# Oh, My Freaking God! (Looong!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 13, 2003, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128 "2003-07-13T07:55:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 59
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1161 "2003-09-03T01:09:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maureen \* > \*\*Nice and empty today, dear, looks like just you and me. I’ll turn the heat up a notch and you can tell Mama Maureen all about it. \*\* Can I join you, too? I think I need a Mama Maureen hug, today. ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1162 "2003-09-03T01:25:40Z")
{{{{{ **DaveBear** }}}}} ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1163 "2003-09-03T01:44:39Z")
Ya’ll don’t go having too much fun tonight… This girl has to go lay down because of a nasty headache. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1164 "2003-09-03T01:45:44Z")
Oh… ((((Davebear)))) Rough day, dear? ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1165 "2003-09-03T02:27:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\*Can I join you, too? I think I need a Mama Maureen hug, today. \*\* (((((((((( **Dave** )))))))))) 'samatta, sweetie, some evil woman busting your balls today? ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1166 "2003-09-03T04:00:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\*Can I join you, too? I think I need a Mama Maureen hug, today. \*\* ~hugs **Davebear** ~ Awww, poor sweetie! Join us in the hottub and tell us all about it. ---
**Author:** ![White\_Ink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@White\_Ink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Ink)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1167 "2003-09-03T05:33:25Z")
Ahhh… Civilization, good to be back. So nice to be clean. I’m highly envious of that hair washing you got, Missy. Took me three goes to get the dust out of my tresses. Looks like y’all had quite the party while I was out playing “pagan horde runs amok”. _hands out crispy snax that may or may not have been marshmallows at one time_ Thank you **Psalex** for the reminder to don clothing. I durn near forgot. Boy do I have a lot of booby freckles! My Mehndi looks like connect the dots! Anyhow, I didn’t get to try any body shots as the only person offering free drinks was the lovely man from San Mateo, California who was offering up free organic coffee every morning. I didn’t want to end up like that unfortunate woman from Albuquerque. I should have thunk\* to bring some slurpable libations. Oh well, forgot the rebar as well. **D’bear** sorry to hear that things haven’t picked up more, maybe now that autumn is upon us women’s thoughts will rurn towards nesting, and nest mates… Yay, a poll of sorts! I _heart_ polls: ---
**Author:** ![White\_Ink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@White\_Ink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Ink)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1168 "2003-09-03T05:56:47Z")
D’oh! premature! Premature! Jeez, it was only 5 days afk… anyhow… **1. Favorite food and drink:** plain pepperoni pizza, artichokes, avocados, med. rare steak — wine, good single malts, esp islays, French Martinis **2. Music most likely to accompany your commute to work:** The commute is only a mile, but could range from Garbage, Massive Attack, TMBG, to Pretenders, Elton John, or Jackson Brown, or Joe Jackson or Elvis Costello, or Papa Roach or the Deftones or Vivaldi or Dvorak or Smetana or even certain flavors or Techno like David Holmes or K&D. Certainly Folk & Bluegrass & Country will have me reaching for the dial or sharp objects to ram into my ears. **3. Favorite art (be specific) poetry, painting, photography, music, architecture, or fill in the blank:** uhh. Art junkie here. Specifically painting and stained glass and architecture. **4. Pet of choice:** All animals are good, but cats are the easiest to look after and can be left alone for 3-4 days at a time. \*\*5. Underwear: matched or jauntily mismatched? \*\* yes and yes, and occasionally commando. **6. a blurb to describe my off-board personality** IRL I am much less random. I’m sort of dowdy and undramatic in my visual presentation. I am best loved for my foul-weathered friendliness, quirky sense of humor, withering sarcasm, and my ass grande tho’ it may be. In fact, it has a wider following of admirers than I do. ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1169 "2003-09-03T11:14:39Z")
Oh, Hi! **White Ink**! We missed you and are anxiously awaiting anecdotes a la Burning Man. What was the most beautiful thing you saw; and the most outrageous? Oh, and I forgot artichokes (they aren’t in season here, yet) I may love those more than figs. (And I have a fat butt, too, for a skinny chick) ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1170 "2003-09-03T11:18:23Z")
Wow! Thanks for all the hugs, folks. It’s not a lady’s fault, though. It’s partly mine and partly just cumulative; too many bad things happening all at once, and not being able to do anything about any of them. But, I don’t want to drag that in here. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by White Ink \* > **Thank you Psalex for the reminder to don clothing. I durn near forgot. Boy do I have a lot of booby freckles! My Mehndi looks like connect the dots!** Well, clothing is still optional, here. Except in the hot tub, where it’s forbidden. So, make yourself comfortable. _reaches for his henna colored marker_ > [@](#): > > _Anyhow, I didn’t get to try any body shots as the only person offering free drinks was the lovely man from San Mateo, California who was offering up free organic coffee every morning. I didn’t want to end up like that unfortunate woman from Albuquerque. I should have thunk to bring some slurpable libations. Oh well, forgot the rebar as well._\* Too bad about the body shots. And, the rebar. 😕 What happened to “that unfortunate woman from Albuquerque”? Huh. A woman who appreciates good Scotch, a properly cooked steak, and stained glass. _And_ has an ass worth following! Sounds like another Davebear Babe has joined the ranks. (Actually, it also sounds a little like my second wife.) ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1171 "2003-09-03T13:10:02Z")
