# Oh, My Freaking God! (Looong!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 13, 2003, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128 "2003-07-13T07:55:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 70
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1381 "2003-09-09T03:49:00Z")
OMG, I had replied to like all of page 27 while I was at work. It needed a few finishing touches and in the meantime I had to like, do real work. I came back, finished, and hit submit. ~sniffs~ Gone, all gone…like petals on the wind, like …well, like that, just like that…all that hard work, my entire lunch hour (It was really closer to 20 minutes, I had to run a few errands). Let me see if I can recreate the magic. > [@](#): > > **Davebear** : > > Well, don’t worry. I scooped it off the cutting room floor, and it’s in my private collection, now. :dubious: I certainly hope I at least get a copy of that! > [@](#): > > You do? Good for you! I tried not thinking for a while, but I kept bumping into doors. > [@](#): > > **mipiace** : > > Good MONDAY Morning OMFG GANG!! Good MORNING! Well, I swear…it was at the time I said it originally, darlin’. I’m glad to hear that you had a nice Sunday, and while I would nevah ask you to kiss and tell, remember that we are always here, just in case things don’t stay quite as wondermous. > [@](#): > > **Psalex** : > > _licks honey from Jaade 's lovely shoulder_ Whoo hoo, a non-censored lick! > [@](#): > > I plan to bring the house down for the next few days, so someone pass me the tequila. ~hands you the bottle of tequila~ Body shot time! > [@](#): > > Sigh. I don’t even want to think about the soul-eating zombies I share space with 40 hours per week. > > I knew that I would be away from work for a couple of months, so I took the liberty of jotting down the 5 most remarkable things co-workers said to me the last Friday I worked: > > “Do I have food in my teeth?” from Mark, the guy who fills the coke machine and flirts with me daily. > > “I need a tampon,” shouted by the girl who sits to my west, and overheard by the client I had on the phone. > > “My brother would really like you. He is about to graduate from Seminary and is looking for a wife. Do you date younger men?” (I am 33!!! Her brother would be about 23!!!) > > “I am going to get that ladder and climb up those long legs,” said to me by my boss, who was pointing at a 30’ extension ladder left behind my desk by maintenance. > > “Are you gonna eat that?” asked the tech support guy, pointing at a 12 year old Twinkie left on the empty desk beside me by an unknown co-worker. Ok, I did replies for all of these…~frowns~ And it got erased, but the pinnacle was of course to The Tech Support Guy: “I was thinking about it sweetie, but I don’t really need the extra calories. If you ate it, I would feel so much better!” Your coworkers sound almost normal compared to mine, we’ll have to swap stories sometime. **Optihut** , it’s probably too late for me to help with your email, though it looks like you got plenty of suggestions. Good luck!! ~sends hugs and good thoughts your way~ > [@](#): > > **mipiace** : > > I love this joint. We have Dave’s love life, my love life, Optihuts internship, Psalex’s creepy office mates, Wyatt and Rocky’s apprentiship from the master Dave, Tanookies Pregnancy update, Jaade and her honey dip, Simple’s harem attire, Maureen? What are you up to? Did I miss something from you, don’t rememebr seeing anything since you went off to fight in the war with Ernest Hemingway…this is definitely the coolest joint in town. There is random sporkdom, deserts galore, body shots for all a clothing prohibited hottub…ahhh, we should start a chain in every one of our towns. Boston, Houston, Knoxville, San Fransisco, San Antonio…where else do we have covered here? I’m telling you, we could make a mint selling franchises across the nation. The ambience! The sexual energy…we’d be packed every night… Welcome back to the party **White Ink**! > [@](#): > > **if6was9** : > > :: humbly joins Wyatt & peritrochoid bowing at the feet of his Sensei, hoping there is room for another student, while casting ocasional sidelong glances at the wonderful boobage in the hot tub! :: I tell you what, you fellas need to get down to Texas, and fast, if you think bowing at **Davebear’s** feet is the appropriate response to floatiing boobage… > [@](#): > > **Wyatt** : > > _Gives a flirty Wave back to Hot Salem > and a LONG full on (just to avoid any possible Yo-Yo-ing) admiring gaze at the assembled beauties and boobage in the hot tub_ > > Welcome to the lurkers who decloaked, and congratulations to all who have made it through all 27 pages! > > White Ink Dessert in the desert sounds poetic, somehow! Do we get details? Long term lover, someone you met in the desert? How was dessert, for heavens sakes! (do we get a link to all your pictures??? or are you going to email them to me?) > > All y’all who are getting dessert are being entirely TOO reticent about giving us Some of the details!!! > > So… D.Bear … hummm … just exactly WHO is it that is making life look a little more up??? Hummmm??? > > And … Peritrochoid … uh … dude … at the master’s feet can be literal or figurative, when his feet are on dry land … > but … Rocky!!! when said feet are under water in the hot tub !!! _grabs Peritrochoid by the back of the neck and Lifts his face up out of the water …_ Breathe boy! Breathe! (ye Gads, I’m so glad I’m finally recovering from my E.E. induced literalism! > heads humbly back to the sleeping alcove, under the back of the house, with the cold cold stone floor, to oh-so-generously tear the tiny rice paper ‘mat’ in half, to share with the near-drown new devotee …and to check for any left-over rice juice in his small little bowl …and gathering up his studies … before … Welcome back