# Oh my God, somebody call the Church Lady! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 31, 2001, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671 "2001-10-31T06:03:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671/41 "2001-10-31T22:33:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by abuse angel \* > those of you who were here for the left behind message board incident, remember how well that went over? isn’t this pretty much the same thing, only picking on someone smaller? Actually, that was justified; this isn’t. This kid has done nothing to us; his page leads off with what appears to be a backhanded slam at **FUB** , though without naming names. Her post was reasonable, and our criticism of his site here was reasonable. Dumping a whole bunch of shit in his guestbook was wrong. Oh sure, his page was on the Web, accessible to the public, and all that. But in the normal course of events, just about all the people who would have found it would have been like-minded types. Instead, what happened here was a brief bit of mob psychology for which we should apologize. The LBMB thing was different. We who posted over there did so in a legitimate fashion, and were every bit as well-behaved as the posters there who were into the LB groupthink. (OK, that wasn’t always saying much, but still.) We weren’t there to attack them, and we didn’t make any effort to coordinate our posts. Many of us who posted there then, became respected regs at the Pizza Parlor, when it started up as a less paranoiac successor to the LBMB. The _only_ thing we did ‘wrong’ was to chat about our experiences _there_, in a thread _here_. I still don’t consider that to be more than a trivial offense, if that. Here, though, we’re ganging up on this kid. That’s wrong. As the saying goes, if we’re gonna pick on someone, we should try picking on someone our own size. 'Nuff said. ---
**Author:** ![abuse\_angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d07c76/32.png) [@abuse\_angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abuse_angel)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671/42 "2001-10-31T22:34:18Z")
he doesn’t. the link referred to is the one posted in the op of this thread. which is why Joyfulgirl said that she hoped “he doesn’t take it out on FireUnderpantsBoobs for posting the link.” ---
**Author:** ![LoverBoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@LoverBoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LoverBoy)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671/43 "2001-10-31T22:37:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > FUB, > > Is it at all possible that the fellow, in the years that intervened after you dated him, met someone else or two or three or ten? And is this what you had hoped to accomplish? Having strangers crash his website and sling their feces all over his walls? > > I don’t know who linked back to this page, except that they were an angel of mercy. \ No; she dated him about two years ago and he still goes to the same school. (I attend the same school as well.) He has not dated anyone. I also know FUB, and I know she didn’t intend for people to go “crash his site”, as you put it. I agree with FUB’s OPs to the guestbook and to this board. If he was sexually immoral, most people are depraved, vile, and/or base creatures. - Rob ---
**Author:** ![abuse\_angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d07c76/32.png) [@abuse\_angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/abuse_angel)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671/44 "2001-10-31T22:40:26Z")
> [@](#): > > The LBMB thing was different. We who posted over there did so in a legitimate fashion, and were every bit as well-behaved as the posters there who were into the LB groupthink. (OK, that wasn’t always saying much, but still.) We weren’t there to attack them, and we didn’t make any effort to coordinate our posts. Many of us who posted there then, became respected regs at the Pizza Parlor, when it started up as a less paranoiac successor to the LBMB. The only thing we did ‘wrong’ was to chat about our experiences there, in a thread here. I still don’t consider that to be more than a trivial offense, if that. they may have been in the minority, but i do recall a few sdmber’s who were not so nice. however, the connection i was drawing was in the number of people rushing over to some other board/site/guesbook. i recall that the administration here did not approve last time, despite how well-behaved most of us were. the rest of what you said i agree with wholeheartedly. ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671/45 "2001-10-31T22:44:11Z")
I know he used to look at porn, but that was when he was _little_–not a teen like he expressed in his page. He hasn’t met and/or fooled around with any girls since me; I would somehow hear about it if he was (I have weird friends). As for whoever posted the link, _thank you very much_. I also didn’t mean for everybody to gang up on him in his guestbook! This is something semi-personal between me and him. I suppose I shouldn’t have posted it on a MB if it was so personal, but I don’t call your stepmothers or brothers-in-law and tell them what asses they are when you all rant at them. ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671/46 "2001-10-31T23:22:47Z")
> [@](#): > > No, Monster, I’m the loser. I wrote some really nice things in your guest book some time ago. I’m the loser for having written them. Well, damn. Because I decided to post something facetious and entirely sarcastic means I’m not a nice guy or not worthy of compliments? I strongly resent this personal slam against me that you posted. What with my references to Buddy Jesus, it should have been pretty damn evident that my addition was not meant to be that serious (Although, I still stand by my position that his page is whack. Isn’t proclaiming your religious nature in such a public forum as the internet against many common beliefs in Christian religions?). I’m sorry you feel I am not worthy of any good appraisal, **Lib**. I feel very differently. ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671/47 "2001-10-31T23:25:55Z")
> [@](#): > > Isn’t proclaiming your religious nature in such a public forum as the internet against many common beliefs in Christian religions? I knew something would come out wrong. “Religious nature” should be replaced with “faith”. ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671/48 "2001-10-31T23:33:52Z")
