# Oh, My Freaking God! (Looong!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 13, 2003, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128 "2003-07-13T07:55:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 63
**Author:** ![peritrochoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@peritrochoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peritrochoid)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1241 "2003-09-04T21:21:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Psalex \* > \*\*(No one wants to do me, and I didn’t pout at all.) \*\* umm … you’ve struck me speechless :dubious: > [@](#): > > \*\*_goes to corner to curl up and sulk_☹ \*\* There, there. Rocky’s here for ya, kiddo. ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1242 "2003-09-04T21:55:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Psalex \* > \*\*(No one wants to do me, and I didn’t pout at all.) _goes to corner to curl up and sulk_☹ \*\* [Howard Stern] I’d do ya, honey, not to worry about that! [/Howard Stern] ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1243 "2003-09-04T22:07:41Z")
I’m 6’1" so when I put on those 9" heels with the 4" platforms (for a comfortably moderate 5" heel rise) I’m … well … taller! But I usually go more for the nekkid footsie-strappy styles, women Do judge a man by his shoes, don cha know?!! I mean, after all, by the time you get a boot in _my_ size, it no longer looks … well … demure! Years ago had a very “vertically challenged” male friend who Loved to date Really tall girls! He called 'em “nose and toes girls.” To quote him, “When we’re toes to toes my nose is in it, and when we’re nose to nose my toes is in it.” NOT my tacky comment, \>\>\> I’d \<\<\< Never say such a tacky thing … ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1244 "2003-09-04T22:26:30Z")
**MiPiace!!!** Happy forple digits to you!!! Way to post! **Peritrochoid** Get out of my closet!!! Go get chur Own shoes! **D.Bear** “It might and I _MIGHT_”??? Need I remind you that we’ve all decided not to discontinue your sex life, as long as it remains amusing??? Amuse away, oh great Match dot Master! Speaking of earthshaking current events … I saw those ads, (the ones with George, the professionally tan dude), found the product (Ritz Chips) and tried them. (then bought them … no, no, no, not like that … I was standing in line while someone cheerfully watched all their grocerys get rung up … then started looking for their fist full of coupons, scattered through their purse, waited for that total, remarked on it with the checker, THEN started looking for their checkbook … and ignoring the pen offered by the checker … continued looking in their purse (large enough to have to be checked on an airplane, too large to fit in the “your carry-on must fit here” box, there by the gate …) for a pen … Then started writing their check … So I was already Planning on paying for them, but needed a snack to sustain myself whilst I waited in line …) (Drat! I posted in a **Roo** Thread!!! I’ve caught **Roo-ism!!!** ) Anyway … they’re good. Don’t buy the cheeze flavored ones, though, they have poison _cou M.S,G. gh_ in 'em! ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1245 "2003-09-04T22:29:18Z")
Can’t think of any reason to try this, though…[Weird, even for a costume place!](http://www.akrondesign.com/Retail/Hats/cheeseburgerhat.html) ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1246 "2003-09-04T22:53:06Z")
Gah! Slow down!! ~cries~ I had a busy two days ~hits the browser button to scroll back two days~ ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2003, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1247 "2003-09-04T23:56:51Z")
_patting **Jade** ’s hand …_ There, there, it’ll be alright … ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1248 "2003-09-05T00:00:27Z")
Ok, I wasn’t quit as far behind as I thought. > [@](#): > > **Dave** : > > Well, I’ve always been greedy, so thanks! _reaches for the tequila_ What are you waiting for? Start pouring! **Psalex** , I’m hurt, I didn’t get a mention either! ~J ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1249 "2003-09-05T00:05:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wyatt \* > \*\*_patting **Jade** ’s hand …_ > There, there, it’ll be alright … \*\* ~snuggles up to **Wyatt** ~ Thank you sweetie! ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1250 "2003-09-05T00:51:05Z")
Psst, Jaade, watch that Wyatt, he’s a slick one. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1251 "2003-09-05T02:32:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mipiace \* > \*\*Ya see, I think you should do it like this, rub the lime first, sprinkle the salt, pour the tequila, but put the lime in your mouth. So I lick the salt, drink the tequila, then bite the lime right outta’ your mouth. How’s that for birthday entertainment from a spicy senorita? \*\* Well, I gotta admit, that does sound pretty good. But, I was thinking more along the lines of rubbing, licking, and slurping off of nice, smooth, hairless (at least, mostly) female bodies. Less spitting of hairs, that way, and it makes my tongue happy. I like the idea of the lime in the mouth, though. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Simple Dreamer \* > \*\* Hey Dave! I knew they were close. Mine is the day before. \*\* That’s right! I’d forgotten that! See? I told ya’ people never remember. Nor do bears, apparently. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mipiace \* > **HEY! I just realized…I had my thousandth post today…** Congratulations! And, in honor of that momentous occasion, I even fixed your spelling. 😉 > [@](#): > > **it was either here, or while rolling on a dead bird.** I _SO_ don’t want to know. Really. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Psalex_ > \*\*Ooohh… and a little dance for Davebear , too- sounds like dessert is once again on the menu. Would you like a beverage or shall I just clear your dishes and dance on the table? \*\* No, I’ll take a Glenlivet, 18 yr old. It’ll give me a chance to watch you walk away. You can dance on the table when you come back. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Simple Dreamer \* > \*\*BTW, I’m curious… how tall are all the guys in this thread? \*\* I think I probably said, somewhere back around page three, but I’m 6’2". > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maureen \* > \*\*Psalex, I’m hurt. Not even a mention? I know I haven’t been around alot lately, but jeez… > Dave, I’m gonna cry. \*\* Awwwwww! **{{{{Maureen}}}}** Don’t cry Mama Mo. I still love you. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Psalex \* > \*\*And Maureen , pictured feminine and steadfast in WWII nurse uniform, attending calmly to the infirm, her gentle and benevolent expression softened by that fuzzy aura halo-thingy that directors always surround nurses with when seen through the eyes of a wounded soldier? \*\* Yep. That’s how I see her, too. With beautiful, long, flowing red hair. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Psalex \* > \*\*Yeah, well, you scared me a little bit. I cannot stand to see anyone cry. \*\* Yeah. Me, too. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maureen \* > \*\*Awww…thanks. I’ve been a little oversensitive lately. Turning 37 has caused me to wonder if I’m past the “babe” category and will forever more be thought of as “FBMC’s Mom”… \*\* Nope. Not at all past Babe age. I’m not sure there _is_ an upper limit, anyway. But, you’re still utterly babe-alicious. It’s a shame you’re also my surrogate Mama. Seems rude to want to lick booze off you. Then again, my manners aren’t the best, anyway. Wow! Nurse/nursing…Mama…babe…body…licking…oversensitive…shots…the mind reels. Then again, so does the news. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Psalex \* > \*\*Davebear, time to get out that naughty nurse outfit you bought for me. Maureen wants to borrow it. \*\* Something tells me that she already has her own. But, it’s nice of you to offer. I think your naughty cocktail waitress outfit suits you better, anyway. > [@](#): > > **No one wants to do me** Yeah, right! And, in other news, Hell has reportedly just frozen over, and the Red Sox have swept the World Series. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wyatt \* > \*\*D.Bear “It might and I MIGHT”??? Need I remind you that we’ve all decided not to discontinue your sex life, as long as it remains amusing??? Amuse away, oh great Match dot Master! \*\* And, don’t think I don’t appreciate it. I’m mighty grateful that I get to continue having a sex life. But, don’t think I’m gonna share all the details, either. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wyatt \* > \*\*Can’t think of any reason to try this, though… \*\* Well…because it’s _velvet!_ > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > \*\*Gah! Slow down!! ~cries~ I had a busy two days \*\* I know the feeling. And, I was here more recently than that. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > \*\*What are you waiting for? Start pouring! \*\* Well, I was waiting for you, sugah. C’mon over here. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1252 "2003-09-05T02:42:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wyatt \* > [B **D.Bear** “It might and I _MIGHT_”??? Need I remind you that we’ve all decided not to discontinue your sex life, as long as it remains amusing??? … \*\* **Wyatt**!! Would you _please_ stop paraphrasing me?! I’m in enough trouble with **Dave** as it is. He’s just now agreed to being nice to each other. At least, until the next time we disagree about something. Should be tomorrowish. Or at least til he reads this. **Dave** , thanks, dear one. I love you, too. :smooch: You can lick booze off me any time. ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1253 "2003-09-05T02:49:15Z")
> [@](#): > > **Davebear** : > > Well, I was waiting for you, sugah. C’mon over here. ~runs over with a lime and salt~ I’m here!! And I totally agree with **Davebear** , **tanookie** , > [@](#): > > Well I can be an incredible bitch to those who I feel deserve it. If you screw with my family you will find that out. Despite my apparent status as a Davebear Babe… I’m really not babe like at all. I do not follow the female preening thing, hate makeup, prefer a baseball cap and pony tail to any realy style for my hair, spend all my time in jeans and comfy shirts and sneakers. I never drink alcohol, ever, I had too much of it forced upon me as a child. This does not mean I want to be the designated babysitter or anyone’s den mother. My favorite occasions are ones filled with friends and music and food, I love playing hostess and having cookouts and dinners and stuff like that. Oh and Monopoly is not just a game anymore - it’s an obsession This is _not_ unsexy. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1254 "2003-09-05T03:26:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maureen \* > \*\ ***Wyatt**!! Would you _please_ stop paraphrasing me?! I’m in enough trouble with **Dave** as it is. He’s just now agreed to being nice to each other. At least, until the next time we disagree about something. Should be tomorrowish. Or at least til he reads this. \*\* Well, see now? If you hadn’t said anything I never would have remembered it was you who said that originally. I’m such an embarassment to my clan. How can I uphold the tradition of carrying a grudge for hundreds of years, when I can’t remember a disparaging remark for a mere twenty-odd (some of them _very_ odd) pages? > [@](#): > > \*\ ***Dave** , thanks, dear one. I love you, too. :smooch: You can lick booze off me any time. \*\* Awww! Oooh! Wow! Comforting **and** amusing…all at the same time! Well, that makes up for the “amusing sex life” crack. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > **~runs over with a lime and salt~ I’m here!!** Woohoo! Do I get to choose where to rub the lime on you? ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1255 "2003-09-05T03:37:47Z")
