# Oh, My Freaking God! (Looong!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 13, 2003, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128 "2003-07-13T07:55:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 56
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1101 "2003-08-30T14:52:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wyatt \* > **[size=1] or as they say in the horror movies … Doooon’t Go Down There!!!** Hmmm. Well, I’ve had exactly two women say that to me, so far, but never a man, before. Of course, no man has ever had _reason_ to say that to me, while the women did. Fortunately, the reasons were short-lived. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1102 "2003-08-30T14:54:18Z")
oops! ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1103 "2003-08-30T14:56:41Z")
Public Notice: **Wyatt** has received out-of-town guests, which means, proper manners dictate he give his computer over to computer-game hungry child persons, and instead take position defending his refrigerator full of sarsaparilla from them … “Have a nice glass of Water, Kids, it’s Good For You!” The oddly cool and everything … but blithering blatherer shall return to his position as “plucky comic relief” or possibly the OMFG crew member who gets eaten … and not in a good way … by the cute little alien fluffy things with the Huge Teeth … _note to possible aliens with huge teeth … eye flicks® to teeth does Not mean the crewman with no last name wishes to be devoured!_ … after the departure of the child persons who travel as entourage’ of dearest La-La friends. End public announcement. ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2003, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1104 "2003-08-30T15:01:19Z")
Oh, and **Simple Dreamer** Congratulations to you dear, I’m glad we’ve been able to bring you to So Many simultaneous Post-Gasms! ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1105 "2003-08-31T01:14:03Z")
OH MY FREAKIN GOD…you guys make me laugh so hard every day. To start with, I can’t even write in English so how the hell do you expect me to write in another language? case in point… > [@](#): > > I know this isn’t gong to make it any better btu I guess I am licky because (just ask dave) I have small boobs. . {sigh}…I may be a redhead but I am truly blonde in the brain in hear somewhere… As far as languages…I’m one of those annoying audial learners…I never take classes, I go out and learn by speaking (usually by drinking in bars with all the drunks) so I don’t necessarily get the grammar and definitely not the spelling right but I usually know how to order beer and flirt…oh well at least I know the useful shit. 😃 Thanks for the birthday wishes everyone. It was great…had a nice time and I am stil virginal…or something like it. 😉 Went out with two other couples from our days in Italy…of course none of them know what a history we have…they think we are just friends but think that a little spark just developed last night which is how we planned it all along…how nice but it wouldn’t have been proper for our reputations for me to go home with him now would it? 😛 Guess he had to go work that one out in the shower alone…btu it was nice, I remembered that we had a history, why I liked him to begin with…a lot of things… > [@](#): > > But, I did offer to lick whatever you wanted. Is that still an offer Dave? hmmmm, it is still my biurthday weekend and I do still have my birthday suit on… ---
**Author:** ![KP](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a9adbd/32.png) [@KP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KP)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1106 "2003-08-31T03:10:55Z")
> [@](#): > > I know this isn’t gong to make it any better btu I guess I am licky because (just ask dave) I have small boobs. Hmmm… am I the only one who thinks a girl makes better BTUs (read: “hotter”) when they’re licky? And when they have boobs that are comfortable on them in any position or activity? > [@](#): > > {sigh}…I may be a redhead (_sigh_) I’ve been trying so hard to swear off those since they became popular sometime in the late 80’s/early 90s. I was a fan in at least 1978, when blondes were the mindless default drool and my friends thought I had some sort of brain tumor for my liking reds. (They still question my brain health, albeit for far more substantial reasons) , but the past decade or so, redheads been so popular, both in media and mythos, that too many of them consider it s license to be willful and arbitary. I don’t mean