Okay Dave, you were really nice to me when I was feeling blue so I owe ya one…care for a massage? I’ll warm the oil up just right for ya’…as a matter of fact, I’ll bet several of the full bottomed ladies here (including myself) will join me. How 'bout that? That would cheer any guy up! Just you and 8 slick hands gliding all over. Sure to relax you…or something. I hope your today is much better! White Ink!! WELCOME BACK! WE MISSED YOU! ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1172 "2003-09-03T13:12:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\* Sounds like another Davebear Babe has joined the ranks. (Actually, it also sounds a little like my second wife.) \*\* Hey wouldn’t it be ironic if she WAS your second wife and neither of you realized? Did you ever see the Drew Carey episode where MiMi and Drew were having Cyber sex and never realized it was with each other because they were both using screen names? [twilight zone music starts…] ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1173 "2003-09-03T13:57:00Z")
C’mon, girls, let’s all cheer up **Davebear**. Is everyone up for an all nude rendition of “Fat Bottomed Girls” ? ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1174 "2003-09-03T13:59:49Z")
makes note in book: “8 handed warm oil massage is excellent way to refuel creativity” ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1175 "2003-09-03T14:01:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mipiace \* > \*\*Hey wouldn’t it be ironic if she WAS your second wife and neither of you realized? \*\* It occured to me. But, she’d never, ever go commando. Or, go to Burning Man or do a body shot. Thanks for the offer of the massage, but a group of eight hands would probably just feel like the rest of my life, right now; too much. And, check this out; this is my horoscope, for today. > [@](#): > > You are less optimistic and energetic than usual, dear Libra. Your mind feels sluggish. In fact, your whole body does. You’re either coming down with the flu or you are completely and thoroughly depressed. This would be a good day to take some time off. Some issues from the past may have come back to haunt you; perhaps you should address them head-on once and for all. Fabulous. As if I needed that. I would have taken the day off, if that were possible. Thanks for rubbing it in, buddy. ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1176 "2003-09-03T14:21:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\*It occured to me. But, she’d never, ever go commando. Or, go to Burning Man or do a body shot. > > Thanks for the offer of the massage, but a group of eight hands would probably just feel like the rest of my life, right now; too much. And, check this out; this is my horoscope, for today. > Fabulous. As if I needed that. I would have taken the day off, if that were possible. Thanks for rubbing it in, buddy. \*\* Well hell Dave, if you can’t hide from it at Burning man, maybe you should just attack it head on with a machete’. It’s a thought anyway. Want to borrow mine? ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1177 "2003-09-03T14:22:30Z")
Cancer: > [@](#): > > Information gleaned today might not be totally accurate, blue . Someone may simply be repeating gossip, or even making stories up out of whole cloth. Listen if you want, but don’t pass along anything you hear unless you know for a fact that it’s true. Your workload might be especially heavy, and you might have a deadline, so you have a ready-made excuse not to pay any attention! Now how accurate is mine, **Davebear** , when you know I will be spending the next 3 days sitting on my plump behind and comtemplating my navel. Horoscope, schmoroscope. ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1178 "2003-09-03T14:26:42Z")
Would a picture of [boobies](http://www.edhelper.com/AnimalReadingComprehension_54_1.html) make you feel better? ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1179 "2003-09-03T14:29:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Psalex \* > \*\*Would a picture of [boobies](http://www.edhelper.com/AnimalReadingComprehension_54_1.html) make you feel better? \*\* I don’t know about him but it made me smile !! Today, dear Virgo, you may be feeling bored and frustrated with the direction your life is taking. You feel buried under the burden of your responsibilities, with no time left to do what you really want to do. You have other interests to pursue, yet no time to pursue them. It is frustrating, to be sure. You might want to spend some time rethinking your priorities. If you are creative about your time management, you’ll be able to free up some time. Hey looks like none of us are having any fun today…did anyone think that maybe it’s all BS anyway? Let’s rebel against our horoscopes and have fun ANYWAY!! F&%\* 'em is they can’t take a booby joke. ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1180 "2003-09-03T14:36:12Z")
As the mood here in \*\*Davebear World \*\* seems rather somber today, I would recommend avoiding the horoscope section of [The Onion](http://www.theonion.com/current_horoscopes.html) at all costs. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=58) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=60)