# Oh noes, we're surrounded! Chuck Norris is going to kick our asses! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 10, 2009, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932 "2009-03-10T07:57:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/121 "2009-03-11T18:39:13Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Of course. Idiocy makes me angry. Unless it’s in Full Metal Jacket of course you stupid “southern” hypocrite. > [@](#): > > Riiiiight. A well-reasoned, balanced opinion. Your thinking is as monolithic, inflexible, and lazy as I’ve come to expect. > > Excluded Middle Fallacy. Look it up, then get back to me. > > Also, “Purple America”. 5-page paper on why blue states are not really blue, and why red states are not really red. Due tomorrow morning. Wow you’re a pompous and egotistical prick. You’re not my teacher. Do your own homework. Your arguments seem to be nothing but critiques of other people’s arguments, not actual arguments. Before you trying be “teach” maybe you should go pass debate 101 first. That’s my homework to you. A majority of southern states send Republicans to congress, the party currently lead by Rush Limbaugh, drama queen of the mouth breathing fools, and you’re saying that’s not reflective of southern cultural values? > [@](#): > > And Democrats don’t pay their taxes, and want to TAK AWAY YR GUNZEZ! Ahh mocking, because your “southern education” left you too stupid to explain why my critique of republicans is wrong. Go away fool. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/122 "2009-03-11T18:42:56Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > Unless it’s in Full Metal Jacket of course you stupid “southern” hypocrite. > > Wow you’re a pompous and egotistical prick. You’re not my teacher. Do your own homework. > > Your arguments seem to be nothing but critiques of other people’s arguments, not actual arguments. Before you trying be “teach” maybe you should go pass debate 101 first. That’s my homework to you. > > A majority of southern states send Republicans to congress, the party currently lead by Rush Limbaugh, drama queen of the mouth breathing fools, and you’re saying that’s not reflective of southern cultural values? > > Ahh mocking, because your “southern education” left you too stupid to explain why my critique of republicans is wrong. > > Go away fool. You have no arguments worth taking time out my day to address. You’re dismissed, until such time as you grow a pair and actually decide to learn something about that which you so obviously know nothing. Look, kiddo. Ignorance is not shameful until you 1) refuse to learn, and 2) opine about something of which you have no knowledge. Guilty as charged. Buh-bye. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/123 "2009-03-11T18:45:08Z")
> [@scabpicker](#): > > Speaking as a Texan, Chuck Norris is an asshole from Oklahoma. Enough said. Speaking as a recovering Texan, thank you, Jesus! ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/124 "2009-03-11T18:45:23Z")
Jeebus Christmas…cut it out! This stupid regional hijack is not adding interest to this thread…I just skimmed through a page and a half because it seemed to be all about “stupid southerner”/“stupid yankee” crap. Frankly, I’ve never lived south of the Mason-Dixon line but I’m somewhat sympathetic to **Ogre**. The post he responded badly to was way out of line. We’ve been over this before…you can’t blame some mythical “The South” for pretty much anything. There’s as much racism in “The North” as there is in “The South”. There’s as much Republicanism in “The North” as there is in “The South”. Using presidential results to try to pin “The South” as being the only Republican-voting region is somewhat misleading, since pretty much every state sends Republicans to at least the House, and that’s not even counting state and local positions. **Ogre** has a good point about purple states. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/125 "2009-03-11T18:51:36Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > You have no arguments worth taking time out my day to address. You’re dismissed, until such time as you grow a pair and actually decide to learn something about that which you so obviously know nothing. > > Look, kiddo. Ignorance is not shameful until you 1) refuse to learn, and 2) opine about something of which you have no knowledge. > > Guilty as charged. Buh-bye. Actually I came back to the thread to apologize. Quiet frankly I don’t like you because of another thread, but I should let that grudge go. I was arguing more on that grudge, and another grudge against republicans in general (not that I believe you are a republican mind you) then anything. A chance to give you a taste of your own medicine if you will. It was petty and immature and I apologize to you and various Southern and southern originated dopers here. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/126 "2009-03-11T18:57:11Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > Actually I came back to the thread to apologize. Quiet frankly I don’t like you because of another thread, but I should let that grudge go. I was arguing more on that grudge, and another grudge against republicans in general (not that I believe you are a republican mind you) then anything. A chance to give you a taste of your own medicine if you will. > > It was petty and immature and I apologize to you and various Southern and southern originated dopers here. Then please accept my apology as well. I tend to escalate these things past any useful limit, out of sheer pig-headedness and superiority. I understand your problem with Southern Republicans. Hell, 99% of the time, I have the same problems with them. Thank you for your apology, and please try not to think badly of me in the future. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/127 "2009-03-11T18:58:05Z")
Obviously, I need to berate more people for bickering in the Pit. _buffs his nails on his shirt_ ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/128 "2009-03-11T19:00:25Z")
