# Oh my god, there's an axe in my head! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 10, 2005, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-theres-an-axe-in-my-head/293843 "2005-03-10T15:22:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-theres-an-axe-in-my-head/293843/41 "2005-03-11T17:25:16Z")
Oh great. Now there’s _two_ websites with the phrase iliya pashum ina reshimi bashu. That’s gonna screw up the search hamsters for sure. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-theres-an-axe-in-my-head/293843/42 "2005-03-11T17:39:52Z")
> [@melondeca](#): > > Well…I could one day be standing in a room full of blind people all of whom are speaking a foreign language while unbeknownst to me, my best friend’s cousin’s grandmother is on her way to this hypothetical room. She is very ticked off because my best friend’s cousin’s other cousin broke her favorite teacup. This teacup survived the boat ride from the motherland and it used to walk 20 miles to school in 13 feet of snow uphill both ways just so it could be a smart teacup worthy of the teacup shelf and the tasty hot green chai made with soy milk. Now this very smart and talented teacup has a crack in it rendering it unworthy. You’ll remember that my best friend’s cousin’s other cousin is the one who is responsible for the crack but because she is a pathological liar who has been babied by her mother all the time and never made to take responsibility for anything including her disgusting halitosis and horrifying body odor, she decides to lie about the teacup and blame it on me, once again shirking her responsibility and further continuing a lifelong pattern. The grandmother, who believes her granddaughter can do no wrong further enabling this pattern of pathalogical lying, automatically believes that I am the guilty party. The grandmother has some mental issues what with thinking that a plain ordinary teacup is capable of holding in all the goodness that is hot green chai made with soy milk. I mean really, what was she thinking. So anyway the grandmother decides that because I put a crack in the teacup she is going to take her trusty axe out of the freezer (don’t ask about the axe in the freezer…it all goes back to the frosted flake killer and that is just confusing) and put a crack in my skull. She finds me in the room of blind people and runs forward to exact her revenge but trips over a white cane and instead of killing me she lodges the axe in a gruesome but non-fatal sort of way. Remember though, all the people in the room are blind and speaking a foreign language so they have no idea of the horrors that have just occurred and can only hear my screams and disjointed mutterings. I am unfamiliar with the language that is being spoken and my braille typewriter was submitted as evidence after my cat wrote the ransom note to the three blind mice so I decide to go through the list of 112 ways to say, “Oh my god, there’s and axe in head”. I start spouting off horribly mispronounced phrases thinking to myself that it is a good thing I memorized the whole list because I knew someday it would come in handy. Unfortunately, the language being spoken is Zulu which is the last on the list and by the time I get to the end of the list, the blind people have all left the room and are standing in the next room gossiping about the idiot who is babbling and apparently speaking in tongues leaving me to whip out the trusty eylash curlers and pry the axe out of my head without any sort of medical assistance. When the grandmother realized that I was not dead and I was standing over her with an axe in one hand and eyelash curlers in the other, she decided to apologize and we chatted over hot green chai made with soy milk and served in a big mug, not one of those pussified teacups. And all was well. Not again! I hate it when that happens. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2005, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-theres-an-axe-in-my-head/293843/43 "2005-03-11T17:51:11Z")
> [@The Devil's Grandmother](#): > > Dang, dude. I stand in awe at the size of your blender. And I, sir, stand in awe of your . . . ah . . . goodbye now ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-theres-an-axe-in-my-head/293843/44 "2005-03-12T00:11:27Z")
This reminds me of the “I can eat glass” project started by a Harvard undergrad by the name of Ethan Mollick way back in the mid 90’s. Sadly, the page is no longer around, though, the content is still archived. [http://web.archive.org/web/20040201212958/http://hcs.harvard.edu/~igp/glass.html](http://web.archive.org/web/20040201212958/http://hcs.harvard.edu/~igp/glass.html) Almost as amusing as the old site dedicated to the “99 Bottles of Beer” song as written in almost every programming language imaginable. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-theres-an-axe-in-my-head/293843/45 "2005-03-12T01:02:25Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > We’re all a little mad here… 😃 > > In what situation, exactly, **melondeca** , would you find yourself with an axe in your head? Note that it has " Norse, Ancient: Haurheghaud, ijh hehe einght aghsethe hjij haafhohuhede!"- the Vikings sometimes did ‘ax tossing’ when they were bored. ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-theres-an-axe-in-my-head/293843/46 "2005-03-12T01:09:13Z")
> [@klintypooh](#): > > I like the emoticon. > > k:-O > :d and > [@klintypooh](#): > > Errrrrm the second one was supposed to be a smile, but now it can be his cap that fell off and 2 head lice. Odd. I thought it was a turtle being plagued by UFOs. ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-theres-an-axe-in-my-head/293843/47 "2005-03-12T01:12:11Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Note that it has " Norse, Ancient: Haurheghaud, ijh hehe einght aghsethe hjij haafhohuhede!"- the Vikings sometimes did ‘ax tossing’ when they were bored. You could say “Oh my God! There’s a Lawn Dart in my head,” but they’ve been outlawed. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-theres-an-axe-in-my-head/293843/48 "2005-03-12T15:52:32Z")
> [@klintypooh](#): > > I like the emoticon. > > k:-O > :d Yeah, it gives a whole new meaning to being “K.O.-ed” 😃 * * * True Blue Jack ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-theres-an-axe-in-my-head/293843/49 "2005-03-12T16:07:31Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Note that it has " Norse, Ancient: Haurheghaud, ijh hehe einght aghsethe hjij haafhohuhede!"- the Vikings sometimes did ‘ax tossing’ when they were bored. That’s a good point… Hey! Where did **Regallag the Axe** go? Uhoh. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2005, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-theres-an-axe-in-my-head/293843/50 "2005-03-12T17:24:08Z")
> [@Menocchio](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > Norse, Ancient: Haurheghaud, ijh hehe einght aghsethe hjij haafhohuhede! > > You know, you’d think that’d be a vital phrase to the Norse, and thus quicker to say. Perhaps the Viking that coined that phrase was suffering from brain damage? ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-theres-an-axe-in-my-head/293843/51 "2005-03-13T01:16:24Z")
> [@Strinka](#): > > That should be Gott with a capital [G]. I’m sure a fluent German speaker will be around to correct any other mistakes. Does that mean that in German, they can _hear_ when you forget to capitalize? ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-theres-an-axe-in-my-head/293843/52 "2005-03-13T04:39:53Z")
Woohoo, got me a Weird Earls/Threadspotting double-header with this thread! Now that can’t have happened too often. Thanks guys! ---
**Author:** ![melondeca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@melondeca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melondeca)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-theres-an-axe-in-my-head/293843/53 "2005-03-13T06:07:06Z")
> [@Askance](#): > > Woohoo, got me a Weird Earls/Threadspotting double-header with this thread! Now that can’t have happened too often. Thanks guys! Always happy to help. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2005, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-theres-an-axe-in-my-head/293843/54 "2005-03-13T08:40:43Z")
Coincidentally, recently I was showing the GrizzCub a scar where I once had an axe in my head. (Okay… not _in_ my head exactly, but it was a nasty slice caused by a very sharp hatchet.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-my-god-theres-an-axe-in-my-head/293843.md?page=2)