I agree. The sooner the TSA is disbanded the better, in my opinion.
My flight to Blighty and back last weekend was an unmitigated disaster, and not all TSA related. First they kept me on the tarmac at National (I will NEVER refer to it by it’s new name) for 2 1/2 hours, leading to my arrival in Philly at the same tight as my flight to the UK left - fortunately I had no checked bags and they were closing the door as I arrived panting at the gate.
The flight back was worse. I had bought absinthe for a friend, and so had to check my bag. My father prevailed upon me to carry Christmas presents back for people, which, despite my demands, he wrapped. I told him specifically I was taking them on as carry on, and he assented, even giving me a bag for the process. I arrived at security to rather panic the British TSA-equivalents by trying to walk onto a plane carrying a wrapped package of freaking barbecue tools. Father and me are not on good terms right now.
I then bought cologne for myself at duty free. Of course, seeing as this is a liquid, when I changed flights I had to put it into my checked baggage. Something I only remembered as my checked bag was disappearing away from me on the conveyor belt. Fortunately they grabbed it back to allow me to put it in.
And of course they screwed up my seat allocation on all four flights.
Yep. The CNN story makes this plainer.
I think we’d be at a greater risk than we are at now, given that the TSA has taken the pains to educate the terrorists of the world as to how to get bombs, igniters, matches, and fuses past pre-9/11 security systems.
That, combined with our government’s efforts to piss of everybody of an even remotely terrorist bent, would probably create some unfortunate circumstances.
I’d just like to point out that the only airport in the Western World (that I am aware of) where you can still tote your brought-from-home liter-and-a-half water bottle from the ticketing agents right through security and on to the plane is Ben Gurion airport…
Oh, and you can keep your shoes on, too. And your belt, unless you actually trip the metal detector with it.
Make of it what you will… :dubious:
That the people running security in Israel actually know what they’re doing and the TSA is run by a bunch of retarded monkeys?
I’ve got nothing against infrequent fliers, but the morons who can’t bother to read the ‘photo ID required’ and ‘3-1-1’ signs deserve a body cavity search.
I make this offer to all Dopers. If you need to travel to NYC, you can UPS your bags to me. I’ll hold 'em for you.
It’s safer that way.
Last week in Cincy I had the pleasure of walking through the air-puff machine for the first time. Nice that they found a way to slow down the security process at an airport where it was previously always a pretty quick deal. I’m sure those machines are well worth whatever they cost.
But I did feel safer given TSA’s nifty new shirts and badges!
Found the secret to a quick pass through O’Hare’s security - arrive at 5:45 a.m. for a 6:40 Thursday flight! Makes it worth waking up early.
I can no longer go through any TSA security checkpoint quickly. You see, I’m one of those dangerous terrorist-wannabes who had the gall <gasp> to get a knee replacement. That’s right, I have metal implanted in my knee, horror of horrors! The fact that I carry a card from my doctor with me at all times that has a bar code on it that provides all the information about my identification, my surgery, where it was done, when it was done, who it was done by, etc., is completely meaningless to TSA. No, I have to be physically searched every. single. fucking. time. I fly.
I’m getting heartily sick of it. Before I go through the metal detector, I say, “I have an artificial knee, here’s my card,” and the TSA idiot always waves it off and just sends me over to the physical pat-down line. I mean, I look so dangerous. :rolleyes:
The last time I flew, I also carried <gasp> contraband through the security checkpoint. That’s right, I had a 3-ounce container of hand lotion in my purse that I forgot about, and didn’t put it into a quart-sized ziploc bag! I am evil! I should be jailed forever!
Yeah, you can’t get rid of TSA too soon for me, either.
No, thank you. I don’t fly at all frequently anymore, so I spaced out and forgot about the 3-1-1 thing. TSA people (at O’Hare) told me to go get a large Ziploc bag to put my items in. The Neutrogena sunscreen was pitched. She didn’t want to accept my prescription tube of ointment because it had no label–the prescribing label, that is, but she changed her mind.
I went to a ticketing counter, obtained my large clear ziploc bag, placed my items (toothpaste, Nivea creme, Rx ointment and perfume) into and voila! The clear plastic of the ziploc (don’t use generics, kids) immediately renders any explosive I may be carrying inert. Truly we live in a magic age. :rolleyes:
Logan didn’t care what I had or what it was in. Both O’Hare and Logan made me take off my shoes.
I agree that it’s security theater, but I’d like different lines and a larger dressing room. Ta.
My personal favorite TSA comedy moment occured in OKC. My carry on was full of ‘suspicious’ things: 3 phones, a blackberry, a music player, a computer, chargers for all, a DC inverter the size of a brick, extra wires and batteries, and several unmarked bottles of pills. After they Xray machine, the TSA lady hand searched it by opening the bag and touching each item with her index finger, without removing any from their protective cases. She then fished out my house keys, and holding them out like a dead fish asked me “What dis?”. I answered correctly and they let me go.
