# Oh, My Freaking God! (Looong!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 13, 2003, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128 "2003-07-13T07:55:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 99
**Author:** ![Simple\_Dreamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@Simple\_Dreamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simple_Dreamer)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2003, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1961 "2003-09-21T11:38:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \…otherwise there could be spillage. _Some_ of us have a spillage problem anyhow. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2003, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1962 "2003-09-21T14:26:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CasperQ \* > \*\*“Howdy” will do just fine, especially with myself being a native Houstonian! \*\* Another Texan! I really have to get down to Texas, one of these days. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CasperQ \* > **Though I beg to differ…(_respectfully, of course!_) I shook hands with many dopers at a HouDopeFest only a few months ago! As for the gender-switching, well, I can only get away with that online - my human form has all female flesh!!** Ah! An ectoplasmic manifestation! Very cool. Always wanted to be present for such an event. [Homer] Mmmmmmm! Female flesh! [/Homer] > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CasperQ \* > \*\*_But oh, yesss, please try to exorcise me… especially if it involves frosting, or a massage, or… ahmmmm…_ > > Tell me more about the exorcism process, please? :: innocent querying look :: \*\* Somehow, I get the impression you aren’t really all that interested in leaving, so I don’t know that exorcism is an appropriate topic. But, had you invaded the body of a living person, it might very well require the laying on of hands. Hmmm…if you’d invaded Mama Mo, prior to her massage, that might have been an interesting experience for all concerned. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Salem \* > \*\* Hi Casper! You decided on being female, right? Has anyone mentioned that you’re required to give your chest measurements? \*\* Speaking of which…ahem! _gives **Salem** a meaningful look_ > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Salem \* > \*\* Ok, guys, you owe me one. \*\* One what, cutie? > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Salem \* > \*\* humming along with “What’s it all about Alfie?” \*\* Argh! Did I ever tell you guys that that was the first “grown up” movie I ever saw? I must have been about 5, at the time. Didn’t understand it, and absolutely hated it, and gave my sister a horrible time, because I wanted to leave. We couldn’t though, because our parents had dropped us off, and weren’t due back until the movie was over. Never did find out what they were thinking, sending a little kid to that movie. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Simple Dreamer_ > \*\* _Some_ of us have a spillage problem anyhow. ;)\*\* I don’t think that’s the kind of spillage she’s talking about. And, as I recall, you’re not a “spiller”. Besides, I have absolutely NO objections to _that_ kind of spillage. I’m always happy to help “clean up” that kind of spillage. ---
**Author:** ![CasperQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@CasperQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CasperQ)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2003, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1963 "2003-09-21T15:38:44Z")
> [@](#): > > _Musings by Davebear_: **Another Texan! I really have to get down to Texas, one of these days.** Y’all come back now, y’hear? > [@](#): > > _Exclaimed by Davebear_: \*\*Ah! An ectoplasmic manifestation! Very cool. Always wanted to be present for such an event. \*\* Quid pro quo… I’ll show you _ **my** _ manifestation if you show me _ **yours** _! 😃 > [@](#): > > - Homer-ed by Davebear\*: \*\*Mmmmmmm! Female flesh! \*\* :rolleyes: > [@](#): > > _speculated by Davebear_:\*\* Somehow, I get the impression you aren’t really all that interested in leaving, so I don’t know that exorcism is an appropriate topic. But, had you invaded the body of a living person, it might very well require the laying on of hands. Hmmm…if you’d invaded Mama Mo, prior to her massage, that might have been an interesting experience for all concerned.\*\* But I am _so_ particular about massages, you see. Some people like just having someone rub their skin in a light, tantalizing way - but I prefer massage to actually knead the muscles - to get the knots out and make me feel limp and boneless and _melting and languorous and positively LIQUID…_ :: \* pinches self \* :: Er, sorry about that… > [@](#): > > _proclaimed by if6was9_: **\ I stand by my original statement, “But C’s are so perfect!” They float in water OR in the air… remain just as proud in water or out…** Delightful to see someone who knows their mind on the subject! > [@](#): > > _put forth by Salem_: **\ Has anyone mentioned that you’re required to give your chest measurements? We have to calculate the water level in the hot tub to offset the floating boobage displacement factor, otherwise there could be spillage.