# Oh noes, we're surrounded! Chuck Norris is going to kick our asses! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 10, 2009, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932 "2009-03-10T07:57:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/101 "2009-03-11T16:57:34Z")
> [@LonesomePolecat](#): > > They’re angry at Wall Street, they’re angry at illegal immigration, they’re angry at the Democrats and Republicans, they’re angry about their jobs being shipped overseas, they’re generally angry about a politial and economic system that seems to be wildly out of control and unresponsive to them. _HEIL_ Lou Dobbs, _der neue Führer_! I’ve no problem believing there’s a large contingent of overarmed wingnuts anxious to freedom-fight in Apocalypse Economica. I suspect there’s a lot of overlap between them and the brave soldiers who are _still_ waiting patiently for the Great Race War against the mud people. ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/102 "2009-03-11T16:58:17Z")
> [@Saltire](#): > > Just wanted to say that after reading this thread, the Seattle SDMB pub trivia team went under the name **Chuck Norris’ Kung-Fu Theocracy**. That’s better than the name we went with: **Unemployed, Foreclosed, and Playing with My Wii** ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/103 "2009-03-11T17:00:45Z")
Fucking hell. I don’t know how long it will last, but on the [front page of Yahoo](http://www.yahoo.com)there’s a thing about Chuck Norris. Click on the link and it’s an innocuous story about it being his birthday. Not one word about his batshit craziness. Yahoo’s been my home page ever since I’ve _had_ a home page. Not anymore. Fuck you Yahoo. Oh damn, on preview I clicked on the link and it’s been changed, but it was there, and the link went to [this story](http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/buzz-log-chuck-norris.html). ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/104 "2009-03-11T17:02:15Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > I think there will be room in the US for all the overly touchy oh-don’t-blame-us-for-the-majority-of-other-southerners CSA expatriots. Uh huh. Majority? Prove it, and while you’re at it, you’d better add Colorado to that list, since the Front Range is now pretty much the nation’s hotbed of fundamentalism and racism. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/105 "2009-03-11T17:16:52Z")
> [@LonesomePolecat](#): > > Call me “batshit crazy” all you please, but more and more middle and working class whites feel badly alienated and are growing angry, and the current economic crisis seems to have accelerated this. Moreover, they are not delusional and have sound reasons for feeling this way. This deserves sober attention, not mockery. According to the [latest Gallup poll](http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/2009/03/hows-he-doing.html), 62% of Americans approve of the job President Obama (that’s President Barack Hussein Obama to you) is doing. 22% disapprove, which, and I’m not going to go looking for a cite, is about the same percentage of Americans who are always in Fuck-You-Democrats mode, no matter what’s going on. Sure, people (not batshit crazy) are upset, but the not batshit crazy ones seem to understand that what’s going on is not President Obama’s fault, and that he’s doing what he can to make things better, and that it will take time for his plans to work. The 22% batshit crazy ones are to be mocked (and watched closely by the FBI and Secret Service, thank you very much guys). ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/106 "2009-03-11T17:18:01Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Uh huh. Majority? Prove it, and while you’re at it, you’d better add Colorado to that list, since the Front Range is now pretty much the nation’s hotbed of fundamentalism and racism. Apparantly you haven’t been paying attention. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/107 "2009-03-11T17:32:28Z")
> [@Lamar\_Mundane](#): > > Apparantly you haven’t been paying attention. Well, my substandard Southern education taught me to spell. ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/108 "2009-03-11T17:34:32Z")
Speaking as a Texan, Chuck Norris is an asshole from Oklahoma. Enough said. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/109 "2009-03-11T17:34:38Z")
> [@Dissonance](#): > > Save the white race from those liberals, jews, niggers and spics? Ah, I see you’re familiar with the **LonesomePolecat** _oeuvre_. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/110 "2009-03-11T17:39:30Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Well, my substandard Southern education taught me to spell. And yet that same education leads many southerner to vote Republican. That failure certainly isn’t limited or universal to the south, but it is common there. So in short the blue southern states are A-okay, but red ones, well their own elections show they’re stupid mouth breathing morons who either hate or America, or are too stupid to see why they’re hurting her. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/111 "2009-03-11T17:46:58Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > And yet that same education leads many southerner to vote Republican. That failure certainly isn’t limited or universal to the south, but it is common there. > > So in short the blue southern states are A-okay, but red ones, well their own elections show they’re stupid mouth breathing morons who either hate or America, or are too stupid to see why they’re hurting her. Ah, bigotry and stupidity are indeed alive and well on the SDMB. “That same education”? Are you trolling me, or are you this dumb? You do realize that the South has the same diverse sources of education that the rest of the country has, right? Public, private, parochial, etc.? Or did you think we were all “edumacated” in a little red schoolhouse with a dirt floor, somewhere on the outskirts of Wedowee? As for the rest of your political screed, well, I’m no Republican, but from your post, I can see why a lot of rural Republicans think Democrats are assholes. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/112 "2009-03-11T17:51:16Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I think he’s claiming that they blame _the system_, not Obama. It’s not an unreasonable assertion; most of the really weird non-Klan non-Nazi right-wing groups think some sort of eeeeevil cartel is controlling the world but don’t necessarily think it’s Jewish. > > Check out Alex Jones on InfoWars for a good laugh. But where was all the info about them lockin’ and loadin’ for the last eight years? -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/113 "2009-03-11T18:01:23Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > I think there will be room in the US for all the overly touchy oh-don’t-blame-us-for-the-majority-of-other-southerners CSA expatriots. I find it more than a little amusing that you refer to the Michigan Militia “and other such tools” and then proceed to rattle off a list of the “crazy” (“stupid”?) states, none of which are Michigan. Or Idaho, where the Aryan Nations compound is. Or California, where the California Rangers were. Or, indeed, any of the Midwest or Pacific Northwest, where the Christian Identity/racialist/white resistance movement is strongest. ---