Another thing they do here that makes me furious is that they randomly search checked bags using a piece of cloth on a stick, which is analyzed by a machine. This wouldn’t be a problem except they use the same cloth over and over. It looks like it’s been used to polish someone’s shoes. It is disquieting to think that the filthy rag that is run over my spare eyeglasses may very well have recently been plunged into a sack of somebody else’s unwashed unerpants. Worse still, is it possible that the rag picks up more and more particles of innocuous chemicals (say, gasoline from the soles of shoes) from all the bags, until the amount on it surpasses the threshold that sets off the bomb alarm?
Mighty thoughty of you.
My brother says he and his wife always FedEx their stuff on ahead, and take very little with them. If they’re going to China they buy clothes when they get there.
I probalby will FedEx or ship some stuff on up to NYC, to my sister’s place.
I just dread flying. Is it true that the security line for crack-of-dawn flights goes faster?
Ew. Will now stay home and knit instead of risking nasty skin ailments for The Cause-which I think is the War on Travelers, but it may be Terrorists…
Have to agree, here. I’ve flown maybe 2 or 3 times since 9/11/01, and I still always look at the TSA website before starting to pack so I know what I can and can’t bring with me, and the other hoops they’ll make me jump through. Last time I had to check a bag so I checked the website a week ahead of time so I could find out what luggage locks are TSA approved. Plus, photo ID has always been required since time immemorial (or at least the past 15 years, when I started flying), and the shoe bomb and 3-1-1 liquid stuff were all over the news when they first happened.
TSA is in the news often enough that I can’t fathom who wouldn’t check things out ahead of time. Save yourself (and everyone around you) some headache, already.
I don’t understand why anyone carries anything on a plane at all. Check everything and go empty-handed. I can understand laptops, books, and mags, but what else could you possibly need before you get your checked bag back? Why do you need hand lotion and ointment and water bottles and scissors and glue and matches and crap like that?!?! For a flight less than two hours, I need nothing but my ticket and wallet.
Yeah, except now they charge you to check anything at all, I think the minimum charge is $25 but it may differ per airline. So they don’t want you to check baggage but they don’t want to you be able to carry on 30% of the stuff you’ll need at your destination either.
well, my very first long flight, we got stranded in the airport for about 48 hours (and of course, my checked luggage was long since stowed and unavailable). Since then, I’ve always carried essentials like meds, toiletries, and a quick change of clothes in a carryon.
Every time I go through a TSA checkpoint I spend the (often) 60 - 90 minutes in line mentally composing a Straight Dope Pit post about it. Honestly, WTF is wrong with those chuckleheads?
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As mentioned in the OP, WHY in the name of og are the protocols different in every bleeping airport? If shoes are dangerous in Orlando, why the fuck aren’t they dangerous in Las Vegas? Can’t those idiots standardize shit? Do they not talk to anyone else?
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We travelers have had ever increasing security-related demands imposed upon us since 9/11, and they show no sign of abating. Given that, why the FUCK don’t the airlines, airports and the TSA set up a decent process for the security checks? A subset of this is the bullet point above: fucking standardize the process, you morons. Then put in the equipment, signage, real estate, rope lines, etc. to support the process! It’s like ALL these procedures were set up last week, not 7 long years ago. Honestly, I have two dogs at home that could do a better job of setting up an area where people and their shit are being searched. How about putting in some more of those folding tables so people can organize their stuff prior to going through the scanners? And maybe some chairs outside the search area so people can get fucking dressed again? How about some SIGNS to remind the less-frequent fliers of what is required. Do you guys not have MS Word on your computers? Wait - do you even HAVE computers? If not, then go to fucking Kinkos and run off a couple of signs and have them laminated. Go to fucking Walmart and buy a couple of trash cans and three folding tables, you dipshits.
Why is this so goddam hard for you? How about you appoint one of the workers with a room temp IQ to stand off to the side and observe the process, note the choke points and then address them! Seriously, this is not rocket surgery, and if you guys don’t have the brains to do this, your chances of catching Osama as he leaves Portland for San Jose are zip point doodah.
I’m loathe to indicate my disgust with this crap when I’m in line or being searched for fear of getting strip searched AND missing my flight (and being put on some kind of watch list {yeah, like those buffoons could actually maintain a watch list}) and I worry that one day after standing around for a fucking hour I’m going to lose control and roll my eyes over some of their kindergarten shit and actually get arrested on charges of extreme sarcasm.
Note that I don’t even address the fact that the measures the TSA has implemented add exactly NOTHING to the safety of air travel or whatever their goal is. I’m just saying, if they’re going to do this crap, why the fuck can’t they do it WELL??
Because for the last 48 years I’ve understood that there are two kinds of airline baggage: 1. Carry on and 2. Lost.
I carry enough stuff (like underwear, toothbrush and paste, etc) to sustain me for the 5 days it normally takes an airline to locate and deliver my luggage. Plus, I ain’t trusting them with anything I want to see again. Fuckers search my checked baggage and don’t close the zipper so shit falls out in transit.