you, of course, **miapiace** , _siete troppo astuti_. but all too often…) Personal rant: I’m not one of those hair chauvinists (Remember when ‘dark roots’ were whispered about behind a blonde’s back? Nowadays, bleaching and dyeing are so popular -and so improved- that it’s hard to recall tht once upon a time, bleaching was on a par with a boob job or toupee’ today) I don’t attribute any innate moral value to any of the various popular aesthetic traits, so I value 'naturals. I say: let a girl or guy wear contacts, falsies, glue ons, wigs… It’s just pretty, and ‘pretty’ is just a nice appearance, for whatever that’s worth, however it’s achieved. > [@](#): > > I am stil virginal Thanks. That did it. Yikes. A gal with an open mind and not-so-much wild experience is cool. But a _virgo intacta_ is so rare that it should be reserved for those who truly value it. Now where’s that pesky eraser? Yeah, I know you were joking. I’m messing with you again. You’re fun to mess with. Then again, strike that eraser. A girl who is truly fun to mess around with, as opposed to one who thinks they are god’s gift by just being there, is a treasure. I’ve had too many bad experiences with women who believe they’re the greatest because “that’s what all the guys tell them”. I blame all the men who think “you’re the best I’ve had” is synonymous with “you are better than nothing - which is what I’d get if I were [1] less-than-gushy”.) [1] Referee: Five yard penalty for proper use of the subjunctive for an irreal condition outside a pedantic or grammar thread. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1107 "2003-08-31T04:12:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mipiace \* > \*\*Is that still an offer Dave? hmmmm, it is still my birthday weekend and I do still have my birthday suit on… \*\* Why not? We’ll start a new tradition; instead of one swat for each year, as in the traditional birthday spanking, we’ll make it one lick for each year. Where would you like me to start? > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KP \* > \*\*it’s hard to recall that once upon a time, bleaching was on a par with a boob job \*\* Well, FWIW, in some areas and segments of society, a boob job is on a par with coloring one’s hair, these days. But, you can color me as another fan of redhead’s, too. Always have been. My very first crush was on a girl named Sandy, who had red hair. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1108 "2003-08-31T05:57:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > We’ll start a new tradition; instead of one swat for each year, as in the traditional birthday spanking, we’ll make it one lick for each year. Am I the only one having flashbacks to that old Tootsie Pop commercial? > [@](#): > > “Mr. Turtle, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of **mipiace**?” > > “I never made it without biting.” ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1109 "2003-08-31T14:52:29Z")
Why, **Robot Arm** , I am shocked. Did you just abandon your spork-rant in favor of flirty word play? Are you learning **Davebear** -speak or have you finally been sucked into the hot, steamy vortex that is the OMFG thread? (Our little plan worked, **mipiace** ,\*We have successfully corrupted each and every male member here at the party. Nothing like the hint of a little birthday spanking to get a rise out of ‘em. Now that we have their attention, what shall we do with them? Wait, I have an idea…) \* Come over to me, **Mipiace** ; my turn. Happy Birthday, Sugar. Now bend over… ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1110 "2003-08-31T16:41:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wyatt \* > \*\*[announcer voice] > For those of you just joining this thread, the following terms and derevations (and some deviations) will be on your entrance exam: > OMFG > “Pick up line” - lie or social grace? > Theresa > Righteous Brothers Concert - great warm up for “pick up lines”? > Blues Harp > “New Best Friend _Mark_” > How many times is smoking mentioned in the thread? > Mississippi Saxophone > Flower etiquite > The Dreaded Gauntlet of HumiliationTM > Sherri > AFter the pick-up calling etiquite > big galumphing men … appealing? > getting laid > Men’s shoes > **D.Bear** ’s shoes > Stalking > Typos > Name the aardvark > Can she tell if you think she looks _hot_ or should you tell her over and over? > Things that are “coming on too strong” on a first date… > Watertown Pizza > Casual Sex > How **Tanookie** lost her feet > How **Peritrochoid** became Rocky > and How **Wyatt** became: Grasshopper, cool and everything … but, Odd, Oddly weird, certified weird, insane, and now, a dog! > Oh… and Just How Many intelligent, attractive, and witty women have been declaired “babes” in this thread. > [/end announcer voice] \*\* 1. Oh my freaking god. 2. “Bald-faced lie” 3. Theresa: Girl met in bar, went out on a few dates with **Davebear** , but apparently decided she was no longer interested, so instead of telling him, as an adult and lady would do, she stopped returning his phone calls (and never answered any of his emails) 4. Apparently so. 5. Dr Harp, playing at the bar where **Davebea** met Theresa. A harmonica 6. Mark became **Davebear’s** best friend by encouraging him to talk to Theresa. 7. a LOT 8. Zenster’s term for the harmonica. Oddly, Theresa is also from Mississippi. (And apparently, something **Davebear** knew that Dr. Harp asked the crowd) 9. No red roses on the first date, white or pink are acceptable, but generally a flower besides a rose is preferential. 10. Being shot down and having to walk back to your table, alone. 11. Ex-girlfriend, still sharing dessert (errr…or was) 12. You may call the next day, but not too early. 13. Yes! 14. Is that an offer? If so, I accept. 15. Women judging men by the shoes they wear. 16. {b]Davebear\*\* was contemplating wearing either black or brown dress shoes on his date. (Was wearing brown shoes when they met) 17. Stalking is generally discouraged…Errr, this part I don’t remember so well, it could be a reference to how frequently **Davebear** called or thought about calling Theresa and whether she would regard that as stalking. A few girls also mentioned their experiences with stalking. 18. Typos, seriously? Which page do I start with? 19. Not picked yet, as far as I know 20. You should tell her, but NOT over and over! 21. > [@](#): > > Wyatt: > Things that are coming on too strong on a first date: > 1)offer to move to their town > 2)offer to change to their religion > 3)pledge undying love > 4)show up only wearing a towel('specially important if arriving after a long drive and 25¢ toll road) > 5)endlessly repeating, “I just can’t believe it, we’re so perfect together” > 6)repeatedly telling a hot gal she looks great > 7)offering to show her your aardvark, at least not till after you’ve established that you actually mean an Aardvark! > 8)having flowers delivered every day before the date, with just the ‘days till’ count down on the card > 9)showing up with a minister and a ring > 10)putting her on your private jet and flying her to your private mansion at the top of the hill on a tiny private island, and burning a collectable piece of art out on the patio … no, wait, that Worked in that movie… 1. 2. **Davebear** is not a fan of casual sex, but is willing to be persuaded by certain ladies here. 3. She’s pregnant! 4. His name is a geological term, but looks like a rock, and at some point Rocky caught on. 5. Let me 'splain, no, is too long, let me sum up: He was dropped on his head as a baby. 6. Tanookie, Maureen, miplace, Psalex, Simple Dreamer (Dream Girl)…did I miss anyone? That would be 5. > [@](#): > > Wyatt: > > Oh … How could I Forget? > > The rating of good tummy > Tall men with not-tall women > > The art of body shots > > bolognaious Monks > Who is the babe with Optihut in the photo > Which city had a Dope Fest that only missed setting an all-time-dopefest-attendance-record by one or two people? > Only people who sleep with men would sell tightly sealing containers … > and, of Course … > Dessert its not just for kids Any More! 1. **Davebear** is particularly fond of Harmony’s tummy. 2. \*\*Davebear is tall, Theresa was short and petite. Some people think it looks strange, or is awkward. 3. Wewt, body shots! I missed the body shots ~pouts~ 4. Nope, you lost me on that one. 5. His puppy! (But not Wyatt) 6. Err…somewhere in the NorthEast…Baltimore? Was it a MAD Dopefest? 7. Tupperware party! 8. Dessert: Sex > [@](#): > > Oh, my Gosh… > the Eye Flick! 1. Looking at someone’s lips briefly while moving in for the kiss Whew!!! I read this entire thread in three days. ~collapses~ I am so jealous that I missed the party! And **Wyatt** , what do I win?? ~J ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1111 "2003-08-31T16:42:40Z")