**Author:** ![Levolor\_the\_Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bc8723/32.png) [@Levolor\_the\_Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Levolor_the_Blind)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/114 "2009-03-11T18:09:27Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > … Or Idaho, where the Aryan Nations compound is … Was. They lost their compound in 2001. I mean, I’m sure there are still a bunch of the loonies still up there, but the official Aryan Nations is gone. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/115 "2009-03-11T18:10:23Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Uh huh. Majority? Prove it, and while you’re at it, you’d better add Colorado to that list, since the Front Range is now pretty much the nation’s hotbed of fundamentalism and racism. Man, I hope you’re not impugning an entire state based on the actions of a loud minority. Because that’s exactly what most Southerners tend to complain about when I point how what a bunch of backwards ass racist motherfuckers the residents of Mississippi are. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/116 "2009-03-11T18:11:37Z")
> [@Merijeek](#): > > Man, I hope you’re not impugning an entire state based on the actions of a loud minority. Because that’s exactly what most Southerners tend to complain about when I point how what a bunch of backwards ass racist motherfuckers the residents of Mississippi are. > > -Joe Congratulations. You’ve been whooshed. Report to Detention. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/117 "2009-03-11T18:12:44Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Ah, bigotry and stupidity are indeed alive and well on the SDMB. You saying it doesn’t make it so. Do you always froth at the mouth when accusing others of bigotry? > [@](#): > > “That same education”? Are you trolling me, or are you this dumb? You do realize that the South has the same diverse sources of education that the rest of the country has, right? Public, private, parochial, etc.? Or did you think we were all “edumacated” in a little red schoolhouse with a dirt floor, somewhere on the outskirts of Wedowee? Hmm yet the southern election maps always feature a lot of Republicans. Now tell me why would an intelligent person who values the future of America and it’s freedoms (such as those outlined in the first, and fifth amendments) send a republican to congress? If it isn’t the education then it must be the culture. Which is it? I suppose you could make an argument for the second amendment, but it seems pretty hypocritical to support the 2nd while trying to gut the others. I’m not saying this is universal or exclusive to the south, just some rather prominent parts of it. I have no fault and lots of love for the smarter parts of the south. > [@](#): > > As for the rest of your political screed, well, I’m no Republican, but from your post, I can see why a lot of rural Republicans think Democrats are assholes. And republicans where a machine that ran the country into the ground, tortured innocent people, lied to get us in a war that may yet bankrupt us, while cutting off tax revenue contributing in massive debt. If hating something so vile as the party of Rush makes me an asshole, then guilty as charged ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/118 "2009-03-11T18:13:28Z")
> [@Levolor\_the\_Blind](#): > > Was. They lost their compound in 2001. I mean, I’m sure there are still a bunch of the loonies still up there, but the official Aryan Nations is gone. Huh. Wonder how I missed that. [QUOTE=wiki] In February 2001, the group’s Hayden Lake compound and intellectual property, including the names Aryan Nations and Church of Jesus Christ Christian, were transferred to the Keenans.[7] The Keenans sold the property to Greg Carr, a Southeastern Idaho philanthropist who donated the land to North Idaho College, which designated it a peace park.[7][9] The watchtower was demolished, and **the church and meeting hall were burned to the ground during a firefighting exercise.** Now tours are occasionally given on the property. [/QUOTE] I like the bolded part. “Firefighting exercise” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/119 "2009-03-11T18:14:03Z")
> [@Shot\_Clock](#): > > I guess my big problem with Chuckie’s insignificant screed promoting Yahoo Conservatism (as well as his products and promotions) is that enough people might take this brand of bullshit seriously enough to where they actually try to “do something” to “Take America Back”. Nah! [Can’t happen here!](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oklahoma_City_bombing) ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/120 "2009-03-11T18:26:33Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > You saying it doesn’t make it so. Do you always froth at the mouth when accusing others of bigotry? Of course. Idiocy makes me angry. > [@](#): > > Hmm yet the southern election maps always feature a lot of Republicans. Now tell me why would an intelligent person who values the future of America and it’s freedoms (such as those outlined in the first, and fifth amendments) send a republican to congress? > > If it isn’t the education then it must be the culture. Which is it? Riiiiight. A well-reasoned, balanced opinion. Your thinking is as monolithic, inflexible, and lazy as I’ve come to expect. Excluded Middle Fallacy. Look it up, then get back to me. Also, “Purple America”. 5-page paper on why blue states are not really blue, and why red states are not really red. Due tomorrow morning. > [@](#): > > I suppose you could make an argument for the second amendment, but it seems pretty hypocritical to support the 2nd while trying to gut the others. > > I’m not saying this is universal or exclusive to the south, just some rather prominent parts of it. Oh thank you thank you thank you! Your expert treatise on the Southern mind has opened my eyes! :rolleyes: > [@](#): > > And republicans where a machine that ran the country into the ground, tortured innocent people, lied to get us in a war that may yet bankrupt us, while cutting off tax revenue contributing in massive debt. And Democrats don’t pay their taxes, and want to TAK AWAY YR GUNZEZ! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932.md?page=7)