# Oh, My Freaking God! (Looong!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 13, 2003, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128 "2003-07-13T07:55:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 65
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1281 "2003-09-06T12:46:32Z")
_purrrr…_ You guys are so sweet. You think I’m sexy! C’mere, **Davebear** , let me give you a big kiss. \*buries Davebear’s face in cleavage, removes his feathered pimp hat, and smooches his head \* **Jaade** and **mipiace** , you two lie down, and I will rub your tummies. You girls are the nicest kitties! (Charlie’s Angels in go-go boots- Yep- that’s us!) **Jaade** , I bet you could ride side-saddle in that form-fitting and bustled silk, bouncing along the trail, whip firmly in your grasp. **mipiace** , I have re-cast you as a modern day Mata Hari. Sultry, sexy, tough, and multi-lingual. And **Simple Dreamer** - even if you didn’t picture frosting your respective birthday cakes as sexy, I bet if we ask **Davebear** , **Rocky** , **Wyatt** , and **KP** about the vision \*they \* saw, each would describe something more along the lines of Nigella (from Nigella Bites of the cooking channel. You licking frosting off your fingers along with the added bonus view of your generous cleavage as you lean over a table of sweets would be very far indeed from the domesticalis ornidaire that you envision. Now that is what **Davebear** means by dessert. (did I successfully banish the goody-goody image?) **tanookie** , you bewreathed Goddess of Abundant Fertility, how are you feeling today? ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1282 "2003-09-06T12:55:43Z")
How do I feel? Well I agree with abundant and fertile but I think Goddess is seriously stretching it. I got up about 12 times to pee, had a two year old kicking me in the back most of the night, had a cat throw up on the bed at 6:00am and I need a crane to roll over and hubby to take off my shoes for me. I feel tired and huge and like October is never coming! 🙂 How is everyone else this fine Saturday morning? Party hard last night? ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1283 "2003-09-06T15:29:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mipiace \* > \*\*Simple? Is that really you? nah, the bazooombah’s aren’t big enough! > > And Jaade, you are in Houston? holy shit girl! I am in San Antonio, that is close enough for a commute…hmmm we seriously could arrange that. We could meet in Austin or something. Or what’s Houston like? I have never been there. > Dave, thanks for being supportive. That’s really nice of you. > > Taookie…well yeah that would be a rough way to start your labor but think of the stories you could tell her later about being birthed on the pool table. [into the side pocket] \*\* I know it’s three hours from San An to Houston, and I’ve never been to San Antonio, but there are tons of things to do here! I think they are having a DopeFest in Austin next weekend, FYI, but I doubt I can go. Anytime you want to come up, let me know! > [@](#): > > **Psalex** : > > Jaade and mipiace , you two lie down, and I will rub your tummies. You girls are the nicest kitties! (Charlie’s Angels in go-go boots- Yep- that’s us!) Whee, who could resist that invitation? > [@](#): > > **Psalex** : > > Jaade , I bet you could ride side-saddle in that form-fitting and bustled silk, bouncing along the trail, whip firmly in your grasp. ~grins~ > [@](#): > > **Tanookie** : > > How is everyone else this fine Saturday morning? Party hard last night? Had softball last night, lost to the best team in our league, won against one of the best. ~grins~ Had a few Skyy Blues to celebrate and flirted shamelessly with the cop that patrols out there before coming home. Maybe something more exciting will happen today! ~hugs~ Sorry to hear that you had such a long night. Only a month left! I remember being miserable when I was pregnant with my son, the day before I went into the hospital I couldn’t even eat because his little head was pushing against my stomach. 2 months from now, you will be happy, happy, happy to lay on your stomach… ~J ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1284 "2003-09-06T16:29:34Z")
> [@](#): > > 2 months from now, you will be happy, happy, happy to lay on your stomach… Not if her boobies are full of milk she won’t. LOL I never liked laying on my tummy unless I’m getting a back rub. ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1285 "2003-09-06T17:03:40Z")