Okay, **Jaade** , I’ll do you now. But you have to do me, too. **Jaade** swings peacefully on a southern veranda, dressed in silk finery, her round behind accented with a bustle seen only when she graciously rises to greet her visitors. A plump cat purrs under her left hand, a glass of Midori sweetened tea in her right. She sits on the porch on sultry summer evening, receiving distraught friends who come by to seek her quiet wisdom and kind words. **Jaade** trades comfort and encouragement for the concerns and heartache her guests leave carelessly behind, and later she will fold their hurts and fears into paper roses and arrange them artfully in the vase by her side. Later, when the stars come out, silken-tressed **Jaade** might be spotted on the balcony, nude and resplendent in the moonlight, awaiting her cowboy, with whom she will play naughty Jeopardy, and of course, win the game with ease. ---
**Author:** ![peritrochoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@peritrochoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peritrochoid)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1256 "2003-09-05T11:29:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wyatt \* > \*\*Can’t think of any reason to try this, though…[Weird, even for a costume place!](http://www.akrondesign.com/Retail/Hats/cheeseburgerhat.html) \*\* Hah! I want one of those! And [one of these!](http://www.pimphats.com/pimphats_03pimpsuits_minkyprptanleo.htm) 😃 Maybe we should all get **D’Bear** one for his birthday! ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1257 "2003-09-05T11:52:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Psalex \* > \*\*Okay, **Jaade** , I’ll do you now. But you have to do me, too. \*\* :smack: D’oh! _That’s_ what you meant by “do me”! Well, if it’s the only way I get to “do you”… I picture **Psalex** as a raven-haired supermodel, towering over the women around her in her spike heels, able to look me straight in the eye, always with either a wry or pleasant smile on her face, elegantly poised as she flows through the crowd with balletic grace, unintentionally breaking male and female hearts with every swing of her hips, to the dance floor, where her passionnate abandon soon has every man in the joint twitching and sweating, and her joyous smile outshines the dancefloor spotlights. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Psalex \* > **Jaade swings peacefully on a southern veranda, dressed in silk finery…** Hmmm. Really? I see our **Jaade** more as a modern-day cowgirl, dressed in heartbreakingly tight jeans, and full of exuberance and energy, bouncing (so nicely) down off the porch to fling herself at her arriving guests with a loving hug. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by peritrochoid \* > \*\*Maybe we should all get D’Bear one for his birthday! \*\* LOL! I would _SO_ wear that to the next Dopefest! 😃 But, it definitely needs the hat, with a plume. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1258 "2003-09-05T12:01:42Z")
Can’t believe I’ve put off a June Cleaver-ish image. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1259 "2003-09-05T12:50:17Z")
OMG Rocky I think I injured something picturing Davebear in the pimping purple kid rock thing you linked to! OK fine my description may not eliminate me from the babe category but I certainly have never felt like a babe and I always thought that was pretty important to the whole babe package. Maybe too it has to do with guys (upon seeing me dressed in a dress for the first time) saying things like ‘oh you are a girl’ and ‘hey no fair you have breasts.’ ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2003, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1260 "2003-09-05T13:24:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Simple Dreamer \* > \*\*Can’t believe I’ve put off a June Cleaver-ish image. 😛 \*\* Nah, I don’t see you as June Cleaver. She was too dowdy. More like Donna Reed; domestic, yet beautiful and sexy. There’s even some resemblance, if memory serves. [Donna Reed](http://www.imdb.com/gallery/mptv/1112/Mptv/1112/0323_0117.jpg?path=pgallery&path_key=Reed,%20Donna) Okay, so that’s the least domestic looking photo I found of her, but she was a mama on her TV show, and in _It’s a Wonderful Life_. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tanookie \* > \*\*OMG Rocky I think I injured something picturing Davebear in the pimping purple kid rock thing you linked to! \*\* Can’t you just picture me, strolling into Boston Billiards in that suit? 😃 > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tanookie \* > \*\*OK fine my description may not eliminate me from the babe category but I certainly have never felt like a babe and I always thought that was pretty important to the whole babe package. \*\* Well, it depends on the type of babe. You’re not the “out there”, “here I am!” type of babe. You’re the quietly passionate type, that the boys ignore and the men love. (Okay, maybe not literally quiet, when you and **Parallax** are going at it, but you know what I meant.) **Dreamer** ’s the same way, and so is **Maureen** when her claws are retracted. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=62) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=64)