# Oh, My Freaking God! (Looong!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 13, 2003, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128 "2003-07-13T07:55:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 98
**Author:** ![CasperQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@CasperQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CasperQ)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1941 "2003-09-20T21:54:03Z")
Yes, **Wyatt** , who an earth is a general chaotician? Sounds terribly complicated… or is that delightfuly simplistic? Hmmm - let’s opt for sinful hedonism. Yep, that’s the one! ---
**Author:** ![CasperQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@CasperQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CasperQ)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1942 "2003-09-20T21:55:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CasperQ \* > **Yes, Wyatt, who on earth is a general chaotician?** ---
**Author:** ![CasperQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@CasperQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CasperQ)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1943 "2003-09-20T21:57:44Z")
Eh, **6** , was that a _USED_ toothbrush that **Wyatt** was offering? 😮 ---
**Author:** ![peritrochoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@peritrochoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peritrochoid)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1944 "2003-09-20T21:59:59Z")
Yep! Already givin’ **Wyatt** hell. She’ll fit in perfectly! 😃 Oh, and **Jaade** , Mistress, dear, I seem to remember that **Optihut** had something to finish at universität, was moving back to his hometown, AND was looking for an internship … all in the span of a couple of weeks or so. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1945 "2003-09-20T22:32:58Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Maureen \* > \*\* Well, maybe if certain people were nicer, they’d get better responses._\* See? I offer you a _slave_ fer cryin out loud, and you’re still bitchin’ me out! > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maureen \* > \*\*Behave, dear one, huh? You know you’re my favorite. You don’t need to kick puppies to get my attention. 💏 Now I’m going back to bed. But you can come rub my shoulders for me, if you like. There’s one spot I can’t quite reach. \*\* Awww! All right. You don’t play fair! You know I can’t resist it, when my Mama Mo calls me “dear one”. It’s too bad you’re in Mama mode, though. It would be so much more fun to get you out of those pajamas and give you a full back rub; the kind that starts at the shoulders and ends at the toes. I’m told I have quite a touch, and I really enjoy the part where I have to straddle the lady’s butt, to get the proper angle to massage her shoulders. All that back and forth, up and down motion as my hands knead and caress your skin…sometimes it’s hard to tell who’s doing what to whom. 'Course, that’s no way to treat one’s Mama. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > Yep, that’s cute, too. But, don’t stick it out unless you’re going to use it. > > ~raises an eyebrow~ Whatcha gonna do about it? \*\* Oh, not much. _drops half a teaspoon of ground pepper on the offending tongue_ I used to grab women who did that by the ears and try to suck their tongues out of their heads, but they enjoyed that, too much. And, I’m pretty sure a spanking would just turn you on. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > \*\* Your money or your mouth? > > Cuz I have a list… \*\* Gonna have to “settle” for my mouth, darlin’, cuz all my money goes to buying rice, and keeping the liquor cabinet stocked, these days. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Simple Dreamer \* > \*\* Wow… Dave… wow… \*\* _Blows Dream Girl a kiss_ > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CasperQ \* > \*\* Did I see DaveBear simper?!!? \*\* No, you most certainly _ **did not! Wyaaaaatt!!** _ > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by CasperQ_ > \*\* catatonic AND on the ceiling just from reading… \*\* Huh. Thought it would only affect women that way. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Wyatt_ > \*\* \*looks up from scrubbing the floor, looking Reeeeeeally pathetic and Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally repentant and reeeeeeeeeally sad and reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally like a grasshopper that should get to have his tatami back … scrub … scrub … scrub … scrub … scrub … to be helpful, holds out D.Bear’s toothbrush to him … \*Brush after lunch, sir??? \*\* If pouting doesn’t work for the Babes[sup]TM[/sup], what makes you think puppy dog eyes are going to work for you? And, stay out of the master bathroom, from now on. Keep scrubbing. _takes **Wyatt** ’s brand new toothbrush, and leaves_ > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wyatt \* > \*\* _whew!!!