# Oh, Sir! Let me introduce you to a nice knothole... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 20, 2014, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sir-let-me-introduce-you-to-a-nice-knothole/688817 "2014-05-20T11:57:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2014, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sir-let-me-introduce-you-to-a-nice-knothole/688817/21 "2014-05-20T20:28:12Z")
His lawyer will have to strike just the right chord of wood to get him off. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2014, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sir-let-me-introduce-you-to-a-nice-knothole/688817/22 "2014-05-20T20:56:49Z")
How much wood would chuck fuck if chuck would fuck wood? ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sir-let-me-introduce-you-to-a-nice-knothole/688817/23 "2014-06-03T03:06:58Z")
Very reminiscent of [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=479609&highlight=bench). šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sir-let-me-introduce-you-to-a-nice-knothole/688817/24 "2014-06-03T03:14:37Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > Thatā€™s it, thread over. Everyone pack up and go home. Wait! He didnā€™t select if he wanted a receipt or notā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sir-let-me-introduce-you-to-a-nice-knothole/688817/25 "2014-06-03T03:20:24Z")
> [@Siam\_Sam](#): > > Very reminiscent of [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=479609&highlight=bench). šŸ˜ƒ Which begs the question, how far could a woodchuck chuck a wench bench thatā€™s being fā€¦? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sir-let-me-introduce-you-to-a-nice-knothole/688817/26 "2014-06-03T03:22:22Z")
Okay, so now that heā€™s nailed the table, is he in danger of getting shingles? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sir-let-me-introduce-you-to-a-nice-knothole/688817/27 "2014-06-03T03:25:35Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > Wait! He didnā€™t select if he wanted a receipt or notā€¦ You know, the ATM almost makes sense. Youā€™re already screwed by the ā€˜white labelā€™ service charge, especially at a bar, so why not have some fun? At least you can get a receiptā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sir-let-me-introduce-you-to-a-nice-knothole/688817/28 "2014-06-03T03:28:45Z")
Most people have probably thought to themselves ā€œFuck the banksā€ at one time or the other, but it takes a special kind of person to take that literally. (almost) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sir-let-me-introduce-you-to-a-nice-knothole/688817/29 "2014-06-03T03:31:01Z")
Actually, Sir, the rest of the platoon just waits on the bench until the bus to the brothel picks them up. ---
**Author:** ![PurpleClogs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f04885/32.png) [@PurpleClogs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleClogs)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sir-let-me-introduce-you-to-a-nice-knothole/688817/30 "2014-06-03T04:01:12Z")
The ATMā€¦ Just what orifice was he aiming for? Hope it wasnā€™t the envelope grabberā€¦ Ouch! ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sir-let-me-introduce-you-to-a-nice-knothole/688817/31 "2014-06-03T12:57:54Z")
All the inanimate objects get prettier at closing time. ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sir-let-me-introduce-you-to-a-nice-knothole/688817/32 "2014-06-03T13:30:23Z")
Often itā€™s a crime of the signs. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2014, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sir-let-me-introduce-you-to-a-nice-knothole/688817/33 "2014-06-03T13:38:48Z")
> [@PurpleClogs](#): > > The ATMā€¦ Just what orifice was he aiming for? Hope it wasnā€™t the envelope grabberā€¦ Ouch! Thatā€™s right: thereā€™s more than one. He could do ATM with the ATM. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sir-let-me-introduce-you-to-a-nice-knothole/688817/34 "2014-06-04T05:26:57Z")
This is obviously a new usage of the initialism ā€œATMā€ that I was previously unfamiliar with. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sir-let-me-introduce-you-to-a-nice-knothole/688817/35 "2014-06-04T05:41:23Z")
He just wanted to come into some money. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sir-let-me-introduce-you-to-a-nice-knothole/688817/36 "2014-06-04T16:08:00Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > This is obviously a new usage of the initialism ā€œATMā€ that I was previously unfamiliar with. And now the court will refer the perpetrator to mental healthcare providers for mandatory CBT. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sir-let-me-introduce-you-to-a-nice-knothole/688817/37 "2014-06-04T22:17:18Z")
ā€œOur apologies. This machine is not currently accepting deposits.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2014, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sir-let-me-introduce-you-to-a-nice-knothole/688817/38 "2014-06-04T23:00:17Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > This is obviously a new usage of the initialism ā€œATMā€ that I was previously unfamiliar with. I donā€™t know if this is a whoosh but, yes, the term ā€œATMā€ has an established sexual meaning thatā€™s separate from its meaning as a money-dispensing machine. ---
**Author:** ![Ignatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/3be4f8/32.png) [@Ignatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ignatz)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2014, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-sir-let-me-introduce-you-to-a-nice-knothole/688817/39 "2014-06-06T00:26:37Z")
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