** Right after you, ma’am… though I’ll say **if6** ’s position on the subject is delightfully flattering! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2003, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1964 "2003-09-21T16:00:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CasperQ \* > \*\*Right after you, ma’am… though I’ll say **if6** ’s position on the subject is delightfully flattering! 😉 \*\* Ahhh, a woman after my own…er…heart. I always said the best compliment a woman could ever get is an erection. > [@](#): > > Guys? If we’re not back in 24 hours, send pizza. Only 24? Didn’t you say something about cross-country rallies vs. drag races a page or so ago? > [@](#): > > _Offered rather hopefully by Dave_Awww, it’s okay, darlin’. You just come on in the back room, and me and Mama Mo will 'splain it all to you. Absolutely. You can keep me company while **Dave** is resting between rounds. Course, with that kind of incentive, I doubt he’ll need much rest 😉 Thank you so much, everyone…I’m feeling MUCH better today. ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1965 "2003-09-22T01:33:58Z")
Hello? Anyone home? Um, are the lights working now? Oh and **if6** , when I said adjusted, I was refering to a couple of posts up when I was talking about the water level. I’m sure you’re well-adjusted to all sizes and shapes. 😃 \*hitting submit, not even going to mess with preview[sub]who is otherwise my friend[/sub], saying prayers, thinking positive thoughts, crossing fingers, toes, eyes, legs, whatever it takes for the post to go through Shot down once… ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1966 "2003-09-22T01:41:47Z")
Hello? Anyone home? Um, are the lights working now? Oh and **if6** , when I said adjusted, I was refering to a couple of posts up when I was talking about the water level. I’m sure you’re well-adjusted to all sizes and shapes. 😃 \*hitting submit, not even going to mess with preview[sub]who is otherwise my friend[/sub], saying prayers, thinking positive thoughts, crossing fingers, toes, eyes, legs, whatever it takes for the post to go through Shot down once… ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1967 "2003-09-22T02:17:36Z")
Hello? Anyone home? Um, are the lights working now? Oh and **if6** , when I said adjusted, I was refering to a couple of posts up when I was talking about the water level. I’m sure you’re well-adjusted to all sizes and shapes. 😃 \*hitting submit, not even going to mess with preview[sub]who is otherwise my friend[/sub], saying prayers, thinking positive thoughts, crossing fingers, toes, eyes, legs, whatever it takes for the post to go through Shot down once…Shot down twice…three times[sub]but does she give up? No. Therapy might help.[sub] ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1968 "2003-09-22T02:27:13Z")
Hello? Anyone home? Um, are the lights working now? Oh and **if6** , when I said adjusted, I was refering to a couple of posts up when I was talking about the water level. I’m sure you’re well-adjusted to all sizes and shapes. 😃 \*hitting submit, not even going to mess with preview[sub]who is otherwise my friend[/sub], saying prayers, thinking positive thoughts, crossing fingers, toes, eyes, legs, whatever it takes for the post to go through Shot down once…Shot down twice…three times[sub]but does she give up? No. Therapy might help.[sub] ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1969 "2003-09-22T02:34:54Z")
Hello? Anyone home? Um, are the lights working now? Oh and **if6** , when I said adjusted, I was refering to a couple of posts up when I was talking about the water level. I’m sure you’re well-adjusted to all sizes and shapes. 😃 \*hitting submit, not even going to mess with preview[sub]who is otherwise my friend[/sub], saying prayers, thinking positive thoughts, crossing fingers, toes, eyes, legs, whatever it takes for the post to go through Shot down once…Shot down twice…three times[sub]but does she give up? No. Therapy might help.[sub] ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1970 "2003-09-22T02:45:29Z")
Hello? Anyone home? Um, are the lights working now? Oh and **if6** , when I said adjusted, I was refering to a couple of posts up when I was talking about the water level. I’m sure you’re well-adjusted to all sizes and shapes. 😃 \*hitting submit, not even going to mess with preview[sub]who is otherwise my friend[/sub], saying prayers, thinking positive thoughts, crossing fingers, toes, eyes, legs, whatever it takes for the post to go through Shot down once…Shot down twice…three times[sub]but does she give up? No. Therapy might help.[sub] ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1971 "2003-09-22T03:17:16Z")
