# Oh, My Freaking God! (Looong!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 13, 2003, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128 "2003-07-13T07:55:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 62
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1221 "2003-09-04T14:59:37Z")
Me too, me too! I wear heels every day- stilettos, platforms, knee-high boots- I loooove sexy shoes. I have worn them my entire life- heels are nothing compared to pointe shoes. Standing on my toes is second nature- I feel awkward in flats- just don’t feel like I have the same walk. (stalk) And I am 5’10" in bare feet. I shamelessly put on 3" to 5" heels and dare anyone to complain about my breasts in thier face. Yes, my back may hurt one day- but for now I am almost always the first person seated at a restaurant, the first in line to be waited on, and the first person spotted at an auction. (I am also the person in the grocery store who is asked to hand people top shelf items) I used to wish I was a tiny petite little thing that stood at chest level to my man- but as I got older realized that there are advantages to every size and shape. **Wyatt** - you should have guessed that I already have that site bookmarked. I have been waiting for a reason to buy the white go-go boots. **Davebear Babes** - this is so funny. My favorite local shoestore somehow has access to the best designer shoes, and just one fashion season behind. (shoes that were on the runway 4 months ago) They carry Jimmy Choo, Blaniks, Kors, Stuart Weitzman, etc. The sexiest shoes that normally adorn the feet of supermodels are mine all mine! _laughs maniacally_ Except the store is owned by a very conservative church. And Loud gospel music is blaring; even as I tie ankle laces, zip up knee high boots, and buckle ankle straps and stalk up and down the aisles in shoes befitting a runway or red carpet. The disapproving looks from the sales ladies don’t discourage me in the least. ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1222 "2003-09-04T15:16:50Z")
**Tanookie** - we know your **Davebear Babe** -appeal lies in your fierce mama-bear attitude. Your body is presently the icon of fertility and life–giving force; your giant breasts the crowning glory of motherhood and sustenance. You don’t need heels or a cha cha to assert your womanliness. You are The Mother- we girls don’t get any more feminine or powerful than you are right now- even when we are playing dress-up. I humbly bow at your feet. (yes, you still have feet, I can see them from down her even if you can’t) ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1223 "2003-09-04T15:30:27Z")
Hey cool! I’ve noticed that height thing too. Damn, if you are 5’10" and still wear heels, you are a commanding presence! I just look men eye to eye and there is something about getting a lot more respect, it’s completely subliiminal and weird. Shoudn’t be but it happens. Same with women, If you are looking down on them, you don’t even have to act assertive, they just automatically FEEL that you are. I think it’s instictual somehow. I’m very comfortable in heels but I don’t like my toes pinched while doing it. I don’t mind flats though as long as they are sandals. No close toed flats - I feel like a librarian. ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1224 "2003-09-04T15:41:32Z")
Congratulations, **mipiace** , _cha cha cha_ You win a spork! psst… **Wyatt** Isn’t that what you meant when you said you had something you would like to give **mipiace**? Ooohh… and a little dance for **Davebear** , too- sounds like dessert is once again on the menu. Would you like a beverage or shall I just clear your dishes and dance on the table? **KP** - come back smart guy- I sense we are about to need some dry wit soon, as we have a bursting **tanookie** , a prolific **mipiace** , a freshly scrubbed and only slightly corrupted **White Ink** , a naughty doggy-cum- narrator **Wyatt** , hallowed ground about to be trod upon by **petrochroid** ,and two birthdays on the horizon: \*\*Davebear \*\* and **Simple Dreamer** , along with various and sundry references to breasts and sexy shoes. Whatcha got? Hows about a sonnet or limerick? ---
**Author:** ![peritrochoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@peritrochoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peritrochoid)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1225 "2003-09-04T15:48:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Psalex \* > \*\*And I am 5’10" in bare feet. I shamelessly put on 3" to 5" heels and dare anyone to complain about my breasts in thier face… \*\* HA! Shorty … err … I mean **Psalex** , that would put your breasts right about chest-high on me. 😉 not that I would be one to complain about having breasts in my face … but I have to squat to do that with most women. ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1226 "2003-09-04T15:51:45Z")
This crowning glory of womanhood thing is mighty darn uncomfortable and contains too many stretch marks! My giant breasts are just going to put someone’s eye out 🙂 Exactly how white is WhiteInk? I’m 5 foot 5 if I’m in shoes and I can’t wear heels to save my life. I do have one pair of platformish shoes that make me feel tall but I haven’t been able to wear them in months. I always wanted to be tall _sniff_ ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1227 "2003-09-04T17:13:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by peritrochoid \* > \*\*HA! Shorty … err … I mean **Psalex** , that would put your breasts right about chest-high on me. 😉 > > not that I would be one to complain about having breasts in my face … but I have to squat to do that with most women. \*\* OMG!! He’s tall too…did you know I have this fetish…um, uh, welll, never mind, I’ll tell you about htat in private sometime…😉 i’d tell you now if I wasn’t so excited abotu winning my very own SPORK!! WOW! I’ve never won a spork before! I’m so happy I’m just going to have to dance around the room in my ChaCha boots…does a little strip tease with the spork. But leaves the boots on. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1228 "2003-09-04T17:38:24Z")
