too! Wyatt - you make me laugh every single day. I look forward to seeing what you will come up with next. THANKS! ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1017 "2003-08-28T15:06:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tanookie \* > \*\* … Everyone thinks I’m so cute and sweet. I appreciate that really. Unfortunately I had to do a lot of bad things to get to the cute and sweet point. \*\* Now THERE’s a Thread that will run more than 20,000 views! ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1018 "2003-08-28T15:13:56Z")
Oh, **Tanookie** , **Maureen** , and **Simple Dreamer** , you are the sweetness and light that tempers this post. While **mipiace** and I ham it up in a naughty-girl fashion- you two preserve the sugar-and-spice image that all women lay claim to. Eventually **mipiace** and I will get married and/or knocked up and we will behave likewise. Until then, please continue to remind the peanut gallery that girls are still more refined and well behaved than boys; even when we have a few drinks in us. (Gentle hugs to you, **Simple Dreamer** for having back pain; and a very very wide to you and junior, **Tanookie** , and hug to **Maureen** , - it is just so cute when she blushes!) And **Wyatt** is a riot- is he not? Our narrator/announcer/canine jester deserves a good belly rub and a job writing shtick for a couple of un-named but spent late night hosts. (Is it wrong to be attracted to a dog just because he is funny?) And **mipiace** -the-temptress, who dates a difficult man because she is woman enough for the challenge- you are one ballsy babe. Tell you what- next time the self-involved but well-accented Rogue mishandles the commitment play again, just give me a call and I will show up at the appropriate time in a sexy dress and give you a long wet kiss in his presence. Then I will disappear as mysteriously as I arrived, leaving you to grin, wipe the lipstick off your mouth, and shrug impolitely at Rogue. Divulge nothing! It never hurts to add to the this-woman-is-more-than-meets-the-eye factor. (And, as an added bonus, I will throw in a scathing look in Rogue’s direction as I stalk out) **Robot Arm** , you earned that spork. Your aim and timing is impeccable. Hold that spork up high- show the world your stuff. Good play, man, good play. _golf clap everyone_ **Optihut** and \*\* peritrochoid \*\* : your stamina is very, very sexy. You have both shown the attentiveness and staying power that makes women melt. Not many men can ride for 21 pages. (The toes, Wyatt, lick the toes) Lastly, but mostly, **Davebear**. My, how you keep our interest. Women want you, strangers flock to your post, and men are simply in awe of your popularity. What else can I say? You are a prince among thieves, a man about town, and a hard man who has been good to find. **mipiace** and I have agreed to share you, should you deign to come down south from your exalted heights and join us for a private literary romp. We the paper and you the pen, **Davebear**. And we are poised for your dictation. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1019 "2003-08-28T15:37:48Z")
_full tilt toe slurp!_ Ahm SUch a suckah fo a bit o’ flatterieh ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2003, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1020 "2003-08-28T15:41:43Z")
My goodness Psalex…now that is an offer I cannot refuse! The Studmuffin had better behave that would be a moment worthy of one of those Mastercard commercials! “the look on his face when she kisses me and walks away? - Priceless!” Oh but he isn’t the only one who can get the girls, he must have forgotten THAT little tidbit of information…LOL I think I may be developing a new crush girl! And the fun you and I can have tweaking the libidos in this thread!!! Sure Dave, just for you babe, you , me, Psalex, in the tub…do I need to say more? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=50) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=52)