I’m afraid I won’t be comfy on my tummy for a bit more than 2 months. Between being full of milk and having an incision to be paranoid about for a while I won’t be belly sleeping for a while ☹ I do miss stretching out on my belly. If I could do so now without hurting the baby or myself I’d be a teeter totter! ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1286 "2003-09-06T17:03:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Psalex \* > _ **purrrr…** _ OMIGOD, I love when women purr! > [@](#): > > \*\*You guys are so sweet. You think I’m sexy! \*\* Doesn’t _everyone_ think you’re sexy? 😕 > [@](#): > > \*\*C’mere, **Davebear** , let me give you a big kiss. \*buries Davebear’s face in cleavage, removes his feathered pimp hat, and smooches his head \* \*\* Ooh! Now, _that_ is the way to start a day! ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1287 "2003-09-06T18:14:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maureen \* > \*\ ***mipiace** , mi sorella, you are too kind. The Tuaca’s on me. \*\* Brava! Tu es magnifico e’ parla bene! Tuaca per tutti! > [@](#): > > mipiace , I have re-cast you as a modern day Mata Hari. Sultry, sexy, tough, and multi-lingual. I like that one. I always thought I’d make a great spy. I’d love to try and talk a man out of his secrets. at least it would be fun to try.:eek: > [@](#): > > Jaade and mipiace , you two lie down, and I will rub your tummies. You girls are the nicest kitties! (Charlie’s Angels in go-go boots- Yep- that’s us!) I double that purr and raise you a meee-ooow! > [@](#): > > I know it’s three hours from San An to Houston, and I’ve never been to San Antonio, but there are tons of things to do here! I think they are having a DopeFest in Austin next weekend, FYI, but I doubt I can go. Anytime you want to come up, let me know! Well I am not sure of exactly when but I am serious about arranging some time when we are both free. San Antonio is pretty cool. I usually atay away from the River walk unless I have out of town guests but it is fun to go walk around and do the bar/restaurant scene, then there are the regular type places the locals go to. I’d be interested in going to Houston sometime too, and since Studmuffin has been around I have been exploring Austin as well so I am sure we can find something to do! > [@](#): > > How do I feel? Well I agree with abundant and fertile but I think Goddess is seriously stretching it. Well honey, every sleepless night brings your little one a night closer to sleeping in your arms and every day she grows a little bigger and stronger and healthier…you are in the home stretch and it isn’t very comfortable but it will be over soon. Just hang in there, it is SOOOO worth it. She is such a miracle happining right inside your tummy. Well in Mipiace news, remember yesterday when I was all blue b/c I hadn’t heard from studmuffin? Well I took a shower when I got home last night and he called my cell and left a mssg…I was going to call back…called again while I was drying my hair…and again while I was eating my dinner…and again while I was walking the dogs. I decided I’d better call him back and when I called, I got his voice mail but while I was leaving him a messg, my call waiting beeped and he was calling me again. Not like him to call ANYONE 5 times between the hours of 630 and 845PM…we have a date for Sunday. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2003, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1288 "2003-09-06T18:52:27Z")
**Mipiace** , I think he was missin’ you. **Psalex** , I much prefer that imgage. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1289 "2003-09-07T00:05:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tanookie \* > \*\*I’m afraid I won’t be comfy on my tummy for a bit more than 2 months. Between being full of milk and having an incision to be paranoid about for a while I won’t be belly sleeping for a while ☹ > > I do miss stretching out on my belly. If I could do so now without hurting the baby or myself I’d be a teeter totter! \*\* Is this your first C-Section? I had two, and I don’t remember exactly how much time it took to completely heal, but you get used to it pretty quickly. > [@](#): > > **mipiace** : > > Well I am not sure of exactly when but I am serious about arranging some time when we are both free. San Antonio is pretty cool. I usually atay away from the River walk unless I have out of town guests but it is fun to go walk around and do the bar/restaurant scene, then there are the regular type places the locals go to. I’d be interested in going to Houston sometime too, and since Studmuffin has been around I have been exploring Austin as well so I am sure we can find something to do! Me too, honey! Sounds like fun! ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1290 "2003-09-07T00:44:56Z")
Jaade… this will be my second C section. I did pretty well recovering from the first one but I was not comfortable on my stomach for a while… I still have nerve damage there from the last time _sigh_ I also had pneumonia last time and that did interfere with me sleeping comfortably for a few weeks. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1291 "2003-09-07T00:54:21Z")
