# Oh so close to a Darwin Award...a dickhead all the same. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 22, 2014, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-so-close-to-a-darwin-award-a-dickhead-all-the-same/686662 "2014-04-22T07:59:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-so-close-to-a-darwin-award-a-dickhead-all-the-same/686662/1 "2014-04-22T07:59:16Z")
So some young daredevil decided to do the [Squeeze Test on Mt Arapiles](http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-04-22/climber-trapped-between-two-large-boulders-at-mount-arapiles/5402856) here in western Victoria. At 10 o’clock at night. Without any mates around. Just for shits and giggles. (For those not wanting to click on the link, it’s a crevice between two massive mega-tonne boulders that just demands you squeeze your body through…preferably with someone else wielding a camera so they can bung it on YouTube) Y’know, there are times I wish I was a carefree kid again…doing life-threatening stuff because I didn’t give two hoots about the consequences, and of course I’d be immortal because no young folk ever die as a result of doing stupid shit… Oh…wait…:smack: ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-so-close-to-a-darwin-award-a-dickhead-all-the-same/686662/2 "2014-04-22T09:32:06Z")
They got him out with olive oil and a pulley? I think they should have used nitro and made the world safer. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-so-close-to-a-darwin-award-a-dickhead-all-the-same/686662/3 "2014-04-22T09:39:22Z")
Or at least added some salt and vinegar. Bit of tuna, a few black olives, some onion… ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-so-close-to-a-darwin-award-a-dickhead-all-the-same/686662/4 "2014-04-22T10:20:51Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Or at least added some salt and vinegar. Bit of tuna, a few black olives, some onion… Mmm… dickhead sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-so-close-to-a-darwin-award-a-dickhead-all-the-same/686662/5 "2014-04-22T10:44:24Z")
Perhaps he can feature on a future issue of [Science of Stupid](http://natgeotv.com/uk/science-of-stupid/videos/the-backflip) where a very droll Richard Hammond, with the aid of quality graphics, explains the scientific failings behind _Funniest Home Videos_ type accidents. No doubt like several of the shows I have watched online, friction will get a mention. I always hated those accident videos but now that they are presented as explanations of things like _conservation of angular momentum_, _Hooke’s Law_ and _centripetal force_ I am able to laugh wholeheartedly at the “scientists” involved in these experiments. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-so-close-to-a-darwin-award-a-dickhead-all-the-same/686662/6 "2014-04-22T11:02:54Z")
As the poet Jayne Cobb might have put it: Talk about being caught between a rock and… some more rock. ---
**Author:** ![Isilder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@Isilder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isilder)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-so-close-to-a-darwin-award-a-dickhead-all-the-same/686662/7 "2014-04-22T11:56:07Z")
They might fill the crevice up. It could trap a fat person, where the fat falls in and then acts to block their extraction. (The solution to extricate a fat person may be to put a rope down and pull the up the fat belly first, and then try to bring the body up following the belly … But gravity tends to make that hard… they might have to do liposuction in situ !) ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-so-close-to-a-darwin-award-a-dickhead-all-the-same/686662/8 "2014-04-22T12:18:33Z")
According to the less-known definition of a Darwin Award, you qualify if a dickhead is decidedly **not** involved! Victoria? It would’ve been more fitting in the capital of the Northern Territory. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-so-close-to-a-darwin-award-a-dickhead-all-the-same/686662/9 "2014-04-22T12:31:25Z")
> [@Isilder](#): > > (The solution to extricate a fat person may be to put a rope down and pull the up the fat belly first, and then try to bring the body up following the belly … But gravity tends to make that hard… they might have to do liposuction in situ !) Just leave them in there, and feed them nothing but rice cakes and water until they’ve dropped enough weight to slide out. Heck, you could even market it as a new dieting fad, for those tough cases where nothing else works. Although the problem might be stuffing the fatsos in there in the first place… ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-so-close-to-a-darwin-award-a-dickhead-all-the-same/686662/10 "2014-04-22T12:41:01Z")
Makes me shudder. Being trapped like that is my Room 101. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-so-close-to-a-darwin-award-a-dickhead-all-the-same/686662/11 "2014-04-22T14:13:49Z")
What a shitty way that would have been to die. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-so-close-to-a-darwin-award-a-dickhead-all-the-same/686662/12 "2014-04-22T14:48:50Z")
To what defect in my development can I attribute the failure of this topic to interest me? ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2014, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-so-close-to-a-darwin-award-a-dickhead-all-the-same/686662/13 "2014-04-22T21:42:31Z")
It clearly fails to interest you less than those threads you don’t post in at all, even to threadshit. So it’s got that going for it you have to admit. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-so-close-to-a-darwin-award-a-dickhead-all-the-same/686662/14 "2014-04-23T09:04:13Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > To what defect in my development can I attribute the failure of this topic to interest me? Wow. That’s so deep. Almost, but not _quite_ Zen. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-so-close-to-a-darwin-award-a-dickhead-all-the-same/686662/15 "2014-04-23T09:20:18Z")
Just to sate my curiosity, what would the procedures have been if the oil and pulleys failed to get our hero out? Obviously, they can’t blow the shit out of the rocks without also blowing the shit out of our hero…would they perhaps have administered a general anaesthetic and broken some bones to ease his body through the gap? ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2014, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/oh-so-close-to-a-darwin-award-a-dickhead-all-the-same/686662/16 "2014-04-23T12:29:11Z")
I guess that’s the point where you get the disc cutters and drills out and try to carefully remove parts of rock without removing parts of the person. Not sure what sort of rock it was, but if it’s limestone or sandstone, that ought to be possible.