darlin’, we certainly missed you somethin’ fierce. > [@](#): > > **Psalex** : > > I will report back in 30 minutes, with link to picture of kid standing next to Tragic Whiteout Beer Cooler. What happened to our link? And you should have let him take a picture of you! For us! ~grins~ > [@](#): > > **WhiteInk** : > > lets just say that right now I think that no matter what the circumstances, sex between me & some dude is is an act of him using my body as an object & therefore a degrading act, even if I’m the initiator & even if I enjoy it. Oh darlin’…please email at least one of us…seriously. I’d hate for you to go through life feeling that way. > [@](#): > > **if6was9** : > > But “C’s” are so perfect! Yay! I always wanted to be _purrfect_ > [@](#): > > **Davebear** : > > You and me both, babe. Wanna open a stained glass studio with hot tubs and a bar in the back, with me? I soooooo hate my job…you guys need a cute southern girl’s help? > [@](#): > > BTW, I’m back, in case no one noticed. But, no one said acolytes weren’t allowed in the tub. But, in Rocky’s case, I think we’ll have to make sure there’s always someone else in the tub, before we let him in. Come on in doll, I’m fairly sure we have a bit of honey left… ~J ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1382 "2003-09-09T03:50:19Z")
\*\*Raises hand to claim video rights for the girl-fight _“dispatching”_ I think **if6** should get extra credit for back-to-back sucking up! ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1383 "2003-09-09T03:50:51Z")
No! **if6was9** You may not call me Alex. Look up “Salix” and come back to me when you draw the parallel between my moniker and my “bod” as you so lovingly referred to it. ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1384 "2003-09-09T03:58:13Z")
wow… **Jaade** a **14 quote post** **shivers with delight** Goodness the talents of the ladies in **D.Bear Land** **D.Bear** you sure can draw 'em in! And thanks for the “missed me” comments! ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1385 "2003-09-09T04:02:02Z")
oooooohhhhhhh **if6** is in Trouuuuuuuble!!! Welcome to the (engaged to be) Married world, **if6**!!! ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1386 "2003-09-09T04:05:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wyatt \* > \*\*wow… **Jaade** a **14 quote post** > **shivers with delight** > Goodness the talents of the ladies in **D.Bear Land** > > **D.Bear** you sure can draw 'em in! > > And thanks for the “missed me” comments! \*\* I’m _very_ talented, doll. ~J ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1387 "2003-09-09T04:22:34Z")
> [@](#): > > _Quote from Psalex_ > No! if6was9 You may not call me Alex. Look up “Salix” and come back to me when you draw the parallel between my moniker and my “bod” as you so lovingly referred to it. OK… excuse my denseness (please!!!) you’re either… 50 miles from me (BEST-case scenario) In Iowa. ☹ growing willow trees in Wales work for a drug company (most likely) (several hundred miles from me but… workable. 🙂 Am I close? Sorry if I offended you! I wouldn’t want to be known as HMWboy, myself! Do you still love me? Quit gloating, **Wyatt**! I’m not very good at this kind of thing! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1388 "2003-09-09T04:29:23Z")
Latin for Willow. I am tall and slender. You are forgiven, but you did not win a spork. And yes, I still love you, but you should offer to rub my tummy or I won’t stop pouting. ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1389 "2003-09-09T04:31:20Z")
Move over, **Jaade** , I am getting back in the tub with you and the bouys. ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1390 "2003-09-09T04:41:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > \*\*I’m _very_ talented, doll. > > ~J \*\* Oh … Daaaarlin’ _sits back to look admiringly out toward the balcony, enjoying the “back lit” look through your evening wear …_ ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1391 "2003-09-09T04:43:22Z")
If you’re tall and slender, I would LOVE to rub your tummy! Besides really nice blue or green eyes, flat bellies are my FAVORITE female attribute! _jumps in hot tub behind **Psalex** , pulls her close to him, rubs tummy, rubs … Whoa! this IS a family board!_ ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1392 "2003-09-09T04:58:47Z")
Yawn… hot tub has made me sleepy. 1:00 am on the East Coast, and I should curl up in bed if I plan to properly misbehave for the next 4 days. G’night, all- **Jaade** , you Babydoll- have fun with the puppy. **if6was9** , we will have to work on the guest list tomorrow. Thank you for the tummy rub- warm hands heal hurt feelings. **Davebear** , sorry about the mess, I will clean up tomorrow. I know, I know, apron only… and yes, I will use the featherduster. **Wyatt** , 😉 \*\* peritrochoid \*\* , bring a snorkel with your wankel tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1393 "2003-09-09T05:08:07Z")