Look, I was born and brought up about as far north as you can get without having a mandatory “Eh?” attached to every sentence. (;)) I learned the stereotype of the South from experts. And I’ve lived for ten years in rural North Carolina. Yeah, there’s a little truth in the stereotype – stereotypes are not built from nothing. But there’s also a **lot** that is missed by it – including the fact that no community, nowhere, is a monolithic entity of :shudder: “Them!” (You know “Them”; They’re the ones to blame. And They’re out to get us!) You know that neighbor – or maybe it’s your brother-in-law? – that you try to ignore as much as possible, because his opinions are unsupported by anything in Heaven or on Earth, and he’s convinced you need to hear them? Him? That’s how most people, north and south, feel about the local embarrassment that turns into a news story. Speaking of which, all those folks complaining about illegal aliens because they’re, y’know, committing crimes? Where are they when Chuck and his fellow vigilantes are advocating the overthrrow of the government? That is a **felony**. (How about an episode of “Walker: Texas Convict”?) ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/129 "2009-03-11T19:01:15Z")
I think it’s funny that Beck does a song and dance about being afraid of the Bubba effect but he’s the one doing the most to promote its encouragement. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/130 "2009-03-11T19:10:11Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I find it more than a little amusing that you refer to the Michigan Militia “and other such tools” and then proceed to rattle off a list of the “crazy” (“stupid”?) states, none of which are Michigan. Or Idaho, where the Aryan Nations compound is. Or California, where the California Rangers were. Or, indeed, any of the Midwest or Pacific Northwest, where the Christian Identity/racialist/white resistance movement is strongest. That’s exactly why I said there should be a mecca - you know, a place for them to go… a place away from me. I’ll be happy to trade all the people who want to violently overthrow the government every time a Democrat is elected president for all those who don’t want to live near them. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/131 "2009-03-11T19:10:47Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > Then please accept my apology as well. I tend to escalate these things past any useful limit, out of sheer pig-headedness and superiority. I understand your problem with Southern Republicans. Hell, 99% of the time, I have the same problems with them. Thank you for your apology, and please try not to think badly of me in the future. No worries, and thanks. I tend to escalate things too sometimes. Something pushes certain buttons and I react very emotionally instead of levelheaded. I can understand your defensiveness about The South. I get very defensive about Michigan these days. People pigeon hole the whole region based on it’s troubles without seeing the real people there. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/132 "2009-03-11T19:22:19Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > That’s exactly why I said there should be a mecca - you know, a place for them to go… a place away from me. > > I’ll be happy to trade all the people who want to violently overthrow the government every time a Democrat is elected president for all those who don’t want to live near them. As I pointed out earlier, the really crazy people (like the MM) want to violently overthrow the government when Republicans are in office too. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/133 "2009-03-11T20:11:03Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > As I pointed out earlier, the really crazy people (like the MM) want to violently overthrow the government when Republicans are in office too. True, very true. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/134 "2009-03-11T20:44:14Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Obviously, I need to berate more people for bickering in the Pit. > > _buffs his nails on his shirt_ There’s a dust-up in Ireland that could use your talents. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/135 "2009-03-11T20:48:43Z")
Aw. Group hug! ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/136 "2009-03-11T21:01:18Z")
> [@Equipoise](#): > > Aw. Group hug! Depends. Where are you from? ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/137 "2009-03-11T21:11:59Z")
The bluest city in the universe, man! Obamatown! (Chicago) (though I was born and raised in red, red Kansas, but don’t hold that against me. I got better.) ---
**Author:** ![sqweels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f19dbf/32.png) [@sqweels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sqweels)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/138 "2009-03-11T21:16:08Z")
Getting back on-topic, is Chuck Norris saying that people are–to put it one way–“bitter” and thus “clinging to guns and religion”? ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/139 "2009-03-11T21:16:59Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Using presidential results to try to pin “The South” as being the only Republican-voting region is somewhat misleading, since pretty much every state sends Republicans to at least the House, and that’s not even counting state and local positions. **Ogre** has a good point about purple states. Well, except that New England has absolutely no Republicans in the House, and three in the Senate, two of whom are barely Pubbies. Meanwhile, most (or at least a distinct majority) of the South is represented by two Republicans in the Senate and a Republican in the House. Let’s not start this argument up again, though. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2009, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932/140 "2009-03-11T21:25:13Z")
> [@sqweels](#): > > Getting back on-topic, is Chuck Norris saying that people are–to put it one way–“bitter” and thus “clinging to guns and religion”? Ha, that’s why they don’t like him. He hit a little too close to home. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-noes-were-surrounded-chuck-norris-is-going-to-kick-our-asses/488932.md?page=8)