# Oh my... God? Err, Jesus that's tacky... oops. Um, this is funny! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 18, 2002, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253 "2002-04-18T02:48:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![caveman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/caveman/32/7242_2.png) [@caveman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caveman)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253/21 "2002-04-18T13:21:23Z")
Commandment 11: Thou shalt not put the smack-down on the Lord thy God. ---
**Author:** ![Fibonacci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Fibonacci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fibonacci)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253/22 "2002-04-18T13:58:04Z")
This was one of Weird Earl’s links a while back. [http://www.christslove.com/cl1.htm](http://www.christslove.com/cl1.htm) More Jesus on the web, including Our Savior [http://www.catholicsupply.com/christmas/basketball.html](http://www.catholicsupply.com/christmas/basketball.html) in sports and Betty Bowers. Weird Earl’s archives are a treasure trove. Periodic perusals are highly recommended. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253/23 "2002-04-18T14:01:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zut \* > \*\*All right, Timmy, you cover Bobby; Jimmy, you cover Dylan; Tony, you cover Ron; I’ll drop back as a safety…and Markie, if they hand off to the Lord again, you try to nail him in the backfield. OK? Break! \*\* I’m trying hard not to laugh out loud, so my eyes are tearing up. I haven’t had this problem since **Cranky** ’s onion rings thread. ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253/24 "2002-04-18T14:07:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by auRa \* > **I just wonder why Jesus insists on wearing that white robe. […] And talk about track and field… I can just picture the difficulties Jesus would have retaining his dignity trying to pole vault in that thing.** I have just had a vision of Jesus trying to do the 200m hurdles while wearing an ankle-length white robe and hippie sandals. I am _so_ going to Hell. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253/25 "2002-04-18T14:09:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zut \* > \*\*All right, Timmy, you cover Bobby; Jimmy, you cover Dylan; Tony, you cover Ron; I’ll drop back as a safety…and Markie, if they hand off to the Lord again, you try to nail him in the backfield. OK? Break! \*\* “Just a hunch, but I’m guessing they’ll go for the Hail Mary play again…” ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253/26 "2002-04-18T14:24:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lucki Chaarms \* > **I also love the way that Jesus seems to taunting the kids in the second picture. Classic.** A friend of mine found that picture and added a caption something like, “Who’s your Saviour? Say it and you get the ball back! Say my name!” ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253/27 "2002-04-18T14:26:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ballybay \* > \*\*Does Jesus always walk on water or can he turn off the ability at will? If it’s the former, it explains the lack of Swimming ‘n’ Diving Jesus. \*\* Actually, He _used_ to be able to walk on water, but, ever since they made those holes in His feet… ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253/28 "2002-04-18T14:27:36Z")
It’s the captions that make seeing the collection here priceless: [http://www.brunching.com/features/sportjesus.html](http://www.brunching.com/features/sportjesus.html) ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253/29 "2002-04-18T17:32:11Z")
If you think that’s funny, you guys need to visit: [www.jesuschristsuperstore.net](http://www.jesuschristsuperstore.net) Religious action figures, “Putting the ‘Fun’ in ‘Fundamentalism’.” Wonderful stuff. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253/30 "2002-04-18T17:37:38Z")
Oh, you know the basketball one should be captioned, “You kids ain’t got no game! No game! BOOYA! THE SAVIOR DUNKS!” ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253/31 "2002-04-18T17:52:17Z")
Well, who else do you know of that had a three hours “hang time”? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crown_Prince_of_Irony)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253/32 "2002-04-18T17:56:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \* > \*\* . . . I’m holding out for **Fight Club Jesus** , myself. \*\* **First Commandment of Fight Club**. . . Screw it - you all know the rest . . . ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253/33 "2002-04-18T18:03:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Polycarp \* > Well, who else do you know of that had a three hours “hang time”? :eek: FUNNIEST. BLASPHEMY. EVER. **Polycarp** , I’m speechless. I can’t breathe and I think I pulled something in my eyes when they grew so wide. ---
**Author:** ![friggae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/45deac/32.png) [@friggae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friggae)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253/34 "2002-04-18T18:12:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tortuga \* > \*\*Ah, that was on Conan O’Brien; they made up their own statues and of course I don’t remember any of them. \*\* That’s where I found out about these too! The ones I remember were Jesus sneakily stealing something from Derek Jeter’s locker, and Jesus sitting in an office chair playing solitaire on the computer. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253/35 "2002-04-18T18:34:30Z")
**Poly** , if one day I met you, and you told me to sell everything I own, give the money to the poor, and follow you… I probably would. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Grelby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a5b964/32.png) [@Grelby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grelby)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253/36 "2002-04-18T18:57:22Z")
Sure, Jesus is a great role model and all, but… how do the Catholics reconcile that with the strong homoerotic pedophilic images of the baseball and football statues? Or the ballet, golf, and (especially) gymnastics statues that just SCREAM “molestation.” I dunno, I just found these to be creepy :p. Though I agree, the hockey one is funny :). ---
**Author:** ![zut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zut/32/2875_2.png) [@zut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zut)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2002, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253/37 "2002-04-18T19:01:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \* > “Just a hunch, but I’m guessing they’ll go for the Hail Mary play again…” Seriously though, how could it possibly be any fun playing a team sport against Jesus? First of all, you know He’s going to be one of the captains; wouldn’t it just _suck_ to NOT get picked by the Lord? (“All right!” says Jesus, “We’re gonna play some basketball! Sheep versus goats!”) Second of all, Jesus is Perfect. If He can walk on water and rise from the dead, He should have no problem hitting nothing but net from beyond the three-point line. All the other team has to do is get the ball into the Lord’s hands and they’re guaranteed some points. (Can’t you just hear the kids? “C’mon, Billy, you moron, pass the ball to Jesus! PASS IT TO JESUS! JESUS IS OPEN!”) That’s probably why the kid in the football statue is giving JC a cheap shot tackle before He gets the ball. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253/38 "2002-04-19T09:34:40Z")
Some questions: 1. When did ballet become a _sport_? 2. Since when does ice hockey involve three teams? I mean, it’s not like Jesus is wearing the uniform of either of the other two teams. 3. Will we see other “Bible action figures” in similar circumstances? Will there be a “Moses swimteam” figurine, showing him strolling up the middle of the pool? Will we see Nimrod basejumping? King David throwing the shot? St. Sebastian in an archery competition? The sky’s the limit, I tell you… ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253/39 "2002-04-19T12:07:24Z")
[http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/](http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/) And it had to happen: [http://www.sortakinda.com/look/withyoualways.shtml](http://www.sortakinda.com/look/withyoualways.shtml) My favourite is the trucker… he looks like they’re about to run down someone’s pet or something. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253/40 "2002-04-19T12:25:34Z")
[http://www.cheesyjesus.com/online-store/scstore/](http://www.cheesyjesus.com/online-store/scstore/) Another one worth a good laugh. No offense intended, of course. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-err-jesus-thats-tacky-oops-um-this-is-funny/104253.md?page=3)