**Davebear!!!** 20,000 views?!?!?! You, sir, are The Stuff. Legendary. Ursa Major. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1394 "2003-09-09T11:52:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by if6was9 \* > **She DID ask me to marry her, afterward…** She did. _Despite_ being offended by your “bod” remark. Personally, I thought your “C’s are perfect” remark was also rather borderline, but she apparently liked it. A very forgiving woman, apparently. You should still marry her, despite her attempted coup in my absence. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Psalex \* > **Davebear… _whining_ make if6was9 pay attention to me…** As if. You don’t need anyone’s help to get the attention of any man. [sub]conniving wench![/sub] > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > **:dubious: I certainly hope I at least get a copy of that!** Come on in back, to my private screening room. I’ll play it for you. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > **Yay! I always wanted to be _purrfect_** Who said you weren’t? > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > **I soooooo hate my job…you guys need a cute southern girl’s help?** Always. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > **Come on in doll, I’m fairly sure we have a bit of honey left…** Oh, I’m pretty sure you do. Mind if I take a closer look? Oh, yeah. There is some left, right there in that luscious little hollow at the base of your throat, just waiting for a warm, wet tongue to scoop it up and smear across a yearning palate. But, it may take several passes, using different techniques; a stiff pointed tongue to make sure every last drop of gooey goodness is teased out of the soft folds of your flesh; a soft, flat tongue swept across the skin to make sure no spot is left untouched; And, there’s that hard little bump that may require some moist lips to suck the last clinging drops off it. And, one can’t forget to follow the yummy trail of sweetness that inevitably flows downward when one is busy above, collecting and savoring each precious droplet. May I? > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wyatt \* > **I think if6 should get extra credit for back-to-back sucking up!** Fine. But, he also gets two demerits for disrespect. to a lady (or, at least, a treacherous wench) and to his sensei. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > **I’m very talented, doll.** I love talented women. If you can get that toe-touching-the-back-of-the-head act in shape, again, we’ll make a fortune selling tickets. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Psalex \* > \*\*Move over, Jaade, I am getting back in the tub with you and the bouys. \*\* LOL! > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Psalex \* > \*\*20,000 views?!?!?! \*\* WooHoo! ---
**Author:** ![Optihut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/edb3f5/32.png) [@Optihut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Optihut)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1395 "2003-09-09T12:00:41Z")
Thanks for all the suggestions on my CV and e-mail. It is a shame that I was too impatient to wait for all the things, but at least I got to heed the advice of some of the people on ICQ, whom I have showed the thread. So posting it wasn´t for naught. As for making it even lengthier - I don´t agree with you there, Dave. After all, this isn´t a normal letter of application (the last one I sent out was twice as long and I didn´t even get a lousy e-mail as a reply). This was an e-mail to a person, who already knew that I would e-mail him. Hence, I deemed it best just to write the essential things and not steal his time with long winded tales of greatness. But in general, you´re right - I just view this special case differently. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1396 "2003-09-09T12:03:51Z")
[rant] C’s are so perfect! B’s and D’s are even good! Waaahhhhh! I really miss having _normal_ boobage. I put on a cute top from my closet yesterday and a button broke. Seriously. Broke! Waaahhhh! [/rant] Ya’ll were so busy yesterday I don’t even know where to begin. LOL ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1397 "2003-09-09T13:16:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by White Ink \* > \*\*lets just say that right now I think that no matter what the circumstances, sex between me & some dude is is an act of him using my body as an object & therefore a degrading act, even if I’m the initiator & even if I enjoy it. > > Bleah. \*\* Maybe y ou just need a good woman White Ink. There are several here who can make it all better. May I volunteer my services? 😃 [QUOTE] Good MORNING! Well, I swear…it was at the time I said it originally, darlin’. I’m glad to hear that you had a nice Sunday, and while I would nevah ask you to kiss and tell, remember that we are always here, just in case things don’t stay quite as wondermous. [QUOTE] Oh hell we all know it won’t, a zebra never changes it’s stripes and I am not that stupid but it feels good for now. I’m not quite as stoned on good lovin as I was yesterday but it had been a long time since I had dessert…forgive me of my weaknesses. :eek: I have come to my senses today. Hey I kind of like the C’s are so perfect comment… ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1398 "2003-09-09T14:04:32Z")
Let me clarify (since I’m in the doghouse) They are all wonderful, from A to DD. And being able to bust a button is a GOOD thing. 😉 It’s just that… well… um… like I said before… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1399 "2003-09-09T14:23:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by if6was9 \* > \*\*Let me clarify (since I’m in the doghouse) They are all wonderful, from A to DD. And being able to bust a button is a GOOD thing. 😉 It’s just that… well… um… like I said before… 🙂 \*\* Heh heh I love it when they back-peddle…😛 ---
**Author:** ![Psalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/439d5e/32.png) [@Psalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Psalex)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2003, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1400 "2003-09-09T14:42:01Z")
Backpedal is right! Sounds to me like **if6was9** is trying to increase his odds… so which is it if6? Me?!?!? Or them? Attention!!! \*\*Davebear Babes: \*\* line up in alphabetical cup order. _(Good morning, Davebear men!! The above visual delight brought you courtesy of Psalex and the letter **C** )_ Now stop grinning and staring into space and get back to work. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=69) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=71)