[/voyeur mode]I finally thought I’d say hi all after reading all 26 pages. It took me eight days, on and off. I know! **Jaade** did it in three. I’m so embarassed! I ain’t makin that nasty smilie tho! I figured it would be better to be a self-declared voyeur than one of those scary anonymous ones. (God, I wish I had opened this thread when I first saw it!) **Dave,** If you printed this thread out, and published it, you would have a best-seller on your hands! (Of course you’d have to split the profits with **Wyatt** and many others!) Very first thing, … I really wish things had worked out with Theresa! Really! I also had my heart stolen by a blonde, blue-eyed BEAUTY, not too long ago. It really was uglier than your story, but I’m not going there! It was the same (NON-) communication, on her part, that doomed us. And my over-eagerness, I guess. ☹ In your favor… **Dave,** you have had more action/interest, since you and Sherri split, than I have had in [longer than I’m willing to admit!] I think you will end up just fine! Eventually. p.s. Thanks for that “eye-flick” thing! I doubt I’ll ever get a chance to use it, but it is still good to know! **Dave,** about Harmony… IMHO she sounds “needy” and “possessive.” (IMHO… I’ve seen your “teddy-bear” side in this thread, but I’ve also seen your teeth and claws. 😉 ) Still… I also am QUITE taken with a really nice flat belly, myself! Personally I like the odd protuberance of sharp hip bones, but that’s just a personal pref. Seriously, as a diversion she seems ok, but for more than that… I don’t know. But who am I to say… And another random observation… **Dave,** you are SSOOOO BAD, flirting with the ladies in this thread! I can’t imagine you having troubles IRL! I WISH I had your “line!” I think you will get what you want! Side note: I’ve been taking notes for about 15 pages now. About 8 pages ago I thought: **mipiace,** IMHO (MPSIMS), dump him! Now it sounds like you and Studmuffin are taking it slow and sensible. A good choice I think. Red Bull and Vodka? Now THERE is a power drink! The only thing I can say to **tanookie** ’s (and other women’s) experiences… God I’m glad I’m a guy! I **FEEL** for you all! **Optihut,** I’m an engineer (almost) in jeans and t-shirt too. In a wonderful small town. (I don’t have an online pic, it would scare the children.) Well, sometimes I wear a nice shirt… And **Wyatt,** (you old dog!) I have to say this… YOU rock! (Sorry petrichoid… no… perichoid… no… periti… Sorry **ROCKY!** ) **Wyatt,** you are BUTTER! (Cuz you’re on a roll!) Have been for 26 pages now! [really old post ref]And \*\*Wyatt II,\*\*I have to say this, you are BUTTER! (Cuz you’re on a roll!) And \*\*Wyatt III,\*\*I have to say this… [/really old post ref] BTW, didja know, if you run out of Master’s small rice ration, that you can eat rice paper? And for all my typos in this post… :smack: At least I finally figured out what a peritrochoid is. > [@](#): > > _Quote from KP_ > Grumbling, I haul my old charity kissing booth out of the garage and -er- erect it. (Hey, a worthy cause is a worthy cause, whatever the exact details!) Now what shall I peddle? Tootsie rolls seem to be going over well, but I’m not going to step on any toes. Hmm… > > “KP says “Love my Good & Plenty!” > KP says “Really rings your bell!” > KP says “Love my Good & Plenty!” > Don’t know another candy that can love so well!” OMFG!!! My stomach still hurts from lauging, and I read this YESTERDAY! **Psalex,** that is WAY COOL about Johnny and June Carter! p.s. I’m a Cancer too, so I guess we wouldn’t get along IRL. :eek: And for general consumption… **Grasshopper:** But Master, how is it that you can do these things? **Master:** Ah, Grasshopper, how is it that you cannot! ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1292 "2003-09-07T01:01:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tanookie \* > \*\*Jaade… this will be my second C section. I did pretty well recovering from the first one but I was not comfortable on my stomach for a while… I still have nerve damage there from the last time _sigh_ I also had pneumonia last time and that did interfere with me sleeping comfortably for a few weeks. > > 🙂 \*\* I think I had a similar problem, but I’d rather tell you about it _after_ the baby is here… I hate that I can’t do things I used to be able to do because of my scars, I feel paranoid about it sometimes as well. I used to be able to lay on my tummy and touch my toes to the back of my head (just cuz…yes, I’m a bit strange), but I’m a bit afraid to try it these days. **if6was9** , welcome to the insanity. I read the first 15 or so pages right when I first found the thread, then forgot about it for a week or three, and had to play catch up…but I read fast, and have bouts of insomnia. ~grins~ Don’t feel bad! And speaking of **Wyatt** , where _has_ he been hiding?? ~J ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1293 "2003-09-07T02:43:34Z")
Welcome if6was9 to the OMFG! club. LOL ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1294 "2003-09-07T04:47:17Z")
Zzzzzzzz… _wha??? huh??? nebber mind …_ Zzzzzzzzzzzzz ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1295 "2003-09-07T05:01:18Z")
I just can’t keep up with this monster. But I had to drop by to flirt with **Wyatt**. Sorry for the intrusion **Dave**. So how’s the pony-tailed pet doing? [sub]You call that flirting? Good god. Let me just unroll this list of excuses. [/sub] Ok, it’s kind of late here on the East Coast, and for some reason I’m really tired and I’m kind of stressed out and there were aliens and they took part of my brain, and it was one of the few good parts left and …um…so that was all the flirting I could muster. [sub]Oh yah, that worked.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Optihut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/edb3f5/32.png) [@Optihut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Optihut)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1296 "2003-09-07T10:42:48Z")