_ bows deeply in front of his sensei \*\* Hmm. Definitely works on guys, but doesn’t seem to have much effect on most women. Even the lickee didn’t seem to enjoy it, much. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wyatt \* > \*\* Not saying who says this about themselves … > > “Mom, daughter, sister, friend, and general chaotician” > > but a general chaotician??? … Looks like this girl is gonna fit right in!!! \*\* I gotta get out of this thread, once in a while. I have no idea who you’re talking about. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > \*\* ~grins~ You just guarenteed I’ll be pouting a lot more! \*\* Good work, **If6**! You’re definitely showing signs of worthiness. If only it weren’t for that embarassing premature postulation problem. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by CaperQ \* > \*\* Hmmm - let’s opt for sinful hedonism. Yep, that’s the one!_\* Yeah, that _definitely_ fits in here. So…wait. Does this mean Casper is a female ghost? ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1946 "2003-09-20T22:59:36Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\* Awww! All right. You don’t play fair! You know I can’t resist it, when my Mama Mo calls me “dear one”. It’s too bad you’re in Mama mode, though. It would be so much more fun to get you out of those pajamas and give you a full back rub; the kind that starts at the shoulders and ends at the toes. I’m told I have quite a touch, and I really enjoy the part where I have to straddle the lady’s butt, to get the proper angle to massage her shoulders. All that back and forth, up and down motion as my hands knead and caress your skin…_\* You talked me into it. That back room invitation still open? Just lemme get rid of this silly tank top. And these shorts would prolly jst get in the way, too…K. Got some massage oil right here. **Jaade** , **SD** , I know you don’t need my help with the rest of the guys, right? Not with those assets. I’m just going to um, let **Dave** help me with my headache. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![CasperQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@CasperQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CasperQ)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1947 "2003-09-20T23:08:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > \*\*So…wait. Does this mean Casper is a female ghost? \*\* Today, I am. In the interest of chaos, that may change tomorrow. Remind me never to meet you in person - especially if you have a can of icing in one hand and… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1948 "2003-09-20T23:33:10Z")
> [@](#): > > 'Course, that’s no way to treat one’s Mama. I beg do differ. _This_ Mama loves to be treated that way. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1949 "2003-09-20T23:41:27Z")
Heehee, **SD**. I can’t get that Queen Latifah song out of my head from _Chicago_…“When You’re Good to Mama” ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2003, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1950 "2003-09-20T23:56:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by peritrochoid \* > \*\*Yep! Already givin’ **Wyatt** hell. > > She’ll fit in perfectly! 😃 > > Oh, and **Jaade** , Mistress, dear, I seem to remember that **Optihut** had something to finish at universität, was moving back to his hometown, AND was looking for an internship … all in the span of a couple of weeks or so. \*\* Ok, so he wasn’t going to be busy or anything…~grins~ > [@](#): > > **Davebear** > > Oh, not much. _drops half a teaspoon of ground pepper on the offending tongue_ > > I used to grab women who did that by the ears and try to suck their tongues out of their heads, but they enjoyed that, too much. And, I’m pretty sure a spanking would just turn you on. What? Spankings? Me? ~bats eyelashes~ > [@](#): > > Gonna have to “settle” for my mouth, darlin’, cuz all my money goes to buying rice, and keeping the liquor cabinet stocked, these days. Liquor and mouth in the same sentence, sounds like a good start to me… > [@](#): > > Hmm. Definitely works on guys, but doesn’t seem to have much effect on most women. Even the lickee didn’t seem to enjoy it, much. Didn’t you see me frantically counting the days til my birthday?!? > [@](#): > > I gotta get out of this thread, once in a while. I have no idea who you’re talking about. Ditto that… Of course, we are talking about **Wyatt** , he frequently confuses us with things right out of this thread… > [@](#): > > **Maureen** > > You talked me into it. That back room invitation still open? Just lemme get rid of this silly tank top. And these shorts would prolly jst get in the way, too…K. Got some massage oil