Oh PLEASE with the fucking T.S.A.

[Ethilrist]

@Uzi

A question: Does anyone know why you have to put liquid items into a ziplock baggie? Because items may spill when handled by the monkeys of the security check?

Because the baggie is magic.

No, really. Read their blog. They know that you can’t make a liquid explosive using the tiny amounts of liquids they allow you to take onto the plane, so it doesn’t matter whether they’re all in a baggie or not… if they see a dozen little bottles scattered throughout your bag, they still understand that’s not bomb-making material, it’s just junk.

Here’s a scenario for ya:

Chapstick comes in all-plastic dispensers, so it doesn’t set off metal detectors. You can walk through the metal detector with chapstick in your pocket and you’re perfectly fine. You can stop, after putting your shoes back on, and take it out and apply some chapstick and they won’t say or do anything. Or, you can put it in a 3-1-1 bag and it’s perfectly fine. But if it’s loose in your carryon, they can insist you put it into the baggie, confiscate it, or make you throw it away, because the important thing is that the first time they set eyes on it, it needs to be in the magical baggie.

Actually, it’s because if they make you put all of your explosive materials into a 3-1-1 bag, then they know that anything else that isn’t in the bag is potentially explosive materials that you’re trying to smuggle through security. That makes much more sense, doesn’t it?

[Ethilrist]

@Uzi

There are only 3 things that are important when you travel: Your tickets/boarding passes, your passport, and your wallet.

@slaphead

And earplugs. Don’t forget the earplugs.

But aside from that, what has the TSA ever done for us?

[Uzi]

@Ethilrist

Actually, it’s because if they make you put all of your explosive materials into a 3-1-1 bag, then they know that anything else that isn’t in the bag is potentially explosive materials that you’re trying to smuggle through security. That makes much more sense, doesn’t it?

Let me get back to you when I’ve done a couple hits of crack. Then I’m sure it will.

[Cartooniverse]

@ianzin

There is no such thing as ‘rocket surgery’.

Perhaps the person with an IQ lower than room temperature is the one who cannot successfully compose a simple sentence that involves either ‘rocket science’ or ‘brain surgery’.

Welcome to The Straight Dope.

The phrase is quite popular exactly because it is a blend of “It’s not Brain Surgery” and “It’s not Rocket Science”.

Cite, one of many found if you Google Image that phrase

Perhaps, even in The Pit, one might poke around the Dope or the Internet at large before posting something so thinly meanspirited.

I tested at 148.

[Cartooniverse]

@slaphead

And earplugs. Don’t forget the earplugs.

And a bottle of water. And a Hershey’s bar with Almonds.

[Rack-a-Bones]

@Cartooniverse

Welcome to The Straight Dope.

The phrase is quite popular exactly because it is a blend of “It’s not Brain Surgery” and “It’s not Rocket Science”.

Cite, one of many found if you Google Image that phrase

Perhaps, even in The Pit, one might poke around the Dope or the Internet at large before posting something so thinly meanspirited.

I tested at 148.

I thought he/she was whooshing us. Didn’t think anyone on The Dope was that dense. I really shouldn’t be surprised anymore.

And to keep on topic: I’ve never once had a problem with a TSA agent, a gate agent, customs in any country*, or any type of airport personnel. YMMV and all that…

*When I went to Moscow (the one in the former USSR) I was the only one of our plane to get pulled out of line and searched, but, again, it was a blessing in disguise as I didn’t have to wait in line. They searched my bags and sent me through security in 1/4 the time everyone else had to wait at the usual customs line.

[Cervaise]

@Rack-a-Bones

Didn’t think anyone on The Dope was that dense. I really shouldn’t be surprised anymore.

Thing is, he isn’t dense at all. He’s one of our sharpest members. I guess it’s one of those weird random blind spots from which we all occasionally suffer. (Do a search in the Pit for “idiot fishface fuckhole” for one of my own embarrassments, frex.)

[Rack-a-Bones]

@Cervaise

Thing is, he isn’t dense at all. He’s one of our sharpest members. I guess it’s one of those weird random blind spots from which we all occasionally suffer. (Do a search in the Pit for “idiot fishface fuckhole” for one of my own embarrassments, frex.)

Well, his location says London so maybe something was lost in translation?

I didn’t do a search but I am somehow going to get “*idiot fishface fuckhole *” worked into a conversation today.

[Rick]

FWIW I traveled last weekend for the first time in several months.
I found that the TSA has done something that will undoubtedly thwart any terrorist plots that are in the planning stages.
This is huge.
No one could see this one coming.
No way to stop this one.

Instead of white shirts, the TSA agents are wearing royal blue shirts.

I bet you feel better already. I know I do.

[Tapioca_Dextrin]

With all this advice about how best to pack your carry one, we seem to have forgotten the point of the thread, which is to to say the sham of a job being done by the TSA. Not to worry, though. A nice gentleman at The Atlantic has kindly done our work for us. I’ll just quote the end of the article

“I can’t find my driver’s license,” I said. I showed him my fake boarding pass. “I need to get to Washington quickly,” I added. He asked me if I had any other identification. I showed him a credit card with my name on it, a library card, and a health-insurance card. “Nothing else?” he asked.

“No,” I said.

“You should really travel with a second picture ID, you know.”

“Yes, sir,” I said.

“All right, you can go,” he said, pointing me to the X-ray line. “But let this be a lesson for you.”

:smack:

[PoorYorick]

@Furious_Marmot

Another thing they do here that makes me furious is that they randomly search checked bags using a piece of cloth on a stick, which is analyzed by a machine. This wouldn’t be a problem except they use the same cloth over and over. It looks like it’s been used to polish someone’s shoes. It is disquieting to think that the filthy rag that is run over my spare eyeglasses may very well have recently been plunged into a sack of somebody else’s unwashed unerpants. Worse still, is it possible that the rag picks up more and more particles of innocuous chemicals (say, gasoline from the soles of shoes) from all the bags, until the amount on it surpasses the threshold that sets off the bomb alarm?

My after shave creme always sets this off. The TSA guy told me that it was probably because of the glycerin in it (New advertising slogan: “Polo: So powerful, it’s mistaken for a bomb”). I’ve never seen them reuse the little cloth, though.