Congrats on hitting 1K+ Mipiace. 🙂 LOL I’m thinking it’ll turn a new decade before I hit that mark. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1229 "2003-09-04T17:39:38Z")
BTW, I’m curious… how tall are all the guys in this thread? ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1230 "2003-09-04T18:42:32Z")
Ha ha- does anyone else here get a visual when reading others’ posts? Right now I am picturing our ample-breasted **tanookie** as a wreathed fertility goddess atop a lush green mountain wearing sneakers. And **mipiace** as a stunning Heather Locklear/Melrose place style ball-busting professional that all the men in the office wistfully watch walk away. And \*\* peritrochoid \*\* grinning whilst imagining himself at a WNBA meet and greet, where finally, even the giant among men is surrounded by eyeball-endangering boobs. And **KP** tearing around a Borges-like library, carefully choosing a language with which to shape balloon-animal fashion into a olive-branch laced bouquet for **mipiace**. **Simple Dreamer** is sweetly humming to herself as she carefully frosts a beautifully prepared cake,worries over the correct number of candles, and ponders if birthday cake is the dessert that **Davebear** is dreaming of, or if he is expecting pie instead. And **Wyatt** morphing from naughty dog into suave and sexy, spats-wearing gangsta style stud, about to prowl though the party again, this time with his nose a little higher off the ground, but still poked into inappropriate places. And **Davebear** at a white clothed restaurant table, smugly tucking his napkin into his collar, a fork (spork?) in each hand, ready for his just desserts. (And all the while, Freud runs though each scene, busily taking note of the haphazard suggestions of phallic and yonic symbols that have impregnated this thread for about the last 10 pages) ---
**Author:** ![peritrochoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@peritrochoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peritrochoid)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1231 "2003-09-04T19:06:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Simple Dreamer \* > \*\*BTW, I’m curious… how tall are all the guys in this thread? \*\* I’m a tall, skinny dude. My drivers license says 6’-3", but it’s said that since I was 16, so I’m probably somewhere between there and 6’-4". ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1232 "2003-09-04T19:22:46Z")
**Psalex** , I’m hurt. Not even a mention? I know I haven’t been around alot lately, but jeez… **Dave** , I’m gonna cry. ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1233 "2003-09-04T19:41:40Z")
And **Maureen** , pictured feminine and steadfast in WWII nurse uniform, attending calmly to the infirm, her gentle and benevolent expression softened by that fuzzy aura halo-thingy that directors always surround nurses with when seen through the eyes of a wounded soldier? ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1234 "2003-09-04T19:45:03Z")
:smack: ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1235 "2003-09-04T20:02:12Z")
Wow. Overkill, perhaps… ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1236 "2003-09-04T20:33:33Z")
Yeah, well, you scared me a little bit. I cannot stand to see anyone cry. ---
**Author:** ![peritrochoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@peritrochoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peritrochoid)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1237 "2003-09-04T20:45:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Psalex \* > **Ha ha- does anyone else here get a visual when reading others’ posts?** Ah, yes. The visuals. Precisely why I keep coming back. 😉 Well, there _was_ that visual I got of **Wyatt** and his sexy boots that haunted me most of the morn. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1238 "2003-09-04T20:46:29Z")
Awww…thanks. I’ve been a little oversensitive lately. Turning 37 has caused me to wonder if I’m past the “babe” category and will forever more be thought of as “FBMC’s Mom”… ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1239 "2003-09-04T21:00:37Z")
**Davebear** , time to get out that [naughty nurse](http://www.akrondesign.com/Retail%20Costumes/Women/NaughtyNurse.html) outfit you bought for me. Maureen wants to borrow it. 😉 (No one wants to do me, and I didn’t pout at all.) _goes to corner to curl up and sulk_☹ ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1240 "2003-09-04T21:07:19Z")
I don’t really have a picture of anyone in my mind. Unless you’re someone I’ve met (Davebear) or people I’ve seen web pages for. I do attach little facts to people’s handles as I learn them along the way but no pictures… sorry 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=61) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=63)