right here. Jaade, SD, I know you don’t need my help with the rest of the guys, right? Not with those assets. I’m just going to um, let Dave help me with my headache. Thanks. Since you mentioned my name…let me know if you need an extra pair of hands. ~coughs~ > [@](#): > > **CasperQ** > > Today, I am. In the interest of chaos, that may change tomorrow. Remind me never to meet you in person - especially if you have a can of icing in one hand and… I am _soooo_ confused… > [@](#): > > **Simple Dreamer** > > I beg do differ. This Mama loves to be treated that way. Add my vote to that… > [@](#): > > **Maureen** > > Heehee, SD. I can’t get that Queen Latifah song out of my head from Chicago…“When You’re Good to Mama” ~sings~ “When you’re good to Mama, Mama’s good to you” ~J ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2003, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1951 "2003-09-21T00:09:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > **Since you mentioned my name…let me know if you need an extra pair of hands. ~coughs~** OOOOHHH…A four handed body rub? Bliss. Heaven. Fiveplay… Do I get to pick who does which side? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2003, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1952 "2003-09-21T00:44:33Z")
I was napping before the O’s got started. Ain’t Saturday the best? 😛 > [@](#): > > _Giggled by Simple Dreamer_ > Hehehe, I’m still giggling myself. 😃 Do you jiggle when you giggle? I LOVE that! > [@](#): > > _Purred by Jaade_ > ~grins~ You just guarenteed I’ll be pouting a lot more! YAAAAY! > [@](#): > > _Quirred 🙂 by CasperQ_ > Eh, 6, was that a USED toothbrush that Wyatt was offering? It not so much that it was used… it’s what he was using it for. :eek: > [@](#): > > _Compliment from Davebear_ > Good work, If6! You’re definitely showing signs of worthiness. Always ready to help my _sensei_! 🙂 [voice]Buttkisser! if6: I told you to shut up! [voice]_whisper whisper whisper whisper if6: NO! I’m not burning any…_ Did I say that out loud? :smack: > [@](#): > > _Criticism from Davbear_ > If only it weren’t for that embarassing premature postulation problem. ☹ I’m working on it. Really! See, I got all these quotes in one post! > [@](#): > > _Quote from CasperQ_ > Remind me never to meet you in person - especially if you have a can of icing in one hand and… I thought you said it made you “catatonic AND on the ceiling just from reading…” Sounds like a good thing to me! 😃 Woo Hoo! 6 quotes in one. A personal best! ---
**Author:** ![CasperQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@CasperQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CasperQ)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2003, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1953 "2003-09-21T01:12:08Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by if6was9 \* I thought you said it made you “catatonic AND on the ceiling just from reading…” Sounds like a good thing to me! 😃_\* Mmmmmm… YES it was… ::\* bliss emoticon \*:: ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2003, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1954 "2003-09-21T02:58:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maureen \* > \*\*You talked me into it. That back room invitation still open? Just lemme get rid of this silly tank top. And these shorts would prolly jst get in the way, too…K. Got some massage oil right here. **Jaade** , **SD** , I know you don’t need my help with the rest of the guys, right? Not with those assets. I’m just going to um, let **Dave** help me with my headache. Thanks. \*\* Guys? If we’re not back in 24 hours, send pizza. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CasperQ \* > \*\*Today, I am. In the interest of chaos, that may change tomorrow. Remind me never to meet you in person - especially if you have a can of icing in one hand and… \*\* Well, ummm…just _how_ friendly a ghost are you? Oh, but I wouldn’t worry about the frosting. It needs something fairly corporeal to cling to. Besides, I prefer my women a little more …well…living. Not to mention gender-stable. Ah. Hmm. I’m not really sure what the proper etiquette is for meeting a ghost. Can’t shake hands, obviously. Saying “How you doing?” probably isn’t right, either. (“I’m _ **dead** _, you jackass!”) Can’t really offer you a drink, either, unless Topper was right. Don’t really wanna say “Welcome”, either, since I don’t want to be haunted. I’m afraid I know more about exorcising spirits than peacefully coexisting with them. How about I just stick to “Howdy”? > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Simple Dreamer \* > \*\*I beg to differ. This Mama loves to be treated that way. \*\* Ah,well. That’s different. You’re not _my_ Mama. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > \*\*What? Spankings? Me? ~bats eyelashes~ \*\* 😃 Thought so. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > \*\*Didn’t you see me frantically counting the days til my birthday?!? \*\* I saw you counting. Was that a _good_ sign? Coulda been figuring out when you needed to leave town. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > \*\*I am soooo confused… \*\* Awww, it’s okay, darlin’. You just come on in the back room, and me and Mama Mo will 'splain it all to you. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maureen \* > \*\*OOOOHHH…A four handed body rub? Bliss. Heaven. Fiveplay… Do I get to pick who does which side? 😃 \*\* Umm…guys? Make that 36 hours, and two pizzas. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by if6was9 \* > \*\*if6: NO! I’m not burning any… \*\* Burning? You’d better not be playing with matches, young man! > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CasperQ \* > \*\*Mmmmmm… YES it was… :: bliss emoticon :: \*\* Now, that’s more like it. ---
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2003, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1955 "2003-09-21T04:05:06Z")
> [@](#): > > Do you jiggle when you giggle? I LOVE that! Hehehe, yep. And when I walk (I don’t run… I don’t need black eyes), and lots of other times too. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![CasperQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@CasperQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CasperQ)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2003, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1956 "2003-09-21T04:16:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Davebear \* > Well, ummm…just _how_ friendly a ghost are you? Oh, but I wouldn’t worry about the frosting. It needs something fairly corporeal to cling to. Besides, I prefer my women a little more …well…living. Not to mention gender-stable. > > Ah. Hmm. I’m not really sure what the proper etiquette is for meeting a ghost. Can’t shake hands, obviously. Saying “How you doing?” probably isn’t right, either. (“I’m _ **dead** _, you jackass!”) Can’t really offer you a drink, either, unless Topper was right. Don’t really wanna say “Welcome”, either, since I don’t want to be haunted. I’m afraid I know more about exorcising spirits than peacefully coexisting with them. How about I just stick to “Howdy”? “Howdy” will do just fine, especially with myself being a native Houstonian! Though I beg to differ…)_respectfully, of course!_) I shook hands with many dopers at a HouDopeFest only a few months ago! As for the gender-switching, well, I can only get away with that online - my human form has all female flesh!! _But oh, yesss, please try to exorcise me… especially if it involves frosting, or a massage, or… ahmmmm…_ Tell me more about the exorcism process, please? :: innocent querying look :: ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2003, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1957 "2003-09-21T04:49:23Z")
Hi **Casper**! You decided on being female, right? Has anyone mentioned that you’re required to give your chest measurements? We have to calculate the water level in the hot tub to offset the floating boobage displacement factor, otherwise there could be spillage. [sub] **Davebear** has some pretty definite thoughts on spillage.[/sub] So if you could just pass that info along, I’m sure one of these men would be glad to adjust accordingly. The water level, I mean. [sub]Ok, guys, you owe me one. [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2003, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1958 "2003-09-21T05:23:54Z")
[Homer]UUMMMMMM! Floating Boobage! AAAAAAAAAAAAAA [/Homer] ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2003, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1959 "2003-09-21T06:24:53Z")
So **if6** , does this mean you’ve adjusted? > [@](#): > > \*\*\*Originally posted by Wyatt \* > > _Sends her a LOT of offers like that … and a bit beyond that … psychically …_ > > \*\* \*frantically dialing the Psychic Network Hotline \*put on hold \*humming along with “What’s it all about Alfie?” \*scratching lips after trying to hum those high notes \*answering machine? Don’t leave a message? Just think deep thoughts and they’ll know who I am and why I called? ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2003, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1960 "2003-09-21T06:36:32Z")
**Salem** , adjusted? I’m thinking you mean have I changed my mind about our more well-endowed babes. I’m not going to lie… any man would love a massive rack in his fingers… but I stand by my original statement, “But C’s are so perfect!” They float in water OR in the air… remain just as proud in water or out… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=97) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=99)