I only posted in his guestbook because I don’t agree with his website. It didn’t have anything to do with his slam against FUB, that’s their business. ---
**Author:** ![SavedByJesus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@SavedByJesus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SavedByJesus)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2001, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671/49 "2001-10-31T23:58:05Z")
Shame on you all. Although the boy did not say it in the most eloquent way possible, he is right. He decided to walk with the Lord and to follow the ways of God that are set out in his ordained word. Shame on those of you who are not even trying to persuade him to change, just trying to hurt. Shame on you all. For lack of a better expression, Jesus does rock. Shame on you all for supposedly being so educated and tolerant and worldly, yet you shamelessly degrade people of faith. Go and think of what you’ve done to this boy, and know that Jesus will walk with any of you if you only ask. Saved By JESUS ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671/50 "2001-11-01T00:02:31Z")
Wow. That [anti-masturbation site](http://www.geocities.com/for_purity/) is unreal! > [@](#): > > If we outlaw dildos and require that all sausages, cucumbers and carrots be sold pre-sliced, we will make it much easier for the women among us to resist the temptation to Masturbate. It’s gotta be a joke. I hope it’s a joke. This is from the FAQs: > [@](#): > > Place random Masturbation-checkpoint roadblocks in America’s cities where motorists will be stopped and their cars searched for signs of Masturbation by police with finger-sniffing dogs. Finger-sniffing dogs? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671/51 "2001-11-01T00:04:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RTFirefly \* > [B\ > Oh sure, his page was on the Web, accessible to the public, and all that. But in the normal course of events, just about all the people who would have found it would have been like-minded types. Instead, what happened here was a brief bit of mob psychology for which _we_ should apologize. > > The LBMB thing was different. We who posted over there did so in a legitimate fashion, and were every bit as well-behaved as the posters there who were into the LB groupthink. (OK, that wasn’t always saying much, but still.) We weren’t there to attack them, and we didn’t make any effort to coordinate our posts. Many of us who posted there then, became respected regs at the Pizza Parlor, when it started up as a less paranoiac successor to the LBMB. The _only_ thing we did ‘wrong’ was to chat about our experiences _there_, in a thread _here_. I still don’t consider that to be more than a trivial offense, if that. > > Here, though, _we’re_ ganging up on this kid. That’s wrong. As the saying goes, if _we’re_ gonna pick on someone, _we_ should try picking on someone our own size. > > 'Nuff said. \*\* “WE?” Roscoe, did I ever tell you you’re a classy guy, and you make me proud to be a member of the same MB as you? Well, you are and you do. Perhaps I should apologize to him in his guestbook, but that strikes me as adding fuel to the flames, so I’ll post mine here, in the event that he follows the link. Rob, please forgive me for my post above, in which I advocated that **FireUnderpantsBoobs** should have posted deliberately provocative content to your guestbook. If this in any way contributed to others’ decisions to post anything mean, I am truly sorry. May you be blessed with a life that is rich and fulfilling. ---
**Author:** ![Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/df788c/32.png) [@Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ben)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671/52 "2001-11-01T00:04:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SavedByJesus \* > \*\*Go and think of what you’ve done to this boy, and know that Jesus will walk with any of you if you only ask. > \*\* SavedByJesus, I asked with every fiber of my being, and Jesus never showed up. Why not? -Ben ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671/53 "2001-11-01T00:04:59Z")
Oh, here’s another one: > [@](#): > > The women in our > Church, the Full-Gospel Fire-Baptized Holiness Association of God, Inc., hold solemn Memorial Services for every spent maxi-pad, and pray for an end to the Unholy Slaughter. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671/54 "2001-11-01T00:09:34Z")
Jesus saves. Jagr gets the rebound. Ge shoots . . . he scores!! ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671/55 "2001-11-01T00:11:24Z")
Hmpht. Captian Typo saves the day again. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671/56 "2001-11-01T00:27:41Z")
Captian Typo? ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671/57 "2001-11-01T00:38:35Z")
Yes, that masturbation site is a joke. I bet Jesus Boy thinks it’s real, however. ---
**Author:** ![Joyfulgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f04885/32.png) [@Joyfulgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joyfulgirl)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671/58 "2001-11-01T00:39:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Green Bean \* > \*\*Captian Typo? \*\* What an appropriate name. 😃 And BTW, just so everyone knows, _he_ never said anything about masturbation in his site. It was the person who signed his guestbook who said it. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671/59 "2001-11-01T02:25:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andros \* > Jesus saves. > > Jagr gets the rebound. Ge shoots . . . he scores!! Well, he durn well _better_ - my hometown NHL team just laid out a fortune for that boy. 😉 And **kaylasdad** - thanks. And I should mention that I was sorely tempted to join in, for a few minutes, before good sense took over. And at my age, I should know better, as everyone’s momma would say. So even though I didn’t actually post to the guestbook, I felt strongly that I was in some way part of that ‘we’. ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2001, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671/60 "2001-11-01T02:26:37Z")
Well, I now relinquich my Pit virginity by posting to this thread. I’m not outraged at anything, but I just want to say that the following (taken from the anti-masturbation page) is now my new sig: "If you walk into your son’s bedroom without knocking and he’s in there with his pants down holding his erect penis, he’s probably Masturbating. "😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-somebody-call-the-church-lady/90671.md?page=4)