Sorry, PIMF! ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1112 "2003-08-31T17:09:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Robot Arm \* > \*\*Am I the only one having flashbacks to that old Tootsie Pop commercial? > > > [@](#): > > > > “Mr. Turtle, how many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of mipiace?” > > > > “I never made it without biting.” > > \*\* LOL! 😃 Personally, I prefer the other one, with the owl, who replies, “Let’s find out, shall we?” > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Psalex \* > **Why, Robot Arm , I am shocked. Did you just abandon your spork-rant in favor of flirty word play? Are you learning Davebear -speak …** _surreptitiously wipes a tear from his eye_ I’m so proud! > [@](#): > > \*\*Our little plan worked, **mipiace** , We have successfully corrupted each and every male member here \*\* Well, you’ve certainly had _some_ effect on the male members, here. If you wanna call it a corruption, it’s okay with me. > [@](#): > > \*\*Come over to me, **Mipiace** ; my turn. Happy Birthday, Sugar. Now bend over… \*\* Ohhhh, my! I’m getting a corruption, again. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > **Whew!!! I read this entire thread in three days. ~collapses~ I am so jealous that I missed the party! And Wyatt, what do I win??** Well, **Wyatt** ’s on rugrat patrol, but you win my undying respect and admiration for your determination and perseverance. 🙂 [fill-in announcer voice] **Jaade** , _ **you** _ are today’s winner! Come on down, and claim your certificate of Official Babeship! And, to celebrate your newly recognized status, your choice body shots! _Aaaaand_…your very own _Spork!_ [/end fill-in announcer voice] Yeah, we had a couple left over, so what the heck? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1113 "2003-08-31T17:44:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > Personally, I prefer the other one, with the owl, who replies, “Let’s find out, shall we?” That’s the same one, actually. After shamefully admitting his lack of self control, Mr. Turtle directs our questing hero to “Ask Mr. Owl.” Mr. Owl then conducts a truly ground-breaking experiment in Tootsie Pop lick counting. > [@](#): > > “Let’s find out. Ah-one… Ah-twoo-OO… Ah-threee.” > > \ > > “Three.” For mipiace’s sake, I trust you’ll hold out a little longer. ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1114 "2003-08-31T18:04:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > > * * * Well, **Wyatt** ’s on rugrat patrol, but you win my undying respect and admiration for your determination and perseverance. 🙂 [fill-in announcer voice] **Jaade** , _ **you** _ are today’s winner! Come on down, and claim your certificate of Official Babeship! And, to celebrate your newly recognized status, your choice body shots! _Aaaaand_…your very own _Spork!_ [/end fill-in announcer voice] Yeah, we had a couple left over, so what the heck? \*\* [/QUOTE] ~runs down the aisle, screaming loudly before bouncing up and down beside Davebear, and kissing him on the cheek repeatedly~ I’d just like to thank all the people who helped me achieve this lifelong goal of being a Davebear Babe. ~wipes a tear away~ Do I get to be the licker or the lickee? ~holds her spork proudly for all to see~ ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1115 "2003-08-31T18:12:38Z")
Thanks for those recaps, guys. They were, um, kinda helpful. So Dave stalked some girl who judged him by his shoes and then got her pregnant. Got it. No wonder why **Dave** ’s threads always go on for so long. ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1116 "2003-08-31T19:07:45Z")
Where do I begin? to even contribute to this? …I was gone for a day and what a mess I walk into…Mean Old Lady’s interpretation reminds me of the telephone game you used to play when we were kids…not completely inaccurate yet not really a lick of truth in that either…(except the shoes part maybe) unless I missed the part where Theresa got pregnant…is Theresa pregnant? only Tanookie right? and she’s missing her feet. Okay any way back to business… **Optihut:** > [@](#): > > Well, my original nationality is German and still is, although I wouldn´t mind living elsewhere, preferably in an English speaking country. Perhaps after I finish studying, I can move to Australia or Canada for some time, we shall see. Cool - so where do you live now? The cupid guy kind of sounds like that other California gubnatorial candidate but less Conan-like and more sexy…except the guy is a total goombah (that is a Italian slang for he has no fucking sense) but hey I just like listening to him…so anyway…what’s your phone number…[she purrs] As far as the muffin goes…the verdict is still out…there is no huge bump and grind going on in either of our bedrooms unless he is