Ok, I am so not even sure this post will go through, in which case I’ll be most unhappy. I am guessing we are all having the exact same problem today. I think the hamsters have declared war on us. > [@](#): > > **Maureen** > > OOOOHHH…A four handed body rub? Bliss. Heaven. Fiveplay… Do I get to pick who does which side? But of course darlin’. It’s your headache after all. > [@](#): > > **Davebear** > > Thought so. Why, whatever do you mean? > [@](#): > > I saw you counting. Was that a good sign? Coulda been figuring out when you needed to leave town. Only way I’m leaving town is if the party is at **mipiace’s**! > [@](#): > > Awww, it’s okay, darlin’. You just come on in the back room, and me and Mama Mo will 'splain it all to you. Okies…I don’t want to be overdressed though, should I leave my top and shorts with **Maureen’s**? > [@](#): > > **Maureen** > > Absolutely. You can keep me company while Dave is resting between rounds. Course, with that kind of incentive, I doubt he’ll need much rest I’d be happy to keep you company anytime darlin’. I’m glad you are feeling better **Maureen**! And **CasperQ** , I missed the last HouDope, please let me know if you hear of another one coming up soon! **Ringo** said there would be… ~J ~crosses everything that Salem crossed and sends her reply off into the cold dark night~ ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1972 "2003-09-22T03:39:58Z")
Ok, I am so not even sure this post will go through, in which case I’ll be most unhappy. I am guessing we are all having the exact same problem today. I think the hamsters have declared war on us. > [@](#): > > **Maureen** > > OOOOHHH…A four handed body rub? Bliss. Heaven. Fiveplay… Do I get to pick who does which side? But of course darlin’. It’s your headache after all. > [@](#): > > **Davebear** > > Thought so. Why, whatever do you mean? > [@](#): > > I saw you counting. Was that a good sign? Coulda been figuring out when you needed to leave town. Only way I’m leaving town is if the party is at **mipiace’s**! > [@](#): > > Awww, it’s okay, darlin’. You just come on in the back room, and me and Mama Mo will 'splain it all to you. Okies…I don’t want to be overdressed though, should I leave my top and shorts with **Maureen’s**? > [@](#): > > **Maureen** > > Absolutely. You can keep me company while Dave is resting between rounds. Course, with that kind of incentive, I doubt he’ll need much rest I’d be happy to keep you company anytime darlin’. I’m glad you are feeling better **Maureen**! And **CasperQ** , I missed the last HouDope, please let me know if you hear of another one coming up soon! **Ringo** said there would be… ~J ~crosses everything that Salem crossed and sends her reply off into the cold dark night~ ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1973 "2003-09-22T06:29:59Z")
Pooor lil’ hamsters … just having a horrible time this evening! And I am SO offended!!! Y’all thought I would be offering Dirty Used Toothbrushes to folks???!?!?!??!?!? Goodness!!! > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wyatt \* > \*\*Not saying _who_ says this about themselves … > > “Mom, daughter, sister, friend, and general chaotician” > > but a general chaotician??? … Looks like this girl is gonna fit _right_ in!!! \*\* Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to confuse anyone! I was just reading _profiles_ again … but WHo??? BooWHo was I referring to??? oh No-Body … yeah, that’s it … no-Body … no-Body at all, y’all. ---
**Author:** ![Wyatt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b19c9b/32.png) [@Wyatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wyatt)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1974 "2003-09-22T06:38:53Z")
\*quietly sets up little stand … and tacks up the sign “GrassHoppers fine quality Toothbrushes” Toothbrushes!!! GetChur fine, fresh, new, _sanitary_ toothbrushes!!! Right here! Step right up! and tub Snorkels get chur tub snorkels, right here! Be able to stay under water for that little bit longer… get chur tub snorkels!!! Hot massage oils … we have the latest scents and flavors … Hot Massage oils … Every cent we make goes to feed poor starving students!!! ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1975 "2003-09-22T07:33:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Salem \* > \*\*Hello? Anyone home? Um, are the lights working now? > > Oh and **if6** , when I said adjusted, I was refering to a couple of posts up when I was talking about the water level. I’m sure you’re well-adjusted to all sizes and shapes. 😃 > > \*hitting submit, not even going to mess with preview[sub]who is otherwise my friend[/sub], saying prayers, thinking positive thoughts, crossing fingers, toes, eyes, legs, whatever it takes for the post to go through > Shot down once… \*\* **Salem** , can you say that again, I didn’t hear you… **Salem** , can you say that again, I didn’t hear you… **Salem** , can you say that again, I didn’t hear you… I’m just joking dear… the hamsters were really near death today. 