Welcome, **if6was9**! It´s always good to have another engineer (almost) around. At least, that´s my opinion, heh. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > **I read the first 15 or so pages right when I first found the thread, then forgot about it for a week or three, and had to play catch up…but I read fast, and have bouts of insomnia. ~grins~ Don’t feel bad!** Hmmm, did you have insomnia and were able to catch up on the thread or did you catch up on the thread and had insomnia as a result? _g_ Just kidding! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 11:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1297 "2003-09-07T11:41:28Z")
Wow optihut… that was very Zen… which came first the insomnia or the thread?! 🙂 Jaade … Um I have never been able to bend like that! EEk 🙂 Hi Salem! Welcome to our on little insane asylum. It was very nice of if6was9 to come out of lurkerdom for the thread. Oh and I think the thing with the mighty Davebear is that if we all weren’t so far away and most of us weren’t so obviously attached he would be a bit less flirty… he needs to take his act on the streets but he’s more teddy than grizzly! ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1298 "2003-09-07T13:09:24Z")
Hey **tanookie**. I’ve actually been here. It’s just that it was back a few[sub]thousand[/sub] pages, that’s all. I just can’t keep up. And I’m really not very good at virtual parties. I’m virtually shy, I guess. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1299 "2003-09-07T13:26:40Z")
Obviously I’m not very good at these virtual parties either 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2003, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1300 "2003-09-07T13:31:58Z")
Welcome, \*\* if6was9 \*\*. Although it hasn’t happened yet, give us time. After we get to know you a little better, one of us **Davebear Babes** will play off of your moniker and tease you with some naughty math. Sigh. Where can I begin to explain the magnetism of this thread… Though each man at this party has many attributes worth purring over, I will briefly laud our protagonist. I begin with the winner of Best Supporting Role: **Wyatt** is the sexy, uninhibited guy who wisely chose a canine guise in order to get away with being unapologetically bold with his greetings at the party. His inquisitive nose has been playfully pushed away because we can’t resist his doggy enthusiasm- that is why he has avoided the rolled-up newspaper so deftly. As an added bonus: his narratives are freaking hilarious. **Wyatt** can be credited with changing the overall tone of this epic from **Davebear** the righteous gentleman doggedly pursuing true love, to **Davebear** the righteous teddy bear that all the girls want to … play with. And **Davebear**'s appeal…sigh… where do I begin. **Davebear**'s talents with innuendo and turn of phrase have proven irresistible to even the shyest of the girls here. As you may have noticed several pages ago, we girls started coquettishly dropping ambiguous phrases like fine lace handkerchiefs at his feet. He obligingly picks up on our hints, and returns our flirtations with interest. He is ever the gentleman, and sees to it that our even our married and maternal girls are appreciated, tweaked, complimented and _be-winked_ . (We have taken the liberty of coining our own terms and phrases here at Davebear’s, as we do whatever we please at his place, and that includes corrupting the language in any way that we see fit lest we run out of overtly sexual wordplay. Also, see KP’s fine work to reference foreign language malapropism. We are all adept at finding sexual connotation in even the most mundane phrase or word; please note this practice when searching the following terms: frosting; spork; rocky; dessert; Wankel, etc.) Ahem. I continue. \*\* ensures that each woman in this thread is properly complimented for her assets (as well as her ass, if her ass is one of her assets). He also regularly threatens each of us with a good time. **Davebear** invites his girls to leave their inhibitions at the door (along with our clothing) and tangle shamelessly in the hot tub _ **dropped hanky alert** _ Women of all shapes, sizes, and ages are beautiful, sexy, and feminine at **Davebear**'s house regardless of attachment or matrimony. No other man has the ability to tease a blush out of us like **Davebear**. IRL, I daresay any one of us **Davebear Babes** would snuggle in close for a hug, a smooch, a snuggle- actually, there have been a couple of instances when **Davebear** would have been in danger of an all-girl dog pile, as he is just that irresistible. Now, if you will excuse me, it is time for my daily wink and grin. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=64) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=66)