doing it with some other conquest and if he does that…there will be no more Mipiace in between his sheets…we’ll see what happens. We took a few steps back to get to know each other again b/c I wasn’t sure I did know him anymore. **KP** : My, my you are a cunning linguist aren’t you? Have you mastered all of the romance languages? > [@](#): > > Hmmm… am I the only one who thinks a girl makes better BTUs (read: “hotter”) when they’re licky? And when they have boobs that are comfortable on them in any position or activity? I suppose that would be a personal preference some men prefer the “grande” size models and others just what fits the body size…me I’m comfortable the way they are and they are very round and full. As a matter of fact they got squeezed recently and the idiot was amazed that they were real. If it wasn’t such a strange compliment I would have been pissed but he actually thought they were fake. I am from Florida originally where boob jobs are as common as hair dye and BTW - my red is natural although I have been known to go blonde from a bttle in the summer - I think that is my problem all those years of summer blonde has sunken into my brain and made me lose brain cells…or maybe it’s the alcohol…or the sex…or the combination…whatever, I had a good time forgetting my German grammer and my Italain spelling and however you look at it, maybe I am not all that un-licky!!! **Dave** : > [@](#): > > Why not? We’ll start a new tradition; instead of one swat for each year, as in the traditional birthday spanking, we’ll make it one lick for each year. Where would you like me to start? Mmmmm, gush…not sure I can spell that out here…could turn very pornagraphic quickly and I have corrupted enough innocent people for one birthday but that is a SPLENDID idea amico. **Psalex** : > [@](#): > > (Our little plan worked, mipiace ,We have successfully corrupted each and every male member here at the party. Nothing like the hint of a little birthday spanking to get a rise out of ‘em. Now that we have their attention, what shall we do with them? Wait, I have an idea…) You are sooo naughty you make me sizzle and tingle. I love teasing all these guys and giving them “corruptions” and most of all I adore a woman who can take charge. So you want me to bend over? your knee or the bed? **Robot Arm** Nibbles are nice but no bite marks that leave a mark tomorrow. Studmuffin would NOT understand. **Jaade** > [@](#): > > Do I get to be the licker or the lickee? Around here it generally works out to be both unless you get turned into a dog or something and then you get banished to only taking flea baths for entertainment. Holy cow, a body shot party one week, a birthday party the next and before you know it we are venturing into kinky licking/licking/licky orgies…you just never know what will happen when you start serving with Taco Bell sporks. Now I think there is a puddle beneath me but i don’t think it was left by the puppy…sorry… ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1117 "2003-08-31T19:18:03Z")
**Jaade** , Wow, I’m impressed. Nicely recapped, btw. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1118 "2003-08-31T19:49:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Robot Arm \* > \*\*That’s the same one, actually. After shamefully admitting his lack of self control, Mr. Turtle directs our questing hero to “Ask Mr. Owl.” Mr. Owl then conducts a truly ground-breaking experiment in Tootsie Pop lick counting. \*\* Dammit! You’re right. And, I was just telling someone I only forget the important stuff. Well, I guess that means that commercial was important. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Robot Arm \* > **For mipiace’s sake, I trust you’ll hold out a little longer.** Bahahahaha! Ummm…yeah! Even with a tootache and a hangover, what was it…36 or 37?..licks is just warming up. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > **~runs down the aisle, screaming loudly before bouncing up and down beside Davebear, and kissing him on the cheek repeatedly~** Please! Stop the bouncing. I just got my eyes settled back in their sockets after talking to **Dreamer**. > [@](#): > > \*\*I’d just like to thank all the people who helped me achieve this lifelong goal of being a Davebear Babe. ~wipes a tear away~ > > Do I get to be the licker or the lickee?\*\* Winner’s choice. Pick your pleasure; pick your partner. We even have a couple of ladies who might be willing to participate, if you asked them nicely enough. > [@](#): > > \*\*~holds her spork proudly for all to see~ \*\* Is there anything more moving than the sight of a girl and her spork, standing proudly before an audience, the lights gleaming off her porcelain white teeth and the shiny plastic spork? It’s just heartwrenching. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MeanOldLady \* > \*\*Thanks for those recaps, guys. They were, um, kinda helpful. So Dave stalked some girl who judged him by his shoes and then got her pregnant. Got it. No wonder why Dave’s threads always go on for so long. \*\* **Meeeanie!** How they hangin’, babe? LTNS! Yeah, that’s about the level of comprehension I’ve come to expect from you. 😃 As one of the first Official Davebear Babes, would like to do the honors of crowning the newest entrant into the ranks? > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by mipiace_ > **unless I missed the part where Theresa got pregnant** Well, if she is, **I** missed that part, too. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by mipiace_ > **I’m comfortable the way they are and they are very round and full** You have _got_ to send me a better picture, then. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by mipiace_ > \*\*Mmmmm, gush…not sure I can spell that out here…could turn very pornagraphic quickly and I have corrupted enough innocent people for one birthday but that is a SPLENDID idea amico. \*\* And, the problem with that would be…? Thank you for the compliment on my idea. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by mipiace_ > **Now I think there is a puddle beneath me but i don’t think it was left by the puppy…sorry…** Not to worry. _I’ll_ clean this one up. (Don’t say it!) ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1119 "2003-08-31T20:27:31Z")
> [@](#): > > Mipiace: > > Around here it generally works out to be both unless you get turned into a dog or something and then you get banished to only taking flea baths for entertainment. > Holy cow, a body shot party one week, a birthday party the next and before you know it we are venturing into kinky licking/licking/licky orgies…you just never know what will happen when you start serving with Taco Bell sporks. Wewt! Then I’ll have a few of each. ~takes her bottle of chilled Watermelon Pucker out of the freezer~ Who’s first? > [@](#): > > **mipiace** : > > You are sooo naughty you make me sizzle and tingle. I love teasing all these guys and giving them “corruptions” and most of all I adore a woman who can take charge. So you want me to bend over? your knee or the bed? How long do I have to wait before I’m allowed to join in? Is there a newbie grace period? ~grins~ **Simple Dreamer** , thank you! I would have posted it last night, but for some reason the hamsters completely gave up around 3:30 AM and I couldn’t read page 23. > [@](#): > > **Davebear** : > > Please! Stop the bouncing. I just got my eyes settled back in their sockets after talking to Dreamer. No bouncy? Ok, I’ll hold back for now, but I can’t promise that I won’t do it again, I’m rather known for the bouncy. > [@](#): > > Winner’s choice. Pick your pleasure; pick your partner. We even have a couple of ladies who might be willing to participate, if you asked them nicely enough. I’m taking volunteers then. **Wyatt** …come talk to me, once you get rid of all that fur. ~winks~ Lest I forget, where is that little cutie in the picture? (not the dog!) **Optihut** , come join us! And ladies too? How 'bout it **mipiace** and **Psalex** , how nicely do I need to ask? And **Davebear** , it wouldn’t be a proper initiation without you… > [@](#): > > Meeeanie! How they hangin’, babe? LTNS! Yeah, that’s about the level of comprehension I’ve come to expect from you. As one of the first Official Davebear Babes, would like to do the honors of crowning the newest entrant into the ranks? I would be honored to be crowned by the famous **MeanOldLady**. ~grins~ And I coined a phrase! “Davebear Babes” ~J ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2003, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1120 "2003-08-31T22:36:35Z")
Whoa, I’m famous? Cool. And **Davey** , nice to see you noticed I was missing. Didn’t think anyone would. Afterall, I just pop into a thread, insert a comment which _I_ think is wildly hilarious (if no one else), then leave. And on that note, it’s time for the crowning… ~::Enters in long flowing gown, ala Miss America pageants, and crowns the newest Davebear Babe::~ Wear it well, sugah. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=55) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=57)