🙂 At least I had **mipiace** to talk to all afternoon… Don’t know if she’ll be talking to me tomorrow tho…☹ And who knows what happened to **Psalex**? I haven’t heard from her all weekend… ☹ Hee Hee! Who wants to be the next Davebear Babe[sup]TM[/sup] that gets pissed off by what I e-mail? Wait! That’s not funny… **Wyatt** , you’re a hoot! Wait! No one understands that either… **Wyatt** , you are very funny! You make me laugh! ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1976 "2003-09-22T11:31:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CasperQ \* > **Quid pro quo… I’ll show you _my_ manifestation if you show me _yours_! 😃** I’ve seen yours. I clicked the WWW button under one of your posts. Cute, but not worth a quid. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CasperQ \* > **But I am _so_ particular about massages, you see. Some people like just having someone rub their skin in a light, tantalizing way - but I prefer massage to actually knead the muscles - to get the knots out and make me feel limp and boneless and _melting and languorous and positively LIQUID…_** Ghosts have muscles? Who knew? But, no problem, there. I generally leave women feeling limp and languorous. In your case, I guess the spirit would be willing, but the flesh weak. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Maureen \* > **Only 24? Didn’t you say something about cross-country rallies vs. drag races a page or so ago?** That’s why I asked them to send IN pizza; so we don’t have to go out to get it. The longer the trip, the greater the need for fuel. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > **Only way I’m leaving town is if the party is at mipiace’s!** I kinda thought the party would be right here. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jaade \* > \*\*Okies…I don’t want to be overdressed though, should I leave my top and shorts with Maureen’s? \*\* Please do. Right next to mine. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wyatt \* > \*\*Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to confuse anyone! I was just reading profiles again \*\* You mean…people actually put _useful_ information in their profiles? :eek: Well, I’m glad I wasn’t trying to post, yesterday. I hate when that happens. But, I have found one little trick to help avoid the multi-post. Well, two tricks, really; one is to copy the entire post to the clipboard, in case the hamsters lose it. The other is, when it seems like it’s taking forever to post, click the stop button after a few minutes. Often, the post has gone through, and it will show up, even though the screen shows that I’m still in reply mode. ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1977 "2003-09-22T11:43:38Z")
Ahem…Um…It’s not that I was…um…hitting submit in frustration and…cursing the cute little hamsters or anything… Glad I made that clear, **if6** …yah, that was it. Wanted to make sure you heard me. _slinking out to hit submit ONCE_ ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1978 "2003-09-22T13:04:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Salem \* > \*\*Ahem…Um…It’s not that I was…um…hitting submit in frustration and…cursing the cute little hamsters or anything \*\* Of course not! And, it’s not like I learned those tricks the hard way, either. I…ummm…deduced them. Yeah, that’s it. ---
**Author:** ![mipiace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@mipiace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mipiace)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1979 "2003-09-22T13:58:27Z")
YAY! Another Texas girl…you know it used to be that there were more of you in Boston but it seems the geography is shifting. THe party is most definitely turning LoneStar. We may have to throw a big Tex-Mex shin-dig girls. Yeah teh hamsters definitely banned me all day yesterday, I was barred from the club. Dave - while you have indicated that you and I share the same philosophies about cross country drives, it has yet to be proven whether or not you have the skill to strip my gears. You are gonna have to make that trip to Texas to see if your mucles car outclasses my finely tuned sports car engine darlin’. Casper - Howdy (welcome) I’m not afraid of a ghost - we defnitely need to plan a OMFG Texan Dope fest of our own !! (with or without icing) ---
**Author:** ![tanookie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/48db29/32.png) [@tanookie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tanookie)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2003, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128/1980 "2003-09-22T14:05:26Z")
Seems we picked a good day to be busy all day. The hamsters wouldn’t have let me play anyway. We spent the day at Grandma’s sorting through her life and seeing what we wanted/needed. It was creepy and very sad. Oh and thanks to Jaade and Salem for visiting my lonely [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=4010000#post4010000) and wishing us anniversary kudos. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=98) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-freaking-god-looong/188128.md?page=100)